Lost Her (Lost #1) (8 page)

He turns off the water and places a towel around me. I watch as he dries himself off. He hangs up his towel turning to me. I am still leaning against the shower wall unable to muster energy to move. He moves toward the edge of the tub picking me up. He carries me back to my bed placing me down. He lies down next to me holding me extremely tight to his body. He is placing firm kisses to the top of my head, moving around my wet hair. I am beginning to doze off and I hear him whisper in to my ear, “You better never leave me again. I will always find you. I always want you and need you, Livi. I love you.” I sleepily slowly smile nodding in agreement. He continues kissing me while I fall into a deep sleep, lying securely in his arm
s.

Ryan
- The sunlight wakes me up and I reach over to the table to check my phone for the millionth time. I still have 2 hours until Livi needs to be at school. I watch her sleep for a few minutes. Her hair is all wild from going to bed with it wet. I just smile looking at the complete mess I created last night.

I get up out of bed heading into the kitchen to make coffee. I add water to the coffee maker. I turn it on and I forget how loud this thing is. I look toward the bedroom seeing that Livi didn’t even stir once. I bring my laptop over to the shaky kitchen table to check my e-mails. The coffee aroma fills the house as Livi shuffles out of the bedroom with the towel held to her. She walks like a zombie with hair going in all directions with mud still caked in her blonde locks over to the counter. She just stares forward watching the coffee pot do its brewing. I laugh inside remembering the first time I saw her do this back in college completely hung over. She bends down to see if the maker has stopped dripping and nods in confirmation. She finds a mug and pours some coffee. She is inhaling the smell as she turns around to see me sitting at the table. I hold up my phone snapping a photo of her. She mutters something and sits down at the table with a grimace, a pained look on her face.

“What is the matter?” I ask looking at her shift in the seat.

“I am sore,” she replies looking down at her cup of coffee.

I beam her a smile, “You are out of practice.”

“Don’t flatter yourself Ryan. My ass is completely bruised from falling down last night.” She gives me a look embarrassment. I stand up from the table and grab her arm.

Pulling her up from the chair, I lift her towel and take a look. “Wow that is one bruise for the record books. Let me get my phone. I want a photo to post on Facebook,” I laugh out.

She grabs the towel down stalking away from me. I watch her walk toward the bedroom as I say firmly, “Where are you going Livi? I think you want to shower and wash the mud out of your hair.”

She about faces and heads to the bathroom. I just keep shaking my head laughing at her. Watching her sulk as she moves rigidly into the bathroom and I just keep thinking to myself déjà vu from our college years.

I am waiting for Livi to drive her down to school. She walks out of the bedroom in a revealing sundress. “Livi, what are you doing? Put something else on or maybe a shirt over the top,” I demand.

She looks at me, “Ryan, this is comfortable with my bruise and all.”

“Livi, your huge breasts are standing out and so are your nipples,” I point at her fading out.

She looks down and says, “I have been here for months now, I’ve been just fine and I do not need you being all jealous.”

I glare at her and with a firm voice, “Right, you only have been leading Parker on.” She looks from side to side, knowing that I am right. She walks back into the bedroom. She comes out with a shirt over the top of the dress.

I drive her down to the school which is opened back up after the storm. I motion to her to stay in the vehicle. I walk around and help her out trying to alleviate any discomfort. I walk with her to the steps and Parker is standing there with her morning coffee. His mouth is wide open watching her move painfully slow.

He speaks to Livi as she is coming up the stairs, “Are you alright?”

I answer with my most confident voice, “Yeah, she is a little sore after getting a little rough last night.”

She spins around looks at me with dagger eyes and touches Parker’s bicep, “I fell in the mud last night and I am bruised up.” What the hell, why is she touching him?

I become instantly angry. “Livi, do not forget to have your conversation today.” She looks at me with a hurtful look in her eyes and nods in agreement.

I drive back up to the house to do some chores to keep occupied. I become increasingly bored and decide to make it a beach day. I pack up some items and I find an old beach lounge chair underneath the house. I walk over to where Livi fell last night find
ing her towel. I chuckle at myself remembering how silly she looked.

I drive down to the beach setting myself up with the chair. I am listening to the thrash metal music Livi has on her iPod. I really can’t stand this stuff she listens too, but she really likes it and I remember that band she was in. So I listen, trying to get in to it, but I can’t. I need some club music or as Livi tells me that I am such a Guido. I turn off the music and just listen to the waves until I fall asleep.

