Losing Nuka (Litmus Book 1) (27 page)

“Yes, Cade. I’d like to know as well,” Jonas says coming around to stand behind her.

A long shiny piece of metal in his hand catches my attention.

“Why do you have a gun?” I ask, my voice coming out jittery.

Sasha starts backing up a few steps and away from our mother.

Cade doesn’t say anything and Jonas doesn’t answer me. Cade lowers her head, staring at the carpet in front of her.

“Planning on leaving me?” Jonas asks, using the muzzle of the gun to push a strand of Cade’s blonde hair behind her ear. It’s unsuccessful as the barrel is too thick, but it’s certainly successful in being scary as hell.

“Of course not. I would never—”

“Don’t lie to me,” he growls.

I find myself holding my breath. Sasha reaches for my hand, squeezing it like if she lets it go, she’ll fall to the ground. Drake is quiet behind me, and I don’t want to turn around to give him eye contact. I can’t take my eyes off that gun. The silvery steel glints off the fading light from the sun setting outside.

“I don’t need you, you know,” Jonas says. “There would be plenty of women who’d be lining up to replace you. Do you want that? Because I can give you your out. Right now. Just say the word.” He holds the gun to her head now, right against her temple.

“You know I want to be with you,” she says, her voice quivering.

“Until I can believe you again, I’m revoking all of your access to my money. Got it? You will need to provide all receipts for the things I give you money for. There will be no more ‘shopping trips,’ no more outings. That goes for you too, Sasha.”

Cade nods, tears falling freely down her face.

He takes the gun away and then offers his hand to help her off the ground. “Now that we have that sorted,” he says as Cade gets to her feet, “back to the original issue.”

The gun now faces me. My heart, which was already racing, now beats impossibly fast.

“You lost us our best fighter,” he says.

I want to argue with him that Ryker is his best fighter, but I don’t think a “who’s number one” debate is on Jonas’s agenda right now.

“No. He was gone anyway. Nothing—not even lack of money—would’ve stopped him from saving Paddy.” I can hear the pleading edge in my voice.

“You,” he addresses Drake, “You didn’t think to stop him? Did neither of you think to stop him? Did you know, Sasha?”

“She had nothing to do with it. She didn’t even know until …”
Stop talking.

“Until?” Jonas pushes.

“I found out a few days after he left,” Sasha admits. I shake my head at her. She doesn’t need to be involving herself in this.

Jonas rubs his head with the back of his hand that’s holding the gun like he’s in thought. The fact he’s so calm with waving that thing around makes me even more anxious, reminding me that Brett said Jonas isn’t above killing.

It’s taking everything inside me not to break down, not to sink to the floor in a puddle of nervous tears.

We’re all silent as we watch Jonas make his way back to his desk. He takes a seat, placing the gun on the wooden surface.

Cade stands visibly shaken, obviously put in her place. Her eyes still haven’t left the floor. It’s the first time I’ve actually seen her show any weakness. She’s always so composed.

“You’ve betrayed us—all three of you,” Jonas says. “There will be punishments, of course. Sasha, as I’ve already said, no more shopping trips on my dime. You want something? You’ll have to pull more shifts at Litmus. Perhaps as something other than a bartender.”

She nods but remains silent.

“Nuka. I guess now that you’re officially single, we can use that to our advantage.”

“Advantage?” my voice croaks.

“There’d be plenty of punters who’d pay a lot for you.”

“No,” Drake says as he stands a little straighter.

“What do you mean, they’d pay for me?” I ask.

“For your
company
, of course.”

“She won’t be doing that,” Drake says.

“Well, this isn’t up to you,” Jonas says. “In fact, you’re no longer needed at all.”

I go to step in to beg for Drake’s job, thinking that’s what Jonas means. But I’m wrong.
So very wrong.

