To keep himself occupied, he went onto the patio and turned on the lights. The garden he and Dana had planted was flourishing, and it gave him peace to look at it. Mostly it was filled with winter flowers now. Pansies, sweet alyssum and pinks grew in abundance, making a colorful and fragrant display. The pinks were his favorite, a type of carnation with serrated edges that looked as if they’d been cut with pinking shears—hence the name. He’d learned details about them from Dana. He’d learned a lot from his young wife.
A short while later, Eric headed for the nursery and gazed at the animals. He was certain that each and every one of them was going to protect the baby. He believed that St. Jude was part of the deal, too. They had lovingly framed the bookmark and hung it on the wall.
The crib had been ready for what seemed like forever, made up with soft blue sheets and a fluffy comforter. Everything was ready for Jude’s arrival. The dresser contained his sleepers and the changing table was stocked with diapers and lotion and powder. Even his car seat and stroller waited idly by. So did an infant swing that Eric had put together just this week. He walked over to it and turned it on, imagining Jude rocking inside it, drifting into a sweet abyss.
He recalled feeling this way when he and Corrine had prepared for Kaley. Only they’d been scared at times, hoping and praying that the birth mother didn’t change her mind and keep the baby. Adoption was frightening in that way.
But it had worked out beautifully, right up to Kaley’s relationship with Ryan and Victoria now.
He shut down the nursery and joined his wife in bed, cautious not to disturb her.
* * *
In the morning, she woke him up with a quick shake and a big grin, “Guess what, papa? My water broke.”
He sat up so fast, the room nearly spun. “Did you call the doctor?”
She nodded. “We need to go to the hospital.”
The hospital. Yes. He knew that. He jumped out of bed and threw on his clothes. Dana looked far too calm for a woman who was having a baby. She was already ready to leave the house. She’d even changed into a dry dress, a yellow cotton frock with heart-shaped buttons. She was like the sun on a magical day, with her cheery outfit and hair in a ponytail.
Eric tried to stay calm, too, but he was just so darn nervous. Jude was on his way. “Have you had any contractions yet?”
“No, but for some women the pain doesn’t start right away. It could be up to an hour before it happens.”
He hoped that was how it happened for her. They would be at the hospital way before then.
He helped her into the car, put her prepacked bag in the trunk and backed out of the driveway. On the main highway, they got caught in traffic.
He said, “I always figured we’d be doing this in the middle of the night.”
“Instead of during everyone else’s work commute? Don’t worry about it, Eric. We’ll get there.” She laughed a little. “You’re gripping the steering wheel like an old man.”
“I am an old man, and I have precious cargo on board.” When they stopped at a red light, he reached for her hand. “I love you, Dana.”
She graced him with a smile. “I love you, too.”
“I wish the hospital was closer.”
“It’s not that far.”
“It’s far enough.” Especially since some of the other drivers weren’t focused on the road. The guy behind them was drinking what appeared to be takeout coffee and the woman next to them looked as if she might be sneaking in a text. All Eric wanted to do was get to their destination.
The light changed and he crossed the intersection. The next light they came to was yellow. Eric slowed down, preparing to stop.
Then suddenly...
Boom!
Coffee Guy didn’t hit his breaks in time and rammed straight into the back of Eric and Dana’s car. The impact wasn’t strong enough to deploy the airbags, but it was still a whiplash-type jolt and the most frightening moment of Eric’s life.
He quickly looked over at Dana.
“I’m all right,” she said.
Was she? She looked pale and frightened, too.
Behind them, Coffee Guy was motioning to pull over to the side of the road to exchange insurance information, obviously trying to do the right thing.
Eric waved him away. They didn’t have time for that. He looked at Dana again, and she was even paler than before and making a terrible face.
“You’re not all right,” he said, his heart lodging in his throat.
“Yes, I am. It’s just that I think the accident triggered my labor. Or maybe my pains would have started, anyway.”
“I should forget trying to get you to the hospital myself and call an ambulance.”
“Really, I’m okay.”
“I’m calling for help.” He pulled over. Coffee Guy pulled over, as well, probably assuming that Eric had changed his mind about exchanging information.
“This isn’t necessary,” Dana said.
“Yes, it is.” He dialed 9-1-1 and told them that he and his pregnant wife were on the way to the hospital and had been in an accident. He explained that her water had already broken and that—
She was bleeding. Somewhere between the beginning of the phone call and her telling him that she was okay, she’d begun to bleed. Bright red all over her yellow dress.
