Love and Language (8 page)

“Please, Sir,” she said.

Now, he’d give her everything. He licked her clit until she came. Before her pleasure stopped, he slid on protection and filled her pussy. Staying deep inside of her, he took a second to get control. He wanted to tell her how he felt, but it wasn’t the time. They needed the play and not the emotional ties right now.

Her hips lifted as much as they could, but he ground to her until she shook. Their mouths fused, and she whimpered as she tried to coax his tongue into her mouth. Finally, he gave in and fucked her hard as his tongue plundered her mouth, and his hands gripped her ass.

Thrusting through one small release, he felt her body tighten again. Rubbing her clit, he watched her face contort in pleasure as she screamed. Her body arched to him and froze. Inside, her body kept working, squeezing his cock until he snapped. Fucking her hard, he lost control and held her hips as he climaxed with his face buried in her neck.

“Thank you, Sir,” she whispered.

He didn’t want to move, but he had to. Untying one of her hands, he slid from her and sat on the bed. “You’ll tell me tomorrow?”

She nodded and looked away. Was she lying or had he simply broken the mood too soon?

“Tell me about the piercing.” She touched it with her free hand. “Did it hurt?”

He held her wrist. “I’ll tell you everything once you tell me.”

“So no anal sex tonight?” she asked.

He exhaled and shut his eyes. How could she be so eager yet so closed off at the same time? “You want it?”

“Yes. You promised you’d fuck me every way.” She blushed.

“You don’t deserve it yet. Maybe, once you’ve told me everything.” He’d punish her his way until she came clean.

“Tomorrow. I don’t want to ruin tonight or for you to have all of this on your mind during your meeting.” She fell back in the pillows.

“I can handle whatever it is. I’m not a child.”

“I know that,” she said calmly. “I’m sorry you were bullied. You clearly overcame it well. I love how strong you are inside and out.”

“I started lifting weights to build muscle. But I still like beautiful things. And I like controlling my sex life.” He ran a hand over her stomach. “I like who I am. I like you, Jane. I want to know all of you so we can move forward and make this real, not stolen time.”

“I know. It’s just so fast and so intense.” She looked at the clock. “It’s not even ten. If you want to go, I don’t blame you. Sleep in your own bed before your meeting. You don’t need tension from me.”

He knew that meant there was no hope of getting her to talk until noon tomorrow. “I’d rather stay if you want me to.”

She stayed quiet.

“Just nod if you want me to stay.” He couldn’t believe how stubborn she was being.

Jane untied her other wrist and sat up to get her ankles, but her head never nodded.

“Fine.” He grabbed his stuff and left the bedroom. Dressing, he couldn’t believe how infuriating she was! He had to be in love, or he’d lost his mind.

This time there was no bluffing. He left.

Chapter Seven

Jane anxiously watched the clock and prayed Ben’s meeting went well. It was her slow day with one early class and office hours later. She’d made roast beef sandwiches and gotten the kettle chips she’d seen him eating around campus.

How could she have let him go home last night?

She went out to the common area of the English department and got another cup of herbal tea to calm her nerves. If she’d let him stay, odds were she’d have told him everything. He didn’t deserve that pressure or information before such a critical meeting in his career.

Bridget walked up and poured herself another cup of coffee. “How’s it going?” she asked.

Jane’s hand trembled as she shook her head as she tried to put honey in her tea.

“Need to talk?” Bridget offered.

“Nelson told you?” Jane whispered.

Bridget led the way to Jane’s office, and Jane closed the door behind her.

Jane sat down and wanted a glass of wine instead of tea. “Is there some secret dungeon on this campus?”

“No. There’s no dungeon on campus. Nelson didn’t tell me anything. Ben has come to some of the social stuff, so if you’re closer to him than a friend—and it was sort of obvious you are—then it’s an easy jump to the conclusions that you’re a submissive.” Bridget shrugged and drank her coffee.

Jane shook her head. “So you knew, and you played like it was all innocent?”

“I dropped a few hints for you to tell me. Are things better with you and Ben?” she asked.

“He wants me to tell him everything. He’s basically made it an ultimatum.”

