Love Came Back (a Pyro-Princess Design and Style novel Book 1) (9 page)

15

Truth Will Out

..:Siddaleigh::..

It shouldn’t have been so damn comfortable. My hand in his. His strong, callused hand and fingers entwined with my much smaller, softer ones, gave me a feeling of utter-
safeness
.

“So, this is where you live? Nice. Looks expensive.”

“Yes, but it has the best security and that’s something I don’t mess around with when it comes to my wee baby sister. And m’self as well. Always be prepared. Hooyah.” He raised his hand in the air and made a fist.

Laughing at the word, I asked him what that meant.

“A lot of military branches have their own battle cry. Hooyah is the SEALs. Alright, princess, let’s go see what I got in the fridge.”

Konner led me inside, and when we walked in, my eyes almost bugged out.

“Konner, this is like, huge.” I walked in front of him to scope out my surroundings and his apartment was modern with a little bit of girly thrown in.

“I am hoping you were not the decorator.” When I turned back to look at him, a blush crept up his neck and I couldn’t keep the laughter in.

“Well, we’ll see whose laughing later, love. I am usually never here. I told my sister to do what she wished.”

Walking around Konner, I sat at a bar top that opened up into the kitchen. Konner walked to his fridge and pulled out two steaks that seemed to have been marinating. When I asked him what they were marinated in, he gave me a wicked smile and said, “Irish Whiskey. I take m’ancestry seriously,
banphrionsa
. We do make the best of everything.”

His eyes shined with mischief and I couldn’t help but think to myself, no doubt they do. I am looking at the best thing that country ever made. Good Lord Almighty. Each and every time he moved, his muscles rippled and flexed. They made me want to let out a growl. That’s me, a lioness, hear me roar. Or maybe howl at the moon? That’s it. I was meant to be a werewolf in another life.

Gimme a break. Think about something else. Other than his hard muscles.

Look somewhere else, Siddaleigh!

I focused on my surroundings, getting a feel for the place and realized I was hungrier than I originally thought when my stomach gurgled and growled.

“Ha, babe, someone’s hungry.”

“Shut it Konner, how long until those steaks are ready? I like mine well done.” I didn’t know what to say to him. I couldn’t think up anything. “What are you doing with your time off?”

“Well, I have been rehabbing my leg already for four months, I was told up to nine months. Maybe less. Hopefully I’ll be done by Christmas. I’ve been working some with me athair, my father. He owns a construction company, O’Brian & Sons but often during the lull period, I work as a partner with Lucan, my cousin, in his dad’s security firm. Since I can’t do much since I work for Uncle Sam and with my rehabilitation, I mainly gather Intel for my uncle if or when he needs it. But mostly I love working with my hands. There’s a feeling of accomplishment when you’re done and there’s beauty in the glory. How about you? What do you do for fun,
banphrionsa
?”

Konner was cutting up vegetables and just looking at him working that knife like he was master of chefery, or whatever it’s called, made me want to be the handle. He welded it so gracefully.

“I work a lot, and I still go to school. I don’t have a lot of free time, so I guess when I have time to spare, I read. Historical romance books are my favorite. But lately, Mags has gotten me into the New Adult kick, and it’s like a plague. It’s all I can do to get the next book. It’s crazy. I also go out with my mother when I can. She was diagnosed with breast cancer this past year, so I took her to her chemo and her doctor’s appointments. I get with the girls from the store on Sundays. That’s about it. This is the first out of character movement for me.”

I felt the blush climbing up the column of my neck. When Konner looked back at me, I turned my gaze upward to look at the pictures hanging around his kitchen. They were of country hillsides and valleys. Then some with luscious green lands and I knew those had to be of Ireland.

Dinner turned out really good, we talked about my classes, and my goals for the store. He talked about the guys in his team, his family and what he planned on doing when he stopped being an active soldier. I loved hearing him talk. His voice glided over my nervousness and by the end of dinner and two glasses of wine, I felt relaxed and really good.

