Love at Stake (16 page)

“You’re a good father.”

“Claudette said the same.” Lucian shook his head. “I could be what Melissa needed but not what her mother deserved.”

“Two different types of love.”

His thumbs brushed circles into her palms. “I wanted to love her. I did as much as I was able.”

“But she was human,” Abbey said, her heart breaking. “And you can never care for a mortal.”

“No.” He stood, drawing her closer. “That’s not what I am trying to say.”

She touched her palm to his cheek. “I know. But let’s call a spade a spade. You won’t ever love me because my years are numbered in decades instead of centuries.”

“Abbey…”

“Your Claudette knew that and still made a life with you. She loved you enough to entrust her daughter into your care.”

“You’re so sure she loved me?” he asked.

She heard the hesitancy in his question and smiled. “You’ve got your issues, haven’t you?”

“I didn’t mean—”

“Of course it was love,” she whispered, rising to her tiptoes. “No woman stays with a man for the better part of her life if it isn’t.”

Lucian shuddered under her hands. “When she died…”

He had no words and she didn’t need them. She understood. Claudette had been his human on a pedestal. Abbey had no hope of coming close to his ideal of his former lover. Hell, the other woman had given him a child whereas she had known him only a few weeks. If there was a competition, she was the obvious loser.

Claudette’s death had scared Lucian in a way he might not even be conscious of. Every time he thought of getting involved with a human, he remembered the pain of losing the mother of his adopted daughter. How did she counter that?

The answer was, she didn’t. She could never replace Claudette in his eyes. She shouldn’t even try.

She looked at him and thought of what his former lover must have decided. A lifetime with this man was worth any pain encountered in the long run.

“Thank you,” she said, running her fingers through his hair. “Knowing about her helps.”

“Why?” he asked, catching her hand.

“Because you were capable of caring for a mortal once.”

“I care for you,” he said. “More than I should. More than I thought I could.”

She wanted to ask if it was more than he’d felt for Claudette but held her tongue. That was an answer she didn’t want to hear.

“I missed you,” she said instead. “And I wished I didn’t.”

“I went out with Vivian’s candidates and felt nothing. Not a single one of them could compete with you.”

“A human?” she said before she could stop herself.

“I don’t give a damn what you are, as long as you’re in my arms.”

She knew the words didn’t hold as much weight as she wanted them to, but she still let him pull her close.

She shut her eyes when his lips touched hers and gave herself up to his expert caresses. He’d amazed her, thrilled her, hurt her. And yet here they were.

“Come with me,” she whispered, pulling him toward her bedroom.

“Into that whirlwind of colors?” he asked.

She heard the teasing in his tone. “I like to be flamboyant, at least in private. If that displeases your lordship, feel free to use the door.”

“I doubt I’d be able to find it in the mishmash of your home.” He reached for the zipper of her dress.

“Then you’ll have to stay here forever.”

Her whispered words stilled his hands.

“So it seems,” he said.

She watched him, wishing she knew what he was thinking.

Lucian caught her mouth, pulling the zipper down as far as it would go.

Abbey shrugged out of her dress as she walked toward her bed. Her underwear set was plain beige. Hardly the kind to set a man on fire, yet Lucian acted as if he’d never seen anything so beautiful.

His hands rose to cup her breasts. “Lovely,” he murmured. “I worried I’d never see them again.”

“Your choice,” she couldn’t help saying. “Not mine.”

“My eternal apologizes.” He ran his thumbs over her taut nipples. “Forgive me?”

In that moment? Anything.

She shrugged out of her bra and stood before him in only her panties.

“Have I ever seen anything more stunning?” he whispered against her chest.

Abbey closed her eyes and pretended she could believe him. Who knew how long this change of heart would last? She needed to enjoy it while she could.

“I need you,” she said.

“Never let it be said I left a woman wanting,” he replied as he tumbled her backward into bed.

She bounced twice before he was there, between her legs. He kissed her navel as his fingers hooked around the side of her panties. Her lover moved down her body as he pulled the fabric off her and kneeled at her feet.

Meeting his eyes, she opened her legs without a word. A half smile twisted his lips. He shed his own clothes in seconds before wrapping his fingers around each ankle to pull her legs even farther apart.

“Yes,” he murmured, staring at her. “Perfect.”

He crawled up her body, taking his time. Abbey closed her eyes as he kissed the top of her knee, his fingers trailing up her calves. Lucian moved higher, his tongue flicking out to tease her inner thigh. She fought against the instinctual desire to close her legs as his mouth moved higher.