Panicked, he screamed into the phone. Dana was doubled over in pain. By this time, Coffee Guy was standing at the driver’s side window, staring in at them.
Eric reached for his wife and held on to her shoulders. She buried her face against his neck, and in a raspy, pain-induced voice, she told him, “We’re going to make it. We will, I promise.”
We
. Her and Jude.
“Of course you will,” he replied, so damned afraid that they were going to die.
Dana didn’t speak after that. She was too weak to talk.
The ambulance arrived quickly. Eric hadn’t quit shaking. He rode with Dana while the MTs treated her. She was losing too much blood and needed a transfusion. Her vital signs were weak. The baby was in distress, too. The love of Eric’s life was fading away and so was their son.
Chapter Fourteen
A
t the hospital Dana was rushed into emergency surgery and Eric was left to wait. Trauma from the accident had caused placental abruption, where the placenta had separated from the womb.
Numb, he stared at the walls. Then he thought about Kaley. He was supposed to call her when Dana went into labor. But how could he call his precious daughter and tell her that Dana and Jude were fighting for their lives?
Eric wanted to curse the Creator. He wanted to curse the man who’d been drinking his stupid coffee. He wanted to curse the entire world and everyone in it.
He couldn’t do this again. He couldn’t lose another wife. Or a child. Or anyone else he loved.
But he wasn’t going to lose them, he told himself. Dana had promised him that she and Jude would make it. She’d clung to him and promised, and he had to believe her. He
had
to.
Instead of cursing anyone, Eric said a Cherokee prayer. He spoke to St. Jude, too. He even called upon the animals that protected Dana and Jude. And lastly, he asked Corrine to help if she could.
Finally, he summoned the strength to call Kaley and relay the news.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” she said, her voice quavering. “And I’ll call Candy. She’ll want to be there, too.”
Kaley and Candy arrived at nearly the same time. Kaley rushed into his arms and burst into tears. He stroked a hand down her hair.
“It will be okay,” he told her.
“Mom used to say that.”
“I know. But this time, it will be.”
“Aren’t you scared, Dad?”
“I’m petrified, baby girl. But I can’t let that fear control me. Dana wouldn’t want me to.” He looked past Kaley and met Candy’s gaze. She looked like a lost soul, too.
Eric was the strongest of all of them. But that was his role as a man, as a husband and father, as the head of the family. He had to stay strong for everyone, including himself.
He released Kaley and hugged Candy. Afterward the three of them sat side by side. Time ticked by. Kaley kept tearing up. His daughter wasn’t doing well.
She said to Candy, “I hated hospitals after my mom died. She passed away in a cancer ward, and I only associated hospitals with pain. Then I met my birth parents and discovered that Victoria had a bad experience with hospitals, too.” Kaley explained what Candy probably already knew. “When I was born, Ryan never came to see her like he was supposed to, and all she remembered was me being taken away by the adoption agency and her being alone.” The teen continued, “So when I was in Oregon the first time, I suggested that Ryan and Victoria take me to the hospital where I was born so we could all have a new experience.”
“Did it help?” Candy asked.
“Yes. It did. But now this reminds me of when Mom died.” She glanced over at Eric. She was tearing up again. “I’m so sorry, Dad. I’m really trying to not feel that way.”
He put his arm around her. He knew she was struggling to be brave. “You don’t have to wait around here if you can’t handle it. I’ll call you when we hear something.”
“Oh, no. I could never leave. Never. I just wished they would hurry up. I want to see Dana and my brother. I want them to be all right.”
Suddenly an image of Dana in the car flashed in Eric’s mind. Holding her while she shivered, her body contorting in pain, the blood soaking the front of her dress.
He closed his eyes, but the crimson stain wouldn’t go away. What if she didn’t survive? What if he lost Dana? And what if little Jude perished with her?
“Does anyone want coffee?” Candy asked.
Eric opened his eyes, his breath catching hard and quick. But the images just kept coming. Coffee Guy ramming his car into them. Coffee Guy staring at Dana in horror. Candy and Kaley didn’t know the details of the accident, and Eric couldn’t bear to tell them.
“Nothing for me,” he said. His strength was faltering, like Samson getting his hair shorn. Eric even dragged a hand through his own hair.
“I’ll take a cup of hot chocolate,” Kaley said.
“I’ll get it for you.” Candy headed for the nearest vending machine, obviously needing to be useful.
Kaley said, “I wish I could control my fear, Dad. I wish I could be more like you.”
