Love & Hate (Book One: Hate) (11 page)

We are almost finished loading the coolers in the back of Tanner’s Ford King Ranch when I feel the hair on the back of my neck stand straight up. I know who is behind me instantly but I silently pray I am wrong.

“
Where are you going Paige?” Cutter’s voice is cold. When I turn around I come face-to-face with his menacing eyes.
Deep breath, you can do this just play it cool!

“
Hi Cutter. We are going to Montana with Tanner and the gang for the weekend.” I say nonchalantly.

“
The hell you are.” He steps closer to me.
Whoa who the heck does he think he is?

Just as I am about to tell him he can mind his own damn business and that he has no right to tell me what I can or can’t do, Tanner emerges.

“
Hey Cut, thought you already left for home.” He says seemingly unaware of the exchange we are having.

Cutter turns his angry gaze on Tanner and says “Paige isn’t going with you.”
Whoa, excuse me?

“
I am too Cutter. You can’t dictate what I do and don’t do. You have no right.” I state fiercely as I watch Tanner stand there with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“
Fine, then I will go with.” He snaps.
No, no, no that is not the plan for this weekend.

“
Cool man, you going to ride with us or are you going to drive your own truck?” Tanner asks smiling.

“
Paige and I’ll drive my truck. Just let me run in the house and grab a few things.”
That is not going to happen! I’m riding with Tanner and Millie.

“
Sounds good, we are going to head out just call us when you get close to Missoula and I’ll give you directions to our camp site.” Tanner says as he jumps up in his truck. Millie is already sitting in the passenger side seat waiting to leave.

Before Cutter turns to run in the house he looks at me angrily. “Get in my truck Paige. I’ll only be a few minutes.”
You are not my boss, asshat!

“
I’m going to ride with Millie and Tanner.” I state in defiance with my head held high.

“
Do. Not. Argue. Get in my truck.” His eyes are daring me to defy him. I choose to not engage him further and he goes in the house.

I walk over to Tanner’s truck to talk to Millie. “Mills I don’t want to ride with him. I’d rather ride in here with you guys.” I say looking at her and Tanner.

“
I know you would, but I don’t think he is giving you a choice here. Maybe it will be good. You two can talk out your issues. If all else fails just zone out and enjoy the drive.” Millie says shrugging her shoulders.
Not helping Millie!

“
It will be fine Paige, if you really can’t handle it call me and you can come ride with us.” Tanner says reassuringly.

“
Fine, but if someone doesn’t survive this drive the blood is on both your hands.” I grumble.

“
We will see you there okay? And I promise we will have fun.” Millie smiles at me.

“
Yeah sure, see you there.” I mutter as I stalked over to get in Cutter’s truck.
This is going to suck butt!

Cutter didn’t take long to grab his stuff from the house. He didn’t say anything to me when he got in the truck he just turned up the radio. Which was fine with me, I fell asleep about half way to Missoula.

“
Paige, wake up.” He says as he lightly shakes my arm.

I open my eyes to see we have pulled off into a truck stop. “Oh hey, where are we?” I ask groggy from my little nap.

“
We just crossed into Montana.” He says grabbing his wallet from the center console. “Come on lets go get snacks.”

“
Alright.” I follow him into the truck stop. I grab a few things, mostly junk food.
Hey, I’m on vacation right?

“
You set?” He asks as I walk toward the front of the store. He is waiting by the register.

“
Yup I think so.” I tell him as I put my stuff on the counter.

“
All this and gas on number five out there.” He says looking at the cashier.

“
Oh you don’t have to buy mine.” I protest.

“
It’s okay I got it. It’s the least I could do after I forced you to ride with me.” The cashier gives me a curious look. She is probably wondering if he kidnapped me or something. I’m half tempted to give her a signal for help.

“
Thanks.” I grab my stuff and start walking toward the truck.

Cutter fills the truck up and climbs back in the driver seat. We are on the road only a few minutes when I can feel him looking at me. “So are you going to talk to me? Or are you going to sulk over there the whole time?”
I am not sulking! I am pissed there is a huge difference.

“
What do you want to talk about Cutter?” I say in a sickly sweet voice.

“
I want to know why you freaked out the other night when we were making out.”
Oh crap, does he really want to go there again?

“
I didn’t freak out. I just simply asked you a question. A question you never really answered by the way.” I counter.

“
I did answer your question. I told you that I don’t play games, remember?”
Of course I remember dumbass. I have only been obsessing over our last conversation for two weeks.

“
If that’s true then what is it that you want from me?” I surprise myself at my question.

