Lost Daughters (26 page)

T
WO DAYS AFTER HER GRADUATION, LORETTA
TOLD
MAUREEN THAT SHE
was going to the Bahamas with forty of the kids who had graduated with her.

“You ain't goin' no place,” Maureen told her, giving her an exasperated look.

“What? Why not? Everybody else is goin'!” Loretta squawked.

“Because you didn't ask me if you could go.”

“Well, can I go, Mama? They are leavin' next week.”

“No,” Maureen said firmly.

Even though Loretta had the money to cover her travel expenses, and there would be several chaperones, Maureen still refused to let her go to the Bahamas. In addition to the fact that Loretta waited until the last minute to even mention the trip, Maureen didn't want to let her go because she was not going herself so that she could make sure Loretta didn't get drunk and act a fool. Maureen didn't want to trust her daughter in the care of chaperones she didn't know.

Loretta cried and begged, but Maureen still didn't give in. “Like I said, you ain't goin' no place, girl.”

“But I'm eighteen now! EIGHTEEN!” Loretta shouted as if she wanted the whole world to hear.

“I don't care if you are a hundred and eighteen. As long as you still livin' under my roof, you will do as I say,” Maureen stated. “The only time you've even been out of the state is with me. There is no way I'm goin' to let you go out of the country without me!” Maureen was adamant, so it didn't matter how much Loretta pouted; she still didn't give in. “You don't even have a passport,” Maureen pointed out.

“Yes, I do!” Loretta revealed.

“How did you get a passport without me knowin' about it?” Maureen gasped.

“Mel helped me get it. He is my daddy now, remember? I kept forgettin' to tell you about my passport.”

“That was thoughtful of Mel, but that's somethin' that you or him should have let me know about by now.”

“Mama, you've been so busy with that new job and gettin' acquainted with your sister and all that I didn't want to bother you with things that we can handle on our own. Mel saved the day.”

Mel “saved the day” again later that evening. He suggested that he and Maureen take Loretta to the Bahamas as a graduation present at the same time the other kids were going. He had a client who had a time-share there. He had told Mel that he could use it anytime he wanted. Mel wanted to get a few shots of some exotic locations to incorporate into his portfolio and do a little socializing with some client friends who were going to be in the Bahamas that same week. Maureen thought that that was a good idea and she agreed to go, but unfortunately the only days that the time-share was available was during Maureen's workdays. Since she had already taken off the time to go to Louisiana last month, she didn't want to request more time off again so soon.

“Loretta can spend time with her friends while I'm busy shooting, but I'm sure that I will still be able to keep an eye on her,” Mel insisted. “I'll make sure she stays out of trouble.”

“But, Mel, honey, what if you get too busy to keep up with her? She might run off with some of those other kids and get to drinkin' and doin' all kinds of crazy shit,” Maureen wailed. “Maybe even have sex again.”

“Baby, Loretta is my child as far as I am concerned. I will never be too busy to keep up with her. Besides, the main reason I want to go down there is for Loretta's benefit. My friends already know that, so they won't expect me to spend much time with them.”

“I don't know. The Bahamas is a foreign country and all. What if Lo'retta gets bitten by some strange island creature or somethin' and needs a blood transfusion from me?”

“Maureen, stop talking crazy,” Mel laughed.

“Well, maybe we can all go around Christmas when I have some vacation time comin'. Maybe we can invite Virgil, Corrine, and the folks from Louisiana to come with us,” Maureen suggested.

Mel couldn't have looked more disgusted if Maureen had suggested they drag along his dreaded family with them. “Maureen, be serious. Do you honestly think that Loretta would enjoy a trip like that? This is a special time in her life. She wants to go at the same time that her friends are going. She may not see some of these kids again for years. The whole point of the trip is so these kids can have one final blast together. I mean, you were young once. You know how it is.”

Maureen sighed. She knew when to quit fighting a losing battle. “All right, then. But don't be callin' me to complain if she cramps your style!”

