Authors: Jennifer Duffey
“I love you, Eric. That’s why it doesn’t matter what Logan does
—he will never have my heart. This scares the shit out of me though. I mean, love is supposed to take forever to find. We haven’t dated for that long, and so far it’s been a pretty rocky start.”
When he lowered his lips to mine
, I didn’t stop him. There was no point; it was what I wanted. Our mouths melted into one, our tongues danced a slow, sensuous dance. Amazingly, we kept our hands under control. The urge to touch him, to lift his shirt and feel the smooth skin of his taut stomach built, but I hadn’t lost sense enough to forget we were in public.
It was Eric who ended our embrace. He released my hand then grasped my cheeks. “Everyone’s different, princess. Too soon, too late, there’s no timeline that dictates that label. It’s you and me. Slow, fast, day-to-day, you lead. I’ll follow. But only if you promise to give me a chance to apologize when I fuck up. Because we both know I will.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
A week after getting home from California,
Alec sat on my couch eating while we waited for Logan to come over. Eric was missing, but he was busy. To help offset the costs of school he’d started teaching hip-hop classes at the local youth center.
“
You seem content. I take it Eric has been on his best behavior,” Alec asked around bites of pizza.
“
We're working on it. It shocked me when he showed up at the airport. He's trying. That much I have to give him.” I adjusted on the couch, pulling my legs up under me.
“
Before the trip I asked you what had happened between the two of you. You said you didn’t want to talk about it then. But you wear your emotions on your face. Even though I didn’t have details, I knew you needed a break whatever was bothering you, that’s why I didn’t discourage Logan when he told me about his plans. If you’re ready to talk, I’m ready to listen.”
While I ate a piece of the veggie pizza Alec brought with him, I worried about how quickly
things were moving with Eric. Since I still didn’t know who told the truth, Mom or Eric, I had doubts. My boyfriend had a better track record than my mom when it came to not having secrets, but I couldn’t let go the possibility that Mom wasn’t telling a complete lie.
“Thank you for not
pushing before. It was my mom. She made some accusations that I asked Eric about. Said they’d paid him to be my bodyguard.”
My best friend sucked in a breath of air and held it. I wondered for a second if he was going to breath
e again.
“Please tell me it was all a lie.”
“That’s the problem. Alec, I want things to work with him. Is that wrong? Some days I panic that I’m going to find out Mom was telling the truth when she told me about the guy they hired. Like this is all a dream between Eric and I, and I’ll wake up to learn he’s actually my bodyguard. Then other days I am confident my mom was lying.”
We sat in silence for a while. Alec wasn't known for impulsive answers. He may have had a love 'em and leave 'em reputation with his boyfriends, but when it came to advice
, he took his time. Let his thoughts simmer and responses formulate. So the silence didn't bother me—too much.
I relied on his advice. Alec seemed to know exactly what to say and how to say it so I stayed on the right track. Of course
, for his suggestions to really work I had to listen to him—which I didn't always do—but when I did heed his recommendations, things generally turned out all right.
“
Baby girl, I'm not sure this is something I can help with. Your mom put ideas in your mind that made you question Eric. Made you question the trust you placed in him. You're the only one who knows when things will be okay between the two of you. Your heart will give you an answer, but I have no idea how long that will take or what has to happen.
“
What I can say is this: you love him. That much is evident. Take that love and figure out what else you need. Whatever happens, know that your heart won't lead you astray. Your head will get in the way and make you question everything. That's okay. I wish I had a better answer for you, baby girl.”
“
You did help. My heart says I'm doing the right thing. It's my doubt and past holding me back.”
“
Of course it is. It's supposed to. That's how we keep from repeating history and making the same mistake twice.”
Alec to the rescue. He hadn't provided a direct answer that I could follow step by step, but he gave me a boost of confidence.
“I'll be back. If Logan gets here, let him in please. Oh, and Annabelle will probably come home early.” I gave him a hard look. Alec didn't like Annabelle all that much. Every time they were near each other I had to remind him to be nice. “Don't make me send you home when she gets here.”
