Love & Hate (Book One: Hate) (2 page)

“
Why do you let them treat you like that?”

“
I don’t. They just treat me like that and I choose to not be around them.”
I can’t believe this dude wants to ask me about the “why’s” of this situation right now. Can’t he tell I am like full on panic attacking right now?

“
Well you choose how you let people treat you.”
Seriously! I am getting a self-esteem lecture right now, really? Who is this guy?

“
There you are Piglet!” Cooper calls out.
Oh hell!

Cooper has caught up to me thanks to Mr. Questions over here. And surprise Cooper has brought a little group with him including his hot brother.
God what is wrong with me? How can I think Cutter is hot when he is practically leading this lynch mob? I am so messed up.

“
Enough!”
What the heck. Mr. Questions is telling Cooper to stop, this should be interesting.
“
Leave her be Coop and get back to the party.” The dark stranger drawls.

“
Oh come on Jasp we are just having some fun, lighten up.” Cooper slurs.

“
I said enough, now leave her alone.”
Oh crap, Mr. Questions is Cooper’s best friend Jasper Callaway.
Why in the world is he standing up for me?

Well whatever the reason is I am thankful because it stops Cooper. Him and the rest of the group sauntered back toward the party leaving me standing against my car dumbfounded. Jasper stands across from me making sure the little group heads back to the party, which is happening except for Cutter. He just keeps starring at us. He looks so angry. I can feel his hate radiating off of him in waves. He is seething and I know that is because of me. He can’t stand me.

“
You too Cutter, leave her be.” Jasper rasps. Cutter hesitates like he wants to say something but then just nods instead. To my relief he follows the others back to the party.

“
Thank you so much.” I say to Jasper.

“
It’s nothing. Just sick of hearing this shit from them. You need to stand up for yourself. I might not be around next time.” Jasper is right of course. I nod in agreement and he stalks off.

Lacey comes rushing towards me looking concerned and pissed. “You okay girly?”

“
Yeah I survived it. But I’m ready to go home. Are you coming with?” I know she won’t say yes but I always ask anyways. I never worry if Lacey will make it home okay. She is smart and a spitfire. I honestly feel bad for the person who dares to mess with her.

“
I’m going to stay. You should too. I heard Jasper defended you. Everyone is talking about how crazy that was. Maybe he likes you.” She nudges my arm in jest.
Great,
j
ust what I need more gossip starring yours truly.

“
No thanks I’m exhausted. I’ll see you at home?” She knows I am not having any of it.

“
Okay. I love you! See you at home.” She says as I climb in the Rover.

I get half way to the main road before the tears really start flowing.
God I can’t wait until I’m out of this town, I hate it here!

CHAPTER 1

“
You know I don’t trust him Jasp. He hates me. His brother hates me too. Why would he volunteer to help me out? I don’t trust him.” I whine.

“
I know you don’t trust him and that’s fine. You don’t have to trust him. You just have to trust me. If Cutter says he will bring your extra boxes over to school for you, then he will do it.”

“
Fine, but if he is mean to me I’m never going to listen to you again.”

“
I promise he will be on his best behavior. Has anyone messed with you in that last year?” Jasper asks with his eyebrow raised.

“
No. It’s just hard to forget how they really feel about me.”

“
They don’t even know you Paige, but I do.” He gives me a flirty smile.

Jasper has been a great friend to me ever since that horrible night at the river over a year ago. It turns out Jasp did have a thing for me. Too bad I don’t exactly have the same feelings. Sure he is ruggedly handsome with his dark hair and dark eyes. He looks like he could wrestle a steer to the ground in two seconds flat, but for me there is just something missing. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my time with him and kissing him isn’t half bad either. But there just isn’t that spark I have always assumed would be there. He is good to me though, he treats me extremely well. My parents even approve. Dad likes him so much he gave him a part time job on the farm working the heavy equipment.

“
Okay, well if you say it will be okay then I trust you.” I sigh. “I better get this horse washed up and put away so he can eat his dinner.” I hop down off my loudly colored Paint horse named Bismarck. We call him The Biz for short. He is my favorite horse on the farm. I have had him for almost fifteen years and he has taken me all of the country winning tons of awards. He was my youth show horse. He is now retired and only has to put up with the occasional ride from me.

“
Alright, I need to head home anyways. I’ll see you later tonight?” That flirty smile of his has returned.

“
Yes. I’ll meet you at your place later.” I smile back at him and start walking The Biz to the wash rack.

It is after nine before I get myself cleaned up and in the car headed to Jasper’s house. Jasp has recently bought his own home and has been busy renovating it. He is only twenty-two but he is an extremely hard worker. He has his new little house looking great and I couldn’t be prouder of him. I should be happy to have such a reliable and sweet guy for a boyfriend, but for some reason I can’t picture my life with him.

Maybe I have these feelings because I’m leaving for school tomorrow. I will be over six hours away from home and on my own for the first time. I have been accepted to Oklahoma University, the University of Texas and Washington State University. My parents put the brakes on me going out of state so that only left Wazzu. It is fine with me though, I have heard nothing but great things about the school.

I pull into Jasper’s drive and head on into his house. As soon as I hit the entry way I can smell the cooking. He is busy in the kitchen making what looks like a feast. I then notice he has set the dining room table with candles.
Oh geez, he is being romantic.