He bit gently over her femoral artery, reminding her of what he wanted as much as he wanted her body. Not that he’d ever get it. At least, not from her.

And then his dark head was between her legs.

A startled cry escaped her as his tongue slid over her folds.

“Lucian,” she breathed, her fingers delving into his hair.

His clever tongue lapped at her, tracing the contours of the most sensitive part of her body. One finger pressed into her as he caught her clit in his mouth. A wordless shriek erupted from her as he grazed his teeth over the tender skin oh so gently.

Her chest heaved with her rapid breaths and pleasure thundered through her with every lick of his tongue. Her orgasm built higher as he sucked her clit with an expert’s touch. The finger thrust deeper into her, eliciting a jumble of pleas from her lips.

“More,” she cried, rocking against his mouth. “Oh please, Lucian. Don’t leave me like this.”

She felt his smile against her flesh.

“No,” she moaned, knowing what he’d do. “No, don’t you dare.”

But he was already pulling back.

“I need to find a stake,” she said, tunneling her fingers through her own hair. “Garlic, a few crosses, maybe a Bible or two.”

“Hush,” he whispered. “You can’t come yet, darling. This needs to last.”

“Villain.”

“Trust me,” he said against her lips. “You’ll thank me in a moment.”

“I had better,” she grumbled a second before his cock thrust into her.

Pleasure seared through her, robbing her of words. With her body already so primed, every movement was addictively intense.

She bent her knees, cradling Lucian between her thighs.

“Better?” he teased, kissing her nape.

“Just move.”

He withdrew to the tip before driving back into her with a groan.

“So hot,” he said against her skin. “Hot for me.”

“Only you.” Christian was a distant memory. No one compared to Lucian. Not in her past and not, she feared, in her future.

She undulated beneath him as he surged into her. Her breasts pressed against his chest as she held him close.

“Lucian,” she begged, her nails marring his newly healed back.

“I like you wild for me,” he whispered.

“Go faster or you’ll see true desperation.”

Wrapping his arms around her for support, he rolled them over. Abbey gasped as she found herself astride him.

“Show me,” he said. “Take what you need.”

She looked down at him, feeling vulnerable as she sat astride him with his cock buried deep within her. But now was not the time to back down from the delicious challenge in his eyes.

Abbey pressed her hands to his chest as she lifted her hips and impaled herself on his stiff cock.

“God,” he groaned, throwing back his head.

Her lips parted in a silent gasp as she repeated the action.

His hands rose to her hips to steady her but he didn’t try to control her movements in any other way. His muscles tensed beneath her hands and she smiled, knowing what it must cost him to let her set the pace. Surely he was itching to thrust into her, to dominate. But instead he let her set the tone.

And since she was in control, she could torture him just as he had her. With a grin she fell into an easy, slow rhythm, far from the desperate gallop they both craved. Again and again, she rose over his proud cock before sinking down once more, a cry of pleasure escaping her lips.

“Abbey,” he groaned, obviously at his limit.

She braced her hands on the pillow by his head and leaned over him. “Beg me,” she challenged. Her mouth drifted over his lips, tempting him with everything he craved.

“Please.” The word was hissed from between clenched teeth.

“Who do you want?” she demanded, running her fingers down his chest.

“You. Only you.”

Their mouths met in a ferocious clash even as his hands gripped her hips. He rocked into her in time with her movements, no longer content to play a passive role. Together they raced toward their pleasure.

Abbey threw her head back as her hips rolled against his. His teeth scraped against her pulse but the sharp points didn’t break the skin. She knew the relentless hunger spiraling through him and was thankful for his restraint. His fangs in her throat was a sensation she wanted to avoid for the rest of her life.

“Please,” he begged against her skin. “More.”

Her speed increased, and she slammed herself down onto him. “So close,” she panted. “So very close.”

Lucian gripped her hips and thrust into her just as she came down on him. They cried out together as their climaxes claimed them both. Abbey stiffened above him, rigid with the pleasure riding her body.

She collapsed over him, twitching with the aftermath. Her thoughts whirled in a daze. Lucian’s harsh panting filled her ears and brought a smile to her lips.

Whatever their differences, they more than made up for it in bed.

“Be mine,” he whispered, rolling her into his arms. “Forget the wolf. Say you’re mine, Abbey.”

She smiled against his chest but kept her words to herself. Lucian had burned her before, and despite the world-altering pleasure he showed her, she wouldn’t be such a fool twice.

Chapter Thirteen

She sat curled in her bedroom armchair, watching her lover sleep. Her body was sated and calm. Nothing like the turmoil in her mind.