He pulled himself together. No more blood-soaked images. No more what-ifs. His daughter was counting on him for hope. True, heartfelt hope. “I grieved too long and too hard for your mom. I grieved before she was even gone, refusing to listen when she encouraged me to love someone else someday. And now that I do love someone else, I’m not giving up. And neither are you. We’ll hang on together, like a family should.”
“I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you, too. You’re my grown-up girl.” A beautiful young woman with a beautiful life ahead of her. “You convinced me that I was meant to marry Dana and have a child with her. You helped me come to terms with the past and embrace my future with you and Dana and baby Jude.”
Candy returned with Kaley’s hot chocolate. Then she said to Eric, “Are you sure I can’t get you anything?”
“Actually, if you don’t mind, I’ll take that coffee now. Cream, no sugar.”
“Coming right up.” Once again, Candy seemed grateful to keep busy.
After she brought Eric his coffee, he thanked her and she resumed her seat. He took a sip and thought about all of the wonderful things he and Dana had shared so far. He made damned sure that this coffee, the one he was drinking now, and every cup thereafter, would be associated with love and happiness.
He wasn’t going to let anything stand in the way of his belief that Dana and Jude would be coming home to him.
“I’ll be right back,” he told Kaley and Candy.
Eric took the elevator to the first floor, where the gift shop was, hoping to find items that were meaningful. Mostly they had flowers, balloons, stuffed toys and books, but he also noticed a small case of fourteen-carat gold jewelry.
He bought a bracelet for his wife, with a “Mom” charm to go with it. He purchased the same bracelet for Kaley and Candy, but with different charms. Kaley’s said “Sister” and Candy’s said “Friend.” For Jude he found a dolphin-shaped nightlight for the nursery.
He went back to the waiting area and gave Kaley and Candy their bracelets. Both women got teary-eyed, particularly when he showed them Dana’s.
“As soon as they let me see her,” he said, “I’m going to put it on her wrist.” He removed the nightlight from the bag. “And this is for the baby’s room.”
“That’s perfect, Dad.” Kaley leaned against his shoulder, then told Candy, “In Cherokee tradition, dolphin represents the sacredness of life.”
Candy reached for the nightlight and examined the design. “It’s beautiful. And very fitting.” She returned it to Eric.
He took the dolphin and tucked it back into the bag, with the old adage “Where there’s life, there’s hope” swirling in his mind.
* * *
Dana’s doctor, still dressed in his scrubs, appeared in the distance, and Eric and the girls jumped up. But then Kaley stalled, obviously afraid to move forward.
Eric remembered how desperately she’d cried when her mother had died. That picture of his sweet little eleven-year-old daughter would be forever embedded in his mind. Her grief. Her pain.
He took her hand, showing her the way. The surgeon was coming toward them with a confident stride. The news had to be good.
The news was wonderful. There were no further complications. Dana was doing well and so was the baby. She was in recovery and Jude was in the nursery. Later, both mother and child would be taken to a semi-private room. “The baby,” the doctor added with a smile, “is already the apple of his mother’s eye. She can’t quit talking about him. And he’s a big one. Nine pounds, six ounces. You’ve got yourself a strong, healthy son.”
Eric thanked the doctor with a handshake. He also thanked the Creator for answering his prayers.
While Kaley and Candy darted over to the nursery, Eric was ushered into the recovery room to see Dana.
It was a quiet area with patients resting in gurneys, each separated by a curtain. Dana was at the end of the row. He approached her with his heart in his hands. He loved her more than ever.
She looked exhausted from her ordeal, with shadows beneath her eyes and an IV drip attached to her arm. But to him, she was the most beautiful woman on earth. He sat beside her gurney, and she turned her head toward him. She smiled groggily and said, “Have you seen Jude?”
“Not yet. But I will just as soon I spend a few minutes with you. Kaley and Candy are at the nursery now, cooing over him, I’m sure.”
“He’s gorgeous. He looks like you, Eric. And like me, too. I’m so enamored with him. I can’t wait until I can hold him and never let go.”
He stroked her cheek, so damned grateful to be able to touch her. “Me, too.”
“I won’t be able to lift him right away because of the surgery. But I can still nurse him, as long as someone puts him in my arms. They assured me that my milk wouldn’t be affected by the medications they gave me.”
“I’ll put him in your arms. I’ll be there whenever you need me.” He reached for her hand. He loved her so much.