“
What’s all this?” I ask trying not to show my shock.

“
I just wanted us to have a nice quiet evening before you leave tomorrow. What? Can’t a guy be romantic?”

“
Well thank you. It all looks amazing.”
Crap of all craps. I’m a horrible person.

We finish our dinner and I started to clear the plates. Dinner was amazing just like it looked and smelled. Jasp cooked chicken fajitas, my favorite. I start thinking how sweet he is and how I will miss him while I’m gone at school. As I am loading the dishwasher I can feel him standing behind me. As I stand he pulls me against his chest and starts peppering my neck with light kisses.

“
Jasp, I should really get going. I need to get some sleep before the big move tomorrow.” I try my best to sound tired.

“
Paige we need to talk.”
Uh oh, that does not sound good.

“
Okay, let’s talk.” I try to seem nonchalant.

“
I know you are leaving tomorrow and neither of us is planning on doing this thing long distance. I still think that’s for the best., but I think we should have sex before you leave for school.”
What. The. Heck! Is he joking?

“
Umm well that’s not exactly what I was expecting.” I say trying to stall to give my brain enough time to catch up with this situation.

“
Look I know it would be your first time, I just think maybe it’s for the best. I don’t want you to go to school and end up losing your virginity to some drunken frat boy. I have given this a lot of thought.”

“
Yeah, I’m sure you have, but the answer is still no Jasp. I understand what you are saying but I’m just not ready, okay?” Part of me has actually considered what Jasper is suggesting. Heck, Lacey has been on my ass to do the damn thing for this entire year, but it just never felt right.

“
Okay. Just promise me one thing?” Jasper asks looking at me softly.

“
What?”
Would it really be so bad if I just slept with Jasper? Maybe I should. I know he cares about me.

“
Promise me that when you are ready, make sure he loves you. Don’t settle for anything less.”
Oh my God is Jasper trying to tell me he loves me? Oh wow, I can’t deal with this right now. I need to get out of here fast.

“
I promise Jasper.” I say looking at my feet trying to ignore the hurt and disappointment I see in his eyes.

We say our goodbyes and I climb into my car to head home.
Well shit, that did not go how I thought it would at all. I hope I didn’t hurt Jasp too much and I hope we will remain close friends.

On the way home I call my best friend and sister from another mister, Tessa. Tess and I have gone to private school together and had instantly become close in fifth grade. She is the only person I implicitly trust with everything in my life. She is witty, beautiful and extremely blunt. Probably the thing I love most about her is her bluntness. She has this uncanny ability to just say the exact thing you know to be true without the sugarcoated bullshit. She is also extremely gorgeous. She is tall with jet black hair and she is this incredible mix of cultures making her totally exotic. Boys flock to her but she has always been selective and discerning in whom she dates.

“
Hey lady, you ready for the big move tomorrow?” Tess always calls me lady, it is her thing.

“
Yup, just left Jasper’s I was just saying goodbye.”

“
Oh are you going to cry or something?” Tess doesn’t cry it is a rarity. I am the emotional one in the friendship.

“
No I am not. I will miss him though.”

“
Miss him enough to sleep with him?”

“
NO! Why would you say that?”
God, she is such a mind reader.

“
Everyone knows that boy wants you and you just keep teasing him. Did he attempt to get you naked?” I can hear the laughter in her voice.

“
No. We did not get naked for your information. I told him I wasn’t ready.”

“
Oh shit! I was just guessing! I didn’t realize he actually did try to get you naked. Oh wow, what did you do?” Now I know she is full on grinning.

“
I told him I wasn’t ready.”

“
Well did he buy that?”

“
He didn’t have to buy anything. It’s the truth. I’m not ready.”

“
You know it’s not that big of deal. You need to stop making it some grandiose experience. It is painful and it’s typically over way too quick. After that it gets better, but your first time will suck so don’t build it up so much.” There is that bluntness I have learned to love from Tess.

“
I’ll keep that in mind. Who knows maybe I’ll find a nice frat boy to lose it to.” I know this would get her going.

“
Okay let’s not be ridiculous here. We both know you could not handle that type of situation.”
The mother hen is really coming out now in full force. I feel somewhat bad for teasing her but it is so easy.

“
I would never do that and you know it. I’m just giving you crap.” I reassure her.

“
I know it just scares me that you’re going to be across the state and you don’t know anyone.” I can hear the worry in her voice now and I do feel bad for making her worry.

“
Don’t worry about me. I will be fine. And I do know one person going to school over there.” I am full on provoking the bull now and I know it will be my fault when I get the horns.

“
Who? That bitch-face Laney Davis? You know I don’t trust that girl.” I can hear the rage coming in Tess’ voice. Tess hates Laney Davis. She is a local girl who went to public school but frequents the private school parties. She has always been pleasant to me but for some reason Tess just doesn’t trust her.

“
Alright, I know two people going to WSU, Laney Davis and Cutter Daniels is also going there. In fact he is going to bring over some boxes for me that I couldn’t fit in my parent’s car.”
Bomb officially dropped.

“
Hold on, Cutter volunteered to haul your stuff all across the state for you? Why? He hates you. This makes no sense.” She is starting to totally freak out now. I know we are moments away from a full on rant.