I sat on his big Lazy-Boy leather sofa, and when he refilled my glass, I felt a sated kind of lethargy. When he sat down next to me, he folded me into the crook of his shoulder and played with the unruly curls of my hair as we watched the movie.

By the middle of the movie, we had shared a companionable silence when I looked up at him and wanted to just not be silent anymore.

“I won’t have sex you, you know. I don’t do the whole sex thing with anyone. This is really nice, but I can’t let it go any further.”

It came tumbling out of my mouth without a thought what-so-ever. I closed my eyes because that was the only thing I could do.

“Sorry, that wasn’t what I wanted to say. Crappers, I’m sorry. However, it is true. There are parts of me that are so broken and damaged and I just can’t.”

The frustration and tension in my body made me stand up like a bullet. With the movie forgotten, I walked over to the window looking out towards the city life and lights of Houston. I felt Konner come up behind me. He just stood there, without touching me. Just looked at me through the windows reflection. I could feel that he was letting me know I had to make that first move. If I made any at all.

I almost didn’t want to, but the look on his face was one of compassion and I crumpled. Like a powdered donut in milk. I turned and threw my arms around his waist and just held on for dear life. At first, he didn’t react and I buried my face deeper in his chest to quiet some of my pathetic sobbing. He finally drew me deeper into his arms and let me lean on him.

When my tears calmed, he lifted me up into his arms, which to me I thought was a feat in itself because I weighed about 180-ish. However, he seemed to lift me and hold me without any problems. I liked that more than I could say. I mean, really liked that he didn’t say anything about my weight or to see any strain on his face.

He carried me to the sofa, sat me on his lap, and cradled me in his arms.

“Mo chroí, I will never pressure you into something you don’t want,” his voice became hard and any trace of an accent was gone. “I don’t believe you’re broken. Or damaged. A beautiful, healthy, vibrant moxie you are. You were when you were seventeen and nothing’s changed. That spark in your eye is the same as it ever was. Although that naïve light that was there has faded but eight years didn’t change a goddamn thing. If you can tell me why you think so, I know I can help you. I am here. Lean into me, I will fight all your insecurities and fears you think you have.”

Sighing, I got up from his lap, closed my eyes and stood in front of him. This was it. He would turn me away once I showed him the fugly scars I bore on my skin. When I opened my eyes, they felt slightly swollen and I knew my make-up was smeared. I looked down at him and knew this would not end pretty. I wiped the smudges of mascara from my eyes and reached down to the hem of my blouse.

“I am, Konner. Just listen,” I implored him when he tried to give me a look of disbelief.

“Just listen,” sighing heavily, I forged on, “this is going to sound horribly bad and I want you to know I won’t hold it against you if you turn me away,” seeing the scowl on his face, I hastily continued, “Don’t give me that look. You have no idea what this is going to cost me to bear this to you. Someone who doesn’t understand what I went through. No one knew what I went through.”

And that was the truth. No one knew except for Mags and Doctor Larsen. No one in my family knew because I couldn’t face their defamation and ‘I-told-you-so’s.

I walked a few feet away to grab some much needed space and gathered my thoughts. Konner just sat on the edge of the sofa and waited for me. He must have seen the tear fall down my cheek because his breath hitched and he looked at me with a fire lighting in his stare. I figured he could guess it had to have been really bad. It was. What I was going to tell him, might make him feel differently about me, and while I hated that thought, it might be for the best in the long run.

“Someone hurt you. Terribly, didn’t they? Was it a man?”

When I nodded my head, his face was became a little scary, but he quickly masked his rage, for my benefit, no doubt.

“If you’re going to tell me, tell it all to me. I will listen and I willna ever turn you away. Ever, do you understand that, anamchara?”

“Ok, you are so going to tell me all these little endearments to me as well, is that understood?”

His face softened and he chuckled a bit at my fierceness. “Of course, Siddaleigh. Now come sit by me and tell me your story.”

16

The Past Isn’t so Dead, is it?

..::Siddaleigh::..

