Love Changes Everything (34 page)

As she paid the stallholder and held out her hand to Cilla, ready to walk away, she saw tears fill the girl's eyes and there was such a look of disappointment on her face that Trixie hesitated.

As Cilla grabbed hold of her hand and pulled her back towards the rail Trixie gave in. Why shouldn't Cilla have a new dress as well? she asked herself. She doesn't have many pleasures in her little life. She has no friends of her own age, Daisy bullies her, Dad ignores her and she has to spend hours sitting in a corner while I work. It's almost Christmas and she's too old for toys so this could be her special treat.

Deep down Trixie knew that it would be far more sensible to buy her a warm winter coat because she had practically grown out of the one she had but that wouldn't have the same excitement attached to it as the new dress.

When she explained to Cilla that if she bought her a dress then it would be her Christmas present, Cilla clapped her hands enthusiastically. Together they sorted through what was on sale and finally found a blue wool dress with long sleeves and a reasonably high neckline that would be both pretty and sensible.

When Trixie handed the garment over, the stallholder studied Cilla with a kindly smile as she took the money and put the dress into a bag.

‘Would you like this to wear with your new dress?' she asked as she held out a pretty blue hairband to Cilla.

‘Sorry, it's lovely, but I haven't any more money to spare,' Trixie said quickly.

‘I'm not asking you to pay for it, luv,' the woman told her. ‘It's a little Christmas present. Isn't it, dear?' she said looking at Cilla who nodded and gave her a beaming smile.

When they reached home, Trixie smuggled the parcel into their bedroom and hid it underneath the bedclothes so that Daisy wouldn't find it. She put a finger on her lips to signal to Cilla that it was to be kept a secret.

The moment her father and Daisy went out to the pub she fetched the bag out of its hiding place and unfolded the two dresses. They were even nicer than she had thought when she'd chosen them.

Cilla was eager to try her dress on so Trixie helped her to change into it. When she saw the delight on her little sister's face as she put on the hairband and then admired herself in the mirror, Trixie felt it had been well worth sacrificing their savings for that week.

As she tried on her own new dress and discovered how well it fitted, Trixie hoped that Andrew would think it looked attractive when he saw her in it for the first time.

All day on Saturday she could think of nothing else. When she told Sylvia what was ahead Sylvia looked puzzled. ‘I thought it was Jake you were keen on,' she said in surprise. ‘All this talk of saving up to get a place of your own and Jake looking after the money and taking care of Cilla so that you can work and so on.'

‘Jake's the best friend in the world, I don't know how I would manage without him, but I'm in love with his friend, Andrew Bacon,' Trixie told her dreamily. ‘It's over two months since I last saw him and I can hardly wait for this evening.'

‘So is Jake going to this party as well?'

‘We hope so, if his mother will look after Cilla, otherwise Jake has will stay home with Cilla.'

Sylvia raised her eyebrows but said no more and for a moment Trixie wondered why she seemed to be so surprised by the arrangement. Did other people think that Jake was her boyfriend because they were always together and he did so much to help her? She pushed the matter to one side; all she wanted to think about was that she would soon be seeing Andrew again.

The party was in a restaurant in Great Homer Street and by the time Trixie and Jake arrived it was already very crowded with people neither of them knew.

The man on the door looked at them questioningly and explained that it was a private party. He didn't seem to be very convinced when Jake said they'd both been invited and insisted on calling over to Andrew to verify that this was true.

It took Andrew several minutes to extricate himself from the circle of back-slapping friends who surrounded him. As he began to make his way towards the door exchanging remarks with people as he did so, Jake raised a hand in greeting.

‘They're friends,' Andrew called out to the doorman, ‘you can let them in.'

Trixie waited expectantly for him to come over to them but instead he went back to the group he'd been talking to. Disappointed, Trixie let Jake take her coat and hand it to the cloakroom girl. She barely noticed his admiring look when he saw her new dress as they went into the restaurant.