The gunshot explodes in my ear as Drake’s blood spatters, and I feel the spray on my skin. Arms wrap around me, holding me back as I try to get to Drake, to help him, to save him. Sasha’s grip is too tight, though, and I don’t have the strength, mentally or physically, to break free. Instead, I turn in to her, sobbing into her shoulder as we hold onto each other. She whimpers as she starts to shake. It doesn’t take long for the roles to reverse and I’m soon consoling her. She was closer to Drake than I was. They were more than a bodyguard and his assignment, they were friends. Sometimes more than just friends.

There’s no way he could survive a shot at such close range, and I can’t do anything but stand here, holding onto my sister, rubbing her back like it’ll make everything better. I shake my head at myself.
Nothing will make this better.

A metallic taste fills my mouth, and at first I think some of his blood spattered in my mouth, but then I realise I’m biting on my cheek so hard, it’s bleeding. Bile rises in my throat, and I fear I won’t be able to squash it back down.

“Now,” Jonas says, standing.

Sasha and I unwrap our arms from each other but our feet remain planted to our spots on the floor.

Jonas makes his way around the table, stepping over Drake’s lifeless body like it’s not even there. “As you can see, I’m severely hurt by your betrayal. I didn’t want to do that, but he was no longer trustworthy, and I have no means of making money out of him. You, on the other hand, will be able to make it up to me, beg me for forgiveness, and earn back my trust.”

I don’t know how to answer him. Surely yelling “no!” will result in a bullet in my head.

“I’ll take over Brett’s contract. Five years, right? I’ll do it,” I stammer.

Jonas laughs. “Oh, my dear girl, that will just be the beginning. You think you’re in the same league as Brawn?
Really?
”

“I’ll train harder, I’ll get better. Ryker can take over my training.”

“Who’s Ryker?” he asks.

“Psych,” Cade answers.

Wow, he doesn’t even know his fighter’s real names.

“Seven years. Minimum. That’ll take you close to fighting retirement age. You can retain your ten-percent cut, but you can kiss your charity goodbye.”

“But—”

“This isn’t a negotiation,” he yells.

I nod, shrinking back into myself.

“If you’re not performing to the standard expected of you, you
will
be earning money for me through other means. Got it? As I said, I could earn a lot from you. ‘A night with Heatwave’ has a certain ring to it.”

“Jonas, please,” Cade says.

Really? Now she’s going to play mother?
I guess it’s good to know that even Cade has her limits. I can dress provocatively to earn her money, but taking it further than that isn’t acceptable.

“Don’t you start, woman. You’ve already got enough to make up for.”

“I’ll take on more responsibilities,” Sasha says. “I’ll become a bookie now instead of later like we discussed. I’ll give you a bigger cut than the others. Anything. Just don’t make Nuka do …
that.
”

Jonas cracks a small smile, knowing he owns us all now. “I’ll give you one more week to recover before your training will start up again. Cade, you can organise that with Psych. And bring up two guys from Litmus security. They’ll guard the girls until we can hire someone permanently. Someone who’s not going to let them get away with anything and isn’t going to screw us over. Someone who won’t want to get into their pants, clouding their judgement. They’re under lock and key from now on, okay? They’re our greatest possessions, and we will not lose them like we lost Brett. Understand?”

Great.

“Yes, Jonas,” Cade replies obediently.

“You two are dismissed,” he says, waving the gun at Sasha and me. “Cade, clean this up.”

“Yes, Jonas.”

Sasha starts pulling me towards the door, and I make the mistake of glancing back. Just once. Drake’s eyes are vacant, and he’s covered in blood. I’m one hundred percent sure I will never get the image of Cade dragging his lifeless body out of my head.

Sasha and I are both silent as our feet move robotically towards my room.

“Can I stay with you?” she asks, her voice mousy.

“Of course,” I say. I wrap my arm around her and lead her into my bedroom.

“Did that really just happen?”

“I wish it didn’t.”

“What are we going to do?” she whispers.

“I have no friggin’ clue.”

She sniffs, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her top.

“Was Cade really after my money?” I ask.

