Lost in You (17 page)

I looked up to find him watching me from the doorway, a glass of wine in each hand. He wore nothing but a pair of pyjama bottoms and his hair was wet from a quick shower in the shower stall. Dorian had insisted I let him fill the tub so I could soak.

‘Happy?’

My body was warm from the tub but still warm from pleasure too. Small aftershocks of desire sounded deep inside me and every time I let myself remember what we’d done, how it had felt, how it had ended, I felt a thrill in my stomach.

‘I am. I’ll be ecstatic if one of those is for me.’ I nodded to one of the wine glasses.

‘It’s your lucky day.’ He handed me one and sat on the lip of the tub. I took a sip and knew the wine I was drinking probably cost more than my favourite pair of shoes at home. And I’d saved for months to buy them for myself.

‘I ordered food,’ he said.

‘More food,’ I groaned, but then my stomach growled. ‘Actually, I am kind of hungry.’

‘We burned a lot of energy.’ Dorian waggled his eyebrows at me lasciviously.

He made me laugh. I trusted him, he made me laugh and I felt right when I was with him. I was screwed.

‘That we did. And the sun is down. I can hear the ocean.’ I took another sip and laid my head back, listening. ‘Isn’t that weird that it becomes background noise until you focus on it? Then it’s all you hear. The soft roar.’

Fingers smoothed over my damp bangs and I kept my eyes shut, enjoying the touch. ‘It is weird. I’ve wanted to be happy, wanted to find something … wanted it badly, but the want had faded into the background.’

Nervous energy danced in me as I listened to him. It was the feeling of recognition. I knew exactly what he was talking about. My own needs and desires drifting off to become nothing more than background noise.

‘Now that I’m listening to it, what my soul is telling me …’ He kissed my forehead. I felt that kiss a thousand times more than if my eyes had been open. ‘It’s all I can hear, Clover.’

‘I understand,’ I said. Because I did.

‘I hope you do. But I’m not sure. It seems almost too big to comprehend,’ he said.

I opened my eyes when I heard him get up. ‘I understand,’ I said again.

‘We’ll see.’ He winked at me and a gentle rap came at the door. ‘I’ll go get that. Take your time. I ordered food that will be just fine sitting for a bit. Steak sandwiches, salad, cheese plate. No need to rush.’

I shut my eyes again as he left. Too good to be true. And you know what they say about that. If it seems too good to be true … it probably is.

‘Just enjoy it for what it is, dummy,’ I whispered. ‘A fling.’ Despite how I might feel or how he thought he might feel, we were from two different worlds, Dorian and I. There was no way we could mesh those two worlds and make it work.

* * *

I came out of sleep hard, I was in so deep. I’d been touched. And I was still being touched. I stiffened, that old night-time fear rising up in me like dark brackish water.

‘Shh, it’s me. Don’t be afraid.’

There was a soft glow from the bathroom vanity light. Nothing more. I tugged my wrist against whatever Dorian was using to tie me to the headboard.

‘You said you liked the feel of it.’ He kissed my neck and, to my own surprise, I relaxed as he continued to tie me. ‘I thought you might want to play.’

Heat surged in my stomach. So forcefully that I felt my chest go rosy and my cheeks too. I watched him straddle me and then lift my other wrist. He was hard. His cock pressed against my belly as he tied the fabric tight to my skin.

‘What is that?’ I asked. My mind was still fuzzy from sleep but my body was awakening quickly. Eager to be with him. Eager to see what he had in store for me.

‘An old T-shirt of mine that was in my bag. It’s seen better days but the fabric is soft as sin. Which is why I refused to give it up.’ He finished the knot and ground against my belly briefly. Forcing all the air from me, both from the weight of him on me and the desire that had built in me. It was a crushing force now. I wanted him to touch me … everywhere. Take me. Make me say his name. Most of all, I wanted him to make me forget that in a few short hours we’d be having breakfast and breaking this magical spell to return home.

He moved down my body, kissing me as he went. I’d gone to sleep in nothing but a pair of panties and he seemed hell bent on peeling those off.

‘I was worried,’ Dorian said, licking the jut of a hipbone before nibbling his way across the place right above my mound. He made his way to the other hip so slowly I squirmed. I realised I was holding my breath when my head grew light and fuzzy.

