Lost Soul (25 page)

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.
 
It was…different…back then.”

“How old are you, Michael?” Paige asked in surprise.

“Oh, I’m not that old,” Michael chuckled at her assumption.
 
“I’m pretty much the same age as Jessica — 37.”
 
The surprised looks begged for an explanation.
 
“Guardian angels are created with a specific human in mind.
 
They go through training while the child is in the womb.”

“So you were created just for me?” Jessica asked in awe, her eyes sparkling with love.

Michael dropped his head.
 
“No, I was created for someone else.”

“But, I thought you said you were my guardian until you were reassigned?”

Michael sighed, wishing there was a way to erase the shame of his past transgressions.
 
“I saw you from heaven one day when you were just a baby, Jessica, and I thought the angel who was supposed to be watching you wasn’t doing a very good job.
 
I decided to intervene.”
 
Falla shot Michael a withering scowl.

Jessica’s smile warmed at the idea of him protecting her even when she wasn’t his assignment.

“I fell in love with you the moment I saw you, Jessie, and I didn’t want to leave your side.
 
I abandoned my training and refused to leave till they agreed to let me be your guardian.
 
But I wasn’t meant for you, Jessica, and my selfish desires have hurt everyone else along the way.”

Jessica’s face clouded with confusion.
 
“I don’t understand.”

“Do you remember Colby Conrad, Jessica?
 
The little boy who had CP?
 
It’s my fault he was handicapped.
 
He was the child I was meant to guard.”

Jessica gasped at the memory of the little boy who could barely even lift his own head.

“I was with you when I was supposed to be guarding him.
 
After he was born disabled, I knew I couldn’t stay with you any longer, I had to do the right thing and leave.”

Jessica nodded in understanding.
 
“I always wondered what happened to him when his family moved.
 
Is he all right?”

“He died.”
 
Michael buried his face in his hands and cried for all the pain and loss he had caused.
 
Jessica wrapped her arms around him in comfort and sympathy.

“I was reassigned to Maxwell after that,” Michael explained, leaving out the details and drying his eyes, “and I’ve been with him since 1985.”

Jessica sensed there was more to the story, but she didn’t want to pry.
 
She could see how much the memory affected him.

“So, now you’re supposed to be guarding this Maxwell guy, right?” Zach asked, “So who watches him when you’re with Jessica?”
 
His question was innocent, but Michael burned with shame at the answer.

“No one,” he replied, hanging his head.
 
“Every moment I spend with her I leave him unguarded; I put his life at risk.”
 
Michael dared to lift his eyes to Jessica’s. “I’ve always let my feelings for you cloud my judgement, Jessica.
 
I make the wrong choice every time.
 
That’s why I stay away for so long.
 
I try to be a good guardian, to focus on Maxwell and forget about my feelings for you, but I just can’t make myself stop loving you, Jessie.
 
No matter how hard I try.”

Jessica coughed out a laugh.
 
“I know the feeling.”

“I know, Jessica.
 
I know I have some kind of unnatural effect on you that draws you to me despite my flaws.
 
As happy as I am that you’re always eager to see me, it breaks my heart that you’ve wasted your whole life waiting for me to show up.
 
I’m a failure as a guardian and a failure as a human, Jessica, and I’m sorry I tried to be both.
 
But I’ve made up my mind.
 
I’ll never leave you again, darling, as long as you’ll have me I’ll always be yours.”

Jessica’s heart broke at his confession.
 
He was willing to give up his supernatural nature just to be with her?
 
“Michael, you know there’s nothing I rather have than you by my side for the rest of my life, but how can you do that?
 
What about Maxwell?”

“There are other guardians that can take over for me.
 
God won’t leave him alone for long,” Michael answered, praying it was true.

“So, God will just let you quit?” Paige asked, boggled by this incredible story.

“I honestly don’t know what will happen if I refuse to go back, but I’m willing to take my chances to be with Jessica,” Michael answered, taking Jessica’s hand.

“No, Michael, I can’t let you do that,” Jessica replied, pulling her hand out of his grasp.
 
“Don’t you understand?
 
I’m just a human, Michael, a simple girl with an unimportant life.
 
I can’t let you forfeit your destiny for me.
 
You have a purpose that’s so much greater than loving me.”

“There’s nothing in the world more important to me than you, Jessica.
 
I finally understand that,” Michael replied, his eyes filled with a lifetime worth of love and regret.

Jessica gulped down her own regret.
 
She’d waited so many years to hear Michael say those words, and now when he finally said them she knew she couldn’t accept them.
 
“I could never live with myself if I let you do it, Michael.
 
I can’t be the reason that an angel falls.”

Jessica turned her back on him and walked over to the window to hide her tears.
 
An hour ago he was proposing marriage and now she knew she had to say goodbye forever.
 
Michael assumed all the guilt for his indiscretions but Jessica knew she was just as much to blame.
 
What kind of woman seduced an angel, for heaven’s sake?

“Jessica?” Michael said, placing his hands on her shoulders, hoping she’d turn into his embrace.

“You need to go back to Maxwell, Michael.
 
What if he’s in danger?
 
I can’t be the reason that somebody dies,” Jessica replied, struggling to hide her emotions.
 
There were too many for her to understand.

“I’ll take you home.
 
I try not to leave him during the day.
 
We can talk some more later.” Michael nodded.
 
