Lost World (34 page)

“Shit,” Jon mutters.

The doctor nods solemnly. “Yes. It could be a coincidence, though. It’s always possible other factors were in play. The mother had been under a lot of stress and she was about a month early. It’s hard to say for sure. We’re just going to have to wait and see what happens. Luckily, you don’t have to worry about that.”

He taps the chart in his lap with his pen, looking me over. “So let’s get some medical history, shall we? You said your first name was Jenny?”

“Ginny,” I say, “G-I-N-N-Y. Short for Virginia.”

The doctor nods and writes it down. “Last name?”

Shit. I hadn’t thought about that. My last name has always been Lucas. Maybe this guy won’t make the connection, but maybe he will. Doctor or not, I don’t want him knowing who I am any more than anyone else.

Jon grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. “Our last name is Lewis.”

The doctor looks up. “You’re married?”

“Officially, no.” Jon shrugs like it’s nothing. “We consider ourselves married, though. I figure a piece of paper doesn’t really matter anymore, right?”

Dan shrugs as well, then goes back to writing “Good point. Age?”

For the next thirty minutes, he asks me every question imaginable, and I answer all of them honestly with the exception of one. Is there a chance I have an STD? There is. I don’t know how many other women that bald prick raped before he got his hands on me, and I don’t want to think about it. But I do know it’s something I’m going to have to address with the doctor at some point. Specifically, when Jon isn’t around. Talking about it all will be hard enough, but talking about it in front of Jon is impossible. I do not want this
thing
hanging over us anymore than it already does.

When we’ve finished going over all the details, Dan walks us out of the building. “We’ll see you every two weeks just to make sure everything’s okay. I’m hoping to have an ultrasound machine in a couple weeks, and that will help us get a better idea of what’s going on. We’re a couple blocks from clearing out the street with an OB/GYN on it, so fingers crossed.” He holds a bottle of pills out to me, and I find them in my hand without really knowing how they got there. “In the meantime, try to eat well and take these. You should be good.”

I stare at the little pills like they’re poison. They make this all feel so much more real, and for a few seconds I can’t catch my breath. Right now, my stomach is more uneasy than ever. Still, there have been several times over the last few days when I thought about this baby and almost felt excited.

I never thought I’d feel so torn when this moment came for me, that’s for sure.

Dinner takes us to the college dining hall, and we finally get to see the population of Hope Springs together. It’s so overwhelming it makes me freeze in my tracks and takes my breath away, and it isn’t even everyone. The people on guard duty aren’t present, and I overhear one woman say there’s a group out scavenging in the nearby town of Duncan. Just like the group that picked us up. Even with them gone, the hum of voices is louder than anything I’ve been around in weeks. It makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

Out of habit, I look over my shoulder. Like the laughter and conversation will draw a horde of zombies our way. My body hasn’t adjusted to the fact that we are in a relatively safe place. A building, surrounded by guns, with armed men guarding the gate. There aren’t any hordes here. Still, I can’t help the hitch in my pulse or the way my eyes won’t stop scanning the room. It just feels wrong.

“This is weird.” Gretchen gnaws on her bottom lip and tugs on her hair, looking as uncomfortable as I feel.

Jon is like a statue next to me, his hand resting on my lower back. “Yeah. It seems so loud…”

“Culture shock,” I mutter, mostly to myself.

“Yeah.” Jon takes a deep breath and nods toward the line. “We should eat. Try to meet people. Try to get comfortable.”

“But not too comfortable,” I say, allowing him to lead me toward the back of the line. “Never too comfortable.”

He nods once. “No. Never too comfortable.”

Gretchen doesn’t say anything, but she follows us. Like me, she’s scanning the room. I have a strong suspicion she’s looking for her new friend, though.

“Did you have a nice time with Mark?” I ask, taking the tray Jon holds out to me.

Jon chuckles, and the sound eases some of my tension. I like his laugh more than anything else in the world right now.

Gretchen’s cheeks turn pink, and she sticks her tongue out at Jon. “Yes.”

“You behave yourself?” Jon asks in a deep voice, probably trying to sound like a father figure.

Gretchen rolls her eyes, but she’s still smiling. “The world may have ended, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to jump into bed with the first guy I meet. Geez.”

Good to know.

Jon chuckles again, and I find myself smiling as the line moves forward. Gretchen stands in front of me, muttering to herself as she slides her tray along the rack. The food comes into view, and my stomach does something halfway between a growl and a lurch. It’s a feeling I’ve never experienced before, being hungry while simultaneously wanting to hurl.

Jon glances my way, and the smile melts off his face. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” I pause and swallow when foul-tasting saliva fills my mouth. “My stomach’s just a little uneasy.”

Jon pats my hand and gives me a sympathetic smile. “Even though I know it sucks, it’s a good sign.”