Sasha starts sobbing. “She’s been trying to get away from Jonas for years. It’s why she told you to keep the trust fund a secret. She wanted me to … she …”

“She asked you to get close to me, so you could work out a way to take it?” My tone isn’t as angry as it should be. For some reason I know Sasha wouldn’t do that to me.

“She said that you stole that money from
her,
that your dad owed it to
her,
and it was unfair that you didn’t earn it. I believed her at first, but then I spent five minutes with you and knew she was wrong. I realised within the first day of knowing you that being your sister was way more important than being her daughter. And she was about to throw you under the bus. To Jonas, no less. Please, you
have
to forgive me. I know Mum never will, but I don’t even care about that. I just don’t want to lose you. Please,” she pleads through her tears.

“We’ll get out. I promise,” I say, taking her into my arms.

How am I ever going to keep that promise?

-22-

NO PLAN

We both have a horrible night’s sleep. Just when I start to drift off, Sasha startles and starts crying again. I join her, and by morning I think we’re all cried out.

I keep seeing it over and over again. Drake’s blood going everywhere and his body dropping to the ground, empty of any life. In my memory, Cade doesn’t even flinch. She stands in the corner, looking at the ground, unmoving, like some obedient dog.

Everyone told me to be scared of Cade and Jonas. I just figured they were a team, both as bad as each other. I repeatedly told myself to stay on their good side because I didn’t want to encounter their infamous wrath. But it was all him. Cade’s attitude, her scariness, it all came from orders passed down by Jonas. He owns her, just as he owns all of us.

I know I should probably feel sorry for Cade, but I don’t. It’s her job as a mother to protect her daughters from monsters like Jonas, not sell them to him.

There’s a quiet knock at the door before Cade enters, two men trailing behind her—one I recognise from Litmus security, the other I’ve never seen before. Sasha and I sit up in bed, covering ourselves with the sheet. We’re wearing pyjamas, but it’s still awkward.

“Your new assignments, gentlemen,” Cade says. When she turns her head to face them, bruises on her neck stand out—four circular marks from fingers digging into her throat. I can only assume she’s been through a whole night of punishment.

“Uh …” the Litmus bouncer stutters.

“It’s only until we can get full-time replacements. It’s your job to make sure they don’t leave this house unless on an approved outing. You are to escort Nuka to training, and make sure Sasha completes her studies. You’re not here to make friends. This is a job, and professionalism is needed. The reason the last two didn’t work out is because they got too close. Understand?”

They both nod.

“You do not let them talk you into going out unless I have approved it. Got it?”

“You pull me out of the club so I can babysit spoiled princesses? Really?” the one I don’t know says.

“You’ll be getting paid double while you’re here. If that doesn’t interest you, there’s the door,” she snaps, pointing behind them.

For a moment, I think the one I recognise is about to take an exit, but one look at Cade’s face and I realise why he’s second-guessing himself and keeping glued to the spot. She has her intimidating face on.

“Right. I’ll leave you to it, then. Keep an eye on both of them, but particularly
Nuka
.”

“Thanks,
Mum
,” I yell after her as she walks out. It’s the first time I’ve ever called her that, and it will definitely be the last. She briefly freezes at my barb but doesn’t bite, continuing down the hallway.

“Are you … is she … I didn’t realise she had another daughter, let alone you … you’re
freaking
Heatwave,
” Litmus dude says.

“I hate that name. Call me Nuka.”

He nods once.

“Logan, how did you get roped into doing this?” Sasha asks.

“I have no idea. One minute Cade was asking for a favour, the next minute I’m down here with you.” The poor guy looks so nervous.

“And who are you?” Sasha asks the other one.

“Byron. I work at Alchemy.”

“Not anymore, you don’t,” I mutter under my breath.

Alchemy is one of the bars that’s attached to the staff tunnels. It’s the one Brett and I were drinking at only just a few weeks ago.
Ugh.
I shake that thought from my mind before it threatens to take over me.