Jessica just needed time to process everything he had told her, he decided.
 
She would come around in a few days.

“Are you ready to go home, kids?” Michael asked Zach and Paige.
 
“You have my number if you want to talk.
 
Maybe we can get together again sometime soon?
 
I’m sure you have more questions and I’d really like to get to know you.”

The teens nodded, still in awe at the whole encounter.

“You don’t know what it means to me to know that you’re both alive.
 
I’ve never felt so much joy in my entire life,” Michael smiled.
 
The teens took turns hugging him and saying their goodbyes and soon they were back in Jessica’s bungalow marveling again at their mode of transportation.
 
Michael waited till Zach and Paige left then turned again to Jessica.

“I know this is a lot to take in, Jessie, and I will understand if you don’t ever want to see me again, but please know that I meant what I said before.
 
I want to marry you, Jessica; I want to be with you forever and I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”

He refused to believe this was goodbye forever, so he didn’t allow himself a lingering goodbye.
 
He gave her a kiss and disappeared right before her eyes.

chapter twenty-two

Michael waited an agonizing three days to hear from Jessica and it felt longer than all the previous years they had been apart combined.
 
He had feared that Jessica wouldn’t believe his fantastical story but he’d never guessed she’d believe him and still turn him away.
 
It made his guilt at the thought of leaving Maxwell even greater, but it didn’t diminish his desire to stay with her even one bit.
 
He worried if he did leave Maxwell for good, though, would Dominion Emit come and banish him from Earth?

He was also desperate to get to know his children and he was itching to call them and set up a time to meet, but he wasn’t sure how they felt about him and he wanted to let them make the first move.
 
He never imagined he could be a father, and he marveled at the idea of having creating another being.

Their stories were incredible and he was curious how much of them was human like their mother and how much was angelic like him.
 
Were their spirits immortal like he imagined or would they eventually die of old age?
 
What was the extent of their powers?
 
Could they leave their host bodies at will and conjure new flesh?
 
His boundless curiosity raised its head till it was all he could think about.
 
His spirit was with Maxwell but his heart and his attention were both miles away.

In his desperation to hear from someone, he had switched his phone from vibrate to full volume, so he could hear the sound the minute anyone called.
 
When it finally rang on Friday evening he had never been so glad that Maxwell was taking a shower.
 
He answered the phone immediately, not bothering to find a private spot.
 
He knew Maxwell wouldn’t be able to hear him over the sound of the running water.

“Jessica!” he exclaimed, his heart expanding to twice its normal size.

“Hi, Michael,” she replied.
 
He could hear the hesitation in her voice and knew it wasn’t a good sign.

“Jessica, I’m so glad you called; you’re all I’ve thought about since the moment I last saw you.
 
Well, you and the children that is.
 
Have you talked to them at all?”

“Yeah, that’s actually why I’m calling,” she explained, but her voice held a hint of happiness and he knew she was glad to be on the line.
 
“They would really like to spend more time with you, they have a million questions as you can imagine.”

“Name the time and the place, darling, and I’ll be there in a heartbeat,” Michael declared.

“Well, they were pretty impressed with your magic travel skills and they were hoping maybe you’d be willing to take them to New York to see where you live.”

Michael chuckled.
 
“That would be amazing, Jessica.
 
I’d like nothing better.
 
You’re going to come, too, right?
 
I miss you so much I can’t hardly stand it,” he admitted, his voice husky with need.

“I miss you, too, Michael,” Jessica answered, her voice barely more than a whisper.

“When can I come for you?”

“Maybe tonight when Maxwell’s in bed?
 
That’s what you usually do, isn’t it?
 
To minimize the risk?
 
I can get a couple hotel rooms for the night and take them sight-seeing tomorrow.”

“That sounds perfect, Jessie.
 
I’ll come for you the minute Maxwell goes to bed.
 
I love you, Jessica; I can’t wait to hold you again in my arms.”

“I love you, too, Michael,” Jessica replied, and the lump in Michael’s throat threatened to choke off his air supply.
 
He hadn’t lost her after all, he smiled, and blew her a kiss goodbye.

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A few hours later, Jessica, Zach and Paige were anxiously awaiting Michael’s arrival in the living room of Jessica’s bungalow when Michael rang the doorbell.
 
Jessica laughed as she opened the door to him, a giant smile stretching her cheeks.

“What’s so funny?” Michael asked, grabbing her in his arms and nuzzling his face against her cheek.
 
His mouth trailed a line of kisses from her ear to her nose, finally landing on her lips.

“We were expecting you to just appear,” Jessica explained when he finally freed her lips, “not ring the bell.”

Michael shrugged.
 
“Just trying to be polite.”

A few minutes later they had picked up Rachel and Rider and were standing in the middle of their hotel suite, jabbering away.
 
Michael was torn between his desire to learn every detail about his children and his longing to whisk Jessica away for a passionate embrace.
 
He decided his time with Jessica could wait till the children were asleep, but it didn’t stop him from fantasizing about what he wanted to do with her later.

The teenagers peppered him with questions about heaven and angels and life as a guardian and their fascination delighted him, but he really wanted to find out more about them.
 
All in good time, he figured, grateful that they were so willing to believe everything he said.
 
He supposed their strange body-sharing experiences had made them more open and accepting than the average human would be.
 
He was amazed at the way they had found each other and were brave enough to reveal their secret.