Lost in Silence (The Lost Series Book 1) (28 page)

Alice

“I need you,” I whisper before kissing him softly. I did need him, so much I could barely think straight. Sleeping next to him the last few nights with nothing happening has been torture. Tonight though, come hell or high water, I was going to get him to touch me.

“You have me,” he replies, deepening the kiss. It’s sweet, soft and yielding, neither of us seeking control. It reminded me of why I fell in love with this man. His heart, though stubborn, always knew how to handle me and give me what I needed.

“Hudson,” I pull back and he loosens his hold on me, just enough to let the blanket slide down from my body. His eyes widen with surprise, as it pools at my feet. I smile as his eyes rake my naked body. Yes, this was me trying to seduce him and he liked it. “I
need
you.”

“Fuck, precious,” his eyes darken and a growl rumbles from his chest before he crushes me to him. The moment his lips touch mine, I swear lightning has struck because all I feel is the crackling power of need flowing through me. My legs quiver from the intensity.

I moan huskily into his mouth, caressing my tongue with his. My center burns hot for him and I feel its moisture pool between my legs, aching for him. I’m bursting at the seams to feel him inside me. Thrusting my hips against him, I feel the steel rod of his need grow thicker and harder. I grip him hard, and he surges forward, his lips trailing down my neck. His fingers trail along my hip, following the delicate curve of my body to my center. He groans again.

“My woman’s fucking wet,” he whispers as his mouth finds a taunt nipple and flicks it with his tongue, teasing me. My head falls back, surrendering to him.

“Hudson...”

“Going to taste your pussy on my tongue tonight, precious,” his words make my head dizzy. I
want
him to taste me. I
need
him to. Lifting my head, I meet his eyes, letting him see how much I wanted it. He chuckles before lifting my lust filled body into his arms and carrying me down the hall to our bedroom.
Our bedroom
. Yes, I like the sound of that. He lays me gently onto the bed. The room is dark except for the moonlight peeking in from the windows but I can see him watch me, his eyes glowing with love.

“Beautiful,” his voice is husky and thick. I lift up, touching his face before reaching for his shirt. “Not going to rush this,” his voice is firm but promising.

“Okay, but you have too many pieces of clothing on.”

He smiles, and before I know it, his shirt is off and his pants are kicked aside. His heavy cock is solid in front of me, pulsing with want. I reach for him, needing to feel his velvety softness but he brushes my hand away, instead lying down beside me. I press my body against his and he kisses me full on the lips. Soft and gentle but I feel every ounce of his need, sparking another electric current between us.

His lips nip along my jaw, down the column of my neck, across my chest, stopping at my belly button. I knew what was next and my pussy clenched with anticipation. His clever fingers touch me first, exploring the wetness of my core. I moan spreading my legs further for him. I feel the heat of his breath hovering inches from me. He breathes me in and I shiver, amazed at how the action burrows into my belly. I try to thrust forward, urging him on but he holds me tight.

“You’re in my bed, my ring will be on your finger,” his eyes are on me as he lowers his head, placing a soft kiss on my inner thigh. My breath catches in my throat.
Did he just say what I think he said?
“I prefer a small ceremony but the details are up to you. I only ask you make it sooner rather than later. Are you going to give me that?”

“Hudson,” I moan as he presses a finger down onto my clit, zapping my body with an explosion of sensations. “Yes, baby…”

“I’m going to put my baby in your belly before too long,” he kisses the other thigh, this time slipping a finger inside of me. I gasp loudly, a groan sounding from deep in my chest.
So good…
A second one follows soon after, making me shudder. “Are you still with me?”

“Yes…” my voice is breathless but I understood and I was alright with it. “Babies…”

He smirks before finally pressing his mouth against me, sending me soaring. I moan loudly pushing against his glorious tongue, riding the mounting tension as he drank me down. It wasn’t enough though. I needed more than his fingers. I needed
him
.

“Hudson, please…want you…”

He groans, moving quickly up the length of my body. He kisses me briefly, letting me taste myself on his tongue. Reaching over to the nightstand he pulls out a condom, ripping the wrapper open, he rolls it down his thick length.

“After tonight, no more of these,” he says tossing the wrapper aside.