Sighing in resignation, I followed him back to the sofa, but as I made my way to sit next to him, he took my waist and placed me in his lap with my back to his chest. He splayed one hand on my hip, and the other against my stomach and reeled me in so I was leaning firmly against his broad chest. He brushed my hair aside so he could nibble along my throat. It felt like heaven.

“I waited for you. Hoping and praying you would come home and find me. When you never did, I couldn’t do it anymore. I was like a total zombie sometimes. Just going to school, working my tail off to get my degrees, I often felt like a robot. Around my nineteenth birthday, I went down by the lake one evening, and my mind just crashed with memories. I just thought of all the things we talked about. The last time I heard anything from you. Heard your voice. I cried for a long time. That’s the night I met my ex.

He semi-rescued me from myself. I was in a bad state of mind. I never thought I would ever hear from you again, you know? He was in a few words-a perfect distraction. He was the son of a large banker from New York, and came here to build another empire for his father. Born with a silver spoon in his mouth, and that didn’t end when he left his parents. I thought he was so wonderful and extravagant. I got so caught up in his life I forgot about my own. After a while I ended up quitting my job to cater to him.”

Snorting to myself I continued, “I hadn’t realized I was a doormat. After being with him six months, he asked me to move in with him. About a month later, is when I saw his true side. I didn’t do something to his satisfaction and he smacked me pretty hard. He apologized right after, and at first I was shocked. I had never been hit like that in my whole life. I stupidly forgave him, because it sounded like he really meant it.”

♥

..::Konner::..

As soon as I heard her say that the bastard hit her, all I could see was red. Felt like finding the little shit who hit her and squeeze the life from him. I knew a hundred different ways to kill someone. All that training in the Navy sure was helpful.

Thank goodness Siddaleigh wasn’t looking at me, because she would be able to see just the way my mind was going. I knew the worst was yet to come because abusers don’t just stop. I wondered how her family couldn’t have done anything.

Never have I ever thought Siddaleigh was going to go through something like abuse. She was naïve but also a smart girl. The son of a bitch must have trapped her somehow. I tensed up when she continued, but placed a few gentle kisses on her temple to calm the tension somewhat. I kissed my way down her neck and nuzzled into her throat.

When her breath quickened, I figured distracting her was a good idea at this point so she wouldn’t be so tense. Unfortunately for me, that didn’t stop my cock from thickening in response to her body and my kisses. Her perfume was light but it brought out a sweet smell and my cock thickened even more. Her body stiffened when her sweet rear felt what kissing her did to me.

“Don’t worry about that, Siddaleigh. I’m sorry. Can’t help the way your body feels against mine. Just ignore him. Continue,
anamchara
.”

♥

..::Siddaleigh::..

Taking a deep breath, I knew I was almost finished. When he started kissing my neck and scratching his stubble on my throat, I was happily diverted for a moment. Then, when I felt him stiffen beneath my butt, I had one thought.
Oh dear God, he felt huge. Is it getting hot in here?
I knew my body stilled but not in apprehension. But with an OMG, he’s hard. For me. From my body. I want him. Now.

I couldn’t let him distract me though. When he told me to ignore his erection, I almost laughed. I was able to hold it in though. How he wanted me to ignore something so blatantly male was beyond me but the thoughts of continuing made me sober up just a bit out of my lust filled daze.

“After nine months of living together, I had been to the hospital three times. Once with a broken wrist, again with fractured ankle and the last time I’m not truly sure what happened because I passed out. That last time was when I made a plan to leave. He had threatened to do something to my sisters or their children if I tried leaving. So I did what I was told to do. I was afraid to go to the police. He somehow knew everywhere I went. I figured he had someone following me. I got to where I sensed I was being watched. I just knew when I had eyes on me. To think about all this now I know it seems as if I was stupid. And to say that all of that wasn’t the worst of this pathetic story is just the stinger.”

I sneaked a look at Konner and noticed he was trying to keep calm but the look in his eyes was intense. I noticed they were a shade darker, almost like a forest green. The rage he contained as I told him of being in the hospital even once made me shiver. I didn’t want to be scared of him, because I knew deep down he’d never hurt me. I just hated seeing a male angry in my vicinity. It made me worry and wonder what he was thinking.