I wake up when I hear a bunch of people jumping in to the water from a catamaran. I guess this is the tourist boat that Rosalie gets her business from every few days. I notice a grumbling in my stomach and stroll over to the Cantina for lunch. I am surprised to see the Cantina fully packed with people. I notice that Rosalie is rushing around to tend bar and cook their food. Feeling bad, I walk behind the bar and ask her, “Need help?”

She smiles and throws me the bottle opener, “Yes please, three boats of Americans are here for a beach day. Just give them what they want to drink and mark it on the sheets of paper to ring them up at the end.” I nod.

“A fourth boat just came in.” Her eyes widen with panic as she runs to the back kitchen. I start tending bar, which I did in college for some extra money, as well as short order bar cooking in my grandparent’s restaurant. I find it odd, but I feel at home here. I laugh as I see some of the people taking their cell phones out of zip lock baggies and holding it up to try to get a signal just like I did my first day here. I speak to the one couple in my charming voice, “Sorry this is paradise, so there are no phone signals.”

The woman looks at me distraught. “How about internet? I really want to check in on my children.”

I pause looking at her completely knowing how she feels, “No, sorry. We are working on that though. So if you visit again, there will be internet.”

My plan was clear in my head. Tomorrow, when I go to Limón to pick up Henry, I will stop to purchase and internet Wi-Fi booster for Rosalie for here at the Cantina. Rosalie and I bang out the customers’ orders together like we have been working together for years. The crowd dies down and we have just placed the food on the tables for the fourth boat. The Captain and his three man crew are eating at the bar. Rosalie is talking it up with them and I overhear the conversation. Rosalie is quickly trying to change the subject, but the Crew men keep speaking. I hear the one man say, “Where is the hot blonde American teacher with big jugs today?”

The other man replies, “Off with her New Zealand toy.” I am raging a
s I step toward their conversation. Rosalie has her hand on my chest while I continue to listen to them talk and disrespect my wife with verbs of how they can screw her better than the New Zealand toy.

My blood pressure is up and I am boiling inside. I boldly say, “No one is screwing her but me.”

They all look at me and one man speaks, “You are not the boy toy.”

I respond rapidly, “No, I am the husband.”

They all laugh shaking their head in disagreement. “So the teacher was unhappy with her toy and got herself a new man, a husband?”

“No, no,” I say. “We have been married for twenty two years.” Rosalie is pushing me back in to the kitchen.

She is pointing in my face, “Do not be going all cavemen. Do you hear me, Ryan?”

I look at her trying to calm myself down, “Did you hear the things they were saying about her and,” I pause, “Parker being a couple.”

Rosalie is smiling at me like she knows some big joke, “Ryan, when some day trippers come in to the Cantina they both get harassed. Poor Parker gets hit on all the time by old women. Sometimes they tell people they are a couple to get them off their back.”

I look at her speak
ing slowly, “But Parker wants more, I can see it.”

She places both hands on each of my shoulders and speaks gently, “Yes, I will not lie. Parker is very smitten with her. But Ryan, she loves you. She chooses you. I wish it did not take you so long to figure it out and to get your ass down here.”

I look at her fully knowing that she is right bowing my head down in embarrassment, “I am 42 years old and I am acting just like I did back in college, all heated jealous.”

She looks at me surprised, “At least you acknowledge that you are acting barbaric. Let us finish that out there and do not let those men get to you. You should know how men are all talk and no action.”

I look at her coyly, “I always act on what I say. How do you think I kept Livi happy all these years?”

She turns me around and slaps my ass, “Get back o
ut there you arrogant baboon!” Rosalie knows how to put me right in my place. I feel more connected to her than I did my own mother. My mother never corrected me growing up. All she did was told me I was a great man, which over fed my confidence.

I finish up helping Rosalie clean up after the crowd. Not realizing the time, I see Livi walking toward the Cantina still moving stiffly. Then I see Parker run up behind her putting his arms around her waist. She turns looking at him and hands him her bag. They continue to walk toward the Cantina with his arm around her.

I let out a growl and Rosalie looks toward me, “Ryan, down boy.” She says shooting me an angry look.

“She never listens to me. She took off her top,” I growl out my words.

“Wow, you are over the top. We all dress like that here. You think that is bad, you should have seen your daughter parading around in her thong bikini. They both are very endowed on top,” the words roll out of her mouth matter of fact.

I just shake my head not agreeing, “Not on my watch. Livi has always been too mild with her parenting skills, so free and easy going.”

Rosalie stops sweeping and looks at me dead in the eye, “Isn’t that what you love about her and isn’t that why you are here? You really are a control freak. I am not sure how she dealt with your overbearing behavior all these years.”

              I roll my eyes, “If she just listened to me once and did not want to be the disciplining parent, Briar would still be alive.”

