Lost In Rewind (Audio Fools #3) (33 page)

“T
ap, tap, tap.”

I jump up, feeling my age the second I pry my eyes open. Every joint and muscle in my body aches. I squint my eyes, shielding the sun with my arm. I lower my window, not at all happy with my morning wakeup call.

“Meet me inside in ten minutes. I’m Lauren, by the way, and I still don’t like you,” the bartender declares in case I thought she suddenly fell in love with me.

“Top of the morning to you, too, Lauren.” I rub my face and my neck, cursing my decision to spend a night in my car. I could’ve found a fucking motel. I’m not a kid anymore. But I was hoping Kali, and not sergeant Lauren, would come find me.

I check my phone; perhaps miraculously Kali texted me back.

I see a text from Will with dozens of pictures of Jacob and Juliet behaving silly and eating pizza. My favorite picture is of them fast asleep with the white puppy sleeping between them. I smile, wishing I was there right now instead of waking up in my car about to head in and talk to Lauren A.K.A. my biggest fan.

It’s eight AM and the bar is obviously closed. I knock on the door and Lauren very graciously lets me in after making me wait for a good five minutes. I wonder if she plans on poisoning me, beating me with a bat, or just mentally abusing me?

“I got your message last night,” she begins the abuse.

“Oh yeah? What message is that?” I’m genuinely interested in her sudden epiphany. She didn’t seem to recognize me or Kali last night.

“I have her phone. She didn’t need it where she went,” she explains matter-of-factly.

I won’t breathe until she says more.

“I got your voice message and I feel a little sorry for you. I still think you’re an asshole, but I feel marginally bad for what you’ve been going through. I’m here to throw you a bone,” she offers nicely but still sounds evil.

I nod because all I heard is that Kali is gone and this woman now has her phone and lives in her apartment. Something smells rotten. Should I be calling the cops?

“Where is she?” That’s all I want to know. I need to know that she’s safe.

“She’s far away from here.” Her answer does nothing to make me feel better.

“Is she okay? Did she leave the country? Can you give me her new number?” Lauren gets behind the bar and pulls a bottle of white wine from a locked cabinet. She expertly removes the cork and begins to fill two glasses of wine, as if she’s a master sommelier. She hands me one glass, lifts hers in the air, and says, “Tchin-tchin.”

I look at her confused, I guess I was correct—she plans to poison me.

She savors her wine, swirling it and sniffing it, lifting the glass to the light to inspect its color.

“Are you all sorted with your wife, girlfriend, and kids situation?” she questions. Obviously Kali has spoken to her about the things I’ve told her privately.

“It’s none of your fucking business. Should I call the police and find out what you did with Kali?” This makes her spit out her wine and laugh maniacally.

“Yes, please call and try to explain to the police who this mysterious girl is you keep talking about—Kali, is that what you call her? Does Kali have a last name?” This girl may have a point.

“Can you just stop this bullshit? I didn’t come here to drink wine or play detective games. Just tell me where she is.” My voice betrays my confidence and reveals my desperation.

Before I can fire more questions, Lauren continues. “She gifted my mom and me the bar and left. I have no idea where she is physically. I believe she’s purposely lost.” Her response has a bittersweet ring to it.

She starts again with her stupid wine, inspecting the label as if all of life’s answers are written on the damn bottle.

“I have no idea where she could’ve gone. She could be anywhere, but if I were a betting woman, which I’m not, I’d first go back to look for her where she probably got lost in the first place.” She adds a wink to her sly smile, placing the bottle right in front of my face.

I inspect the label and see the name Château De LeBlanc, Cassis, France. And that’s when the imaginary light bulb goes off. I smile and shake my head when I realize what Lauren is trying to do. I get up and walk behind the bar to give her a hug, whether she likes it or not. This Lauren girl, she may be all right after all.

“Is this necessary?” I hear her moan out in protest. “I don’t like being touched. Listen, if you ever find her, if you mention me helping you, I’ll come after you. You being a lawyer doesn’t scare me.” She can’t keep a straight face with her futile warning.

“You have no idea what this means to me. I don’t even know what do with myself, I have so much to tell her.” I haven’t felt this alive in twenty years.

Now I just need to find her.

“
Hard To say I’m Sorry
” By Peter Cetera

S
ara and Will have become an integral part of my everyday life—they’ve become my lifesavers. Sara Klein has always been my physical form of therapy and escape. But Will, however, in my mind, was always my kryptonite until he became my most trusted friend and confidante. I wouldn’t want to explain our out-of-the-box relationship to a stranger because I’d probably need to write them a book first, but here I am onboard Will’s family jet, heading to Cassis, France, to go after the girl that I think and hope is indeed somehow a part of my future. You don’t always need to have a long painful history with someone for them to earn a spot in your life. Sometimes strangers just come in and suddenly become everything all at once, and your subsistence begins to make sense. Life is a puzzle; we spend our youth collecting the pieces, and then we spend our adulthood trying to put all the pieces together to reveal the bigger picture.