“Of what?” I ask, swallowing again. It doesn’t really help that much, not with the steaming food only two feet away from me.

Gretchen smiles when the worker slaps a spoonful of imitation mashed potatoes on her plate. I should be salivating after a week of almost no food, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to get anything down. Still, I know I have to try, so I hold out my tray and allow the woman to drop a pile of the white mush onto it.

“That the pregnancy is progressing okay,” Jon says.

I can’t remember the question, so I turn to him and arch an eyebrow.

“The morning sickness.”

“Oh.” I swallow again and scoot my tray forward.

I’m not sure whether or not that news makes me happy.

Once our trays are full, we make our way into the dining area. People watch our progress. Even though I know it’s because we’re new, it doesn’t stop my scalp from tingling. Hopefully, no one recognizes me.

Someone waves from a table to my left, and I turn to find Richard smiling. He’s watching Gretchen, but the expression on his face is easy to read. Grandfatherly. Emotional. There must be something about the teen that reminds him of a lost loved one.

“Sit here and I’ll introduce you around.” He pats the chair next to him, the same easy smile on his face when he looks Jon and me over.

“Thanks,” Jon says, taking a seat across from the older man.

Gretchen and I follow, and Richard seems disappointed when she doesn’t sit near him. Gretchen keeps her eyes on her tray and her back straight. Like she’s noticed the extra attention he’s giving her and it makes her uncomfortable. I don’t distrust this man. After my time at the Monte Carlo, I feel like I can easily pick up on someone’s bad intentions. Richard seems to genuinely want to get to know this girl.

But it’s bothering her.

“Tell us about yourself,” I say, smiling at Richard. “How long have you been here? Where are you from?”

Richard nods as he presses his lips together, then leans back in his chair like he’s getting settled in. Must be a long story.

“Well, I’m from a smaller town not too far from here, and that’s where I was when this whole mess started. I was a diesel mechanic and my daughter was living with me, granddaughter too until recently. Sarah, that’s her name, is twenty. She got married to her high school sweetheart right before the virus got real bad, and they were down in South Carolina on their honeymoon when travel got cut off. My daughter got sick and died real fast, but I’m not sure about Sarah and her new husband. King was his name. Last I heard, they didn’t get the virus. I’m still hoping they made it out of Charleston and show up here one day, but I know the odds aren’t good.” He pauses and presses his lips together, then looks at Gretchen. “You remind me of her. She has red hair, too.”

Gretchen visibly relaxes. She brushes the hair out of her face and twists it into a knot at the back of her head. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, we’ve all lost loved ones. It hurts, that’s not something I can lie about, but I’m trying to be strong and work toward moving forward. That’s what we all got to do.” Richard nods once, then picks up his fork.

The mood is noticeably more depressing when he starts eating, and I feel bad for bringing him down. Then again, it’s hard avoiding the past, and there isn’t a single one of us who doesn’t have a severely depressing story. Even people like Moira, who managed to make it through the outbreak relatively unscathed, now have scars.

“I want to help clear the streets,” Jon says, making Richard look up from his plate. “I think you guys are right about the winter slowing the dead down, and I want to do everything I can to help fortify the city while we have the chance.”

“We need all the help we can get.” The huge smile Richard tosses his way shows how grateful he is that Jon volunteered.

Jon’s absolutely right. We need to get moving, and every person gets us that much closer to our goal: a zombie-free city.

“I can help,” I say, drawing the eyes of the two men toward me.

Jon shakes his head. “No. Absolutely not.”

“This is no time to be sexist,” Richard says, smiling like he thinks Jon’s behavior is cute. “We need all the help we can get.”

“Sorry, but it isn’t happening. This doesn’t have anything to do with being sexist. Ginny is pregnant, and we need to protect her and any other woman who gets pregnant.” Jon points his spoon at my stomach. “That baby is the hope for our future. If we ever want to rebuild, then we need to repopulate.”

I bristle when he lets my secret slip without even the slightest thought as to how I’d feel about it. I don’t want everyone knowing right now.

Richard shakes his head and I’m sure he’s going to be on my side, but he looks at me and frowns. “He’s right. Plus, they won’t let you out there anyway. We have to think about the big picture.”

I scowl into my potatoes as I push them around on my plate. They look even more unappetizing now than they did a few minutes ago. The Salisbury steak next to them reminds me of a mud pie, and the gravy has started to cool and congeal, giving it a lumpy look that turns my stomach inside out.

I don’t like being coddled, but I guess they have a point. I’m a valuable commodity, and I have to take care of myself and this baby. Like it or not, we are the future.

Or some shit like that.

23

“A HUNDRED PEOPLE?” LILA’S EYEBROWS SHOOT up so fast they look like they were launched from a slingshot.

“That’s what they told us,” I say, leaning against the kitchen island.