“Okay honey,” I agree reaching for him. He kisses me hard and I give it back, demanding more. He positions himself at my entrance, his eyes holding mine.

“Love you, precious,” he murmurs before plunging into me, filling me up. I groan, loving the way he stretched me. “All mine.”

He moves, slowly. But that’s not how I want him, that’s not how I need him. I didn’t need it rough but I didn’t want him to treat me like glass either.

“Hudson, please...faster…so close...”

He smiles playfully at me before quickening his pace, thrusting into me harder, faster. I thrust up, rocking my hips meeting his rhythm. The familiar tingle races up my spine and I know I’m close. “Gonna come…”

“Not yet,” he grunts, forcing me to hold off my orgasm. It’s agony but bliss at the same time. I love it. My body is on fire, each movement intensifies the burning within me.

“Eyes,” his voice is gruff, sending a new wave of tingles through me. My eyes meet his and my body sparks alive. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold off my release but the intensity in his eyes tells me I won’t have to wait much longer. He was close too.

“Come now,” he commands.

My body explodes around him and I shout his name. The pleasure almost too much, consumes me. Wave after wave, my pussy milks his cock for his own release. I barely hear him groan my name as his first wave shudders through his body, sending him over the edge.

He slows his movements, riding out the final waves of pleasure with me. He leans down onto me, kisses me gently as he rests his body against me. Our quickened breath mingles with one another, smiles on our faces.

“I’m going to go clean up. Don’t move,” he says before pulling away. He pulls the blanket up around me before disappearing into the bathroom. He returns moments later, his face relaxed and content. I pat the spot next to me and watch as his glorious body slips into bed next to me. Settling onto his back, he beckons me to his side and I wrap my arm around his middle before placing my head on his chest.

“You know you didn’t have to ply me with anticipation to get me to agree to marry you and have babies. I already planned on doing those things with you,” I peek up at him through my lashes. My heart was full and my head still in the clouds. I can’t stop thinking about babies with his blue eyes and dark hair.

“I know, just more fun doing it that way,” his voice is still husky but I see the dream of our future in his eyes. I smile big, my heart bursting with joy. “You loved it, admit it.”

“Well, when you put it that way,” I laugh because he was right. I did like it. A lot.

“I want three, two boys and a girl. Last one a girl, with your eyes,” his tone more serious now but my heart soared even higher. I kiss him softly, wondering how I got so lucky.

“I love you, Hudson,” my words are against his lips.

He smiles down at me, giving me more than I ever dreamed possible. “Love you too, precious.”

*****

Sometime later we lay in each other’s arms completely spent and content. I knew I would have to tell him about my decision. Knowing he’d be there by my side made it easier to say.

“I want to go home to Chicago,” I whisper against his chest. I’d made the choice to go back the night before. I needed to go back but I wasn’t going back to live. “I want to visit my grandfather and to say goodbye to my father.”

“We’ll do that then,” he kisses my hair, making my heart feel warm and full.

“I don’t want to stay there long,” I further explain. “Chicago never felt like home. This place does. This is my home with you.”

“We’ll live here then,” he agreed. “In
our
home.”

“I want mom to live here too,” his body tenses but I keep talking because I know how his mind works. “Not
here
with us. Here in the same town, in her own home. I think I’m going to talk her into bringing my grandfather here too. This is my new start Hudson, my new life with you. I don’t want to be anywhere else.”

He nods before relaxing again, his arms tight around me. I relaxed into my man, finally excited to wake the next morning and see what life had in store for us.

Alice

The first time I visited my grandfather, he didn’t recognize me. The stroke he suffered did more damage than my mother said. I understood why she held back though. My grandfather was alive and that’s what mattered to me. I was walking out of his room during one of my visits when it happened. It was like someone turned on a light bulb. He called to me, his eyes lit up like the fourth of July and he struggled to get to his feet. After a few moments of tears and hugs, his mind slipped away again. I was grateful to have that moment with him, as brief as it was.

 Since I wasn’t planning on staying in Chicago, my mother agreed to move closer to Hudson and I. We hadn’t told her we were getting married yet, in fact we hadn’t told anyone. I wanted to get things settled before we did, that way we could celebrate it right with our family and friends.

