Love and Sacrifice (9 page)

Chapter 14

“Tragedy In The Making”

Tommy

            
 
I light my cigarette and blow out the smoke as Ella pulls up her dress and rests against the door in the backseat while I sit back against the other. I watch her intently. Her sandy brown hair around her small shoulders, the afterglow grins on her face. The mild sweat across her forehead from the heat we just generated in my car, and the red blush across her cheeks from the overwhelming pleasure I just gave to her. I usually don’t think about things like this. I shut everything out. But with her, I just can’t.

             
The question her father asked me proudly and with determination caused me to admit the greatest truth of my life. I met this remarkable girl ─ no, woman. I met this remarkable woman and without intention, I let the light into my darkness. Darkness that I was content with, I really was, but it’s something about the moment when you receive more. Once you get more, you want to keep it. You don’t want to lose it. You would sacrifice anything to keep it.

             
“My family likes you,” she tells me as she twirls her hair.

             
“Sure about that?”

             
“Yeah, my mom and Claudia think you’re sweet and charming. My Uncle Leo is just happy that you like the New York Knicks and my Uncle Billy just likes what I like.” She sits up and rubs her hand on my forearm, tracing one of my tattoos. “And I like you.” She seems nervous a little. She leans back and sighs. “Everyone loves you.”

             
“You sure your pops feel the same way?”

             
“My dad can be very unreadable, but he respects honesty.”

             
“How do you know I was honest?” I’m honestly asking this question.

             
She smacks her lips. “Shut up, Tommy, and put out that cigarette before you die of cancer.”

             
“I told you, I don’t care,” I tell her.

             
“Well, don’t you care if I die?” That question stings me. “Second-hand smoke kills, you know.”

             
She’s laughing, but it’s not funny. I quickly roll down my window and throw my cigarette out. Then I clasp my hands around her face and gaze into her eyes.

             
“I do.”

             
“Tommy, I didn’t mean it too literally as a question.”

             
I shake my head. “No, I just ─ I want you to know… that I care about you.”

             
Even confused, she realizes how serious I am.

             
“I know,” she quietly says.

             
I press my lips firmly against hers, deepening the kiss and pouring out the genuine feelings I have for her. I don’t want to say it, not even in my head. All I can do is say I care, not even the darkness can stop me from saying or thinking that. But not even the good and Ella’s piercing, green eyes keep me from knowing that this is a tragedy in the making.

Chapter 15

“Are You?”

Ella

“How did you know you were in love with Donovan?” Claudia and I are just lying in my bed, doing nothing when I pop this question on her. “Like when did you know?”

             
“Are you in love, Ella?” she asks me.

             
“Since the dinner I have told myself that and I really do think that. But I just want to make sure because you know me, I’ve never even really believed in the whole falling in love thing while you’re young, but I don’t know. I’m just confused.”

             
Claudia smiles at me and sighs. “Okay, when I look back on it. I’ve come to the conclusion that I knew I was in love with Donovan when I found out who he really was on that first day of school.”

             
“Really? Why?”

             
“Because when I found out who he was, it was like my world came crashing down and I literally wished that I was a different person; that I wasn’t the daughter of Henry Stonem. It impacted me so much and even if I was willing to just ignore it, I knew. I knew that I was in love with him.”

             
“That’s crazy.”

             
“Yeah, it is, but love is crazy. It doesn’t have to be as crazy as Donovan and I, but it will take you to places you never thought existed. Make you do things you swore you would never do.”

             
“See, I’ve never wanted anything like that. I mean, yeah, Tommy isn’t the ideal guy to most, but for me he is. He’s simple for me. My whole life I have been surrounded by unordinary people. So, of course, I would fall for a guy like him. But Tommy is so… I don’t know, it’s just this pull I have towards him, ever since I first saw his face. I can’t help it. All I want to do is just be with him.”

             
“You’re in love. Have you told him?”

             
“What? Hell no. Tommy is very guarded. He’s had a rough life and I just don’t want to scare him away.”

             
“Well, then take your time, El. He’s not going anywhere. I mean at least you guys can have the romance without the complications like Donovan and I had.”

             
“Oh, hell yes.” She laughs at my comment. “Seriously, I love you and I’m happy for you and my brother, but no, I can’t deal with the drama and gun fighting.”

             
“Getting shot,” she adds. I sense the seriousness in her face.               “Claude, you’re okay, right? Ever since that day? She takes a deep breath and exhales.

“I have nightmares where I didn’t wake up in the hospital. That I didn’t wake up to see Donovan’s face. I almost died, literally. It does something to you. I don’t talk to Donovan about it because I think it scares him. That he thinks that I might regret us because of the things I lost and what happened.”