“Is it true what they’re saying? Brett and Drake are …” Logan asks.
There are rumours already?

“Gone,” I say, stronger than I thought I could.

This just makes Logan look more nervous. He runs his hand over his blond hair and stares up at the ceiling as he rubs his neck. Byron on the other hand stands with his arms folded, his grey eyes glaring at us as the light from outside makes his bald head shine.

“Calm down, Logan. We won’t give you any trouble, I swear,” Sasha says in her put-on innocent voice. “But can you go outside while we get out of bed and get dressed?” Oh, geez, she’s even batting her eyelashes.

“Uh … I don’t know, is that allowed?” Logan asks, his voice shaking like he’s unsure of himself.

“Well, they’re not paying you to watch us undress, you perv,” I say, rattling him even more.

“You take the terrace door, I’ll take this one,” Byron says professionally.

Logan heads towards the door that opens up to the pool area. When they’re both gone, and the doors are closed, I start to get out of bed when Sasha stops me. “If we’re going to get out, we need to do it while these two imbeciles are watching over us. Before they hire professionals.” Her voice is quiet but urgent.

I shake my head. “This needs planning. We can’t just wing it.”

“What do you suggest we do?” she yells, but still in a whisper.

Throwing my hands up in the air, I shake my head at her. “I don’t know,” I whisper-yell back.

I put my head in my hands, the hopelessness of our situation almost causing me to break.

“If I could get in contact with my family …”

“Aren’t you, like, fighting with them?”

Sighing, I nod. “Yeah, but I also know they’d be there for me if I really needed it. I’ve always known that.”

“That must’ve been nice, growing up in that type of environment.” I don’t miss the longing in her voice.

“Yeah,” I admit. “It was.”

I grew up in the most supportive home anyone could’ve asked for. I had the stereotypical annoying younger brother, the adoring baby sister, and two parents who gave me love. All they wanted to do was protect me and give me everything I wanted. And I threw it away like it was nothing. Sasha barely had a single parental figure and has grown up on her own. She makes the best of her crappy situation, and mostly without complaint.

In this moment, my respect and admiration for Sasha grows.

***

“Eager to get back to it already?” Ryker says, entering the training room. He throws his gym bag on the ground and takes his shirt off, eager to get back into training.

“Not eager, forced,” I reply flatly.

My wrist is still in a cast, my ribs are still broken—and will be for another three weeks according to the doctors—yet, here I am in the training room because Jonas needs me to be ready the minute my cast comes off.

Byron stands at the entrance to the room, his face devoid of any emotion. He’s good at his job, never letting me out of his sight and definitely not allowing me any wiggle room. It’s only been a week so far, but the guy barely even talks to me, just grunts one-word answers all the time.

“New wall decoration?” Ryker asks.

“Replacement.”

“So it’s true? Brett’s really …”

“Gone.” I lean in and whisper, “But not dead like Drake.”

Ryker’s jaw drops. I nod at him as my eyes fill with tears, but I refuse to let them spill over. That is, until Ryker hugs me. There’s no stopping them after that.

“Sasha and I really need your help here,” I whisper so quietly I’m unsure if he heard it all.

“So, ready to get to it?” he asks, pulling away from me and acting completely normal as if he didn’t hear me.

“Oh … okay.”

Byron starts grabbing onto his stomach like he’s in pain. He nods to Ryker. “Can you watch her for a minute? Don’t let her go anywhere?” His voice is strained. “I just need to go to the bathroom real quick.”

“No problem,” Ryker says with a casual shrug. Once Byron leaves, Ryker turns to me. “Okay, you’ve only got a few minutes. Spill.”

“Did you just—”

“Yes, and it’s only going to take him a few minutes to realise his bowel isn’t exploding like I made him think it was going to.”

“Nice.”

“Nuka, what’s going on?”

I explain as quickly and as briefly as I can. I tell him about Brett leaving, Drake dying, my changed contract, and the fact that Sasha and I are now trapped here.

