Lost Innocence (13 page)

Still, what mattered for now was that Summer made him happy, and though he might be a minefield of emotions on the inside, at least she wasn’t making the situation any worse. Nor, considering their brief conversation just now, was Summer insensitive to what he was going through.

‘Hey Mum, are you going to have some wine?’ he shouted.

‘Lovely,’ she shouted back. ‘And can you bring the meat out now? This thing’s about hot enough.’

When he brought the tray and set it on the table next to her she could smell the beer on his breath, and turned to look at him. She wanted to touch his face and hold him, but knew it would be the wrong thing to do.

‘Mum, you’re too intense,’ he told her under his breath. ‘I’m fine, OK?’

‘Of course you are,’ she responded, affecting a laugh. Had Summer told him about their little chat? Or was she really overdoing the concern? It was the latter, of course, so she needed to ease up.

‘Please tell me I didn’t just hurt your feelings,’ he said, half irritably, half jokingly.

‘You didn’t,’ she assured him. ‘And you’re right, I am a bit strung out. I guess I’m still trying to get used to thinking of this as our home. Anyway, Uncle Robert was here earlier, he says hi.’

‘Here’s your wine, Alicia,’ Summer said, coming up behind them with a large glass of Chardonnay. ‘I poured one for myself too, I hope that’s OK.’

‘Of course,’ Alicia assured her warmly. ‘You must help yourself to whatever you like.’

Summer smiled and rested her head against Nat as he slipped an arm around her. ‘It sounds like mine?’ he said, as a phone started to ring inside the house. ‘It might be Simon Forsey, I sent him a text to let him know I was coming.’

Pleased to hear that he was already getting in touch with friends in the area, Alicia clinked her glass against Summer’s and gave her an impulsive hug. It was going to be all right, she told herself firmly. They’d get through these next few days just fine and that was as far ahead as she could dare to look right now.

‘Oh, so you decided to come home,’ Sabrina remarked crisply as Annabelle sailed in through the door, all jangling beads and a flouncy miniskirt that showed off most of her long bare legs.

‘Yeah, I thought I would,’ Annabelle chirped, going to yank open the fridge. ‘Have we got any Babybels? I’m starving.’

‘They’re in the second drawer, with the other cheeses, but don’t overdo it, we’re going to the pub for dinner.’

‘Cool. Georgie’s on her way over, can she come too?’

‘I don’t see why not. Is she staying the night?’

‘’Spect so. So, how did your sponsored walk go? Did you finish?’

Sabrina’s heart caught on a wave of unhappiness. Yes, she’d finished, but she’d felt no sense of achievement when crossing the line, only a return to the way her world was now, empty and sad on one side, full of guilt and confusion on the other.

‘Hello! Did you finish?’ Annabelle prompted.

Quickly assuming a playful twinkle, Sabrina said, ‘Provided everyone coughs up I have just raised one and a half thousand pounds for Shelter. Isn’t that amazing?’

Annabelle looked impressed. ‘Mega,’ she agreed, peeling
the thick red skin from a mini cheese and biting into it. ‘Wish you could raise that much for me. So where’s Robert?’

‘In his study of course. Actually, buzz through and tell him I’m about to pour us a drink. It’s high time he came up for air.’

Using the intercom linked to Robert’s study which was in a lavish sort of bunker at the far end of the garden, Annabelle said, ‘Earth to Planet Robert, earth to Planet Robert, come in for vodka tonic please, come in for vodka tonic,’ and letting the button go she flopped down at the table and opened that morning’s
Style
magazine.

‘Didn’t you bring a bag home with you?’ Sabrina asked, dispensing ice into two tall glasses.

‘Georgie’s mum’s bringing it in the car.’

‘So how did you get here?’

‘Someone gave me a lift.’

‘Oh? Who?’

Annabelle turned a page. ‘A friend. OMG, look at these shoes. They’d go really well with the purple dress I bought when we were in Bath last week, and they’re only four hundred and sixty quid.’

Sabrina slanted her a look, not entirely sure whether she was joking. ‘So, who brought you home?’ she repeated.

‘I just told you, a friend.’ She turned another page and bit into a second cheese.

‘Male or female?’

‘Um, let me think. Yep, I guess he must have been male, but before you start freaking out, no we didn’t stop on the way to have sex in the back seat.’ She popped the rest of the cheese into her mouth. ‘We did that last night.’

As images of the times she and Craig had made love in a car flashed in her mind, Sabrina cast Annabelle another look. She was being baited, she decided, and choosing not to rise to it, she poured two generous measures of vodka over the ice before returning to the fridge for the tonic. ‘So what’s his name?’ she asked, trying to keep it casual.