After a reflective moment, he added, “I stayed positive while you were in surgery. I followed your lead and believed that everything was going to be okay. I tried to keep Kaley and Candy from breaking down, too.”
“You’re my hero.”
And she was his. “I learned from the best.” He slipped the bracelet he’d bought her around her wrist and latched it. “It’s a charm bracelet that says ‘Mom.’ I bought it in the gift shop here at the hospital.” He told her about the matching jewelry he’d found for Kaley and Candy. He also showed her the nightlight for the baby’s room and explained the significance of it.
She touched the dolphin. “Now Jude has another protector. One that will shine for him at night.” She looked up at him. “Thank you for being my husband and for giving me a child.”
“I should be the one thanking you.” He kissed her, skimming his lips across hers and marveling in the warmth and softness. He could have kissed her for an eternity. “Rest well, and I’ll see you in your room later.”
She smiled her beautiful smile. “Go meet your son, Eric.”
“I’m on my way.” He kissed her again and whispered a soft, loving goodbye.
He took the corridor to the nursery and spotted Kaley and Candy at the glass window. Kaley waved him over.
“How’s Dana?” she quickly asked.
“She’s doing fine, and she wants me to meet my son.”
“There he is, Dad.” She proudly pointed to an infant in the front row.
Jude lay swaddled in a blue blanket in a clear bassinet. He had a cap of dark hair and a sweet little face.
Eric just stood there, staring at him, the way he’d stared at the monitor screen when he’d seen the baby inside Dana’s womb on the ultrasound.
Only he was here now, right here, on the other side of the glass. Eric lifted his hands and pressed both palms against the barrier. He understood what Dana meant about wanting to hold the baby and never let go.
Candy motioned to the nurse who was caring for the infants, letting her know that Jude’s daddy was here.
The nurse picked up the baby and brought him closer so Eric could get a better look at him.
“Isn’t he cool?” Kaley said.
“Yeah.” Eric grinned. “He’s the coolest.”
“Congratulations,” Candy said.
“Thank you.” He noticed that both she and Kaley had tears in their eyes. So did he, and Eric wasn’t prone to crying. But they were happy tears, and that was all that mattered.
The nurse put Jude back in his bassinette, and Eric imagined how warm and cozy the baby was going to feel in his arms.
He said to Kaley, “This is like when you first came into my life. The same overwhelming joy of becoming a parent.”
She leaned against his shoulder. “It’s the same feeling for me, only it’s the overwhelming joy of becoming a big sister.”
He put his arm around his daughter. “It’s such an immediate love.”
“That’s how family love is supposed to be.” She went philosophical. “This makes me appreciate how hard it was for Victoria to give me up after I was born, and how tough it was on Ryan for what he did, too. I understood it before, but I really understand it now.”
“You should call and let them know that Jude is here.”
“I’ll call right now.” She walked away and found a waiting room where she could sit and talk.
Candy moved to stand beside Eric, and he turned toward her. “You’ve been an amazing friend to my wife,” he said.
“She’s an amazing woman.”
“So are you.” He thought about her divorce and the baby she’d lost. “I never believed that I would find love and happiness again. But I did, and I hope you do, too.”
“Thank you. But I’m not ready to start over just yet.”
“I didn’t think I was ready, either.”
“I’ll keep that in mind if I ever meet anyone. But for now, just being Jude’s godmother is enough.”
“Dana couldn’t have chosen a better person for that role.”
“I’m honored to be part of your son’s life, Eric. He’s a lucky little boy to have you and Dana as his parents.”
“We’re lucky to have him. If he hadn’t been conceived, Dana and I wouldn’t have gotten married. He brought us together.” He laughed a little. “Him and Kaley. She was pretty persistent about the marriage.”
“You raised a strong-willed daughter. But she was falling apart when Dana was in surgery. So was I. It was just so difficult to bear the thought of something tragic happening.”
“That’s why I knew I couldn’t lose hope.” He turned to look at Jude again, to admire the baby he and Dana had created.
“Did you call Dana’s mother and grandmother? Do they know anything about what happened today?” Candy asked.
“Not yet.” He’d made a conscious choice not to call until Dana and Jude were out of danger. “I didn’t want to worry them, especially since they’re so far away. I wanted to wait until I got word that Dana and Jude were okay.”
“I can call them now if you’d like. I have their number programmed into my phone.”
“That would be great.” If Candy wanted to do the honor, he would let her. “Tell them I’ll talk to them in a few hours and let them know what room Dana is in once she’s out of recovery. And tell them how spectacular Jude is.”