Lost (5 page)

The view was a breathtaking panorama of water, forest and
freedom, everything I missed from Hundred Mile. There wasn’t a
source of unnatural light anywhere, only the crystal-clear stars on
a velvety black backdrop.

The moon stood out starkly, just touching the tips of the
trees that lined the mountains. The waves swished over and over
again against the rocky shore, lulling and reliable in a world that
wasn’t as right as it was yesterday.

“
This is your house?” I asked.

“
One of them.” Loren smiled serenely. “Do you like it? I
figured you'd prefer this one more than my apartment in
Surrey.”

“
You figured right, but you always do.” I remembered all the
times in the past when he'd so aptly judged my moods. I’d always
wondered why he was so attentive, especially when all of the other
purebloods gave me wide birth—a disheartening realization on my
part.

“
I’ve always tried to do right by you,” Loren admitted. “I
wanted to take you from him, just pluck you away. But I always
stopped myself to let you make your own choices, never doing
anything to sway the decision because you were already
his.”

His
words were heartfelt, even if totally unexpected.

“
I feel like I have no time left, that any minute you will ask
to go back to him,” he whispered.

I doubted I would’ve been more surprised if he'd pulled a
dolphin out of his ass.

I felt Loren gently poking around my mind—almost a constant
sensation now—judging my moods and sharing in my strange,
hundred-mile per hour thoughts.

Loren chuckled, it rapidly becoming a belly roll. “You think
the funniest things. I’ve never met another with a sense of humour
quite as warped as yours.”

“
Yeah,” I snorted, “they broke the mould when they made
me.”

“
That’s very true, and why I’m falling in love with you. I’ve
tried so hard not to let it happen, but it has. Until tonight,
until his stupidity, I refrained from doing or saying anything. But
now he’s fucked up, and I won’t hesitate to take you from him, if
you’ll let me.”

I found
myself wanting to defend Gene, but I couldn’t find it in myself to
utter the words, regardless of how false they may be. I felt
heartsick, but I was just as much at fault.

“
No, you’re not,” Loren snarled, confirming my thoughts. His
viciousness sent a tremor through me.

I
started to reply, but he pressed a finger against my
lips.

“
Don’t. Give me this night, and forget him for these few hours
the bastard so foolishly gave me,” Loren said harshly. “Tomorrow,
we can discuss this more at length.”

“
Okay.”

I didn’t
want to think about it any further, but the clock wasn’t ticking
for me.

Gene and I were over. For good or bad, there wasn’t anything
to do in fixing something that had been broken almost from the
beginning. I’d just been too blind to see it.

There
was one worry among many that stayed prominent. I really hoped my
friends and family didn’t hate me for this.

“
They won’t shun you,” Loren promised.

“
How do you know?”

“
Mostly because I won’t let them,” Loren snickered, but we
both knew he had more than sufficient power to get his way if he
wanted something bad enough, despite common restrictions to the
majority of us.

I was
lost, and I didn’t know how to act, or what to say.

“
Don’t think about him.” Loren growled.

I rolled my eyes, but I felt there was something he was
burning to ask. He watched me too closely now. Judging me
perhaps?

“
I never judge you.”

“
Then what is it?”

He shook
his head as if he were denying something. “It doesn’t
matter.”

“
There’s something you want to know and since you always know
what I’m thinking, it makes me curious.”

“
Fine then.” He turned away from me, carefully guarded,
diverting his eyes. “Could you ever love me?”

If I
hadn’t watched his lips mouth the words, I would’ve thought I
hadn’t heard him correctly.

What was
I supposed to say to that?

Chapter Four

When I tried to put what I felt into words, my mind drew a
blank. No matter how much my heart fluttered and my stomach tied in
knots, it was the wrong time.

In my life, I’d always rushed into decisions, but now, I was
growing up. It was a little belated, but better late than never. I
was tired of getting burned by my own actions as well as other’s.
I’d make damned sure to know what I was doing, before proceeding
with anything big or life altering.

Like
falling in love.

However,
what I said next was with the utmost confidence, brightly outlined
for me in a sea of drab, endless desolation.

“
I want to make you happy,” I said finally.

“
Trust me. I’m very happy right now.” Loren’s deep brown eyes
warmed. They hid so much more I hadn’t understood yet, but this
only formed a new goal.

I’d figure him out—what made this closed-up brooding man
tick.

“
You know I have a huge crush on you,” I admitted, just so he
wasn’t the only one confessing. As if he hadn’t known. His sinful
lips just widened into a full smile.

“
It made it so much harder for me,” he
insisted, “to know when we were being only friends; I could just
lean forward to kiss you. Your reaction would be
instant
. You might’ve
felt guilty about it later, but for that moment you would let me do
whatever I wanted.”

“
Why didn’t you then?”

“
I never wanted you to regret your time with me. I also knew
you could’ve gone either way.”

My lashes weighted as I blinked, picking up the tears
swimming in my eyes. I wiped at them impatiently. I was so totally
turning into a girl. I’d cried more in the past few hours, than in
more than ten years.

“
You’re just showing real emotion, instead of hiding what
you’re really feeling, no matter how useless that is to you when
you’re around us. I admire your façade and your strength in equal
measure, but right now I crave your true self, not what you present
to the rest of the world.”

He led me into an incredibly plush master bedroom, four times
the size of my own in Marcus’s much smaller scaled three-bedroom
rancher.