Bridget’s eyebrow rose. “That seems extreme.”

“Well. I couldn’t tell him during play.”

“What is so bad? I’m sorry. It’s none of my business. You know, if you were abused that doesn’t make you a sub. Ben isn’t new at this. He can handle it.” She nodded.

Talking made Jane feel better, but her relationship still hung in the balance. “I know. I’ve done the research, and he’s certainly not my first Dom. It just never meshed before.”

“Meshed?” Bridget repeated. “I need some clarification. What didn’t mesh?”

Jane took a drink of her tea then a deep breath. “Before, Doms only wanted to play. I never had one who wanted it all. No relationships beyond sex. I knew I wanted more with someone, but before in big cities, it never happened. What I said I wanted on the blog, I want it with Ben and it almost seems possible.”

“But you never dated someone you were playing with?” she asked.

“No. I lived in big cities, and I could go to clubs. I’d play in private rooms, not the public areas. I love it here, but there’s no anonymity.”

“That’s really lonely. The social stuff the group does is fun.” Bridget smiled.

“I still can’t believe your guy is… I had no idea.” Bridget, her guy, Nelson and Ben. Jane definitely wasn’t alone.

“Me either until I started that blog. He didn’t want to be public, either. Slowly, I got him to be more social. There are safe places to talk and let both sides of your life mesh. Just hanging out with people who understand is freeing.” Bridget pulled back her sweater. “I’m not collared. Nothing extreme. It’s just my sex life that’s kinky.”

Jane actually felt a little better knowing she wasn’t totally alone, even if it didn’t work with Ben. “I love him. It’s insane.”

“Not really. It’s scary when it’s right, but he’s no stranger. There’s no rush to get married. Just tell him the whole truth.” Bridget checked her watch. “Sorry, I’ve got a class. You’re okay?”

Jane nodded. “Thanks, I feel better.”

“Okay, text or call me if you need to talk. I love test day. They work, and I’m flipping through wedding magazines.” She left with a smile.

* * * *

Noon came around, and she stared at the door. She should’ve gone to him instead of telling him to come here, but he shared an office. If the other guy was back, then her office had more privacy.

At two minutes after twelve, he knocked. She got up and opened it. It felt silly, but she wanted to be closer to him with no desk in between them.

“Hi, how’d it go?” she asked.

He looked good as he walked in. Confident and calm. “Fine. They’ll meet and let me know this afternoon. Right now, you’re the one who needs to do the talking.”

He sat and set his cell phone on the desk.

“Still mad? I’m sorry about last night. I should’ve asked you to stay. I do have a stubborn streak. The truth isn’t very interesting.” She sat down and fidgeted with the papers on her desk.

“Do I need to tie your hands to the chair?” he asked.

“Might help.” She chuckled until she saw the real threat in his eyes. He’d do it. “No. I’m fine.”

“Tell me about your family. Growing up,” he said.

She frowned for a second. “That’s not really all that it’s about.”

“Humor me,” he said.

She shrugged. “Really it’s such a boring story. My dad left my mom when I was about seven. He didn’t like being tied down with a kid. Mom started dating and drinking. I tried to stay in my room when her boyfriends were around until she married one.”

“If he touched you—” Ben cut off his threat.

His wanting to defend her was sweet. “He tried once. I screamed and told.”

“Good for you.”

“And my mother sent me to spend the summer with my grandmother. She didn’t totally believe me.” Jane had told the story so rarely, and it was so long ago it felt like someone else’s life.

“I don’t like your mother.” Ben shook his head.

“Neither do I. After Grandma’s, I stayed with a cousin of my mother’s. A single mom with two girls. It was great there, but she couldn’t really afford me. She had to send me back to Mom, and I refused to go. I even threatened to run away. By then, I was twelve and started to develop. I told her what had happened, and she reported it.”

“Your cousin did the right thing, at least.”

“She did, but Mom wasn’t married to him anymore, I don’t think. I offered to get a job, babysit, anything to make enough money to stay with my cousins. I helped her out with chores and cooking. Her ex didn’t pay support for his kids. My father never sent support for me. It’s like a game. But reporting that my stepdad tried to touch me meant the system found out about me. I was in.” She shook her head. “My cousins still regret that.”