Now that the desperate desire had been satisfied, for the moment at least, she could think clearly. And her thoughts were not happy ones.

Last night Lucian had shared memories with her she was grateful to know. But instead of inspiring confidence, his disclosures worried her even more.

Claudette was the only woman who’d ever come close to his heart. He’d spent years with her and never truly loved her. Such a relationship, even if he were offering it, would kill Abbey. She knew she was on a slippery slope. It would be so easy to love this man for the rest of her life. And staying with him knowing she’d only ever be inferior in his eyes would rip her to shreds.

Lucian offered pleasure but only coupled with mountains of pain. And she didn’t think she could take it.

Abbey closed her eyes. Bloody supernatural men. Christian wanted her to be something she wasn’t and Lucian had a heart she could never touch.

Her fingers traced over her wrist, remembering the pain of his bite. They were different. Fundamentally so. If she stayed with him, he’d use her up until there was nothing left and toss her aside. She had no illusions about how their romance would end. He’d leave her eventually.

Unless she left him first.

Her heart clenched at the thought.

It was the only choice, she knew. He’d walked away from her before. He’d do it again. She couldn’t trust that this was more than a fling with a human whose body he craved.

Abbey knew she couldn’t continue to be physical with him and not become emotionally attached. And he didn’t want her heart.

She dropped her head to her knees. After this, she needed to get out of the supernatural dating world. Find a nice, boring human to occupy her time. One who wouldn’t try to change her into a different species and one who would love her the way she longed to be loved.

Someone who wasn’t Lucian.

As her dark thoughts circled her head, Lucian’s eyes opened.

“Hello.” He smiled. “The sun will be up soon. I need to leave.”

“Yeah,” she said, her throat feeling tight.

“I’ll send a car for you tonight, after your shift. We’ll go for dinner.”

Now or never,
she thought. The words she needed to say clogged in her throat.
Do it,
her mind whispered.
End this before he does and breaks your heart. Protect yourself.

Because he sure wasn’t going to.

“No car,” she said, the fault line in her chest ripping open.

He arched a brow. “Going to taxi?”

She shook her head. “I’m not going to see you tonight.”

Lucian stilled. “What?”

Abbey drew a deep breath. “You left me.”

“I apologized for that.”

“I know, but some things you can’t undo.” She straightened her legs. “I don’t trust you to stay with me for long. And I can’t pretend to be in a happy relationship with a sword hanging over my head.”

“It’s not like that. I will take care of you.”

“I’m taking care of me,” she said. “I’m not like Claudette, able to settle for crumbs of your affection. I can’t accept half of a relationship.”

His eyes narrowed. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying…” She swallowed hard. “I’m saying when you leave here, don’t come back. I’ll have Jessie or Chloe work with your file for the remainder of your trial. We are done.”

Anger darkened his eyes. “I don’t accept that.”

“Too bad. I didn’t get a say when you dumped me. This is fair play.”

His lips curled, revealing sharp fangs. “Revenge, Abbey? Surely we are past that.”

“Not revenge. Self-preservation.”

Lucian shot from the bed, pacing away from her. Shakily, she rose, waiting for his verdict.

He grabbed his clothing from the floor and threw it on. Tunneling his fingers through his hair, he turned back to her. “Is it the werewolf?”

She shook her head. “I think I’m going to take a break from supernatural dating. Humans just can’t compete.”

“I don’t care that you’re human,” he snapped.

“But you do,” she said, marching up to him. “You do. I will never be good enough to be your mate.”

“Is that what this is about? We can still spend a lifetime together, Abbey.”

“My lifetime. Not yours. Just like Claudette.”

Lucian’s jaw clenched.

“Tell me you’ll love me one day,” she said, throwing the words at him. “Tell me you’ll wake up one night and realize I’m all you’ll ever want.”

He couldn’t say the words and they both knew it.

“You aren’t offering me anywhere near enough to spend my life with you,” she said. “I want a man who loves me for me and I deserve to find him. If you can’t be that man, you have no business trying to win me.”

“I can give you everything else,” he said. “Everything but love.”

Her heart splintered. Part of her had been hoping when push came to shove, he’d yield. He’d realize how much he needed her.

He’d love her.

A hopeless dream for a human.

“It’s not enough,” she whispered, tears clogging her throat. “Not for me.”

Lucian growled in frustration. She knew he wasn’t used to losing, but this was one argument he couldn’t win.

She laid a palm on his cheek. “You want me, but you don’t love me. We need to get out now before we hurt each other any more. I can’t be the woman you need any more than you can be the man I do.”

“You don’t know that.”

A smile twisted her lips and she knew it wasn’t pleasant. “I do. Leave, Lucian.”

