Lost In Our Darkness (Demons Of Darkness Book 2) (13 page)

“Yeah I did.” She let out a deep breath. “I want you to know that I regret leaving. I should have told you and we could have figured shit out together.” She looked at me and gave me a weak smile. Her tears had dried up now leaving her face red and puffy.

“Can’t change what happened Trix. Not now.”

“Yeah but I just want you to know that it wasn’t because I didn’t want you or I didn’t love you because I did. I was scared Nix. So scared that what happened here would happen again.”

“We can’t do anything about it now Trix. What’s done is done.” I took a long drink out of the bottle and handed it to her. I hated the way I felt inside. I shouldn’t want to be with her, not anymore. But I couldn’t help myself. I wanted her. It didn’t matter that I was married and had a baby at home. I wanted Trix. She was like a drug, an addiction that wasn’t healthy. I didn’t care though, no matter how much I tried to talk myself out of it I was going to keep fucking her as long as she let me.

I took the bottle from her hands and set it down on the table next to the mirror and pile of coke. I grabbed a cigarette out of my pack and placed it between my lips. Before I could get my lighter out Trix had snatched the cigarette out from between my lips and my lighter from my hands. I looked over at her as she placed the cigarette between her lips and lit it. Handing me back my lighter she laughed. Shaking my head I pulled her onto my lap and pulled the cigarette from between her fingers.

“Hey I stole that fair and square.” She laughed as she moved so that she was straddling me. I placed the cigarette back between her lips. She moved to take it between her fingers pressing herself against me. I could feel my dick getting hard as she took another drag and handed it back to me. I took another drag and stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray.

“Trix tell me not to do this, that you don’t want it and I will take you home right now,” I whispered as I pulled her face to mine.

“What if I don’t want you to stop.” She grinned as her lips came crashing down on mine.

Chapter Eighteen

I knew it was a bad idea but I didn’t care. Nix was mine even though he really wasn’t, at least not anymore. I just couldn’t let him go no matter how much my head was telling me to. I kissed him with everything I had in me. Our tongues twisted together as I grinded into him. His hands roaming my body until I couldn’t take anymore, I needed him closer, skin on skin. I pulled my shirt over my head as he rolled me so that I was lying on my back, my arms tangled in my shirt over my head. He grinned at me as he unbuttoned my pants, pushing them down. I kicked my legs out of them as he unbuttoned his pants. I freed my arms and wrapped them around his body pulling him back to me.

His body smashing against mine, he pressed his hard cock against me. I needed him inside of me and he wasn’t doing it fast enough. “Fuck me,” I whispered against his lips. He let out a growl as he pushed inside of me.

“Harder,” I purred as I bit down on his lower lip. He gripped my hair in one hand pulling my head back as he stared into my eyes.

I met him thrust for thrust as we rocked back and forth into each other. I pulled him closer our foreheads touching as we stared into each other’s eyes. Fuck, there was no way I could stay away from him. No matter how much I tried I would never be able to tell him no. Maybe it's time I stop fighting it. Stop beating myself up over it. Could I deal with him being with Zoelle? Probably not. Sooner or later it would kill me. Watching him go to her after he was with me as if she was somehow better than me. She wasn't. She would never be better than me. But eventually the feeling of not being good enough would pull me back under until I couldn't function. Make me believe that I wasn't good enough. I closed my eyes as I felt the lingering effect of the coke drift through my body making me want another rail. I opened my eyes, he stared back at me as though he wanted to know what I was thinking. He wouldn't ask though. He never did. Maybe that was our problem. He never asked and I wouldn't explain. I wouldn’t tell him what I was thinking. I didn't want him to see the parts of me that were vulnerable.

He slid out of me and pulled his pants on, leaving me lying there naked.  He found a rag and tossed it to me. Fuck. I wiped away his cum from between my legs as he cut another line and handed me the mirror. I inhaled the line and leaned back on the couch as I waited for the numbness to come.

"Get dressed." He tossed me my shirt.

"Where are we going?"

"Wherever you want to go."

I picked my bra up off the floor and put it on before pulling my shirt over my head. My pants were still twisted around my left ankle. I slipped my other leg through the opening and pulled them up. "I need to check on Zaiden."

"Is he at home?"

"Yeah, Cheyenne has him."

"Come back to the clubhouse with me. Spend the night and I'll have someone go get him and Cheyenne in the morning."

I paused staring at him wondering what he was thinking. "Okay but let me just check in with her first and make sure he's okay."

He nodded as I searched for my phone. It had fallen out of my pocket and was lying on the floor. I had several missed calls from Payne. Shit. I had forgotten about him. I scrolled through what little contacts I had in my phone until I found Cheyenne’s number and pressed send. I stood up and paced the room as I waited for her to answer.

"Hey," she answered

"Hey. So how's Zae?"