“Foster families from hell?” he asked.

“Just moving all the time. Everything was temporary. One place, a foster brother would try to grope you, so I either ran away or reported it and got in trouble myself. Finally, I was put in a group home, and that was the best thing. I stayed in one place and got through high school. I was always a good student and got a scholarship for college.”

He rounded the desk and pulled her from the chair, hugging her tight. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you. But that’s not really what you need to know.” She kissed his neck.

“What?” He pressed his forehead to hers. “We were both shuffled around through our childhoods. Mine obviously was much better than yours. I had two parents and two brothers there for me all the time.”

“I wish I had real siblings. Being alone was the worst part. Everywhere was different, and not knowing anyone made it hard to know who to trust if something did go wrong. I told you early on I don’t have good luck. It’s true.” She closed her eyes and tried to figure out how to leapfrog from dysfunctional childhood to adult.

“College was good?” he asked.

She smiled. “College was great. I had a full ride for undergrad and worked to save up for grad school. I felt safe for the first time in my life. All the other girls worried about being on their own and gaining weight or date rape. I’d learned to knee a guy in the nuts before I was thirteen. Anyway, I did my masters at the same place because I got another partial scholarship there. I worked tutoring kids and taught some intro classes to cover my expenses.”

“When did you get kinky?”

“I always was. I guess. A boyfriend when I was an undergrad introduced me to the fun of being tied up and spanked. He wanted to go further into multiple subs and really kinky stuff, so we broke up. But he’d already introduced me to a local dungeon in the city.”

“You did dungeons? You little tease.” He hugged her tight.

She relaxed as his arms pinned her in. “Not really. I met the Doms there, and we used private play rooms. I never got as deeply into the play with people watching. I needed intimacy even if it was just the illusion of it.”

“They hurt you? I never would.” Ben kissed her forehead.

“No, well not in any wrong way. They respected my limits and played, and it was over. I never met anyone and had a relationship along with kink. That first boyfriend doesn’t really count because he had other girls on the side. I found that out later. I was one of many girls he introduced to the lifestyle. I’m not a harem girl.”

“Damn right.” Ben looked her in the eyes. “And here? Do I have any competition?”

“God, no. I came here for my PhD. It was affordable, and I had some student loans that I’d used to pay for a car and other necessities. Plus I took on more for the PhD. I loved it here. It’s a quiet college town where I’d made friends, so I stayed when they offered me a job. But there are no dungeons for miles. I couldn’t play with people I might know. I just couldn’t.” Tears slid down her face as she tried to figure out how to say how she really felt.

“What?” Ben held her face. “I don’t care if you have some debt or not. I don’t care if I never meet your mother or your father. They don’t deserve you. I don’t want to travel around and move every year like when I was a kid. I like this little college town, too.”

“The age thing.” She sniffled as he wiped her tears away.

“I don’t give a damn about it. Neither should you.”

“I don’t care. I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never dated someone I was playing with. I feel like a virgin or something. I never loved any of the Doms I was with. I liked the sex and trusted them to respect me, but this playing and dating is new. It’s scary.” She buried her face in his shirt.

“You love me?” he asked.

Her face felt hot as she nodded. “That’s not the point.”

He laughed. “Okay. I have some experience you don’t. You have some experience I don’t. Once I get my PhD, the only difference in our careers is time and your tenure. I’ve dated women who liked to sub, but honestly, I never fell for a sub until you.”

She looked up at him. “Don’t tease.”

“Not about this. I love you.” He cupped her chin and kissed her hard.

Her toes curled, and the tingling sensation slid up the rest of her body as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I do love you,” she said.

His grin made her want to smack him, and she kissed him instead.

“It’s a first for both of us, and we’ll make it work. If you trust me.”

She nodded as his words registered deep inside her. “I do trust you. I don’t want to screw it up. All my life, no one wanted me enough to pick me over everything and everyone else. No one kept me. I understand my cousins, but it’s just a pattern, and that fear was too big to hide.”