‘Who?’

‘The boy who brought you home?’

Annabelle shrugged. ‘Dunno. I didn’t ask.’

Sabrina sighed with exasperation. She was trying so hard
to engage, but was receiving nothing in return. ‘Annabelle, why does everything have to be so difficult with you?’ she asked, trying not to sound as though she was nagging.

Annabelle threw out her hands. ‘You’re asking the questions, I’m answering, so what’s difficult about that?’ she cried.

‘We used to have lovely conversations about all sorts of things,’ Sabrina reminded her. ‘Now I barely get a sensible word out of you.’

Annabelle put back her head. ‘Um, let me see, and that would be because…Oh yes, I’m stupid, don’t have a brain in my head and am a total waste of space.’

Sabrina looked at her aghast. ‘What on earth…?’

‘It was a joke!’ Annabelle cut in.

‘Did anyone ever say those things?’ Sabrina asked, horrified in case she had.

‘Duh! I just told you, it was a joke.’

As Annabelle went back to her magazine Sabrina stood staring at her, wanting to say more, but unable to put the words together for fear of where they might lead. ‘Ah, darling, there you are,’ she said, as Robert came in through the back door. ‘I thought I should drag you out now or you’ll be in there all night.’

‘Good thing you did,’ he responded, going to wash his hands at the sink. ‘I was starting to fall asleep. Still a bit jet-lagged, I guess. Hi Annabelle. How’s tricks?’

‘Everything’s cool,’ she replied, still scanning the magazine as she gave him a wave.

‘I got your text,’ he told Sabrina. ‘So, I owe you five hundred pounds. Well done. How many miles again?’

‘Twenty,’ she replied, handing him a towel. ‘A cheque will do, I know you’re good for it.’

He smiled and leaned forward to kiss her briefly as he dried his hands.

‘I thought we’d go to the pub for dinner,’ Sabrina said, rehanging the towel and passing him a drink. ‘Annabelle and Georgie are going to join us.’

Robert immediately looked uneasy. ‘Uh, I was thinking I might light the barbecue,’ he said. ‘It’s a nice evening, and we haven’t used it yet this year.’

Sabrina frowned. ‘I’ve already booked a table,’ she informed him.

‘It’s easy enough to cancel.’

She was staring at him hard. Then, realising what the real issue was, the colour started to fade from her cheeks. ‘Maybe I don’t want to cancel,’ she said stubbornly.

‘Maybe you do,’ he said pleasantly.

Sensing the tension Annabelle looked up. ‘It’s just the pub,’ she told them, ‘what’s the big deal?’

Ignoring her, Sabrina said to Robert, ‘Could we have a word, please? In private?’

‘Oh, don’t mind me,’ Annabelle said, closing the magazine, ‘I’m going up to my room anyway. Send Georgie up when she arrives.’

As the door closed behind her, Sabrina waited to hear footsteps disappearing down the hall before turning back to Robert. ‘I take it your sister’s going to the pub tonight,’ she said tightly.

He nodded and sipped his drink. ‘She’s meeting Rachel,’ he said, ‘and unless I’m gravely mistaken, I thought you’d prefer not to be under the same roof as her – or in the same garden, given the weather.’

Sabrina’s face was becoming more pinched by the second. ‘I don’t see why we should change our plans because of
her
,’ she said bitingly.

‘Then go,’ he replied, ‘but if it’s all the same to you, I’ll stay here.’

Her drink hit the worktop with a clang. ‘This village is our home,’ she fumed, ‘it’s where I live and I have every right to go to the pub whenever I choose.’

‘I’m not arguing, I’m just saying I’m not going to spend the evening ignoring my own sister, which is what you’ll want me to do, and nor do I want to bear witness to some embarrassing confrontation between the two of you. There are other pubs…’

‘Then let her find one. We’re going to the Traveller’s.’

‘I just told you, I’m staying here.’

Since he knew full well she wouldn’t go without him, her frustration almost hit boiling point. ‘So what happened
when you went round there today?’ she demanded, making a valiant effort to hold back her temper.

‘Nothing
happened
. We had a cup of tea and chatted for a while, then I left.’

‘Did you find out what her plans are?’

‘Yes. She’s staying here in Holly Wood and sending the children to Stanbrooks.’

Sabrina’s jaw dropped as her eyes rounded with horror. ‘But she can’t,’ she protested. ‘Nathan’s at Westminster. Craig would never have wanted him to leave.’

‘At risk of pointing out the obvious, Craig no longer has a say in it. The London house has been sold and all their personal belongings are due to arrive tomorrow.’