              “Well, do you? And I won’t be mad if you do, Claude.”

             
She thinks to herself for a moment. “No.” She shakes her head. “That’s the funny thing. I don’t. Especially jumping in front of that bullet, because if I had to do it all over again, I’d do it in a heartbeat. No questions asked. That’s how much I love your brother.”

             
“He told me that you two love each other to the point of no return.”

             
“He’s right. We do.”             

Tommy

              “What do you want?” the poor sap asks me.

             
I wash my hands of his blood, wiping off with a towel and walk over to him. He is tied to the chair. He’s a prosecutor, Walt Beakham. Mickey had me follow him here to the Manhattan Plaza Hotel.

             
“You know what I want, Mr. Beakham.” I sit on the bed in front of him and go through his wallet. “This case you have against Mickey Valentine. You’re going to dismiss it.”

             
“You might as well kill me.”

             
“See, I was scared you would say that, because I don’t like hurting innocent people. Let me ask you something. Does your family know that after work, you like to come to this hotel with your secretary?” I glance at the secretary who is tied up with just his boxers and a blindfold on. “Who is a guy, by the way. It’s one thing to cheat, but damn. This is the new age, man. I mean, you can be out and proud, no need to waste your beautiful wife’s time.”

             
I glance at the picture of his wife. “And she is very beautiful.”

             
“You leave my family out of this!”

             
“Hey!” I slap him across the face. “Listen to me. If you die, your family will know about your side adventures. But we don’t want you to die, Walt. Now, if you don’t drop the case, we’re going to come to your house and tie up your lovely wife. We have this guy. Personally, I don’t like him. I wish I could kill him, but he likes women a lot and he likes to play with them. Now your kids will be tied up also and… you will have to watch. You will have to watch bad things happen to them. We won’t kill you, Walt, we will break you.”

             
“Don’t you mean them? You don’t really sound like a monster.”

             
“I’m the worst monster of them all, Walt. I’m the one that just sits and watches. So I’m going to leave now, and I’m taking your wallet. If we don’t get word in a couple of days that the case is dismissed somehow… then I’m sorry. I can’t help you.”

             
I untie the rope from his hands, but keep the blindfold on him. I step back towards the door and leave.

             
I’m not proud of this, never have, never will. But I have always been okay with that feeling, never expecting anything else, just hoping that Mickey wouldn’t ask me to kill people I didn’t want to kill. But now it’s bothering me. Because when I do things like what I just did, all I can see is Ella’s face.

Chapter 16

“Worth It”

Ella

            
 
“I don’t want to do this,” Tommy whines as I drag him to the photo booth. I told him to meet me at the mall, where I was shopping for a dress for my cousin’s wedding.

             
“Stop being a baby.” I pull back the curtain and push him into the small booth. I scoot in and insert the coins to operate the booth. “I haven’t taken a picture in one of these things in years.”

             
“Tell the truth,” he smirks at me. “You’re one of those girls who loves to take photo booth pictures with their boyfriends. And tape them on your wall.”

             
I slap him on the arm. “Shut up.”

             
I start the machine and grab Tommy’s hand. “Now you better smile.”

             
The first picture captures him not smiling and me giving him a look. The next one is me pouting and him kissing me on the cheek. The third is filled with happiness as I smile at him and he smiles back. In the last one, he just puts his arm around me and pulls me in closer. As I reach for the printed pictures, I look at the last picture on the strip. It’s really nice. I’m smiling into his neck and his eyes are closed as he smiles. It’s a pure moment between us.

             
“So, what were you shopping for again?” he asks as we walk through the mall.

             
“Just some jewelry to go with my dress. My cousin is getting married next week.”

             
“Cool.”

             
As he walks me to my car, I try to find the words to ask him. Okay, Ella, it’s no biggie, just ask the guy. Ask him and if he says no, don’t have an attitude.

             
“Soooo… ” I pause when we reach my car and face him. “I have a plus one… to my cousin’s wedding. You think you might want to go?”

             
He stuffs his hands in his pockets and contemplates his decision.  “I can’t,” he sighs.

             
My heart literally drops. Shit, I shouldn’t let it get to me like this. “Okay,” I choke out.

             
“I just can’t. I think it’s too soon,” he tells me.

             
“It’s cool.” I press the unlock button, but quickly turn back to see his retreating back. “Too soon?” He turns back around and walks back over. “That’s the best excuse? Like what does that even mean? Too soon?”

             
“It’s just too soon, Ella.”

             
“You met my family.”

             
“Yeah, and that’s enough, okay?”