At that moment, Rosalie slaps me in the face and I am taken back in shock. She
is pointing her finger in my face again, “Stop with the self-loathing. I heard both sides, no make those three sides. Katie feels that Briar would still be alive if you did not wrap yourself up in your work and been there to help Livi raise the rambunctious boy. Livi was tired and constantly trying to control your son, but she gave in. Don’t blame her when you are at fault as well.”

I step back and I am shocked by what I just heard. Rosalie was so right and I wish Katie confided in me as she did to Rosalie. It was the truth, and I knew it inside. I look at Rosalie utter
ing softly, “I am sorry and never knew I was wrong.” That was the end of it, an outsider showing me the light and errors of my ways, where my family kept telling me how horrible Livi was to defy me. The truth just hit me like a ton of bricks being dumped on my chest.

I feel a hand on my shoulder turning to see Livi’s smiling eyes. I put down the cleaner and embrace Livi into my arms. I lean in to kiss her fully cover her lips with mine. I kiss her so hard like I have not been able to touch her for years. I grab her hand pulling it into my chest and whisper in her ear, “Let’s go take a walk down on the beach.”

She looks up at me taking notice the look in my eyes that I am displaying sadness and upset. I take her school bag placing it behind the bar. Grabbing her hand I guide her down the stairs. I walk so slowly knowing that she is injured from her fall. I take in the sight that the beach is vacant from the tourists. I guide her down to my lounge chair. She points to the chair, “Hey, that’s mine.” I nod bending to sit down. I pull her down to the chair so her back is against my chest and we are watching the waves roll on to the beach. I hold her tightly smelling her hair, taking in her scent.

Then overdue emotion hits me and I am feeling my eyes well up with tears. I break into a gentle sob. I place my face into her neck and she turns her body to look at me. She places her hand on my cheek and speaks my name inquisitively, “Ryan?”

I wipe my tears off my face with the back of my hand. “Rosalie told me some hardening truth,” I say still sobbing.

Livi looks at me shockingly worried, “Yes, about?”

“That she and
Katie are completely correct. I just left you all alone to deal with Briar’s unruliness. That I wasn’t there to help you try to keep him at bay and you were worn out. I am so sorry for not being there, for you, for Briar,” I stutter out in between tears.

She grabs my hands in both of hers. “He was being so rotten to me. Calling me an evil bitch and being extremely condescending. Katie yelled at me too, wanting me to smack him put
ting him in his place. I have to admit I was a little scared of him too. I looked into those eyes and he just melted my heart. He was so much like you, never taking no for answer. I just assumed the hormones were making him nasty and moody. I told him to go and to have the quad back in the garage before you came home to catch him.” I look at the sadness in Livi’s eyes. I had no idea that my son was being so horrible to his mother and I felt again that is was my entire fault for not being there. I knew he was a handful, but I did not know to what extreme. I lean over putting my arms around her just embracing her. I never want to let her go. I never want to be without her ever again. I wish I was a better husband and opened my ears, my mind sooner.

She nuzzles her head into my chest
then she whispers to me, “Your case load kept you extremely busy. I know when Briar became demanding, you started working in the law office all the time so you could concentrate. I am sorry Ryan. I thought you were aware of the issues that I was dealing with at home.”

I
am nodding, “Yeah and no, I just was tuning you out, thinking you were weak and whiny.”

She looks in to my eye, “I was weak
. He had me wrapped around his finger.”

I looked at the pain in her face and I just knew that I needed to take it all away. I lean my forehead on to hers, looking right into her eyes. Then, I place my hand to raise her chin to kiss her lips. I emotionally kiss her finding my hand tracing patterns from her knee moving up her thigh under her sundress. She moves closer to give my hand access to her underwear. I keep touching the silky underwear that is stopping me from getting to her. I grab the top of her underwear tearing them right off her with one quick sudden move. She pulls back looking at me in shock of what I just done then excitedly leans right back into me for deeper, heavier kisses. Now I have access to her nether lips and I am aggressively forcefully are touching her. She starts moaning into the kisses as I continue to keep pawing her. She moans deeply within her chest and slides herself up on to my hand burying my fingers deeper within her. She gently bites at my bottom lip as she is moving her hips. Then I feel something I have not felt in years. She completely lost herself erotically in my hand. Livi was giving herself up to me in that way only she could as I gave her the deep g-spot orgasm.

I quickly undo my shorts freeing myself. Still jolting in ecstasy, I move Livi’s jittering legs over mine. I enter into her completely soaking wet folds. I wildly roll my hips biting at her neck. I lift my head to look into her eyes and just then I lose myself in that moment within her.