Mel and Loretta started packing that same night.

 

Big Maureen enjoyed staying with Virgil, but she wanted to spend the last two days of her visit with Maureen in her apartment. Just getting to know each other better and trying to make up for all of the decades that they had already lost meant a lot to both of the Maureens.

Even though Maureen had known Big Maureen for only a short period of time, it seemed like she had known her for years. One reason was because Big Maureen reminded Maureen so much of Mama Ruby. If Maureen closed her eyes and just listened to Big Maureen speak, it would be like Mama Ruby was in the room with her. Big Maureen sounded that much like Mama Ruby.

“How come you didn't have no more children?” Big Maureen asked as she sat with Maureen in her living room on her next day off, which was that Thursday.

Maureen took her time responding. “I didn't want to have any more babies unless I was married. It was bad enough that I got pregnant when I was a young girl and didn't have a husband. I don't want my daughter to think havin' babies without a husband is a good thing to do.”

Big Maureen looked at the side of Maureen's head. “How come you didn't marry Lo'retta's daddy?”

“He was goin' to marry me,” Maureen lied. “But he passed . . .”

“Oh. Well, that's a shame. It's a shame he left you with just one child.”

“I had two. Lo'retta had a twin sister. Her name was Lo'raine. She fell in a lake and got drowned.”

“Great balls of fire. You poor thing you! Well, I hope you don't lose Lo'retta that way!”

“I don't think I'll ever have to worry about that happenin'. Lo'retta loves to go to the beach, but all she'll do is put on a bikini and stretch out on a towel to show off her shape. That girl won't go near the water. She won't even stick her big toe in the duck pond out at Johnson's Park,” Maureen said with a heavy sigh. “I wish . . . well, my husband doesn't really want kids, but I hope he will change his mind someday. After Lo'retta leaves home, maybe I'll work on him about that.”

“Someday soon, I hope. Don't put it off like I did. I wanted at least one more, but by the time I decided I was ready, Mother Nature had other plans for me. I had a lot of female problems some years ago and had to have my baby-makin' equipment removed.” Big Maureen wiped a tear from her eye. “I wanted to give Lukas at least one child. He got a few scattered around the state that he never got to know because the mamas never stayed in one spot long enough.”

“That's too bad. Mama Ruby was crazy about kids. She wanted a lot more than just me and Virgil and I . . .” Maureen stopped talking when she saw the unbearably sad look that suddenly appeared on Big Maureen's face. “Oh Lord. I didn't mean to remind you about Mama Ruby givin' you up. Me and my big mouth!”

“I don't hold no grudge against my mama for givin' me up. I probably would have done the same thing if I had been in her shoes. I had my first child when I was just sixteen, but I had a husband.”

“Let me ask you somethin'. Do you ever think about adoptin' a child?” Maureen asked.

Big Maureen quickly responded. “Every day! Me and Lukas been tryin' to do just that for years! But we ain't that young no more. The older we get, the less chances we have of that happenin', and that's a goddamn shame! Believe it or not, black folks ain't too quick to give up babies for adoption. Me and Lukas keep prayin', though. I would give anything in this world to raise just one more child.”

“I will pray for that to happen too,” Maureen said, giving Big Maureen a firm hug. “I just wish that Mama Ruby was still here to see what a fine daughter you grew up to be.”

“I feel her presence all the time,” Big Maureen said. “She's with me in spirit. Will you or Virgil take me to where she's buried so I can put some flowers on her grave? It's the least I can do.”

“I'd be happy to do that,” Maureen answered.

When she drove out to Virgil's house and told him that Big Maureen wanted to visit Mama Ruby's grave, he was all for it. “It's time for us to put some flowers on Mama Ruby's grave anyhow. This is good timin',” he told her.

Maureen blinked and remained silent.