Cutter doesn’t respond. I can tell he is thinking about me question. “I don’t know, okay? I don’t know what I’m doing. I know I should just walk away. I know that, but I just can’t.” He sighs in frustration.

I don’t know how to respond so I just remain silent watching the beautiful landscape roll by. I don’t know how long we drive in silence before I decide to ask the million dollar question.

“
Why do you hate me so much?”

He remains still looking forward with both hands clenching the wheel.

He sucks in a breath. “I don’t hate you Paige.”

“
Well it sure seems like you do, or did. I don’t even know anymore.” I say honestly.

“
I know you don’t, and that is my fault.” He murmurs.
What is going on here? If he doesn’t hate me then why was he so mean to me for all those years?

I don’t know what to say to any of that. He apparently doesn’t know what to say either. So once again we fall into a quiet pattern of listening to the radio.

We are about twenty minutes outside Missoula when Cutter pulls out his phone and calls Tanner for directions to the campsite. I can hear Tanner telling him how to get there and that they have everything all set up already. I can’t wait to be around other people and out of this depressing truck.

It doesn’t take long for us to find the group. Cutter pulls the truck into the campsite. I am totally relieved to be here. I grab the handle to open the door when he reaches over and grasps my wrist stopping me.

“
I’m sorry Paige. I need you to know that.” He looks tired.

“
Okay.” I reply. He closes his eyes and releases my hand. I jump down from the truck and wonder off to find Millie.
Whatever is going on with Cutter was officially not my problem. I am ready to have some fun.

CHAPTER 10

The weekend so far has been really fun. Once my awkward car ride was over things started to improve, I had found Millie and she instantly put me at ease. The guys started a large fire and you could tell there was some obvious coupling happening. I was relieved when Mills told me that she and I were sharing a tent. I was concerned that I wouldn’t sleep well on the hard river bed. But I was just drunk enough I passed out and slept like the dead. The next day when Mills and I woke up the boys were already fly fishing.

We watch them for a few minutes before we decide to grab our lawn chairs and fully enjoy the view. Cutter is the furthest down the river. He has on black waders and a green flannel shirt with his sleeves rolled up. I am in awe as I watch him easily cast out his line and patiently wait and then recast his line. He is so ruggedly handsome. I can tell he is really enjoying himself. He has a relaxed smile on his face. He looks completely content.

Cutter must have felt me watching him because his head turns and he looks at me. A grimace comes across his face when he catches me looking at him. I immediately shift uncomfortably in my chair so I am no longer staring at him. It hurts knowing that I am the source of his irritation. Maybe I should have just stayed back at school.

After about an hour of watching the boys fish, I suggest to Millie that maybe we should go into town to pick up some supplies. She agrees and asks Tanner to borrow his truck. There was no way in hell I was going to ask Cutter for his. Thankfully I didn’t have to and Tanner gave us his keys.

Millie and I explored downtown Missoula for hours. We enjoyed checking out all the little shops and I especially enjoyed wondering around the western stores. There is something about the smell of leather goods that just warms my heart. Once we finished our tour of downtown we headed to a grocery store to pick up some food before we go back to the campsite.

When we return from our adventure in town the boys are just heading back out to do some more fishing. I can see most of the guys have brought their dates out to fly fish as well. Tanner offers to teach Millie and she excitedly agrees. I decide to take a walk. I want to explore the beautiful river. I just start my walk when Cutter catches up with me.

“
Hey where are you going?”

“
Just for a walk.” I tell him.

“
Well I was coming to see if you wanted to try fly fishing.”

“
Oh I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” I murmur.

“
Sure it is, come on.”
What’s with this sudden change of attitude?

“
Alright.” I say as I follow him toward the campsite.
Maybe this is like a peace offering or something?

After putting on waders and some other funky gear I am officially ready to fly fish. Cutter and I wade out into the river. It is much harder to do than what it looks like from shore. Cutter shows me where to stand. We are waist deep in the river now. He takes the fishing pole from me and instructs me how to cast the line. I am mesmerized watching how skillfully he flicks his wrist and watches the line dance out in front of him. There is definitely an art to casting and Cutter is a clear master at it. He hands me the fishing pole adjusting my hand to wear it needs to be.

“
Just let your hand follow my hand, okay? I’m going to help you cast.” He tells me as he places his hand on top of mine. I let his strong hand guide my arm back and flick it forward with his momentum. There is something incredibly intimate about this moment and it sends a shiver through me. Cutter continues to help me cast out my line and I try to remain focused. He is standing so close our bodies are completely pressed back to front. I can feel the familiar warmth spread throughout my body. This always occurs when Cutter touches me. We fall into a hypnotic pattern of casting and recasting. Cutter doesn’t leave my side the entire time.