Lost Voice of the Grand Final (3 page)

Chapter 7

I call at the henhouse on my way home, but I'm too late. They already know. ‘Heard you found the voice of Carrot the Parrot,' says Clara the Clairvoyant. ‘I knew you would.'

Well I've found the Coach's voice. Recorded in the TV studio and on Talkback radio. But unfortunately it's not in his throat, working now.

‘So you're the hard-boiled detective?' says Rooster loudly. He makes the same joke every time we meet. It isn't funny I just wish my Z-com would ring so Rooster'd think I'm busy. But it doesn't.

Clues, the French chick smiles.

‘If you can't fix something, change the way you look at the problem.'

‘Carrot was here and he told Rooster a practice wedding joke. So he still had it then,' says Clues. 'Would you like some help with this case?'

I shake my beak. 'Not yet, thanks.' Unless it's a French mystery, where you have to speak French, I think I'm better at the job.

Clues, the French chick is persistent. ‘Some birds don't talk at all. Parrots can be trained to say ‘Hi' or bark like a dog. Others are multi-lingual in French, Spanish and Chinese, Some go for walks like a dog, with their owner holding the leash. Others can sing opera.'

‘Great, but Carrot just wants to get one voice back. His own.'

Rooster interrupts. ‘Did you hear the news?'

Clara says, ‘I know. The Creepy Crawlies made it to the Grand Final. The Birds were so glad that the Felines got knocked out in the semi final. The Birds wanted to play footy, not get eaten.'

The ROAR of the crowd was recorded on the Big Screen as Carrot led them onto the field for their victory parade.

Carrot's Voice boomed, from the recycled TV program tape

I had edited all his other coaching hints. Plus his TV commentary.

He mimed as if he were speaking.

Then, up on the Big Screen, the Creepy Crawlies ran out, in time to their team's song.

Later that afternoon the all-female Creepy Crawlies drew the Grand Final. Coach was speech-less. Especially when he discovered next day that the Bride followed that team! There's a re-match next weekend. But Beak is on his honeymoon, and can't play.

Chapter 8

I flash my ID at the gate.

‘Hi Ben, I've found the Voice of the Coach.'

Ben was thrilled. ‘Where was it?'

I'm not quite sure how to tell Ben this news.

‘In one way, the Coach's Voice wasn't lost.'

‘What do you mean,' said Ben. ‘Carrot couldn't even croak. Are you trying to tell me, that he's learnt sign language?'

Carrot the Parrot always had used sign language with his players. Some signs were very clear. And a few were a bit rude.

My mind-reading skills had been no use on this job. I must pay credit to the Hens, especially the French chick Clues.

They told me about the Runner.

‘During a match, the Coach gives instructions to the players, via his Runner. The Runner goes and tells the player what to do. The Runner is called the Coach's Voice. And he's been around all the time. He never was lost. The Runner was at the Grand Final. He is the Coach's Voice.'

Ben is silent at the end of the phone, so I keep going.

‘So although the Coach had a sore throat and couldn't talk, he still had a voice in the Runner. Of course, Coach also uses sign language!'

Ben asked me the question I was hoping he'd forget.

‘But what about the Wedding?

How can Carrot MC the wedding? He can't have a Runner there.'

I didn't tell my agent Ben, exactly what the bride had said to me about Carrot not being able to talk at HER wedding. That would have been rude.

Beak and the Bride have made other arrangements. ME! Well, I can read minds and I knew they were going to invite me to MC their wedding, so I offered. No charge.

They said I had such a great voice, especially after Lesson 101 from the Voice Coach online.

That birdseed wedding cake was memorable. And so were the speeches, especially Beak's to his Bride.

And who do they get to captain the Birds in the re-match? Well, that's another story.