Sabrina looked as though she’d been slapped. ‘Let’s go to the Wheatsheaf,’ he suggested. ‘I’m in the mood for a good steak and theirs rarely fail to hit the spot.’

‘So what’s she going to do here?’ Sabrina demanded. ‘Become one of the idle rich, I suppose?’

‘Actually, she’s going to open the shop and sell her sculptures,’ he answered, not enjoying this very much, in spite of how relaxed he was managing to sound.

Sabrina was staring at him in mute disbelief.

‘She’s hoping to champion some local talent too,’ he continued, deciding to get it all out. ‘She’s describing it as an arty kind of gift shop.’

Sabrina’s eyes blazed. ‘We don’t have
gift
shops in Holly Wood,’ she spat scathingly.

He almost smiled, but managed not to.

‘Next thing she’ll be trying to bring in tourists and that’s not what this village is about. We don’t want outsiders tramping all over our streets, staring in our windows and taking our parking places.’

‘She needs to make a living,’ he said quietly.

Sabrina glared at him incredulously. ‘Are you seriously asking me to believe…’

‘She’s had to sell the London house,’ he interrupted, ‘but I’m not going into any more detail than that, because it wouldn’t be right when you feel the way you do about her.’

So thrown by the fact that Craig hadn’t left his family as
comfortably off as she’d expected, it was a while before Sabrina could say, ‘Funny how you never have a problem being loyal to her, but when it comes to me you seem to forget the meaning of the word.’

He kept his eyes on hers until she realised how inappropriate her comment was, particularly considering how he’d stood by her when she’d got herself into such an appalling state after being forced to break up with Craig.

‘I’m sorry,’ she mumbled, ‘I shouldn’t have said that.’

‘Why don’t you start giving some thought to apologising to her?’ he dared to suggest. ‘Since you’re going to be living in the same village, you’re bound to run into one another …’

‘I have nothing to apologise for,’ she cut in angrily. ‘Not to her.’

‘How can you say that when Craig was her husband…’

‘So it was for him to apologise to her, as I did to you.’

Sighing, he picked up his drink and took another sip. ‘I don’t know why you’ve always had such a down on her,’ he said. ‘You took against her right from the start…’

‘Excuse me!’ she cut in savagely. ‘She’s always considered herself better than everyone else…’

‘If you’d ever bothered to get to know her properly you’d know how wrong you are.’

‘What about her getting to know me? She could barely bring herself to speak to me when we first got together.’

‘I surely don’t need to remind you how sick Darcie was at the time.’

‘Other people who have sick children bother to be polite. She didn’t even come to our wedding. And in case you’ve forgotten, I was always a very generous hostess whenever they came here, which is a lot more than I can say for her when we were in London.’

He blinked in amazement. ‘You clearly have a very different view of hospitality to mine,’ he told her, ‘but this is a fatuous argument that’s getting us nowhere. The problem today, as I see it, is that you can’t face up to your own guilt, and unless you do, you’re the one who’s likely to suffer the most.’

‘Really?’ she snapped nastily. ‘We’ll see about that. She might have been born in this village, but I’m the one who’s
lived here for the past twelve years, and I’m the one who’s on the parish council. So that tacky gift shop of hers? It’ll happen over my dead body.’

As the door closed quietly behind him Sabrina sank down at the table and buried her face in her hands. She wanted to cry and scream and tear out her hair, she felt so wretched and ignored. No one was sparing a thought for how Craig’s death might have affected her, and the struggle to keep her grief hidden was getting harder all the time. Now, with Alicia showing up and planning to stay, it was as though someone up there was trying to punish Sabrina by making her seem more insignificant than ever. God, how she detested Alicia for being the wife everyone sympathised with, as though she was the only woman who’d ever mattered to Craig. If it weren’t for his children he’d have left her two years ago, and how desperately Sabrina wished he had, because there was no doubt in her mind that he’d still be alive now if he’d found the courage to leave and make a new life with her.

Chapter Six

Alicia was standing at the back of her mother’s charity shop, in the space she was intending to use as a studio. To anyone else it probably wouldn’t have appeared at all inspiring, but with her artistic eye she was able to see past all the cobwebs and mice droppings, rotting boxes and books, cracked windowpanes, grimy sink, rusty pipes and peeling paint to a large, bright room with French doors opening to a small back patio with its bedraggled flower pots and the outside loo (as yet unexplored). Though the space was smaller than she remembered, it was definitely big enough for her to work in, while the shop itself offered plenty of room for display stands and cases, and a deep bay window where prize pieces could be exhibited to the passing world.