“I can’t just walk away.”

“Yes, you can.” Her hand dropped from his face. “I am not yours and I refuse the kind of relationship you’re offering. Please, let it end here.”

He spun away from her. “I don’t give up.”

“This isn’t giving up.” She wrapped her arms around herself for comfort. “This is facing reality. What we have can’t last and if you push this, I’m the one who’s going to end up hurt, not you.”

That argument stopped him. Slowly he turned back to her, pain in his eyes.

“Go,” she whispered. “Before you break my heart.”

His eyes closed. Agony flashed across his face. In his own way, he did care for her. It just wasn’t enough.

“I would never hurt you,” he whispered.

“But you will. If you stay, you will.” Her voice broke. “So go. Please.”

Red eyes flashed at her and she forced herself look at him. She watched the struggle on his face before he turned his back. An inhuman roar ripped from him, filling the small room.

The pain and the anger in the sound shook her.
Not human
, she thought.
Not even close.

Lucian dashed from the room faster than her eyes could track. The front door slammed with enough force to shake the apartment building.

He was gone.

Walking out of her life forever.

For a long moment she stood frozen in the quiet room. The rumpled bed where they’d shared such intimate hours tortured her. She knew she’d made the right choice. She couldn’t be with a man who would never love her.

But that knowledge didn’t stop her from crumpling to the floor.

Nor did it silence the wail that escaped her throat.

…

“You look like you’ve seen better days.”

Abbey didn’t bother looking up at Chloe. Her forehead rested on the desk as she tried to breathe. It had been days since Lucian had walked out of her life and it wasn’t getting any easier to function without him.

Christian had flooded her e-mail with apologies, but she hadn’t bothered answering a single one. The wolf was too much for her right now. Too intense, too violent, too
other.

And not the man she longed for.

“You’re going to kill brain cells if you stay like that.”

She sighed, pushing her face off the desk. “I’ve gone through the files and set up all the new members. Everything is accounted for.”

Worry filled Chloe’s eyes. Before she could speak, however, Vivian stepped into the room. “It’s not your work quality I’m worried about,” the siren said.

Abbey looked at her grimly. “I have nothing to do with Lucian.”

“He’s refused every date we’ve tried to set up for him. Every single one. There are only a few days left on the clock and our star client won’t perform.”

“He’s not a horse,” she muttered.

“What the hell did you do, Abbey?”

She pushed away from her desk. “Nothing.”

Brushing past the women, she headed for the break room to grab a cup of coffee. But the siren kept pace with her. Vivian, it seemed, was not done.

“I’ve seen zombies look more lively than you, and your vampire lover is refusing my phone calls. You’re relationship screwed us all, didn’t it?”

“Our numbers are up,” Abbey said. “We’ve been signing new members every day.”

“Once Lucian walks, half of them will go with him. Not to mention we won’t have the vampire publicity he promised if we succeeded. We’ll be back were we started.”

She poured herself a cup of coffee before chugging a long sip. Hopefully the caffeine would help her feel more alive, especially since she felt as dead inside as the zombies Vivian had accused her of emulating.

“A month was never enough time,” Abbey said. “He knew it and we knew it.”

Vivian’s lip curled. “It was enough time for you to situate yourself in his bed.”

She rounded on her boss. “Lay off, Viv. I’m sorry you took my relationship as a personal attack but it wasn’t intended as anything of the sort. You can’t help who you—” She broke off before uttering the damning word but the damage was done.

Both Chloe and Vivian looked at her as if she’d sprouted another head.

“Love?” Vivian said finally.

Abbey stayed mutinously silent.

“Oh, you stupid girl,” her boss said. “You might get what you deserve after all.”

“I have work to do,” Abbey said.

The siren’s eyes were narrowed as they watched her. “Best make it perfect, Abbey. I’m this close to firing you for the mess you’ve made of my company.”

Might even be a justified action
, she thought as she muscled by her coworkers.

She stalked down the hall only to stop when she was out of Vivian’s view. Abbey pressed her back against the gray wall and closed her eyes.

You can’t help who you love.

Those were the fateful words that had almost escaped her.

Did she mean them?

She dragged a hand down her face. Had she been too late? Loving Lucian would be incredibly stupid. She’d given him up because she’d known that going down that road was a once-in-a-lifetime commitment. If she loved him, she didn’t see how she could survive a future without him.

Pain tore at her heart and she held her palm over her throbbing chest. Could hearts really break? Because hers was damn close.

“Stupid,” she whispered.

She’d known better.

Nothing good came of loving a vampire.