“What do you need me to do?”

“I need to get in contact with my adoptive family on the outside, but I don’t know how I can go about it, and I can’t get you to do it directly. Drake barely had anything to do with Brett leaving, and it cost him his life, just because they couldn’t use him like they can me. They killed
him
to punish
me
. If you get involved …”

Ryker nods, but I see the Adam’s apple in his throat bob nervously. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Aren’t you two meant to be training?” Byron barks, re-entering the room.

And with that, Ryker starts with the head games, and I go about trying to find a way to block him out.

“Wait,” I exclaim. “I need to get ready for it. I’m already in enough pain without adding your imaginary crap to it.”

Closing my eyes, I breathe in deep and imagine Declan’s face like I have so many other times while fighting Ryker. The only problem is his face keeps morphing into Brett’s, and that certainly isn’t going to help keep the pain at bay. If anything, it’ll make it worse.

“Nuka?” Ryker pulls me out of my failing trance.

“Yeah?” I ask, opening my eyes.

“How about we start with some weights. We’ll go slow.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

***

“Still nothing?” I ask.

Ryker shakes his head. “Sorry. They’re not calling me back.”

He’s been trying to get a hold of my family for me, but with no luck. He says he’s left two messages for them on their phone but hasn’t heard back. He can’t leave a detailed voicemail, and I’m wondering if Lia and Jayce are ignoring him because they don’t know who Ryker is or what he could want. He’s too paranoid about mentioning my name over the phone, which is understandable considering where Drake is right now. We can’t risk Cade and Jonas finding out—I won’t let Ryker put himself in danger like that. It’s not worth risking Ryker that way.

“I’m sorry I’m not helping you. Short of going to their house, I’ve tried. I swear.”

I reassuringly place my hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay. I knew it’d be a long shot, and I don’t want you going to their house in case they have you followed or something. I wouldn’t put it past them.”

His eyes go wide.

“I’m not saying you
are
being followed … but, it’s better to be safe than sorry, right? I’ll get to my family another way. My uncle said he was going to call me in for an official Immune assessment, but that was well over a month ago now. We just have to hope that he calls on me soon. It’s probably the only chance for Sasha and me to get out of here.”

“How’s Sasha holding up?”

“Not great.”

Drake still haunts us. Sasha and I have taken up Brett’s room now, neither one of us comfortable being alone in the house. While I train, she studies to become a bookie, and apart from that, we don’t leave each other’s sides.

I recently found out it was always Jonas’s plan to make Sasha a bookie. He realised when she was younger that she had a high understanding of maths, so he’s been grooming her for the position ever since.

She told me she had a deal with Jonas that she could finish high school before becoming his slave. She also told me that she actually finished high school months ago and she’s taken up a few uni courses since then—unbeknownst to Cade and Jonas. She’s doing it by correspondence, so she’s been able to pass off her studying as her home schooling.

But now, because of me, she’s just like the rest of us. Owned.

We’re not allowed visitors, and the only person I’m permitted to see is Ryker. Cade has shunned Sasha just as much as she has me, and in a way, it’s made Sasha and me even closer. But it’s affecting Sasha—I can tell, even though she’s trying to hide it.

Cade may not be a great mum, but she’s the only one Sasha’s ever had, and losing Cade has done something to her.

“She seems to be running on survival instincts, almost like she’s a robot. She does what they tell her to, but I can tell she’s struggling.”

“It’s got to be hard on her. I know Drake and her were close.”

I nod, not really knowing how to explain just how close they were.

Logan comes back into the training room at that moment, resuming his position near the door.

Ryker and I go back to training, and I whisper in his ear, “If you keep giving them bathroom issues every time we need to talk, they’ll start getting suspicious.”

“Please, they’re both too dumb to put two and two together,” he whispers back. “Okay,” he says louder so Logan can hear. “I’ve gone pretty easy on you so far. Now you have your cast off, and your first fight is in a few days, this is really our last chance to push you. You ready?”