Love Forever After (Candle Light Series) (2 page)

I nodded. She was right my wife wasn’t in there so this shouldn’t be so difficult. I took a staggering step forward and faced the dark hole. I raised my hand over it. Forcing my fingers to relax, I let the red sand flow out of it.

A long line of people followed, pouring sand into the hole as they made their way back to their cars. This was their final goodbye before everything went back to normal in their lives. But for me it was the beginning of my slow long lonely death.

I looked down at the head stone and read the beautiful engraved marble. The phrase set in stone made more sense to me now. It felt like the words were not only curved in the rock but I could feel the pounding, chipping of my heart as the words were etched in it too.

Christina Lee James-Stanford

Loving daughter, sister
, wife and humanitarian

Your shinning light will forever be missed.

Chapter Two

I walked into my office feeling like a different man, a happier man. I had three months paid leave but I only took one. There was no need to stay home any more. Everything was right in the world again.

The walk up the corridor to my corner office was like walking down a cat walk with a ridiculously crazy outfit on and the audience was staring at me like I was equally crazy. All my co-workers watched me like some moving advertisement. Most of them called out their condolences other just gave me a pity smile, but I was sure they all were wondering why I was walking around with a smile on my face after the tragedy I just suffered.

Well I had a reason for my smile- a long legged, petit, beautiful hypnotising reason.

I moved behind my desk and sat down. It felt strange being in my seat again, but great to be back at work. I loved advertising. It gave me the platform to use my imagination and let my creativity run wild. My wife always said it was my witchcraft and I was the best at it.

“Mr. Stanford, you have Mr. Wesley on line two.” Sarah my secretary spoke on the intercom.

It was just a matter of time before the grape vine about my arrival reached John. And I bet he too must be wondering why I was back so soon. I picked up the phone expecting to play twenty one questions with him, “Good morning John.”

“Will, what are you doing back so soon? You have two months left.”  He sounded worried and very perplexed. But I knew I was bound to encounter that kind of reaction.

“I didn’t see a reason to keep staying at home.”

“Your wife just died.”

I felt a small pinch in my chest when he said that. “I know that, you don’t have to remind me. I need to work.” The long pause on the other end echoed my own thought. I did sound a little bitter and resentful. I didn’t mean to. I just hated it when someone put those two words, ‘wife’ and ‘dead’ in one sentence when addressing me.

But I didn’t have a reason to be bitter and resentful anymore, that part of my life is long gone.

“If you think you are ready... then it’s fine by me.” He said, sounding reserved.

I bit my tongue wishing I could start the whole conversation all over again. I shouldn’t have been so harsh. I appreciated his concern for me but if he knew what was happening in my life, about this new light in my world, he wouldn’t be worried at all. “Thanks. I have a lot to catch up on, see you around.”

“Sure,” his voice echoed doubt.

I was glad he wasn’t going to push even though he may think that I can’t keep my head in the game. There was nothing I could say that would change that, the only thing I could do was show him. I placed the receiver back in place and opened the files on my desk. They were all accounts that I had already concluded. John must have given my pending work to someone else.

I pressed the buzzer on the intercom, “Sarah, would you please get all my accounts back. I’d like to have them on my desk as soon as possible if you don’t mind.”

Within the next twenty minutes I had all my files back. I hit at them one by one, going through the changes and additions already made, cancelling what I didn’t like and adding my own ideas to them. By the end of the day, the gossip in the office had done its rounds. Most people thought I had suffered a nervous break down, others said I was burying myself in work to cope with my loss. I didn’t pay much attention to it. I was back at work because I wanted to be here, there was no other reason behind it.

*

Everything felt normal, like nothing had changed in my life. I took a cab to my Manhattan apartment like I always did, I greeted the door man on my way up as usual, I made polite conversation with my neighbours in the elevator, I walked down the hall to my door dodging the kids running around and opened the door to my home. And met the most glorious sight that I was eager to kiss, of the woman I love slaving over the stove to prepare me a meal befitting a king.

I placed my briefcase down and hanged my coat in the closet. “Hi honey.”

“Hi, how was work?” Kristy answered back with a beautiful smile on her face. I had only been gone for the day and I’d missed her so much. I walked to her, pulled her into my arms and gave her a long deep kiss.

She smiled up at me, “What was that for?”

I held her tighter against me and looked down into her big beautiful brown eyes- they were so hypnotic. “I missed you.”

She laughed, “You’ve only been gone eight hours!”

The laugh in her voice was musical. I looked forward to hearing it every minute of every day. 

I rubbed my nose against hers, “It felt like eight years away from you.” She laughed even louder.

“When you pull out your English charm it always means something’s up, so what’s up?” she raised her brow and starred at me, suspicion written all over her face.

I pulled away and sat on a stool at the counter facing her.
“Am I only charming when I have something to confess?”

“When you’ve done something wrong or you want something or when you want to sweep me off my feet. So which one is it?”

“I’m not telling. You’re suspicious nature just cost you that answer, but I will answer your first question.” I picked up an apple from the fruit basket on the far corner of the counter and bit into it, “Work was amusing.”

She went back to her cooking, chopping vegetables and pouring them into the pot,
“Why?”

“My colleagues think I’ve suffered a nervous break down because I’m back at work so soon.”

She stopped what she was doing and turned to me, confused. “What else were you supposed to do?”