I left him on the couch with the remote and pizza, knowing when I came back he'd either have an MMA extreme fight on or some kind of do-it-yourself show. Alec was an enigma to most. I loved him for that.
Back in my room with the door shut,
I sat on the corner of my bed. My foot thumped loudly against the hardwood floor, waiting for Eric to answer.
“
Hey,” he said as soon as the line connected.
“
Hey.”
“
Everything all right?”
“
Yeah, why wouldn't it be?”
He hesitated, the only thing coming through his end of the call was his unsteady breathing.
My anxiety went up a couple of notches. Why did my calling cause him to react like this?
“
I didn’t expect to hear from you tonight, just a little surprised. That’s all.”
Yeah
, but I wanted him there. Needed him.
“
Any chance your schedule has changed?” Eric needed the money, and wouldn’t take me up on my offer to help out, so I didn’t want to ask him to come over if he had to work.
“
Actually, it’s been canceled. I was getting some studying done.”
“
Great! I know you said you wanted to catch up on a couple of classes.”
“Carissa, what do you want to ask me that you’re avoiding?”
Ugh. There were occasions that it sucked to have people who knew me so well. “I don’t want to mess up your night.”
“Fine. How about this? Give me twenty minutes to wrap up what I’ve been working on and I’ll come over.”
“Thank you, Eric.”
“
I'd do anything for you.”
I breathed a sigh of relief, and
the constriction in the center of my chest eased a little more. Things would be okay if I let them and went with my gut, rather than my head. Satisfied and hungry, I rejoined Alec in the living room and helped myself to another piece of pizza.
With half
of dinner gone and three sodas finished, Alec and I spread out on the couch, ready to burst. Our legs tangled together in the middle. When a knock on the door sounded, I hollered for them to come on in. Eric shut the door behind him then stared at us.
“
Well, don't you look comfortable?”
“
We are. But I'd be more comfortable if I had your lap to lie down on. The arm of this couch is too hard, and it hurts my neck. Alec is whiney tonight and won't let me lay on his lap.”
Alec stuck his tongue out at me
, and I did the same to him. Eric shook his head at our antics. But he came to my side of the couch, sat down, and then pulled my shoulders down to rest on his thighs. More sure of our relationship, it felt good to touch Eric, to be close to him, and have him with the group. I loved Eric. Just thinking those words sent my heart soaring.
CHAPTER TWENTY-
FIVE
Alec stretched his arms over his head and
yawned. It was late, and Logan still hadn't arrived. Since he was supposed to bring a friend to meet all of us, no one wanted to leave. But we had class in the morning.
“
I can't hold out much longer. Whoever this person is can't be a student here.”
“
Probably not, but I'm still curious.” Eric ran his fingers through my hair. His touch was soft, and my eyes were growing heavy with sleep.
Nosy, gossipy boys. Unlike Alec, Eric would never actually admit to being either, but I knew he liked to hear what was going on just as much as
my best friend. My head rolled forward until my face was buried in Eric's leg. I groaned when he moved his fingers from my hair to my back and drew squiggles up and down my spine. To keep from burning up the couch we had to separate.
Fortunately, a knock on the door was excuse enough for me to move. I swung
it all the way open so Logan’s friend filled Eric and Alec’s line of sight.
“
You're late.” The yawn I couldn't stop lessened the frustration I tried to push through my words.
“
Sorry, dinner took longer than we expected.”
I reached around Logan to introduce myself.
“I'm Carissa. Our friend, Logan, forgot his manners, come on in.”
“
Nice to meet you. I'm Marisa, but everyone calls me Mari.” She reached out and shook my hand.
Logan followed us inside. Alec and Eric
remained seated on opposite ends of the orange couch, leaving the yellow one, open. Annabelle and I purchased two couches rather than a couch and chair to provide more sitting room for guests. Logan and Mari took the open seats.