As she stood there beside Jake, slowly sipping a glass of wine and looking around, she suddenly felt very out of things. She'd thought her new dress was lovely but in comparison with some of the dresses the other girls were wearing it was plain almost to the point of dowdiness. It was the sort of dress they would wear perhaps on a Sunday for going to church or spending the day with their family. Their party dresses were much more flimsy and floaty, in delicate silks and chiffons, with low necks, puff sleeves and fancy flouncing.

She wished she could turn and run away before Andrew realised how out of place she was in such a gathering. Even Jake, she reflected, although he was wearing his best suit, didn't look anywhere near as smartly dressed as the other men there, even though he was the most handsome.

She stole a sideways glance at him, wondering if he felt as uncomfortable and out of place as she did. He certainly didn't look as though he was enjoying himself, she thought ruefully. She was very glad that he was there because Andrew was paying her no attention whatsoever and she would have felt dreadfully out of things if she'd come on her own.

The evening was almost over before Andrew came over to where she and Jake were standing in a corner; he'd had so many drinks that he was very exuberant.

‘What's wrong with you two?' he greeted them. ‘Why aren't you enjoying the party? Come on; enter into the spirit of things.' He flicked open his cigarette case and held it out to Jake. ‘Your glass is almost empty and you're not even smoking!'

He turned to Trixie as if seeing her for the first time. ‘I haven't had time to talk to you properly, have I?' he admitted with an apologetic smile.

‘No, I'm still waiting to hear all about your course and if it was successful.'

‘Of course it was! What on earth do you think I'm celebrating otherwise?'

‘I hoped that perhaps it was because you were glad to be back in Liverpool again.'

He shrugged dismissively. ‘Any excuse for a good party, what do you say, Jake?'

‘I'll leave you two to catch up,' Jake said awkwardly.

‘There's no need, I can't stop now because they want me over there,' he nodded in the direction of the crowd he'd been with, ‘things will probably quieten down in about another hour so the three of us will have a chance to get together then.'

‘That's if we're still here,' Jake said, looking at his watch.

‘Why, where are you going?' Andrew frowned. ‘The night's still young; it's not even midnight yet.'

‘It had better not be,' Trixie said quickly. ‘I've left Cilla with Ella and she likes to go to bed around eleven.'

‘Cilla or Ella?' Andrew said with a sneering laugh.

‘My mother,' Jake said quietly. ‘She's not much of a one for late nights so we'll have to be off soon.'

‘Well, perhaps I'll see you tomorrow afternoon, Trixie, when you take Cilla to the park,' Andrew said almost dismissively as someone caught hold of his arm and began to pull him back into the noisy crowd in the middle of the room.

‘I don't go to the park on a Sunday any more. I work on a Sunday,' Trixie called after him.

He didn't even turn; he merely waved a hand in the air and she wasn't even sure if he'd heard what she'd said.

Trixie had been looking forward to seeing Andrew again so much that she felt very disheartened and let down as they left the restaurant. It should be Andrew, not Jake, walking her home, she thought disconsolately and then felt cross with herself for thinking that when Jake had gone to so much trouble to make sure she could go to the party.

Chapter Thirty

The first thing Sylvia wanted to know when Trixie went to work on the Sunday was how she had enjoyed the party and although Trixie told her that it had been good fun she knew in her heart that it had been a terrible disappointment.

To have been so near to Andrew, to see have seen him laughing and talking with all his close friends while she and Jake had been left almost isolated, left her feeling desolate and unloved.

She wasn't sure what Jake had felt but she had been very conscious that he hadn't gone out of his way to push into the crowd that was surrounding Andrew. Even when the two of them did eventually talk to each other there had been no real spark between them.

Jake seemed to be able to accept that Andrew had grown away from him and found new friends, but then it was different for him. They'd merely been school friends; she was in love with Andrew and she had thought he had deep feelings for her, but now she wasn't so sure.