Brady presses his lips together as he stirs whatever he’s cooking in that huge pot of his. Rice and some canned chicken and veggies, along with some spices. Some kind of soup, I’m assuming. Whatever it is, it smells amazing.

“Hope Springs isn’t far,” he says, staring at the broth as it swirls around in the pot. “We could take a trip up there and stake it out.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Anne says from the table. Her eyes have dark rings around them and she looks so pale you’d think she was getting over the flu, but she’s trying.

I’m not sure where Sophia and the kids are, but almost everyone else it outside unloading the Sam’s truck after our trip to Duncan. I only came inside to bring some of the jackets and boots we found for the kids—just like I thought, the thrift store was a jackpot. So it’s just Brady, Anne, Lila, and me in the kitchen at the moment, but I’m okay with that. I want some people on my side before we talk about it as a group.

Axl is adamantly against going to Hope Springs. Angus keeps accusing him of being jealous, but the more I think about it, the more I realize there’s more to it. The looks Dax gave me didn’t set off warning bells in my head, but I can see why they might for Axl after what happened in Vegas. If he had gotten to that hotel room a few minutes later…

I don’t even want to think about it.

I shudder and cross my arms like I’m hugging myself.

Staking out Hope Springs sounds like a good idea to me. There wasn’t anything about the group we met in Duncan that had me worried, but that doesn’t mean I want to rush over there without doing a little planning first. It pays to be cautious.

“Personally, I think it would benefit us to check it out,” I say. “Even if we decide it’s safe, I’m not saying we need to pack up and move over there. But it would be good to know we have neighbors we could go to when we need help.”

“I agree,” Anne says.

“I’m with you all the way.” Lila nods emphatically.

I turn to face Brady, only to find him studying me with those sharp eyes of his. He’s standing on a stool so we’re practically at eye level, and the look he’s giving me makes the hair on my scalp prickle.

“Axl doesn’t think so,” he says calmly.

I let out a deep sigh. “No.”

“Any particular reason?”

“He’s just being overly cautious. One of the men in this group looked at me a few times, and I think it made Axl uncomfortable. Remember how we told you about the shelter we had before and how some men ran us out?” Brady nods, and I squeeze myself tighter when my insides prickle from the memories. “There’s more to it than that. These same men had a place in Vegas. They kidnapped me and Hadley. There were other women there too…” I have to pause and swallow when a lump forms in my throat.

Brady raises his hand. “Say no more. There’s no need to explain. Despite his biological connection to Angus, I don’t see Axl as a particularly impulsive person. And he isn’t stupid. If he has concerns, I think we should take them seriously. But I agree with you as well, and checking the place out wouldn’t hurt.”

“So you’ll be on my side when we get ready to talk about it as a group?”

Brady arches an eyebrow in my direction. “Not that I think my opinion will hold much weight, but yes.”

“You’re wrong. This isn’t a dictatorship, we make decisions as a group,” I say, pushing myself off the island. “I’m going to head outside and see if I can help get some work done.”

Lila bounces after me, her dark hair swishing behind her. “I’ll help too.”

She and Al always look happy, but I’m not sure how they manage it. I love Axl and being with him makes life worth living, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say that either one of us is happy.

“Things must be good with Al,” I say when we stop by the door to put our shoes on.

“They are.” She smiles to herself. “Is it weird? Before all this started, I thought I had it great. I mean, I had
everything
I wanted. But I realize now I didn’t have any of the important stuff. I was an only child and my parents were hardly ever around. Even when they were, they didn’t act like they were the least bit interested in me. I had boyfriends, but they didn’t care about getting to know me, and my friendships were mostly competition. Who had the newest clothes or the most expensive car…. It was all dumb.”

I stand up and meet her gaze, and she flashes me a hesitant smile.

“Now you have a family,” I say, reading between the lines.

“I do, and it’s great.” She nods, but her mouth pulls down. “I do wonder what happened to my parents, though. They were in Paris when travel was cut off. Do you think it’s like this everywhere?”

Her bottom lip quivers, and for the first time in a long time, I see her for what she really is. A kid. Just seventeen. I remember being that young and thinking I was so grown up and mature. Now, only a little over three years later, that person seems more like a toddler.

I put my hand on Lila’s arm and give her a smile that I hope is comforting. “I’m sorry, Lila. I’m sure it’s hard not knowing what happened, but we all know this thing spread. Even before communication was cut off, there were stories of it hitting Europe. I don’t think they were spared.”

She lets out a deep breath and nods. “You’re right. Even if you weren’t, it’s not like they’re going to fly back here one day and start looking for me. I doubt they ever gave me a second thought.”

She looks down, and I feel like I just slapped the poor girl. It sucks, but I couldn’t bring myself to lie.

After a few seconds, Lila turns away and heads for the door. I follow her in silence.