I have no idea how I plan to find Kali in Cassis, if in fact that’s where she is. But my gut is telling me to go find her and hold on to her hard with both hands. We may not have much of a past to anchor to, but we do have something in common: we shared a perfect night together and we were both lucky enough to have met Joella Gitanos.

I sit on the plane, hardly able to contain myself at the thought of finally seeing her again. The person I was before I met her wouldn’t recognize this man who just spontaneously got on a plane to go follow a girl around the world. But ever since she entered my world, everything is different.
What if she doesn’t want me?
The excitement begins to dissipate as reality comes to sit in the empty seat beside me. I have a crazy past that involves two women, two children, and enough chaos to merit any level-headed person to run. Why did she hang up on me? Why didn’t I call her back? Could this all be a mistake? Mentally I try to convince myself that this is the right thing for both of us. She may not have chosen to collide with someone like me, but fate chose for her.
Leave her, go home,
the thought
resonates in my head.

I look down at my hands, opening my palms. I see the place where Sara’s name is tattooed on the inside of my ring finger. Do I deserve the love of another girl? I have my answer: she’s a good girl, I’m a bad guy. I’m not getting off this plane when we land. I’m going back to my kids. I had enough adventures in my almost forty years on this earth that I’ll be content just being Juliet and Jacob’s dad for the rest of my life.

I close my eyes and will my brain not to summon the image of Kali sitting on the floor, wrapped in a floral scarf and passionately playing her violin soundlessly. If I try, I can almost hear the music, but some people like me never get to hear the harmony. I hope she finds someone good and fills his world with love that I can only dream about.

I send a text to Will.

-I’ve made a mistake. I shouldn’t be pursuing her. When we land I’ll make arrangement to come back home-

He calls me back almost immediately.

“What’s this about? You were giddy as a pig last time we spoke and now you’re running back home? You haven’t even landed yet, mate.” I can hear the disappointment in his voice, but I can’t do this to her, it just isn’t right.

“I was thinking about it.”

“Well, there’s your first problem, stop thinking. This has not a thing to do with what’s proper or sane, this has to do with your heart. If people used their head when it came to love we’d all be single. If your heart can’t leave her, then don’t let your head talk you out of it. Listen to your heart, Jeffery. Everybody is cheering for you. We want you to find your happiness. If this girl makes you happy, go find her, don’t wait, bloody tell her! It doesn’t need to make sense for anyone but you. This is your future. It took you your whole bloody life to find her, and now you’re running away from your destiny. I won’t allow it.”

I listen to the man, who was once my nemesis and is now my greatest ally, give me a pep talk, and he’s right; as crazy as this seems, this woman has been a source of happiness that I never dreamed I’d find. I won’t hurt her. I just need to find her safe and sound and beg to be allowed to love her.

“Jeffery Rossi, are you still bloody there?” I sigh, not offering any words, because I have none. “I know what you need.” Will sounds hopeful. “You need your family by your side. You require all of us to hold your bloody hand and convince you that you are no villain. You hear me, mate?”

My eyes begin to tear and I’m thankful it’s just me on this plane ride.

“You loved Jacqueline and took care of her for fourteen years. You loved Sara and did whatever you bloody could with the situation you were given. You love your children, and instead of being a shite arse and keeping them away from their biological mother, you allow them to spend time with her and help her heal. You saved her. She is my life, and I will make sure you find whatever piece of happiness was meant for you. You copy that?”

I can’t actually speak with all the shit going on inside me. I just let the tears roll where they may, there’s no stopping them now.

“Do the little monkeys have passports?” Will questions.

“What? Of course they have passports, why?” I hear him laughing and yelling Sara’s name. What is that crazy Brit up to now?

“Sara, do you like Monte Carlo?” he asks her and I hear her say that she loves Monte Carlo. And then he adds, “Good, now call Emily and Louis and tell them we’re going on a family holiday, immediately.”

He gets back on the line and asks, “What’s your little buttercup’s full name, brother? Just so you’re aware, between Louis and my dad, those two can locate an amoeba, if need be. Text me her name and I’ll go tell the kids we’re going on a trip. You’re not getting lost on my watch. See you on the Cote D’Azur.”

He hangs up without waiting for me to okay his outlandish plan, and I just sit there looking at my phone in a calm state of bewilderment as I realize that William, Sara, our kids, Emily, and Louis are about to meet me in the South of France.

Holy shit, is this real life?