Lost In Our Darkness (Demons Of Darkness Book 2) (11 page)

I nodded. I knew I needed to make a decision.

I left Zoelle and Calissta once they had both fallen asleep. She questioned why I was so quiet. I had no answer for her. I had a lot on my mind and two women I loved. Both different. Trix made me feel things I didn’t want to feel. Made me care more then I could afford to. She made me crazy. Zoelle, she didn’t make me crazy. I didn’t go overboard with her.

Maybe because I didn’t care enough about her. She was what I needed. I couldn’t afford to be stupid. I needed my head in the game. That is why I needed to stay with Zoe. She was the perfect wife. Trix would never be what I needed her to be. She was too hard-headed.

I drove back to my house. The house I shared with Zoelle. I hadn’t told Trix when I left her in our house that I was only two doors down. I pulled into the driveway and got out of my Truck. I stood in the dark staring at  Trix’s house, the light was on and Nitro’s bike was parked out front stopping me from going down there. I wanted her but I needed to stay away from her. If I was near her I couldn’t trust myself not to touch her, not to take her.

I watched Nitro walk out the door. I could see Trix standing at the door holding our son as she watched her dad leave. When he was out of sight I started moving without realizing what I was doing until I was standing in front if her. She stared back at me and I moved my eyes to Zaiden who was hanging on to her as he kicked his feet back and forth. I held my arms out and he let go of her. Trix handed him to me with a smile on her face. I held him as I walked into our house, taking a seat on the couch. Well it wasn’t ours, not anymore. It was hers. 

“What’s up Nix.” She sat down next to me pulling her legs underneath her.

“Just checking in see how you’re doing.” I looked over at her as Zaiden stabbed me in the eye with his fingers as he giggled. Trix laughed.  He crawled out of my lap and slid off the couch. We both watched him as he held himself up on his unsteady legs. He smiled showing his four front teeth. He kept looking between Trix and me then let go of the couch and stumbled back and fell on his butt. He sat there as I watched him. He pushed himself up on unsteady legs and took a step towards me, then another.

“Holy shit. He’s never done that before.”

“He hasn’t?” I looked over at Trix who just stared at our son. She shook her head no. I smiled as I picked him up. “Little man did you just take your first steps.” He bounced as I held his hands as he stood on my legs bouncing. “Dada,” he cooed. I stared at him in shock as my son looked at me and said “Dada” over and over. I looked over at Trix. She just looked at as if she wanted to say something but was trying not to. 

“Watch him for a min. I’ll be right back.” Trix stood up and ran from the room.  I looked at Zaiden knowing I shouldn’t follow her. I stood up and carried Zaiden to his room. His butt felt squishy which probably meant he needed his diaper changed. I had no idea what I was doing. I found his diapers and looked around the room. Okay I could do this. I sat down with him on the floor and laid him down. He kicked his legs as I tried to unbutton his pants. I finally managed to get them off along with his diaper. I got the new diaper under his but he started to pee. I barley got my hand up in time to block my face. I got his diaper on and stood him up. He pulled his hands out of mine and started clapping them together.

“Okay little man time for bed.” Trix came in and scooped him up in her arms. She set him down in his crib and pulled a blanket over him before handing him a bottle. “Night.” She pressed a kiss to his head and turned the light off. I followed her out of the room.

I stood in the hallway as she dropped onto the couch curling her legs underneath her as she flipped on the television. I watched her for a few minutes before I dropped down next to her. We didn’t talk, we both just sat there.

Chapter Fifteen

I woke up with a blanket covering me. Sunlight was coming through the front window. I sat up stretching my arms. I glanced at the clock. Shit, normally Zaiden was awake by now. I threw myself off the couch and made my way to my room to check on him, stopping in his doorway. I blinked making sure I was really seeing what was in front of me. Nix was sitting on the floor with his back to me as Zaiden was sitting in front of him. They were stacking blocks. I turned around and made my way to the kitchen and looked through the cabinets until I found what I needed.

After fixing Zaiden a bottle and starting a pot of coffee I was staring out the window and contemplating what Nix was up to when I felt someone come up behind me and wrap their arms around me. I sank into his embrace. He kissed the top of my head.

“Where’s Zaiden?” I turned in his arms and looked up at him, his green eyes staring into mine.

“Playing with his blocks.”