Outside, the sky is clogged with clouds, and the wind is so cold it makes me feel like my body is one giant goose bump. I wish we could just pull up a weather app and figure out how much more snow to expect. I hug my jacket tighter against my body when an icy gust of wind howls between the houses. Thank God we got those kerosene heaters. It will make sleep a lot more comfortable tonight.

Lila and I head toward the others, who are busy unloading the truck. Stacking food in one garage and building supplies in another. We pass the one that now serves as our barn, and I can make out the sound of the chickens through the closed door. In the distance, I catch sight of Angus down by the fence, where he’s already started attaching barbed wire. Parvarti is with him.

All this activity has me feeling hopeful again. We’re making progress, and suddenly the future doesn’t look quite so grim. I feel like we have a chance now, more than ever before. Even in the shelter, although I’m not sure why. Maybe because this is closer to being normal. Living underground would have kept us safe, but it wouldn’t have felt anything like normal life.

“Gonna go out huntin’ in a bit,” Axl calls when he sees me.

His forehead is beaded with sweat and his jacket is off, leaving him in nothing but a gray T-shirt. It makes me cold just looking at him.

“You and Angus?” I ask, coming up beside him.

Winston is in the truck, bringing flats of food to the back where he sets them down so Axl can drag them to the garage. I grab a couple massive bags of rice and follow Axl, who’s carrying what looks like fifty cans of soup.

“Or Parvarti,” he says with a grunt. “Be nice to get a deer so we could feed the whole group.”

No kidding.

“Sounds good,” I say.

“Tomorrow we’re gonna head out to get them MREs finally. Need to start lookin’ for lots of fuel too. What we siphoned in town ain’t gonna last us long.”

He drops the cans on top of the others already stacked in the garage, then turns to head back. I throw my rice down and jog after him.

It has to be close to six by the time we get the vehicles unloaded. By then, I’m sweating just as much as Axl was, and my stomach is growling so loudly I’m seriously considering ripping into some of the food we have lined up in the garage. Brady made dinner, though.

I head to the house with the majority of the group while Axl goes to check on the progress Angus and Parvarti have made. It’s going to take days to get that barbed wire all the way around the neighborhood, though. If we have enough. Angus took every inch they had at both Lowe’s and Home Depot, but I’m not convinced it’s going to cover the area we need it to.

“I’m starving!” Al says, rubbing his stomach as we step into the house.

The soup smells even better than it did earlier, making my stomach growl even louder. But food isn’t my first priority—even if my stomach hasn’t accepted that. I want to broach the subject of Hope Springs with the group while Axl is still outside.

We head to the kitchen, where Brady is already setting out bowls filled with steaming soup. He also has crackers out and a big fruit salad made from some of the canned fruit we brought back today. I know health food nuts complained about all the processed food in this country, but now that the apocalypse has hit, I’m so thankful we loaded our food with chemicals that will keep it from going bad so fast. We’re going to need it while we work at getting back on our feet.

The generator is off to conserve fuel, but one of the kerosene heaters is running and Brady has candles lit all over the room. Their flames flicker across the faces of my friends as they settle in for dinner. The atmosphere is relaxed and content. Nice. I don’t want to put a damper on things, but I think a discussion about Hope Springs is important.

Once everyone has started to dig in, I clear my throat. “I wanted to let everyone know what we learned today while we were out.”

A few people look my way, but most are too occupied eating. We did work up quite an appetite unloading that truck.

“We ran into a group who says they’re from that college town,” I say, continuing even though only a couple sets of eyes are on me. “They say they have some of the city cleared out and they’re working on taking the whole place back. Apparently, they have quite a big group. A hundred people.”

More people look up with each word that leaves my mouth, and by the time I stop, all eyes are on me. Even the few people who already knew about it are looking my way. Angus, Axl, and Parvarti are the only people missing, and the only ones who would most likely be opposed to checking the place out.

“They were friendly?” Joshua asks.

I nod and glance toward Winston. “I thought so.”

Winston looks across the room, maybe to judge the reactions of everyone standing around him, and his eyes stop on Joshua. “They were. We felt it was something we needed to discuss, but the man we spoke to said it was an open invitation.”

“Invitation?” Sophia says.

“They want us to come there,” I reply.

No one responds for about ten seconds, then Al says, “Did you ask about Hadley and Jon?”

“We did,” I say with a sigh. “No luck.”

Al nods and Lila pats him on the shoulder, but everyone else just stares at me.

“You’re not seriously considering going there, are you?” Joshua asks.

“Why not?” Sophia says, scooting to the edge of her chair like she’s considering heading out now. “More people means more help. It means we could make it further.”

“Or be more of a target,” Darla points out.

Sophia runs her hand over her belly and frowns. “I’m scared. We’re in the middle of nowhere and no one of knows the first thing about roughing it. How are we going to do this on our own?”