Losing Virginity (29 page)

“Do
you want to hear this or not?”

I
gave her a big smile. “Yes, of course. I’ll stop.” I should have said no.

The
man she had met was the Vice President of Harley-Davidson. He had just struck
up a conversation with Jess about some marketing ideas and she starts spouting
things she likes and doesn’t like about commercials on television and ads in
her magazines. Then, they started talking about motorcycles. And the next thing
she knows he’s giving her his card and telling her to come in and meet with his
associate who was looking for an assistant.

“You’re
looking at the Junior Associate to the Vice President of Marketing at
Harley-Davidson!”

“What?”

“Yeah.
I start a week
after graduation. They are flying me out
there,
they’ll put me up until I find an apartment. I get free bike lessons and a
special rate when I’m ready to buy my own custom HOG! Is that great or what?”

“Flying
you out there? Where are you going?”

“Oh,
well, Wisconsin. That is where the headquarters is. I’ll be a cheese head.
Isn’t that the living end?”

About
a week later I found out Alex had left We Can Do It! without as much as a
good-bye or kiss-my-ass and moved to Los Angeles. He was “discovered” by some
acting scout who saw him at the Pakistani bodega two miles off campus. The only
reason he was there was because he had a huge crush on one of the stock
boys.
 
The scout only stopped in that
particular place because she knew she could get a bottle of Yoo-Hoo there.
Apparently, her cousin had grown-up in this area of the east coast but moved to
California. California is a Yoo-hoo-less part of the country.

Regardless,
Alex gets to play a secret love interest to some woman going through menopause.
I don’t know if the story line sounds more ridiculous or Alex playing a
straight dude. I don’t even know if Alex has ever acted a day in his life.
Wait… What am I saying? He’s the original drama queen and the whole world is
his stage.

If
that isn’t discouraging enough, Veronica was going with him. He convinced the
scout that she was his nutritionist. This is the same duo that would share
ice-cream sandwiches and Wendy’s chili for breakfast.

Even
the girls at Houston Hose were hitting the big time. Sasha didn’t even have to
send her resume or transcripts out. She had three finance think tanks approach
her hoping she would share her brilliant financial ideas with them for a stint
of two years in New York City.
 
Karen,
who was high every time I saw her no matter what time of day or night decided
to fly the coop and joined the Peace Corp. She’d be leaving for Haiti the day
after she had her diploma in her hand. She couldn’t wait.

Then
there was me. I worked my ass of for almost four years now and the only major
accomplishment under my belt was losing what was under my belt. I couldn’t
explain it but I felt like the biggest failure. I wanted to be happy for my friends
and look at the bright side but my gut just wouldn’t come out of the knots it
was tangled into.

………

I
went to Big Stick’s apartment unannounced because I wanted to surprise him
since he had just gotten back from his trip to Australia. I took a single white
carnation in my hand. I knocked on the door hoping he’d be happy to see me.
Inside, I heard a few voices. One was his and one was a female. My heart just
sank. Was he cheating on me? I wanted to turn and run and just as I was about
to the door opened. He looked at me like I was a Jehovah Witness peddling
Watchtower pamphlets. So I took a deep breath.

“Hi,
I’m sorry to come by without calling first.” He didn’t even step aside to let
me come in. He stood in the door so I couldn’t see in and anyone inside
couldn’t see me standing there. That was probably for the best. I had to look
ridiculous. Extending my hand with the flower, I continued with what I had
rehearsed for fifteen minutes on the way to his place. “I love you and I want
to move in together.”

He
took the flower but his face remained expressionless.

“Look,
Olivia. I appreciate your stopping by. I think we should talk about this but
not right now...
But…
Well, I ‘m a little busy right
now. I’ll have to talk to you later.”

“Do
you have company?” I asked, not able to control the tears in my eyes. He didn’t
even blink.

“Yes,
can we talk later?”

I
shook my head and ran off down the hallway. I swallowed my pride, ate crow,
came back on my knees practically, and this was what I got for my efforts. I never
felt more humiliated in my whole life. Back at the apartment I spilled my guts.
I told Jess everything. I told the girls at Houston House while cooking and
eating four different pies. Then I told my mom. She was the only one who
surprised me.

“Well,
honey. Sometimes if you love something you have to let it go. And if it doesn’t
come back to you, it was never yours to begin with.”

She
missed her calling as a Hallmark card writer or perhaps creating fortune cookie
fortunes.

………

The
night before graduation was insanity.
 
There were parties everywhere. I followed Jess to one of the Frats’ for
old time sake. We had some jungle juice and I told her I would visit her in
Wisconsin as long as it was in the summer. I hear Wisconsin winters can suck.
She agreed and then proceeded to find two
studly
frat
boys who were more than interested in helping me get over my broken heart. As
usual, I left the party early and found my way to the park bench Big Stick and
I had shared on our second date. I sat quietly and looked around. The air was
warm and all the sounds of the people and music brought me back to the
debutants ball and making love with Big Stick in his car. My heart hurt but I
wished him the best in my mind and wiped away one tear that managed to sneak
out of the corner of my eye. Besides, tomorrow was graduation and whether I had
a gig or not, I did have a future. I just didn’t know what it was going to hold
for me.

“Hi.”

I
jumped and reached for my purse. College campuses weren’t always known for
their safety so I had my mace in my hand before I could say ‘Amen’ and was
ready to defend my own honor. But, I let out a deep breath as I saw a familiar
silhouette.

“What
are you doing here?
I almost
maced
you.”

“I
lost something and I was retracing my steps hoping I might find it.”

“Did
you find it?” I asked, starting to tear up.

“Yeah.
I had come to
this park about three years ago. I thought it was a long shot but, thankfully,
here it is. Whew! I thought I had lost my heart forever.”

Big
Stick came and stood right in front of me. Looking up at him I just started to
cry.

He
took a deep breath. “I do need to tell you something. That night you stopped
by, my ex-girlfriend was over.”

It
felt like all the oxygen had suddenly left the park. I couldn’t breathe. My
mind stopped thinking and I waited for the hammer to come down right on top of
me.

“Her
husband is a jeweler. I needed her help picking this out.” He placed a little
velvet box in my hand.

“After
I talked to your parents I spoke with her and…”

“What?
You spoke to my parents?”

“Well,
of course. I had to ask for their blessing. How do people normally propose?”

Shaking
my head I didn’t even know what to say. Again, it felt like there was no oxygen
and my brain was completely shut down.

“Are
you going to open it?” I opened the box. I couldn’t tell you what it looked
like at that moment. It didn’t matter. What I said mattered. “Yes… I do Big
Stick…”