Love and Hate (12 page)

The kiss continues on for
probably a few more seconds, until I push him back ending probably the most
intense kiss in the world.

I stare into his blue eyes that
are now dark with hunger.

 He looks at me shocked but also
aroused. If self-control didn’t exist, we would probably rip each other clothes
off right now in the middle of the hallway.

 I snap out of his gaze and
quickly run outside.

That’s it. I did it. I got it out
of my system and now it’s over.

God please let it be over.

Donovan

All I can do is stand there. That
kiss was probably the best kiss I’ve ever received from a girl.

Did she bite my lip?

 I touch my bottom lip. I see the
blood on my finger. Holy shit she bit my lip…and I liked it. Hell I loved it.

 I didn’t even expect her to kiss
me I just wanted to let her know. I just wanted to let it out. I guess she has
been feeling the same pain as me, the feeling of keeping everything in, our
emotions, sexual tension, everything. 

“Holy shit dude.” I look up to
see Emile with his eyes wide open in complete and utter shock.

                        Did
he just see us?! I could have sworn I didn’t see anyone in here.

                        “Emile?”

“Yep” He says still with his eyes
wide open.

“Did you see anything?”

“I didn’t see anything.”

“Emile”

“Okay maybe I did just walk in….
on you and Claudia Stonem kissing.”

“Shit”

“What the hell are you doing
dude?!” Emile says frantically coming up to me.

“You won’t understand man.”

Okay well why don’t you try
explaining to me because that was not only a kiss, but one of those movie type
kisses. Man, I swear I saw her like bite your lip or some shit”

“Listen, just pretend you didn’t
see it okay?”

“Come on man I can’t ignore that.
Listen if you don’t tell me I swear I will tell Ella.”

“Really we’ve been friends for
how many years and you’re going to snitch on me?”

“Oh come on, don’t try that shit.
This type of stuff needs to be told because if you haven’t notice…she is the daughter
of Henry Stonem!”

“Would you be quiet” I say
pushing him toward the side of the hallway as people are walking through. “Okay
you really want to know?”

“Start talking jackass.”

Claudia

I went back to my usual self
after that kiss. It’s a month and I still haven’t even looked at him. The only
thing is that it hurts worse now. When I feel him near me, it hurts. I
shouldn’t have kissed him again because now I can’t stop thinking about him at
all.

 It’s like that song Bloodstream
by Stateless. It’s one of my favorites. One of the lines in the song is
I
think I might have inhaled you.
Well, I definitely think I inhaled Donovan
Pierce and I think he’s rushing through my entire body.

 But it doesn’t matter because I
can’t be with him. I just can’t. It’s been a month since that kiss and
everything is still the same, but some things have changed. My father is on the
news more in his fight against the mob. There are also talks of Roman Pierce
around the town and people’s opinion about him. More people are starting to
believe he is actually straight now, but of course my father doesn’t. Julia
looks sadder every day. I just ignore her now. We haven’t really spoken a lot
since that night. My dad is never really home either.

Tonight I’m going to talk to
Eric. I can’t believe he still won’t let it go. He calls and texts me every day
like some psycho. I never answer or respond and he still does it. It became so
annoying that I actually changed his name in my phone to a period. Like literally
his caller ID is a dot because that’s how I feel. He is nothing but an end to
my past and I’m fine with that.

I’m just going to talk to him
because his friends are bothering me and acting dramatic by saying they’re
worried about him. Please, he’s fine. He has been hooking up with Naomi
Winthrop, of course I know. Jade knows all the gossip, so nothing gets pass me,
especially since I found out Eric was cheating. I’m not shocked by any of this.
Naomi always wanted him and she can definitely have him.

 I wish my mom was here. She
would have all the solutions to my problems. She would tell my dad to stop
being a dick and pushing me to be with Eric and going to Princeton. She would
definitely help me with my addiction to Donovan.

He is my addiction and I haven’t
even been addicted that long. I relapsed once but I can’t again. I would love
for him to be my future but he can’t. Maybe after I graduate I will meet
someone new that will make me forget all about him. I would love that, but then
I would probably hate it.

I get out of my car to walk into
Kelly’s. It’s the place some of us go after school. They have great cheese
burgers and the best milkshakes.

I walk in to see Eric sitting at
our usual table. I walk towards him and sit across from him. He smiles at me. I
have to admit he does have a nice smile, but it’s a nice smile that I would
love to smack.

“Hey” He says.

“Hey” I say nonchalantly.

“So I didn’t think you would show
up.”

“Well you and Dean didn’t really
give me a choice when he kept calling my phone last night talking about he was
scared for you.”

“Dean is just being dramatic.” I
know.

“He just knows how much I miss
you, so he would say anything. But I am glad to see that I still matter to you.”

                        “Yeah”
I continue with my nonchalant attitude.

“So, I wanted to talk about the
fact that these last couple of months I’ve been thinking a lot about us. I miss
you Claudia. I miss us and I feel like we should try again because I love you
and I’m so sorry for how I treated you.”

“Eric, I appreciate that you’re
sorry I really do but, I’m just not trying to be with anyone right now. I
really came here so we could hopefully get some closure because truthfully, I
felt like we began drifting apart a while ago.”

“How?” I start hearing the
attitude in his voice.

“Well you and I don’t really have
things in common.”

“Yes, we do”

“Like what?”

“Like the fact that we have the
same goals. We want to go to Princeton. We want to be in Politics.”

“What? No I’ve never said that. I
said my father wanted me to go to Princeton and last thing I remember you said
you wanted to be in Politics and that I will be your hot housewife.”

“Okay so what’s wrong with that?”

