Lost In Rewind (Audio Fools #3) (41 page)

BOOK: Lost In Rewind (Audio Fools #3)

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“You see … I had a remarkable childhood in Cassis before my maman died. It was full of love and laughter—all I remember is warmth. I wanted to give the only part of you that you unknowingly left with me, a beautiful life too. That was the best I could do for her and me—I came back to the place I was happiest. I understand you didn’t choose to be with me or have a baby with me, and I wasn’t going to add to your troubles,” I say to try and explain to him that I’m not some horrible woman who wanted to keep a child away from a devoted papa. He was never an option and I wasn’t interested in becoming a burden.

He doesn’t say a word and continues to look at me with a penetrating, unyielding stare. He slowly gets up, towering over me like a giant. I hear him remove and discard his shoes on the floor by the bed, and without losing eye contact or saying a single word, he climbs into bed behind me. I feel his hands pull me into him with the type of ownership I’ve craved and dreamed about. His touch is the silent answer sending a welcomed tremor throughout my body. I’ve felt the warmth and safety of his arms before, only to later lose them to a harsh reality. I must play it safe and think not just about myself but about a child who should only know love and acceptance.

“You and the baby are not a problem, you are the solution. You are my happiness and my reason for waking up. You are my family, Sarah.” The warmth of his words warms both the nape of my neck and my heart. “I want to be your home, the place you always feel safe and happy.” His words echo in my head like a kind of déjà vu. I suddenly don’t just feel Jeff, but I feel my maman’s and grand-mère’s warm embrace as well.

I turn inside his hold with my protruding belly between us as I face him nose to nose. I look into his dual-colored eyes, which are the only eyes I want to lose myself in for the rest of my life, and in this moment, I do feel safe. I feel full—I don’t feel alone.

“You know I’m never letting you go?” is the last thing he says before I close my eyes and feel his lips make contact with mine. How can a set of lips be able to heal everything all at once?

He begins to kiss me, softly, patiently, almost too cautiously. I let a sigh of relief escape into his mouth when it finally dawns on me that he’s really here. Jeff and I are in bed together, and we both want the very same thing. He hasn’t forgotten about me, he hasn’t forsaken me—he came after me. My half moan is the signal he needs to deepen his guarded kiss. His tongue enters my mouth, filling it eagerly as I let go of my reserve and kiss him back the way I’ve dreamed and fantasized about thousands of times since that first kiss in my kitchen. I’m not sure if I want to cry or laugh, but all I want is to never stop kissing him.

“You feel that?” He mirrors the words I once asked him.

“Yes,” I answer with a wide smile.

“Good, I plan to do something about it. I plan to make you feel that every day for the rest of my life, Sarah.”

Hearing my name leave his lips is a kind of luxury I never thought I’d get to enjoy.

“I never thought I’d hear you say my name,” I cry, but this is the happiest I’ve ever been.

Jeff wipes my tears, allowing me to inhale his scent and calm my weary heart. He lifts my chin to align my eyes with his penetrating glare and smiles before speaking again.

“I have been saying your name before I even knew it belong to you. You were written into my future decades before I could even understand what love was. I’ve been lost navigating through this life, not understanding what I’ve been searching for, not knowing I had to find you. Whatever you feel, I feel it, too. I will never let you go—I will never hurt you, Sarah.” His voice cracks when uttering my name. It’s just my name, but from his lips, it feels like a promise—a solemn swear.

“What now?” I hold my breath for his answer.

“Now we press play and let the music begin. Sarah LeBlanc, will you be our guardian angel?”

His smile is my life. I outline his eyes with my fingers before touching his lips and whispering, “Only if you be mine…”

One Year Later

T
he weather has cooperated beautifully thus far, and it seems that Crown Affairs will be able to execute the entire ceremony on the beach as planned. We’re all barefoot, standing on the beach, lining a gate made up of two wooden doors covered in flowers. I look at the sandy beach and all the assembled guests filling every single seat on both sides of the flower canopy. I catch my stunning wife playing with Jolene, attempting to pin a flower in her nonexistent hair, which our daughter is determined on ripping out and eating.

I look away from my slice of heaven and notice a blond-haired woman in the distance. She’s not part of our wedding party, and I’m certain I’ve never seen her before. The stranger occupies a lone lounge chair in the middle of an empty sandy beach. She’s close enough for me to make out a stack of papers in her lap and pen in hand. She smiles while watching us and then continues to write vigorously. I wonder who she is. I was under the impression Will closed down their family resort just for friends and family in honor of his wedding. I turn back to look at the woman on the beach, but she’s gone …

Emily pops her head out from inside the hotel, giving us the thumbs up that her best friend is ready to go. The orchestra begins to play a slow stirring melody, and a moment later, a lump forms in my heart at the sight of Juliet and Jacob holding hands, as the flower girl and ring bearer, while the guests begin to clap and cheer. Our babies take their places at the podium with Juliet clutching my wife’s old violin and Jacob at the piano. Sara doesn’t know about this surprise as the kids begin to play her favorite ‘80s song: “
When I See You Smile
” by Bad English with the help of the twenty piece orchestra joining in. Then, like a dream, Sara materializes, clad in white, casting a spell of awe on the crowd. She wears a smile bright enough to light New York City and you could touch her happiness from a mile away. She’s never looked more striking. The entire bridal party—Emily, Louis, Eddie, and myself included, like the audio fools that we are, begin to sing out loud the lyrics to our friend’s favorite ballad as she walks down the aisle crying. I look over at Will—the man on the receiving end of that smile—as he lowers his head to hide his tears. These two finally get to share with the world the happy ending they’ve spent their whole lives searching for. I swallow my emotion and thank the universe for granting me this view.

I suddenly see the blonde writer from before walking away, turning back to look at us from time to time until she disappears from view.
Who is she?
I shake my head to see if anyone else noticed her, but they’re all focused on the bride and groom. I slowly scan all the different souls that comprise my world, zeroing in on my wife, Sarah, and all our beautiful children, and that’s when I’m finally able to appreciate how life doesn’t always make sense when we’re living it, but in rewind, it’s all crystal clear.