“
So, Mari, how did you meet Logan?” I asked. Might as well get to what I knew the other two were dying to ask. It was late, and I wanted to go to bed. Only way that was happening was to get Alec out of my place. It wouldn't hurt my feelings if Eric stayed. I pulled my runaway thoughts back to the conversation.
“
My brother is in Logan's band.”
Logan
entwined his fingers with hers. I cocked my chin in his direction and raised an eyebrow. A week ago we were in San Francisco together, and now he was holding hands with some chick he'd just met. I worried about Logan. If he did something rash, he'd get hurt, and that was the last thing I wanted for him.
“
What's his name?” Eric asked.
“
My brother? Oh, his name is Montego. This is his second year here. I came to watch him and his band at their upcoming show.”
“
You said he's a student?”
“
Yeah, he's a sophomore.”
Logan spoke up when he caught on that we were clueless who Montego was.
“Her brother is Monty.”
Ahh. The troublemaker
starting rumors about mystery phone calls.
“
So you met the infamous Logan, lead singer of Quickstart, at practice?”
“
Ha!” She guffawed. “I got lost in his building the other night, and he helped me find my way out. Crazy and desperate, I said yes when he offered to take me out to dinner tonight.”
I joined Mari in her laughter. Logan, the gentleman. Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. But good for him and fantastic for me. The five of us chatted for a little while before Alec
’s head bobbed against his chest and the back of the couch a few times. After the fourth time, I punched him in the side for snoring, he got the hint and prepared to go home.
Mari and Logan hit it off well. Alec's move to leave triggered everyone else. I walked them to the door one by one. Eric stayed on the couch
, and my heart fluttered. Would he stay? Did I want him to? Yeah, I did. Now to dredge up the confidence to ask for what I wanted.
Eric's growl didn't go unheard when Logan leaned down to kiss me on the cheek.
“Watch out for him,” he whispered in warning.
I smacked Logan on the arm
. Talk about troublemaker. “Take Mari home. I like her, be nice.”
“
Oh, he will. It was nice to meet you, Carissa.” Mari held her hand out to me, and I shook it one last time.
“
You, too. Maybe we'll see each other again at the concert on Saturday. Have a good evening.”
I shut the door then slowly turned around to face Eric.
He crooked his finger and motioned me over. “Do you want me to leave?”
Unable to form actual words since my tongue stuck to the top of my mouth I
shook my head.
“
Ask me then. I won't stay if you don't say the words. The last thing I want is a misunderstanding. Because, Carissa, if I don't leave right now I won't be leaving until the morning.”
Earlier that night Annabelle
had called to say she wouldn't be back until the next morning. Eric wanted to stay with me, and I wanted to curl up next to him in bed. Alec's words floated through my memories.
Go with your heart
. My heart said do it. My head said run.
He pushed off the couch when I didn't ask him to stay.
“Okay. I'll go then.”
Eric took my face in his hands and lowered his lips to mine. The kiss was tentative
—he held back. “Stay. Please, Eric. Just tonight.”
“
Okay. I'm okay with that. I love you, princess.”
Those were his last words before he captured my
mouth again. The kiss turned from tentative to possessive. He took control with a fierceness I'd never experienced, leaving no doubt which of us would lead tonight. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me off the ground. Our height difference made it easy for him to center my weight and carry me back to my room. Our lips never parted, even as he laid me down on the bed.
“
Touch me, Eric.”
He didn't speak, didn't hesitate, just did what I asked.
He slipped his hands up my arms, over my collarbone and down the center of my chest, stopping for a moment as he neared the dip between my breasts. He massaged each nipple with his thumb, every swipe across the peaked center harder than the last. Eventually he resumed the slow trail down my stomach. When he reached the bottom of my T-shirt, his fingers slid across the sliver of skin bared when my shirt bunched up. He retraced the path he’d traveled, going under my shirt. I arched into his rough hands, wishing he’d do more, faster.
“
Eric,” I groaned.