“Now I know you probably think this is goin' to be hard on me and you now that you know . . . you know what. But it's somethin' Big Mo'reen needs to do. Mama Ruby was her mama too,” Virgil told Maureen, speaking in such a cautious manner he thought he was going to lose his breath.

“I know, but I was thinkin' about somethin' else.” Maureen swallowed hard and blinked even harder. “There's that other thing.”

One look at her eyes told Virgil what she was thinking. “Your real mama?”

Maureen nodded.

“Well, since Othella was your mama and Big Mo'reen's auntie,” he said, “I'm sure she'll want to put some flowers on her grave too.”

“All Big Mo'reen needs to know is that Othella was such a good friend of the family, we thought it would be nice to honor her too,” Maureen said.

T
HE DAY BEFORE BIG MAUREEN AND LUKAS LEFT FLORIDA, THEY WENT
with Maureen and Virgil to the cemetery to put some flowers on Mama Ruby's and Othella's graves.

Just being in this particular cemetery was enough to depress anybody. Some of the headstones had either been knocked over or had fallen over on their own. Dead leaves and other debris formed a carpet on the pathway that led from the road. The sky directly above seemed to be darker and gloomier than the sky beyond it on this particular day. A buzzard circled above.
Too late for a feast,
Maureen thought. Or was it? Mama Ruby had told her one time that when nobody was looking, dead people rose up out of their graves and carried on like they were still alive. Some of them didn't even know they were dead. Was Mama Ruby's spirit roaming around today? Maureen wondered. There was an empty beer can just a few feet from her grave, and everybody knew Mama Ruby had consumed at least a dozen cans of beer almost every day of her adult life. Maureen sighed and kicked the beer can off to the side.

“I would give anything in this world to have met my mama,” Big Maureen sobbed as she placed a dozen red roses on top of her mother's grave. “And Aunt Othella. It's so nice of y'all to be so thoughtful to include some flowers for her grave too.” Big Maureen wiped her tears with a handkerchief. “It's a shame that Lo'retta couldn't come with us, but I remember what havin' cramps was like. She need to stay off her feet. She don't want to get so sick she won't be able to go on the trip to them Bahamas in a few days.”

“Uh-huh,” Maureen mumbled. She didn't have the heart to tell Big Maureen that Loretta had decided years ago that it was “uncool” to put live flowers on a dead person's grave.

Mel had overheard Maureen's telephone conversation with Virgil about the cemetery visit, so when she invited him, he already had a believable bogus excuse not to go.

“It's a shame that Mel had to go do a shoot for one of his sick photographer buddies and couldn't come with us either,” Big Maureen lamented.

“Uh-huh,” Maureen said again. She was disappointed, too, that Mel hadn't come with them, but she never pestered him when it came to his work. Besides, he had told her a long time ago that he was superstitious about going to a cemetery before his time.

 

Immediately after the visit to the cemetery, they all went to Virgil's house. Corrine had roasted a duck for dinner and chilled several bottles of wine.

It had been a long and enjoyable day for everyone. Catty and Fast Black and their current lovers had even dropped in for a plate and a few drinks.

But it was a sad and bittersweet day too. Still, the two Maureens didn't want it to end. In less than twenty-four hours, Big Maureen would be gone and Maureen and would miss her.

“We still plan on comin' back for Thanksgivin' or Christmas, God willin,” Big Maureen said as Virgil drove her and her husband back to the airport with Maureen in the front seat, snapping pictures with one of the less complicated cameras Mel owned.

“When Lo'retta gets back from them Bahamas, tell her to send us some of them pictures Mel's goin' to take down there,” Lukas added. “Maybe the next time we come to visit, she'll slow down so she can spend more time with us.”

“I'll make sure of that. Even if I have to put a leash on her neck,” Maureen promised with a wicked laugh. “Her and Mel both.”

It was an emotional parting. Virgil and Maureen spent so much time hugging and kissing Big Maureen at the curb in front of the airport that Lukas had to practically drag her away so they wouldn't miss their flight.