I loved the way her eyebrow rose and her eyes widened a bit when she was confused or didn’t understand a joke or when I practiced my work presentation with her as my target audience and she had no idea what I was talking about.

I picked up a very orange carrot piece and munched on it, “Hide in my apartment and wallow in my misery and sorrow.”

“Stanford’s don’t wallow they face their problems head on or use their money to make it go away.” I stared at her wide eyed.

“You aren’t included in that last part,” she quickly added. “They should meet your mother.” Her voice had an undertone of annoyance.

Kristy and mother never got along. They had different opinions on the same subject and were totally and completely opposites of each other. Maybe that’s why I loved her so much.

Gloria was extravagant with money while Kristy saw it best to save and donate to as many charities as she possibly could. Mother ranked people’s importance depending on their background and the amount of money they had while Kristy saw everyone as equally important except for those who destroyed nature for personal gain.

I loved everything about Kristy, she was my conscious and the best part of me. Mother always saw her as my way of rebelling against her. I won’t deny that was an added benefit seeing my mother frown on my choices- which drove her crazy trying to correct my mistakes.

“The only reason you still respect my mother’s existence is because I ask you to.”

“No, it’s because I love you and I don’t have any other choice,” she said with a very patient look on her face.

“You and mother never hit it off. You two are as civil to each other as two hungry lions in a six by eight cage.” I laughed remembering the shouting match they once had over my mother’s choice of wardrobe.

“I don’t like people who are cruel to animals,” Kristy said with a frown.

“She has two dogs she treats better than either of us. The only thing cruel about that is that she dresses them in matching sailor suits.”

“Your mother has real fur in her closet. Did she stop to think about the poor creature that was missing it? No.” She retorted, taking her aggression out on the poor veggies, “What if it was her fur someone was wearing? I tell you one day those poor creatures will go calling.”

“The revenge of the wild,” I said dramatically. She lifted the spoon and pointed it at me, before she could do anything else with it the door bell rang. I rose to answer it; grateful that who ever it was just saved me from a beating.

“Morris.” Caught off guard I added quickly, “how are you?” He was the last person I expected to see. He had been here only two days ago and he was the type of guy you saw once in a blue moon. Well, once a month.

What did he want?

“I’m good. Who are you talking to?” He stepped in and headed for the living room, “And what are you cooking, it smells good.” I closed the door and followed him. The kitchen was empty and the steaming pot was left unattended. Kristy must have gone into the bedroom.

“No one. I’m making some beef stew, with no beef. Would you like to stay for dinner?” I asked half heartedly begging he would say no.

“Wow, no beef? My sister ruined you!” He joked sadly, “No, I’m not going to stay for too long.”

Yes! “So what brings you by?”

“I heard you’re back at work. Don’t you think it’s too soon?”

I should have expected this, but it was out of place that Morris was the one who was here asking. This was Sandra’s forte. “What would your sister say?”

He took off his coat and sat down.
“Live while you still have a life to live.”

I sat down opposite him,
“Exactly.”

He looked around for a while before he settled on me, he looked distressed and confused, “How can you stand to stay here, don’t the memories torture you?”

I’d never thought of moving, it wasn’t an option for me, and one I wasn’t willing to consider, “It’s why I stay, the memories keep me sane.” 

“Everyone has their own way of coping.” Morris’s face dulled before it creased in anger, “I talked to the district attorney today, he said the judge will rule on the sentencing tomorrow. I hope he gets life for what he did to my sister!”

I felt a cold chill run over me. It had been a while since I bothered to think of my wife’s murderer. I never attended a single trail; I found it difficult just sitting there, with the killer a few feet away from me and not attack him. The night of the accident still played in my mind like a movie that was stuck on a loop.

We just had dinner to celebrate our third anniversary. We got in the car and drove talking and laughing about the chef who told off a customer after he sent back his steak complaining it wasn’t well done.  We were so sure the chef was going to show him how well done he could make him and his steak. I tried to slow down when we got to a red light but the car wouldn’t stop. We crossed into the intersection and the next thing I heard was my wife screaming as two bright lights came for us. I pulled her down and covered her as much as I could with my body and then the car was hit. The last thing I heard was metal crushing against metal as the car spun after we were hit again at the back before everything went black.

I woke up in the hospital after been in a coma for two weeks to be told my wife was dead. I went so crazy with rage and sorrow that the doctors had to sedate me at a three hourly interval and kept me strapped to my bed. I wanted to die that day, but I wanted to kill the man who did this too me and more.

The police caught the man who killed my wife a few weeks later. He was apparently someone my wife’s protesting group had managed to shut down because of his illegal disease experiments on animals. He’d lost everything he owned. I always wondered why he picked her and not someone else to take revenge on. There were three other protest leaders to choose from.

I blinked a few times and pulled myself out of the painful daze I was in. I looked up at Morris’s worried face, and smiled. “They caught him and he’s going to pay for what he did to us. But we need to go on with our lives now that the final chapter is over and done with.”

Morris’s face relaxed, “You should give me the number to that shrink your mother got you. She seems to be a miracle worker.”

I laughed, glad we were changing the topic, “She’s cute too, and maybe she’ll be able to convince you to stop being a bachelor.”

“I highly doubt that. I’m the black version of your brother Ron, love them and leave them. Speaking of Casanova, when will we see him again?”