             
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that meeting my family was a problem for you.”

             
“It wasn’t. It just… ”

             
“What?!”

             
“It just wasn’t me!” His eyes widen and I’m  shocked. This is the first time I have heard him yell. “It just wasn’t me, Ella. I don’t do things like that! I don’t meet parents or take fucking photos in picture booths like I’m in a committed relationship or some shit. I don’t do any of this. I don’t step off my path.”

             
“Your path?”

             
“Just… give me some space, okay?”

             
Space?

             
“Okay. I’m sorry, Tommy. I never wanted to… I don’t really know what I wanted.” I quickly get in my car and pull off without looking at him. I don’t know what just happened. Did we break up? I mean we weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, but he said he needed space and … fuck! You know what? Forget him! He isn’t worth it. But I want him to be worth it.

Tommy

            
 
Shit.

             
I slam my fist on the steering wheel as I drive back to my apartment.

             
“What the hell are you doing?!” I scream to myself.

             
I don’t know what I’m doing.

Ella

            
 
I haven’t talked to or seen Tommy in four days. I’m not calling him, that’s for sure. He’s the guy, he should be calling and begging me to forgive him, and he’s the one who wanted space. A break from whatever the hell we are doing. I shouldn’t have asked him to come to the wedding with me and I shouldn’t have freaked out when he said no. But what the hell kind of answer is “too soon?!” I think once you meet the parents, it’s pretty much a wrap on the “too soon” thing.

             
I just took a shower and throw on a dark blue, tight and short dress. Dina wants to go out and I figure why the hell not get over Tommy by getting my flirt on?

             
“Where are you going?” my dad asks me from his office as I headed out the door; I knew I shouldn’t have worn my heels.

             
As I enter his office, he glares at my dress.

             
“I’m going out Dad.”

             
“Dressed like that? What’s wrong with the clothes you used to wear to parties?”

             
“Daddy, I hate to burst your bubble, but the oversize clothes I wore usually had something a little more fitting underneath.

             
He arches his brow and folds his arms across his chest, daring me to confess more.

             
“Yes, your daughter lied. But Mom knew. Sorry, I’m bringing the whole family down with me.”

             
“Ella, are you okay?” my father’s tone shows concern. Looking down as my mind goes to Tommy, I sigh as my dad stands up and stares down at me, demanding an answer. That’s my dad’s way. He doesn’t ask, he demands, and when he demands, he doesn’t do it with words.

             
“You can talk to me. You know that, right?”

             
“It’s Tommy.”

             
“What did he do?” my father asks, assuming the worse and ready to break skulls.

             
“Nothing. I mean, Dad, truthfully, I’m beginning to realize that he’s like you. He’s quiet and guarded. I asked him to come with me to Lola’s wedding and he got nervous. Said he needed space. But whatever, I don’t care, forget him.”

             
“I wish I could agree and tell you to forget about boys, period.” I roll my eyes at me father’s hopeless wish. “But I know I can’t. Just give it time. It takes men a little longer to give in. But if it’s right, eventually we do.” My father gives me a warm embrace and lets me leave without any type of judgment or unwanted feedback. It’s as simple as that with him.

****

              This local college bar, thirty minutes outside of Eastbrook, is where all the college kids from the private universities hang out. You have to be twenty-one and up to get in, but if you’re a female and sexy, it doesn't matter. Dina and I started coming here a few months ago. She’s chatting it up with some tall dark-haired frat guy with a very bright green polo shirt on. He is succeeding in pursuing my good friend, but his friend, not so much.

"My father has two boats
out in the Hamptons. We could go out there sometime," he tells me so easily, thinking his family’s wealthy status will have an effect on me.

As he continues with his beach house in the Hamptons
spiel, my mind and heart drift to Tommy. I can't help it; I'm in love with him. I know this and I never thought love would ever drive me to do stupid things like the one I'm about to do now.

"Listen...
Greg, right?" I know his name starts with a G.

"Garre
tt." He looks a little cut by me forgetting his name.

"I'm not one of those girls where you can tell me
, ‘oh, my dad has this and that’ and expect me to just get in the bed with you. Besides, we both know that if I went back with you to the frat house you and your friends keep talking about, I wouldn't even get close to seeing your daddy's boat in the Hamptons. Advice. Just tell the truth to a girl. You want sex. It works, trust me. I used to see my brother do it all the time."

His mouth
makes the shape of an o and he seems flabbergasted by my bluntness. "Well, do you want to go to the frat house and have sex?"

"No."

I leave the party once Dina and the frat guy exchange numbers. Dropping her off at her house, I don't go home. Instead, my dumb ass goes to the one place I should not be going.