Lost in Mist and Shadow: A Between the Worlds Novel (15 page)

“Oh,” Rose exclaimed, and then put her hand over her mouth looking as embarrassed as Allie felt. “I’m sorry. I’ve never met an elf before.”

“I’m not an elf,” Allie said tensely, “my mother was. And I’m thirty-seven by the way. It’s hard to judge age though with people who have mixed ancestry.”

To Rose’s credit despite being a bit stunned she made a real effort not to show it, “Well you were right then. I’m only fifty-two so I’m a smidge young to be your mother.”

Allie smiled tentatively, “You know when I first met you I thought you were younger than I am.”

Rose laughed loudly at that, “Now you’re putting me on.”

“No really. Elves and Fairy creatures don’t lie you know, it’s foreign to their culture, and I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true, “Allie smiled, relaxing as Rose seemed to accept the revelation of her heritage, and risked teasing the other woman a little, “Although you should know I’m horrible at guessing people’s ages.”

Rose kept laughing, shaking her head slightly, “I believe it, if you thought I was in my thirties. Lord knows some days I wish I was, but fifty-two’s not so bad either.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“Well, you just made my day for sure. That’s as good as getting carded at the liquor store,” Rose smiled and walked over to get her tea, now cooled down enough to drink.

Allie went back to admiring the different statues. It was hard for her to believe they had been made entirely with human skill and not magic.

“You know Allie I was serious about wanting you to model for me,” Rose said from the little table where she was sitting and drinking. “I can really see you in this piece I have in mind.”

“Oh I couldn’t,” Allie said immediately.

“Why not?” Rose asked, her tone perfectly reasonable.

“Well, I just…I mean…me? Why me?”

“Why not you?” Rose asked, looking at Allie thoughtfully over the top of her mug.

Allie opened and closed her mouth a couple times, trying to explain. “There’s just nothing special about me that you’d need me to sculpt. Anyone else could do it. I’d feel silly.”

Rose was quiet for a while contemplating the younger woman. “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit,” she said finally. “You might feel silly at first, most people do, but I think you’d find it quite empowering.”

Allie bit her lip, “I don’t know. I just can’t see a sculpture of me not looking boring next to all of these.”

“Trust me,” Rose said, amused,” None of my work is ever boring. Not even the mistakes and ones that don’t work out the way I planned.”

Allie hesitated. Thinking about mistakes made her think about the spell she had cast on herself and Jess. It occurred to her that this might be a chance to get some impartial feedback. And she didn’t exactly have anyone else to talk to about it, short of calling a psychic hotline. “Rose, I know we don’t know each other very well, but can I ask you a personal question?”

The other woman looked curious, “Sure, go ahead. If it’s too personal I just won’t answer it.”

Allie smiled at that, then sobered. “How do you make a relationship work?”

Rose’s eyes went wide, “Well you don’t ask the easy ones do you!”

“I guess not. I’m just in this situation. Very, very complicated situation. Long story. But I’m with someone I really like and things are starting to get weird with us. But I don’t know why and I don’t really have any experience with this sort of thing,” Allie said, hoping that was coherent enough for Rose to follow.

She nodded slowly, “Have you talked about it with this person?”

Allie looked at her blankly.

“I thought so. That right there is probably a big part of your problem,” Rose said sagely.

“Huh,” Allie said. “Yeah, I can see that not talking might be bad. But do you really think he wants to be bored with all my little problems?”

“Oh honey,” Rose said, gently, “if he loves you then of course he wants to hear about whatever is going on with you. Don’t you want him to talk about his problems?”

Allie looked down, “You’re pretty good at this relationship advice.”

Rose laughed, “Good to know. If my art career ever falls through I can become one of those old ladies who writes an advice column and tells everyone how to fix their lives.”

Allie giggled at the idea. “Thanks Rose. For the advice and the sculpture. I need to get back to my store soon but I’m glad I came out to see you.”

“Anytime Allie,” Rose said sincerely. “And stop by Saturday – I’ll have the statue all set for you to pick up.”

***********************************

Allie pulled over halfway back to downtown and called Jess on her cell phone. He sounded tense and unhappy, but when she asked if he could meet her out at her house again that night he agreed readily enough. When Allie got back to the store the glass had been replaced and Riordan and Smythe were just packing up.

“Perfect timing,” Smythe said, cheerfully. “We’re done here but we need your signature on a couple things.”

Allie nodded and signed where they pointed, for once not bothering to read what she was signing.

Riordan handed her his card, “I don’t know if you still have the old one, or remember my number, but take this anyway, and if anything else happens – and I mean anything – call me right away.”

She nodded again, “Of course, and thanks.”

“Don’t worry, if we can find this guy we will.”

“I hope you can find him,” Allie said sincerely, waving as the two detectives left.

Feeling like it was a waste she nonetheless went in and opened the store for what was left of the day. She busied herself sweeping the broken glass up from inside, in front of the new windows. As she swept she felt a growing sense of anger and injustice. It burned in the pit of her stomach like a live coal. She worked hard for her business and it seemed horribly unfair that someone was so bent on harassing her here.

Unbidden an image from her grandmother’s grimoire came into her mind.
A spell to punish a transgressor. It would be so easy
Allie thought.
The book was full of terrible things but that one little spell wasn’t so bad. It just punishes someone who deserves punishing. What are the odds that the police will actually catch the person who has been doing this? Not very good. What are the odds that they’ll do something else to make me suffer? Pretty good. Why shouldn’t I do something to stop them? Why shouldn’t I make them suffer the way I’m suffering? I’m a witch but I’m not doing anything about any of this
.