“That’s not what I want. Eric I’m
eighteen years old. I want to live life go on an adventure and do things that
make me happy. I hate politics, I don’t want to go to Princeton, and I’m sorry,
but I don’t want to be with you.”

“Are you seeing someone else?”

“What?! No, and if I was it isn’t
any of your business.”

“You know you can be so selfish
sometimes. We dated for a year and you’re just willing to throw it all away
like that?”

“Well Eric some things have to
come to an end. I now see that for a year, you did not listen to one thing I
had to say, so I have to go.”

“I’m not finish!” Eric says
grabbing my arm as I try to rise out of the booth.

“Let go of me, Eric” I say
calmly.

His grip gets tighter.

“Eric, let go” I say trying to
loosen his grip.

“Is everything okay here?” I turn
around immediately once I recognize that voice. It’s Emile, Donovan’s short
friend. I have class with him so I recognize his voice because of his thick New
York accent.

“Why the hell do you care?” Eric
asks letting go of my arm and getting out of his seat.

“Hey Anderson, I was raised to
treat a woman with respect okay and from what I see you’re not really doing a
great job of that.”

“Listen Emily, Rico, or whatever
your name is, this is between me and her” Really Eric? Rico?

“Well I see that, but you know
it’s always polite to ask a woman if she’s okay, when you see her in trouble. Isn’t
that right, Mitch?” Eric and I turn around to see Mitch standing over us. Mitch
is one of the cooks at Kelly’s and whenever there is a fight Mitch is the guy
to stop it. He’s 6’6 and very muscular.

I glance at Emile, then at Eric,
whose face dropped at the sight of Mitch.

“Yeah.” Eric says quietly. He
looks at me and shakes his head. “Whatever, you’re lost.”

Eric pushes pass Emile and heads
out of the diner.

I instantly laugh. I look back to
see Mitch going back into the kitchen. I turn to Emile who finally lets out a
sigh.

“Whew, I actually thought I had
to fight that guy. You know Anderson is pretty big and I’m on probation.”

“Probation, for what? Isn’t your
father a lawyer?”

“Hey were from the Bronx and I
like to steal sometimes, ask my therapist.”

I laugh again at the short
adorable curly black haired guy who came to my rescue.

“Well, Thank you. I’m shocked you
helped me.”

“Well, let’s just say someone
wanted to help, but they knew you didn’t want them too.”

“What?”

“Hey I’m just a messenger. See
you around.” Emile says leaving out the diner. Is he talking about Donovan?!

I run after Emile outside the
diner.

“Emile!” He turns around to face
me. “Who are you talking about?”

“Hey just leave it alone, okay?”
He says waving his hands heading to his car.

“No Emile, please tell me what
you know.”

“Will you come out now?!” Emile
says screaming.

“What?” I ask looking at him
confused.

Suddenly I hear footsteps from
the closed gas station next to Kelly’s. It’s really dark so I can’t see who it
is. Finally he comes closer. It’s Donovan.

 He stands there in his dark blue
denim jacket, black v neck shirt, black jeans, and black sneakers. He looks
good as usual. It’s the first time I set sights on him fully since our kiss a
month ago.

“Yeah, so I’m gonna go.” Emile
says quickly in our awkward silence. He quickly jumps in his car and drives
off.

I look around to see if anyone
else is outside. There isn’t. It’s funny how every time Donovan corners me
there isn’t anyone to witness it. I look inside diner. There is only five
people and they’re all older and look like people from out of town and it’s
eleven o’clock at night so I’m sure no one is here that know us. I look back at
him to see him still staring at me with those captivating blue eyes. He looks
really nervous. It’s annoying and cute.

“What are you doing?” I ask with
an attitude.

“I was already here with Emile
and we saw you. We saw Eric and you arguing and we thought you needed help.”

“We?”

“Yeah”

“So he knows?”

“Well, um, yeah.”

“You told him!” My voice rises as
my anger increases.

“No.”

“Yes, you did!” Don’t lie to me.

“No! I didn’t! He saw us okay. At
the event when
you
kissed me, he saw us.”

“You have got to be kidding me.”
I say turning around heading for my car.

“He isn’t going to tell anyone.”
He says following me.

I stop and turn around quickly to
face him. “And why the hell should I trust you people”

“You people?” I hear an attitude
in his voice. Oh shit. I guess that was mean. “You know you have a lot of
nerve. Who the hell are you to judge my friends and family?”

“Well, let me see the fact that
your father is a known crime lord!”

            “You don’t know shit about my family!”
He yells walking up to me. I have to admit I am very scared right now. “You
know you walk around and act like miss perfect every day when in reality your
just a scared little girl.”

            Who the hell does he think he is? No way
am I letting him get away with that.

            “You don’t know me, okay?” Really
Claudia, you couldn’t come up with a better comeback?

                        “Oh,
really?”

“Yes!”

“I know that you’re Claudia
Stonem. You’re eighteen years old and you love food, your friends, and your
dick of a father. So far you have four smiles. One when you’re uncomfortable.
One when you’re annoyed. One when you’re upset and one when you’re happy which
so far I’ve seen when you’re around food. You want to go to NYU. To do what?
The hell I know, but I would like to know. Your mother died when you were
younger and you’ve missed her ever since. You wear your hair down and sometimes
you wear it up. I prefer it down it brings out your eyes to me. Finally, I know
that for some reason you decided to be what people expect and want you to be,
which includes being head of all these school events and crap which clearly you
could care less about, and date an asshole just because your daddy plays golf
with his. I know that you’re not really happy and that you can’t wait to get
the hell out of here and live your life and find out who you are because right
now you don’t know. So instead of whining to yourself and keeping your emotions
built up, why don’t you get a grip and grow the hell up.”