After Virgil dropped Maureen off at her place, she drank a glass of wine and took a nap. She had to get up early to take Mel and Loretta to the airport the next morning.

When Maureen got up a little before 7:00 a.m., Mel and Loretta had already eaten breakfast and were anxious to be on their way.

“How come y'all didn't wake me up?” Maureen asked, padding into the living room where Mel and Loretta sat huddled together on the couch. “And—” Maureen gasped and stopped talking. On the floor near the door were
seven
large suitcases
and
the huge footlocker that Mel used to transport some of his camera equipment. “Why do y'all need so much luggage for just ten days? Folks will think y'all goin' to another planet.”

“Uh, I wanted two or three outfits for each day. You know me,” Loretta said in a nervous voice, turning to Mel. “Mel is bringin' his best camera equipment so he can get some good shots. Right, Mel?”

Mel nodded vigorously. “That's right!” he said quickly. “I had to pack a lot of outfits too. A couple of my clients from my last shoot are already down there, so there will be several parties. I didn't want to wear the same thing to each one.”

“Well, I hope y'all have a good time. I sure do wish I could go too. When I do have some vacation time, we'll go again,” Maureen said, glancing at her watch. “Let me get my shoes on so I can get y'all to the airport on time.” She blinked at Mel. “Oh, Mel, where is your SUV? I didn't see it when I got home last night.”

“Huh? Oh! I let one of my buddies borrow it until I get back,” Mel responded. “His is in the shop.”

“I hope your buddy takes good care of it. I know how much that SUV means to you,” Maureen said.

After Maureen had dropped Mel and Loretta off in front of Miami International, giving them both long hugs and lots of kisses, she returned to the apartment and made herself some hot tea. She did some housecleaning and a few loads of laundry, and she called to chat with a few friends she had not talked to in a while.

Mel had promised to give Maureen a call as soon as he and Loretta arrived in the islands, which she felt should have happened by now. They'd been gone for almost eight hours. She was more than a little concerned. She was tempted to call the number that Mel had given her just to make sure they had made it to their destination all right. But she changed her mind right away. The last thing she wanted to do was pester them. She eventually assumed they were already having such a good time that they simply had not had the time to check in with her.

After another hour had passed and Maureen still hadn't heard from Mel and Loretta, she became extremely worried. The way she kept glaring at the telephone, you would have thought that it was responsible for them not calling.

She picked up the telephone several times, but each time she placed it back into the cradle without attempting to call Mel. After a glass of wine helped her relax, she decided that it would be better if she just waited for them to call her later that night.

But they didn't call her later that night.

They didn't call the next day either.

Maureen was frantic by now. At 6:00
P.M.
on the second day, she finally dialed the number Mel had given her. There was no answer. She called four times in two hours and there was no answer. Now she was convinced that something really bad had happened. The thought of losing her only child and her husband at the same time was more than she could bear. Her life would be over because she knew she would not be able to go on.

She finally called Virgil.

“Virgil, I can't get in touch with Loretta and Mel,” she hollered, clutching the telephone in her hand like she was afraid it was going to escape.

“When was the last time you talked to them?” he asked.

“When I dropped them off at the airport yesterday mornin',” Maureen replied, almost choking on her words.

“Don't go gettin' all upset yet. If you don't hear from them before you go to bed tonight, we'll figure out somethin' in the mornin'.”

Virgil hung up but Maureen didn't stop with him. She called the airline reservation desk thinking that maybe they had missed their flight and were still sitting in the airport waiting on another one. She immediately realized that that didn't make any sense at all. Who would sit in an airport for a day and a half? If they had missed their flight, they would have let her know unless . . . unless something or
someone
was preventing them from doing so!

Maureen refused to believe what the woman at the airline told her. Loretta and Mel had not missed their flight to the Bahamas—
they had never been booked on it in the first place.