Allie stopped, feeling bile in her throat. It was wrong, what she was thinking of doing, and she knew it. Burning the book had been necessary precisely because of how dangerous its contents were. But her anger and fear overcame her integrity. In a rush, before she could change her mind, she called up the energy and chanted the words of the spell, weaving chains of misery and guilt and casting them out towards the person who had broken her windows. She felt the spell hanging in the air as she chanted, like heavy cobwebs and then with a rush of foul air they were gone as they sought their target.

Sobbing at what she had done, and knowing it could not be taken back, Allie fell to her knees on the floor.

**********************************

Salarius had been riveted in place all day in his spot in the alley, watching the most fascinating drama unfold. First a drunk human had staggered by, and seizing a long piece of wood – in full sight of the street, but somehow unseen by anyone but the watching Dark elf – had smashed the windows of the girl’s store. Then a pixie had shown up, a herd of children surrounding her; she had examined the broken windows, then retreated to the building next to Sal’s hiding place. He guessed later that she had summoned the human police. And then as if that was not all interesting enough the girl herself had shown up followed by two human police. Soon the store front was buzzing with activity.

It was by far the most intriguing day of Salarius’s life, and that was before the girl left and returned and then cast a dark spell from the very book they had come seeking. It was the last thing he had expected her to do, after the way Ferinyth talked about her as a mewling weakling. The feel of that magic, sinister and strong, had almost been enough to draw Salarius across the street and into seizing the girl right then.

But no. He was having too much fun to end it this soon. He would have to choose his words with Ferinyth carefully to be sure the other elf didn’t rush into acting.

Sal was definitely not ready to go home yet.

*********************************

When Jess arrived that night Allie was waiting for him on the front steps. The house was empty: Liz and Shawn were working at the theater, Jason was out with Tony, and she didn’t know where Bleidd was. A small part of her was worried about that, but most of her was feeling overwhelming guilt about what she’d done that afternoon, and terrible nervousness about opening up to Jess about the things she was struggling with.

He pulled up in the Guard vehicle and she licked her lips nervously. Despite everything that was going on, she needed him in her life and she was sure that he was slowly slipping away. If the only way to stop that from happening was to bore him with her petty problems than that was what she had to do. She swallowed hard, feeling on the edge of tears again.
What if this is a mistake?
she thought digging her nails into her palms.
What if he decides I’m too high maintenance and leaves? What if he doesn’t want to deal with me like this?
She shook herself slightly as he walked across the lawn
No Rose said we needed to talk. I was thinking the same thing this morning, that we don’t talk enough. I’m going to talk to him, if I have to force every word out.

When he reached the steps she grabbed his hands without a word and pulled him up to her room, in silence. She paced over to the bed, part of her almost hoping that he would simply act on that hint, but he didn’t. He stood by the door looking as nervous as she felt. She tried to think of some clever way to start before finally just blurting out, “I think we need to talk.”

She felt his emotions surge up in a tidal wave, so overwhelming it broke her shielding completely and actually knocked her legs out from under her. She sat hard on the bed, gasping under the weight of his fear and despair. It was like being body slammed. He went to his knees in front of her, grabbing her hands and clutching them so hard it hurt.

“Allie, please,” he begged. “Please. I do not know what I have done to turn you away from me but at least give me the chance to repair it, before you cast me off.”

“What?” she said, confused by his words. “What are you talking about?”

“If you are angry with me, I can understand that, but let me make it right.”

“What?” she said again, shaking her head slightly. Misinterpreting the motion as rejection his emotions spiraled higher, his hands tightening more, causing her to cry out involuntarily. He let her go abruptly, starting to get up, to leave, and Allie knew even through the storm of misery, despair and anger battering her that he meant to leave for good. Forever. Frightened she grabbed his shoulders, pulling him back down before he could fully stand.

“No! Don’t! I can’t …it’s too much…the emotions, I can’t…” she let him go, folding over into him and clutching her temples. For an instant he remained an unyielding wall and then she was being pulled into his arms and she could feel him struggling to rein in his feelings. She had thought she understood how strong elven emotions were, and why the elves felt them dangerous, but she realized then that she had no idea. This was overwhelming beyond anything she could ever have imagined.

“I’m sorry Allie,” he moaned softly into her hair. “I do not want to hurt you.”

She took a deep breath, desperately trying to flow with the emotions and not against them so that they wouldn’t break her. Still, speaking was an effort, “Jess, please, don’t go. Don’t leave.”

As soon as she managed to get the words out the hurricane of despair became a strong breeze. When he spoke his voice was ragged, “You do not want me to go?”

“No,” she sobbed, shaking. Like a small child she curled up in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He leaned forward burying his face in her hair. For a long time they sat like that, neither moving. Finally he spoke, “I…thought you were going to tell me you did not want me to court you anymore.”

“What? No. No,” she whispered. “Why would you think that?”

“Because you don’t share your heart with me Allie,” he said gently. “That is what courting is. I ask you to be with me, if not physically than at least to speak into my mind and to share your feelings, but you do not. And when we see each other you do not talk to me about yourself.”

She shook her head slightly.
I am such a fool
she thought bitterly. “Jess, I – I feel like you don’t want me either, except in your bed. You don’t call me. You don’t tell me when I can see you again….”

“But my love you have only to reach out and think to me…”

She groaned, cutting him off. “You can’t just always wait around for me to contact you. You can’t assume I know what you’re doing. I feel like it’s all on me and I don’t know what I’m doing Jess. I don’t have a clue. I’ve never done this before.”