♥

..::Konner::..

When she turned away, I knew she had seen how enraged I felt. I made myself calm down, because hearing her even be at the hospital because of this dirtbag, made me feel like killing someone. The dirtbag would do nicely. I breathed in and out for a moment, then I gently smoothed a finger down her cheek and turned her back to face me. I knew if I didn’t calm down, my voice would be like steel. So after taking a few deep breaths, I was able to speak normally with the lilt I’ve always had and never tried to shed.

“What do you mean you haven’t said the worst of it? All of it was bad, and then went to worse, then to horrific.”

I didn’t think I was going to be able to take much more of her story without doing something about it. Letting her get up and walk away towards the windows once more, I remained seated until the silence was beginning to tear me up inside. Taking it no longer, I got up from the sofa and shadowed her in the window, staring at her reflection in the glass and willed her to look up at me.

When she did, even with her reddened eyes, I saw a single tear come down her face and it was like a sucker punch to my heart.

“I am right here, love. Lean on me. Tell me the rest of it. I think I need to know what demons you’re facing,
ceann beag
. So I can find them and take them down.”

I knew it when she continued I was not going to like it. I hadn’t liked it since she mentioned getting with another guy. I always thought of her as mine and knowing another guy held her, and kissed her made my blood curdle in my veins. I didn’t blame her for earlier, when she said she was wary of being in a relationship. I understood why she didn’t want to be with anyone. I had to come up with a plan to change that. And soon.

♥

..::Siddaleigh::..

“Demons, right. Alright. When I first landed in the hospital, there was a volunteer doctor, Doctor Larsen. She always seemed to be there when I went. Right before that last time, I had went to her and told her the truth about the type of relationship I had and she understood and told me what I should do. Mikhail, that’s his name.”

It was the first time I said his name a loud after four and a half years. It still made me shudder. Konner noticed and felt the trembles in my body. Of course he did. I figured he was the type to notice every little detail. He gently put his strong hands on my waist to draw me back to him. I felt the solidity of his chest at my back and I felt like sinking into it. Soaked up his strength in my pores and it made me feel better. Strong enough to continue.

“You know, that was the first time I said his name a loud in over four years. I told the doctor I was okay but was too scared to go to the police. He had threatened my family. I didn’t want anything to happen to them. She had mentioned to me that maybe he wasn’t home or coming to me for sex because he got it elsewhere. He stayed out late a few times a week. When he came home, he slept in a different room. I was so happy that he left me alone. I never thought he was cheating on me then, but when Doctor Larsen said something, it sparked an anger in me I didn’t know I could possess. I might not have wanted his affection but cheating was cheating and I still didn’t appreciate it happening to me.

He pathetically came home with some perfume all over his clothes one night. I confronted him about it, and he said to not worry about it. I threw a flower vase at his head when he tried walking away from me. At the last second, he ducked. He turned to look at me and I knew this would be the end. I couldn’t do it anymore. I might be powerless, but I would rather be dead then to keep up with the farce that was my total existence.

He charged me and I was almost to the door when he grabbed a fist full of my hair. I had it really long back then, remember? He dragged me back and slammed me down between the couch and glass table, ripped my clothes off and raped me. God. It made me sick. Seeing me frightened turned him on. I tried fighting him; he only hit me harder. He grabbed my hands and wrestled them above my head, and right before I went unconscious, he got out his pocket knife, and put it against my stomach.”

I lifted up my silk blouse to show him the several slashes against my pale skin. The marks looked angry and ugly.

“Konner, I was pregnant. I lost the baby. I might not have willingly wanted his baby, and especially not from the result of rape, but that baby was innocent.”

Another gut wrenching sob took over and I didn’t want to talk about this anymore, not with Konner. I struggled to get out of his gentle embrace, but he just turned me around and held me close to his chest. I clenched my fists tightly, shoved my face against his neck to contain the wet eye and nose factory and knew Konner would understand until he told me, “Hit me, Siddaleigh.”