I smiled up at him when I heard “
Mama Mama”
I pulled out of his arms grabbing Zaiden's bottle as I went in search of my son. He was standing in his crib bouncing up and down as he held onto the rail. I scooped him up and handed him his bottle. When I carried him into the kitchen to get him breakfast Nix was sitting at the small table and I handed Zaiden to him and pulled out a box of Cheerios. Pouring some out into a bowl I placed them in front of Zaiden. He reached in the bowl grabbing a handful and stuffing them into his mouth.  I poured two cups of coffee and placed one in front of Nix. He looked up and smiled at me making me wish Zaiden was in his room so I could crawl on Nix’s lap. I snapped myself out of that thought and turned around and stared out the window.

I finished my coffee and walked out of the kitchen. I needed to be as far away from Nix as I could. I walked into my room and shut the door behind me. Taking a deep breath I undressed as I walked to my bathroom and stepped into the shower turning on the water.  I wasn’t sure how long I stood there unmoving as the steaming water cascade over my body when I heard the door open and then the shower curtain moved as Nix stepped in behind me. I didn’t move to look at him, I just stood there with my eyes closed. His arms wrapped around my center and pulled me back to him. I relaxed into his arms as I leaned my head back into his shoulder.

His hands slid down my stomach until he stopped between my legs. I moaned his name as he spread my legs apart with his leg. I know I should stop him, but I can’t. I can’t stop him. And that’s our problem, I can’t say no to him. Or maybe I just don’t know how to. 

“Trix.” He whispered in my ear as he pushed me against the shower wall. I steadied myself as I pressed my hands against the wall to keep me in place as he pushed his cock inside of me.

Fuck.
What was I doing. I just fucked Trix in her shower and then walked out. Leaving her there as I dressed and left. I was supposed to be at the hospital an hour ago but I couldn’t pull myself away from Trix.

I pulled up to the hospital and made my way to Zoelle’s room. She was sitting on the hospital bed looking as if she was ready to murder me in my sleep. Fuck. She was pissed.

“What the fuck Nix. I have been calling you for the past hour.”

“Sorry I got held up.” I shrugged.

“You mean you had your dick stuck in some fucking bitch.”

“Whatever. You ready to go.”

“You don’t even try to deny it, do you.” She stared at me looking like she wanted to rip my head off.

“You knew what you were getting into when you met me Zoelle.”

“Yeah but somehow I thought you might actually care that you are married. Silly me.” She stood up and picked up her bag as a nurse walked in with a wheelchair. Zoelle took a seat and I picked up the infant carrier that held our sleeping daughter. Zoelle continued to stare daggers at me.

The drive home was quiet until we pulled onto our street and Zoelle spotted Trix standing outside her house.

“Oh you have got to be fucking shitting me, Nix. You did not move that stupid bitch into a house two down from ours.”

“She’s the mother of my son Zoe. I need him as close as I can get.”

“You are a jackass Nix. Why don’t you just take him from her. I mean seriously what can she do about it if you just take him.”

“Really Zoe.”

“I want her gone Nix.”

“That’s not going to happen.  And there is no way she would let that happen.”

“You’re a fucking pussy. She’s just a girl, take your son and let’s move on with our lives without her getting in between us.”

“She’s not getting in between us.”

“If you really think that Nix, you can go fuck yourself.” She unfastened her seat belt and threw her door open as soon as the truck was in park.  I pulled the keys from the ignition, jumped out of the truck, and unhooked the infant seat and carried her to the house. When I got to the door I stopped and looked over at Trix who was staring at me shaking her head. The thing was, even if I wanted to take Zaiden from her I wouldn’t. I valued my life way too much.

I walked into the house and found Zoelle in the baby’s room.

“You know Zoe, she’s not that bad.”

“She’s not so bad. Really Nix. She fucking took off pregnant with your child and then when you finally move past all the bullshit she put you through, she comes running back expecting you to welcome her and her son with open arms. Fuck that Nix. She’s playing you and you are falling right into that trap. But get this Nix. I am not going to play her games. If she thinks she can come in here and take my husband, my family—she has another thing coming.”

“She won’t.”

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that.”

“Just do me a favor and be somewhat nice to her. She is the mother of my son.”

“Yeah and I’m the mother of your daughter, and your wife. Maybe you should think about that.”

“Zoelle. Trix and I have a complicated past. If you can’t handle it then I’m sorry, but you knew from the beginning that I was fucked up. So suck it up and deal with this shit. I don’t want to keep arguing with you about her. She’s here and she is staying.”

“If she is staying Nix, why did she leave in the first place?”

I stared back at her not wanting to answer.

“Why did she leave Nix?” She repeated the question.

“She left because she didn’t want to have to live through another dead baby.”

Chapter Sixteen