Hudson found a care facility for my grandfather and it didn’t take much to convince my mother to move him closer to us. I think she missed him almost as much as I did. I spent a lot of time with him before he passed away a few months later. It hurt seeing him that way but I was happy to have had the time I did with him. I even managed to play for him a few times. Of course my skills were nothing like they had once been but I managed, crooked fingers and all.

My family was right about a lot of things, including the guilt I carried for killing a man. I spent some time with a counselor, working those issues out. I didn’t feel bad for killing Erik, I never did. He deserved far worse than I gave him. What I felt bad for was losing the piece of me it took to do it. I knew I’d never forget the way his eyes looked at me as his life faded away but I’d always remember what he did to me for six years. I’d remember but I wouldn’t let it ruin me. I wouldn’t let it control me. I wouldn’t let it identify me. I was stronger than that. I used my past as a way to help others like me. I became a counselor myself, working with women who were trying to escape abusive friends, boyfriends, husbands, lovers, pimps or whoever put them in a place of helplessness or low self worth.

Hudson and I married a few months later during a small ceremony, only our closest family and friends were present. Each member of his squad stood at his back since the moment he came into the fold and they would continue to do so until the day he died. But that day, they each stood and pledged a different kind of oath, one to always stand at my back too. Even Bear, who hightailed it afterwards, especially when he caught sight of Preacher’s Widow Charlotte from afar. I wasn’t sure about all of that but I’d learned to leave Bear alone. When he was ready to face his darkness, he would.

Later that evening, tucked away in our bed, I was finally able to give back to Hudson some of what he’d given to me.

“Honey,” I say softly, lacing our fingers together.

“Hmm,” he responds, his eyes closed.

“We need to move your office to King’s building,” I press a kiss against his chest. “Since you’re going to be around for awhile, I think it makes sense. We’ll need the space.”

“What are you talking about?” he asks, his eyes opening to mine. I smile slowly, bursting to tell him.

“Going to have to paint the room,” his eyes flicker as the realization slowly dawns on him. “Of course, it’s too early to know if we’ll need pink or blue.”

He moves, fast, flipping me onto my back. Shock and excited in his eyes.

“You’re pregnant?”

“Doctor confirmed it yesterday,” I reach over to my nightstand, open the drawer, and pull out the sonogram picture of our little peanut taken yesterday during my impromptu exam. I hand it to him with a giggle, watching his whole face transform. “I’m ten weeks.”

His eyes flip between me and the photo of our baby. He doesn’t know what to say, so he kisses me hard, showing me how happy he is. I wrap my arms around him and give it back.

*****      

Five Years Later…

“Mama, mama,” Mason bounced into the room landing on the large bed. His older brother, Maverick, followed close behind, a smile on his face.

“Hey boys, come meet your sister,” Hudson’s gruff voice greets them, a radiant smile on his face. Mason stands and toddles over to his sister, sitting down next to her. “Careful Mas, she’s real delicate okay?”

“Sees pwitty,” Mason’s toddler sized hand gently caresses the face of his new baby sister. Her dark eyes observant of him. “Tan I howld her?”

Maverick walks over to me and sits beside me on the bed. I tuck an arm around him, kissing his dark hair.

“Hey Mav,” he snuggles into me, his eyes on his sister. I sense his trepidation. “You can go see her if you want.”

He turns to look at me, blue eyes just like his father’s and shakes his head. His was the more sensitive of my boys, always worried about others. He was an excellent big brother, patient and attentive. The reason why Mason walked before he was a year old and talks like a “big boy”.

“I’m all right buddy,” I kiss his forehead, nudging him over to the baby. “Go on.”

He stands and moves carefully toward her.

“I yub yew baby,” Mason tells his sister. “Look Mavwrick, Maddy is yoking for yew.”

“Go on bud,” Hudson moves out of the way, making space for our oldest boy. Mav moves closer, a smile in his eyes. He looks between Maddy and me, I give him nod before he finally sits down softly next to her. She coos up at him and wraps a chubby hand around her big brother’s finger. He leans down and kisses her soft head.

“Hi little sister,” he whispers. “Welcome to the world.”

Hudson meets my eyes from across the room, pride beaming from him. My heart bursting with a new kind of love and happiness.

Our family finally complete.

The silence long forgotten.