‘Worried?’ I gasped. My voice gave everything away. All the restless, delicious need I was feeling.

He laughed softly, licked my smooth, shaved mound, and then my upper thigh. He didn’t stray anywhere near where I wanted him. So badly that tears began to distort my vision. Had I ever wanted a man so much I nearly wept with it?

No.

‘Worried that I’d scare you. I know that the night can be your enemy. I was afraid I’d trigger bad dreams or memories. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I went with my gut.’ He placed tender kisses along my sides and my body bucked involuntarily. Then his mouth travelled along my hips. I shut my eyes mentally, willing him to put his mouth on me. To lick me.

‘What did your gut say?’ I tried to focus on words, but anything beyond simple sentences eluded me.

‘To go slow. Be gentle. Let you wake up with my hands on you.’

With my hands on you …

My scalp prickled, my hips rose. I begged him with my body to put me out of my spectacular misery, but he didn’t. He just kept kissing his way slowly down my right leg. His tongue darted behind my knee and I groaned. It tickled, but also supplied a decadent rush of pleasure that caused my pussy to grow wetter. My body ached for him to fill it. I bit my lips, tried to breathe, refused to beg.

I wondered how long that would last. Probably not long at all.

He reached my ankle, licked my ankle bone. Took my foot in his big hand and rubbed his thumbs along the arch until I hissed and shifted under him. It felt so good, what he was doing, that it was almost painful.

Warmth and relaxation flooded my body and when he felt me go a bit slack, Dorian moved on to the other foot. He repeated the pattern. Kissed my ankle, worked my arch with a strong grip. No matter where he touched me or even how he touched me, every time his skin brushed mine the sensation snaked up my body, drifted over me and delved inside. As mysterious and as hard to define as smoke.

I had floated away in my mind to some serene white place where we were together. And that was all that mattered. He was here and I was here and there was quiet and welcome and no worries. It was perfect. It was bliss.

I was locked in that place, feeling his mouth travel the terrains of my body, listening to the ocean wage its nightly attack on the sands, when his mouth finally found what it had sought in its breathtaking, roundabout way.

His lips closed over my nether lips. His tongue parted me and found me swollen and sensitive. He nudged my clit with the tip of his tongue, taking a long time to make a single revolution. Then it was his flattened tongue he dragged over the tender knot of flesh. Without thinking I tested my bonds. I tugged and I moved fluidly, the way hair moves underwater. Drifting but with purpose.

‘Look at me, Clover,’ he said.

It never occurred to me not to obey. I opened my eyes and looked at him there between my legs. His dark-green eyes looking almost brown in the dim light.

I kept my eyes on him as he sucked at me, using his tongue to paint whorls and figures on my most tender skin. He sucked again and I felt that draw, that sensation, in the pit of me. My stomach clenched with sudden pleasure. I was almost there, right on the sweet razor’s edge. I had a fleeting moment to wonder if he’d let me come like this or if his intention was for us to dance around the actual orgasms all night. I didn’t know what I was hoping for, option A or option B.

He sucked hard again before driving the tip of his tongue against me until I surged up hard, feeling the sharp ridge of his teeth on my mons. I came, and a stream of words flew off my lips but I had no idea what they were. Just nonsense words.

He backed off, sat back on his knees and watched me as I tried to catch my breath. His fingers skimmed my legs and goose bumps rose up along the length of my calf. I wiggled my hips and tested my bonds and watched him watching me. My breath slowed.

‘Better?’ he asked.

‘Better because you just made me see God or better because I’m breathing again?’

‘Yes,’ he said and grinned at me. As always that somehow mischievous grin went right to the core of me. Made me want him all the more.

How did you stay away from this man all those days? How will you do it again?

‘Better on both counts,’ I whispered, wishing I could touch his hair. I would brush it out of his eyes where it had gotten just a touch too long. It made him look younger and a little more devilish. I pulled against my bonds as a hint.

‘Oh, no, sweetheart, you’re there for a bit.’ He kissed my belly and dragged his tongue over my hipbone. His hot breath blew on my damp nether lips, heating them.

‘No …’ I said, shaking my head. He wasn’t planning on doing it again, was he?

‘Yes,’ he replied. He slipped his hands under my legs and hiked them up onto his shoulders. His hands nestled under my ass cheeks and he tilted me just so, putting his face between my legs but not licking me. Just looking up at me. His eyes seeming to bore right into the centre of me. That small, still place inside me where the truth lives.