"He's good. Taking a nap right now. Ahh, but Nitro is here and so is Payne. He looks pissed." She whispered the last part.

"Yeah about that. Can you ah, do you think you can keep him overnight and bring him to the clubhouse in the morning?"

"Sure thing. But what do you want me to do about this other one?"

"Just, fuck, um, tell him I'm fine and I'll call him later. I need to take care of some shit and I'm going to stay at the clubhouse tonight. No don’t tell him that, just tell him I'll call him when I can but I'm fine and he should leave."

"Is that her?" I could hear Payne ask Cheyenne in the background.

"Okay see you later," she said quickly before hanging up the phone.

I powered my phone off and slipped it in my pocket.

"Everything good?" Nix asked as he leaned against the wall smoking a cigarette.

"Yeah. Let's get out of here." I followed him as we walked through the bar and out back where his bike was. He started it and I hopped on the back wrapping my arms around his waist. Home. It felt like home. A home that I had lost, that may never truly be mine again. I stopped thinking, letting go of those thoughts as I pressed myself against Nix's back and relaxed into him.

We pulled up to the clubhouse. I took the long way back not wanting the feeling of Trix pressed against my back to end. I didn't know what would happen when we walked into the clubhouse together. I didn't care either. But as soon as I saw Venom’s bike I knew he would have something to say. I stopped the bike and kicked the kickstand down as Trix sighed before throwing her leg over the bike and standing next to me. I got off the bike and pulled her to me, wrapping my arm around her shoulder as we walked inside. We didn't stop. We went straight to my room and shut the door. She slipped out from under my arm and took a seat on my bed.

"I'm going to grab a bottle. You need anything?"

She shook her head no as she pulled out a pack of cigarettes and put one to her lips. I slipped out the door. Just as I expected Venom was waiting for me.

"Got something you want to say?" I asked him.

"Not sure if it's worth my breath to say anything."

"Then keep it to yourself."

"If that's how you want to play it."

I nodded. He pushed off the wall following me to the bar. I walked around grabbing a bottle of whiskey off the shelf. I looked up when I heard the front door slam open. Payne. He stalked towards the bar when he saw me.

"Where is she?"

"Don't worry about her. Go find yourself someone to take your mind off of her."

"Fuck you Nix. You tell me not to treat her like a club whore and then you go right to her, treating her like one."

"You don't know shit Payne." I walked around the bar to where he was standing.

"I know you Nix. I know you think she's yours but she's not. You think you can keep me away from her?"

"I know I can. Remember who the fuck you’re talking to."

"Fuck you Nix."

I pulled my glock from waist and pressed the barrel against his temple. "No. I believe it's fuck
you
Payne."

He gritted his teeth as he stared into my eyes.

"You want to say that again? Leave her alone. When she wants to talk to you she will but until then leave her the fuck alone." I gave him my best eat shit grin. He nodded but I knew he wasn't happy about it. But fuck him. "Alex," I yelled at the first bitch I saw. She came running up to me with a smile. The bitch would do whatever I told her to. "Show Payne here a good time. He needs to take his mind off what's not his." I stepped back and holstered my gun. I took the bottle from the bar and walked back to my room where Trix was waiting. For me.

She was sitting back on my bed her knees pulled up and a cigarette hanging from her lips.  

I twisted the lid off the bottle of whiskey and took a drink as I walked over to her and sat down on the bed next to her and kicked my boots off. She took the bottle from my hands and took a long drink then handed it back to me as she licked her lips. I set the bottle down on the table next to the bed.

"What's going through that head of yours Trix?"

"Lots of shit I shouldn't be thinking about."

"Then don't think."

"Easier said than done"

"Let me help you then." I reached into my pocket and pulled out a baggie of coke and handed it to her. "Will this help?"

"For now." She laughed as she opened the baggie and dipped her fingernail in, scooping out a bump and holding it to her nose.

"Fuck," she whispered.

Chapter Nineteen

I lay awake in Nix's bed wrapped in his arms. As much as I tried I couldn't stop thinking that this was going to end. Yet I couldn't stop myself from the train wreck I knew was coming. We were headed full speed right into a brick wall and when we hit, it would screw with more than just us. I still needed to deal with Payne, and Nix, well he had a wife and a newborn baby. But just for tonight I was going to stay in his arms.

I wasn't sure when I fell asleep but when the banging on his door came, I shot straight up and pulled the blanket over my naked body. Nix threw himself out of bed and grabbed his gun before walking naked to the door. "What the fuck?" He tore the door open with his gun drawn. Pointing the barrel right between the eyes of his wife.

"What the fuck Zoe." He tried to keep her from seeing inside the room but failed.

"You can't be fucking serious," she screamed as he put the gun down and tried to stop her as she ducked under his arm. "What the fuck is she doing in your bed Nix?"