Soft light from the old fashioned candle wall-scones
flickered over the predominantly white and deep blue
space.

The room was filled with bleached wooden furniture. The scent
of pine permeated the walls, mixing with the subtle fragrance of
vanilla. Outside, the treetops reached for the horizon.

“
Are we still in Canada?” I asked.

“
Yes. In fact we’re still in British Columbia, but far closer
to your old home now. I was curious about why you missed it so
much, and bought this place a few months ago.” Loren chuckled. “I
prefer solitude. It reminds me of the old days when the Foxworth
Coven was the only group of vampires anywhere near here. We lived
in the completely undeveloped lands of Surrey, undisturbed by so
few Rogues,”—vampires who fly under the radar, breaking our
laws—“Who would ever dare to flee here.”

I
laughed. “You totally sound like a caveman.”

“
And how am I any better?” He kissed my temple. “I just stole
you away to my lair, where I have full intention of making you
scream.”

I loved
the wicked note in his voice, and hoped to I hear more of
it.

“
Why do you have to tempt me so much?” I asked. “You are sin
incarnate.”

“
I need to see the desire for me in your eyes. You know, the
only reason I attend those parties, is only to be inside of
you.”

“
I’ve seen you with others.” I smacked his shoulder
playfully.

“
I have needs, more than what little time I was permitted with
you could harness. But trust me, you were always in my sight, your
name was always on my lips.” Loren stopped talking, and kissed me
fiercely.

His muscles rolled under his sizzling flesh, his fever
infecting me. He released me, and I staggered against him. I fought
for breath.

“
That sounds pretty corny.” I mumbled.

“
But, it’s the truth,” he insisted softly.

“
As weird as it is, I believe you,” I replied when he laid me
on the thick white and blue down comforter. He climbed the high
mattress, crawling over the rich softness, and sprawled out beside
me. His sheathed cock brushed my hip, long and achingly
hard.

He rolled, encasing me underneath his taunt upper body
crawled, his weight delicious, trapping me between his
forearms.

“
I could kiss you all night,” Loren whispered against my lips.
He was so close, but not nearly enough to appease my unreasonable
need of him. “I used to imagine doing just that.”

I pressed my mouth against his, needing to devour him the way
he did me. Loren rolled again, taking me with him, so I sprawled
across him. He was unusually gentle with me, taking his time until
I was moving restlessly, but I couldn’t incite him to
rush.

Through
impossible odds, I relaxed and found my body slowing to his speed
while his hands skimmed my back, down my spine and up
again.

“
Loren?” I asked hesitantly.

“
What, my love?”

“
Do you truly want me, or is this just because Gene had
me?”

“
Sara, I truly and completely
need
you. It’s not a
want any longer, and hasn’t been for a long time,” he confessed,
and kissed the tip of my nose. “If I could’ve taken you sooner, I
would have.”

“
What, so no more sex with others?” I joked. I always had when
I was nervous. Particularly about commitment. Commitment to
another, who’d have the power to break me in the worst way
possible.

“
I loved watching you get fucked.” He growled. “That doesn’t
bother me. Its just sex. A game even. But when it’s just us,
there’s an enormous difference.”

I nodded in understanding. For me, there
was a
distinct
difference between an act of sex, and something more, full of
depth and emotion attaching you to another person. There were rules
to be followed, but they were individual to that person, or the
couple involved. Communication was a key-factor and that more than
anything else was what went wrong with Gene and
I.

“
You know what being pureblood means for us.
How much more we feel than you do. I wish I could make you
understand how you completely captivate me. Such as how when you
enter a room, everything else stops. I cease to listen when others
talk to me, and try to listen when you speak to others,” he
continued unabashed. “I’ve never done these things for
anyone
else. And I don’t
understand why I do half of them, but there is no stopping
it.”

“
It doesn’t make sense to me either.”

“
You don't believe I feel this way for you,” he
mused..

“
Think about it.”

His brow cocked.

I growled, “I mean really think about it. Look at the
differences between us for instance.”

“
What differences?”

“
Well look at you!” My hand waved towards him. “You’re
gorgeous.”

“
So are you,” he replied without hesitation.

That was pushing it. I rolled my eyes. “Uh huh. Okay
fine…you’re a CEO for a company. And I’m a waitress at a fetish
club.”

“
Those are our human covers. That’s all. We are fulfilling the
requirements set by our Covens. In my mind, that gives us even more
in common.”

I snorted, “Right. You’re rich, and
prominent. You’re known to date beautiful
regal
women.” I grimaced. “I’m so
not anything like them.”

He
cleared his throat. “Cover.”

“
What?”

“
Just because I was seen with them, doesn’t mean that’s what I
want. They were vampires in my Coven, and it was only because my
business associates considered it odd that I never made a move to
settle down with anyone. Gregory thought it best if I appeased
those human-aped traditions.”

“
So you never actually dated them?”

“
Well…” His smile turned wicked. “Does fucking them
count?”

“
No.” I laughed.

“
See, now you’re running out of points to make. Why don’t you
just retract the statement?”

“
I’m a weird outcast who runs around killing outlaw vampires
more than I do anything else, well other than work for Corrine,” I
argued. “In a place that would make those business associates
cringe.”

“
You are proficient at hunting, and I can actually have an at
length conversation with you on the subject.” He smiled, like this
meant a lot to him. “And since when did I start caring what anyone
else thought?”