Meeting up wasn't going to be easy now that she worked all day on a Saturday and Sunday. She could hardly expect Jake and Ella to look after Cilla in the evening as well as all day. There was no point in suggesting to Andrew that they went to the pictures one night in the week instead of on a Saturday night because she worked until eight o'clock every evening from Monday to Friday.

It was now so near to Christmas that by the look of things Andrew was going to be caught up in celebrations with his friends and family and have no time at all for her.

She'd had so many dreams for the new year but now 1927 looked as though it might turn out to be no better than any other year had been. She still hadn't found a room that she could afford and life at Virgil Street was getting worse by the day.

She'd resigned herself to not seeing Andrew till after Christmas so she was surprised when she bumped into him in Scotland Road one evening when she was on her way to her cleaning job in Cazneau Street.

He seemed taken aback when she told him that she couldn't stop to talk because she was on her way to work.

‘Where is it? What time do you finish? I could come and meet you afterwards,' he suggested. ‘I haven't seen anything of you except very briefly at my party since I got back.'

‘I finish at eight. I work at the chiropodist's in Cazneau Street.'

‘I'll be waiting for you,' he called after her.

All the time she polished and cleaned she kept thinking about Andrew, she was so elated that he still wanted to go on seeing her. Even so, she was almost afraid to believe that he would be there waiting for her when she finished work.

‘At last,' he exclaimed, giving her a peck on the cheek and ignoring Cilla. ‘Come on, let's go for a drink and I'll tell you all about what's been happening and you can tell me about your job?' he told her, putting his arm around her and hugging her close.

‘That will be lovely, Andrew, but it will have to be a milk bar because Cilla is too young to go into a pub.'

‘Let's take her home first, then.'

‘I'm sorry, but I can't do that. I can't leave her there on her own.'

‘Why not? Won't your father be there, or that woman who lives with him? Can't they keep an eye on her for an hour or two?'

‘It's not safe to leave Cilla with them because—'

‘Then in that case if we can't go for a drink I'll walk you home and see you some other time,' he said abruptly, cutting short her explanation.

Hurt and disappointed she still insisted on explaining what had happened to turn Daisy even more against Cilla.

‘That's why I'm working every evening as well as at weekends. I'm trying to save up enough money to be able to rent a room and move out. Daisy is evil, and I'm scared she'll do us some real harm if she gets the chance. I really am frightened, Andrew.'

‘Then perhaps you should leave there before she does,' he advised. He took out his cigarette case and selected one. ‘Perhaps it's time you moved in with me?' he suggested, exhaling a cloud of smoke.

Trixie stared at him, her eyes shining with love and relief. ‘Oh that would be wonderful, Andrew,' she gasped. ‘Do you really mean it? It would be perfect. When . . . when can we arrange it?'

‘Soon.' He shrugged. ‘I'll have to make some plans and arrange things first,' he told her.

‘It can't be soon enough,' she told him fervently.

‘I understand, sweetheart, but don't worry. We'll fix up something early in the New Year.'

‘Oh that would be fantastic!' Stopping, she stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek, all her fears about how much he cared for her gone.

He pulled her into his arms, nuzzling her neck and then kissing her passionately. ‘You've no idea how much I want this, how much I want to make you mine completely and have you all to myself,' he whispered hotly. ‘Look, I must go now,' he murmured. He turned on his heel and walked off in the other direction before she had the chance to ask him anything else; even when he was hoping they could be married.

Trixie found every minute of waiting was sheer hell. She was on edge, tense and suspicious of everything Daisy said or did. Knowing that she couldn't leave Cilla alone with Daisy, not even for a few minutes, was so worrying that in the end she could stand the strain no longer. She decided one afternoon to leave early for work and to see if she could meet Andrew as he left the bank to find out what plans he was making for them.

She left Cilla looking at a book while she went into the bedroom to get ready. Within minutes she could hear Cilla screaming and Daisy's raised voice. As she hurried back into the living room she was in time to grab Daisy's upraised arm as she was about to lash out at Cilla who was crouched on the floor at the side of the table, cowering as Daisy stood over her, threatening her with a rolling pin.