You love him.

I brushed it off, ignored the way my throat grew tight. I focused all my energy and my thought on what he was doing. On the fact that he was poised to make me come again. When he made me come it was like nothing I’d ever experienced. In the past it had been nice. I’d liked it. Now … I craved it. It was too big for words, too pleasurable for description.

His fingers curled against my skin and he gave me a squeeze. ‘Open your legs for me.’ He rested his chin on my mound, the weight and heat making me very aware of how naked I was. How intimate this was.

I started to cry. It mortified me and I wished I could hide my face but my hands were tied. He stayed that way, his fingers swishing back and forth on the tops of my thighs. The touch was soothing and my breath hitched in my throat.

‘What’s wrong, Clover? Shall I untie you?’

I shook my head almost frantically. ‘No, no … please don’t.’

His eyebrows rose but he didn’t speak. He waited for me to explain.

‘I just feel so … vulnerable.’

He nodded, stroking my skin. Then he sat up and straddled me. His fingers smoothed across the swell of my breasts and he toyed briefly with my nipples. He seemed determined to keep his hands in motion. To touch as much of me as he could.

He nodded seriously. ‘I feel that way with you. Vulnerable is OK,’ he said softly. ‘But sad is not. I don’t want you sad. This is intense – this kind of connection. Comes with the territory. At least for me. If you want me to stop, if you want me to untie you, you just need to say so. No magic words. Just say, “Dorian, stop,” and I will.’

‘Don’t stop,’ I said, instead. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be sorry. He leaned in and kissed my shoulder, licking gently along its slope and then up my neck. He cupped my face in his hands, smelled my hair, kissed me tenderly. ‘Do you feel connected to me, Clover?’

I nodded, swallowing around more unshed tears.

‘In an almost scary way?’

Another nod and a very small sob. How horrible for this to happen and yet, when I took a deep breath, it felt OK for him to see me this way. I couldn’t imagine why but all I had to go on was instinct, so I had to trust it.

‘Good. Then we’re on the same page, sweetheart.’ He covered me with his body once more, kissing me so long and so hard I could breathe again. His kisses didn’t steal my breath, they brought it back. ‘I feel the same way with you. So connected to you that it unnerves me. Makes my knees feel weak.’

I moved my body up under his. Begging him. Take me, use me, be with me.

He grinned and said, ‘I’m going to fuck you, Clover. I’m going to fuck you until you forget your name. But first I’m going to go down on you again.’

I groaned and wriggled under him. He laughed and pinched my nipples until they stiffened. Then, with a rakish grin, he moved back down between my thighs. ‘Don’t be that way,’ Dorian said. ‘You have one more left in you. I could taste it.’

I did have one more. I thought, as sensitive as I was, that it was false. But he pushed his hands, splayed flat, against my hipbones. He held me down and his lips dragged over my too tender clitoris. I hissed, bucked beneath him, but he held me submissive beneath him. Dorian latched his mouth over my pussy, licking and nudging me softly. Too soft at first. Then perfect. Then I needed more. I moved my body to tell him so. Meeting his open-mouthed kiss. Begging him to get me off again.

‘See. The sensitivity goes away. And all you’re left with is …’ His rigid tongue painted a line of heat along my drenched sex. ‘Wanting.’

His hands travelled up my body slowly. He took his time, feeling every inch of skin while his mouth continued to tease me. When he reached my breasts, he glanced up from between my thighs. I got the full picture then. His dark head and smug smile and flashing green eyes, all there betwixt my legs like some love god. I almost laughed but it was too pleasurable to laugh. He stroked my breasts with a gentle touch at first. Painting swirls on my skin with his fingertips. When my body started to grow rigid with the need to come, he pinched my nipples hard. It was so rough and so sudden it caused me to cry out. The shimmering flickers of pain coursed through me, the sensation mingling with the feel of his wet mouth on my pussy. I came, tossing against my bonds so that my shoulders screamed from the pressure and my wrists ached hollowly.

He drank in every last drop of me, lapping at my responsive flesh. I shook with the force of it, feeling the release of that moment down to my bones. And when it had passed, I felt loose and lazy. All the way down into the centre of myself.