“
Don't worry, princess. I'll take care of you. But I'm not going to rut you like an animal.”
Of course he wouldn't. That would have scared me, and he knew it. I wasn't what one would call experienced, not a virgin, but definitely not well
-versed beyond kissing. After the whole Igor ordeal, I tried to avoid most intimate situations until I knew I wouldn't end up hurt. Or worse, embarrassed because of some reaction I had to a guy while we were in bed.
I laced my fingers behind his neck and tugged his
head to mine. When he took control again, I didn't pull away. “Do something, please.”
Eric straddled my thighs, took my shirt off, and gave my breasts some much-needed attention. His too-short massage from moments ago left me aching for more. Our kiss resumed
; without pretense he thrust his tongue deep then retreated slowly. I imagined it would be the same way when we made love.
Eric shifted his lips from my mouth along my jaw and chin. Once he reached my ear lobe
, he took it between his teeth, the nip a reminder of the night I told him I loved him. He flicked the tip of his tongue over the spot, and the ache faded as quickly as it had come. The nips, licks, and kisses continued down the column of my neck. He stopped again to suck hard on the spot between my shoulder and neck.
“You’re going to leave a mark,” I whispered.
“That’s the point. You like it, though, don’t you?”
My cheeks tingled with embarrassment.
“Told ya.”
I jumped when Eric reached for the button of my shorts. He chuckled but didn’t stop, progressing to the zipper and scooting to the foot of the bed so he could slide them off. They landed on the floor
, and my panties quickly followed. Before climbing back on the bed, Eric undressed.
For the first time
, I took a moment to check him out, a thorough perusal of the body I’d touched, but not examined. Oh, it sounded clinical, but there was nothing clinical about the way the broad head of his erection bounced against his stomach. Or the way the muscles in his arm bunched when he stroked himself. I licked my lips, a sudden urge to taste him. I flipped around to my stomach with my head at the foot of the bed, in line with his dick, and grabbed his hips before tugging him closer.
My mouth opened
, and Eric took the liberty of guiding himself into it. The moan from his lips when I sucked urged me on. I dug my fingers into his skin and took him as far as I could, until the head touched the back of my throat and I pulled back.
“Fuck me
,” he rasped.
I smiled then licked the underside of his shaft, twisting it around the head before diving back down. Eric
rubbed his hand up and down my spine. I didn’t stop the gasp when he slipped his hand between my legs. His fingers pressed against my nether lips, going deeper with each swipe. I spread my legs, and he pushed into my core. My whole body bucked at the sudden invasion, shoving his cock all the way down until I buried my nose in the wiry hairs surrounding it.
“Shit. You’re tight and wet, just like that sexy mouth of yours. I need in you, princess.”
An immediate coolness overtook me when he pulled his fingers from between my folds, but I didn’t have to wait long. Eric grabbed his dick and eased it from my mouth, then flipped me over to my back. He grabbed a condom from his pants pocket and rolled it on. In one smooth move he thrust deep inside.
I winced.
“Damn it. I’m sorry. I can’t…you feel so good wrapped around me.”
Eric started to ease back, but I shook my head. “No. I’m fine. Just surprised me that’s all. You’re so big.”
We were both so on edge it only took a few thrusts and withdrawals before I felt him pulsing deep inside. My lower stomach tightened then quivered as my own climax built. Eric reached between us, found my clit, and rubbed his thumb over the sensitive button. As I drew closer to the edge, my breathing increased. Eric plunged in as deep as he could and held my hips still. Both of us tipped over into ecstasy at the same time, calling out each other’s names in unison.
In the time it took Eric to clean up and turn out the light, I curled up under the covers, nearly lost to the bliss of the moment. My pulse slowed with my breathing, a smile spread over my face.
“Thank you,” Eric whispered after curving around my back, his arm draped over my hips.
“Mmm. For what?”
“Asking me to stay.”
I looked back, found his mouth in the dark room, and kissed him once more.