Love & Hate (Book One: Hate) (24 page)

I have been really busy myself. My parents got home this morning and I have been rushing around all day helping unload trailers and getting the horses put away after their long journey home from Oklahoma. All the horses have come off the haulers surprisingly calm and in good shape. Sometimes after long hauls like that they are sore or even wild. I’m grateful they all seem to be readjusting well.

The day flies by and before I know it I am rushing around getting ready for the party tonight. Lacey is going to the party tonight at the river too so I suggested we of course ride together. I am currently trying to figure out what the heck I should wear. It is cold out so I’m thinking my black North Face jacket and jeans will be the warmest. I did my platinum hair in my signature loose curls because I know Cutter loves it this way. He told me the other night while he made love to me. Just thinking about it makes me flush with excitement.

I text Lacey and tell her to meet me in the driveway. When I leave my room, I find my parents on the couch watching television. I kiss them goodbye and tell them I won’t be out late. I’m glad they are home but sad that Cutter and I no longer have the run of the place.

Lacey is outside waiting for me and she of course is wearing something not weather appropriate. We climb in my black Range Rover and head to the party.

The river is packed as usual. It’s the Wednesday before Thanksgiving which is a notorious towny holiday. Everyone is home and attempting to blow off some steam before they have to spend endless hours with their families. As I pull up I see Cutter’s truck and I breathe easier knowing he is already here.

Cutter meets Lacey and I as we get out of the car. “Hey baby.” He says and kisses me.

“
Hey to you too” I say back to him in between kisses.

“
I can’t handle this love fest. I’m out of here.” Lacey says as she strides off toward the party.

“
I missed you today.” Cutter tells me.

“
I missed you too.” I pull on his jacket and make him kiss me again. We kiss for a long while before Cutter pulls away from me.

“
Okay. We need to stop or I’m going to toss you in my truck and kidnap you.” He grabs my hand and we join the large crowd around the bonfire.

Parties at home always make me nervous and tonight isn’t any different. I’m worried about seeing Cooper for the first time since the hospital fiasco. I don’t know how much Cutter and Cooper have talked since Cutter punched him for making fun of me. Cutter has been incredibly quiet about the status of their relationship. I have asked Cutter several times if he has talked to his brother. He always replies that he hasn’t and that is the end of the conversation. I know Cooper will never be friendly to me, and that is okay. I just hope he can accept that Cutter and I are together now.

I’m actually having fun at the party. Thankfully, Cooper has kept his mouth shut and stayed at the other end of the party all evening. In fact, everyone seems to be rather accepting of Cutter and I being together, which is nice. Not a single person has said anything remotely mean to me. I’m guessing that is because they know Cutter will come unglued if they do.

“
Are you almost ready to go?” Cutter whispers in my ear as I listen to a group of girls chat about their boy problems. “I need to be alone with you.” His words send my body into a frenzy.

“
Yeah, I just need to go pee real quick.”

“
Okay, hurry up.”

I rush off toward the designated girls pee area back in the woods. The problem with partying outdoors at a river bar, there are no bathrooms. I clumsily make my journey through the woods until I feel I’m far enough away from the crowd so I won’t be seen. I start to undo my jeans when I hear someone behind me.

“
Well, well if it isn’t the Piggy Princess herself.”
Oh fuck my life, Cooper followed me out here!

“
What do you want Cooper?” I say as I start walking backwards trying to escape him.

“
I want lots of things, but mostly I want you to keep your fat ass away from my brother.”
Okay, maybe he didn’t get the memo that Cutter will kill him for talking to me like that.

I try to speed up my exit but it’s hard in the dark and I refuse to turn my back on him. “You know if you hurt me Cutter will kill you.” I say nervously.

Cooper lets out his signature hyena-type laugh throwing his head back like I just said the funniest thing ever.
You need to get out of here Paige! Think damn it.

“
You really think Cutter cares what happens to you?”

“
I know he does. He loves me.”
Gah, why would you tell him that. Keep your mouth shut and move your damn feet.

This makes him laugh even harder. “Cutter could never love you. He hates you just like I hate you.”

I stumble backward over a rock and find myself pinned back against a tree. Cooper’s eyes light up like a predator.
It’s time to fight Paige because your flight option is apparently gone.

“
Why do you hate me Cooper? What the hell did I ever do to you?”

Cooper stops. He looks as if I just backhanded him.
Oh shit not good.

“
You want to know what you did to me?”

“
Yes, I would love to know what I ever did to warrant this hatred. I have never done anything to you.” His eyes darken at my statement.

“
You killed my Dad, you bitch! That’s what you did to me and my brother! That’s why we hate you and always will!” He lets out another laugh and I see his eyes light up. “You know what? I bet Cutter is just doing all of this to mess with you because he hates you so much.”

I can’t breathe. I can’t fucking breathe. I don’t know what he is talking about. I didn’t kill Emerson Daniels, there was an accident on my family’s farm, but what did that have to do with me? I was just a kid.

“
Paige! Paige!” I hear Cutter coming through the woods. He is close. He must have gotten worried when I didn’t come back to the party.

“
This should be fun, huh?” Cooper sneers hearing his brother coming.

Cutter emerges through the darkness and his face shows his panic.

“
Cooper get away from her, NOW!” He growls

“
Oh no worries bro, I would never lay a hand on her. Paige and I were just getting better acquainted. We were having a friendly chat.”

“
Paige, are you okay?” Cutter asks me holding onto my arm.

I don’t respond. I can’t. My mind is spinning out. I’m sure I’m scaring Cutter but oh well. I just stand there like I’m catatonic.

“
What the hell did you say to her Cooper?”

“
Well Paige here wanted to know why we hate her so much. So I was just explaining to her why that is.”

I didn’t really see Cutter lunge at Cooper, it was too dark, but I heard it. I heard him take him to the ground and heard him punch him repeatedly. I heard the smashing and the grunts as the two brothers wrestled in the woods. I don’t try to interrupt them. I’m too busy willing my brain to catch up with the situation that is unfolding in front of me. I finally here Cooper scurry away, yelling profanities at Cutter the entire way.

I don’t move. I just stay trapped against the tree. I can’t move. I am trying to wrap my mind around everything Cooper has just told me. Suddenly I remember Jasper telling me there are things I don’t know and to be careful.

“
Paige? Baby, are you okay? Did he hurt you? Did he touch you?” Cutter comes to stand inches away from me. His eyes roam over me checking to see if I’m physically okay.

My eyes snapped into focus when Cutter lightly touches my arm. “What was he talking about Cutter?”

I push forward off the tree toward Cutter. I stalk forward closing the distance between us. I am inches from his face now and he refuses to look at me. He knows something and he is trying to avoid telling me.

“
What did he tell you?”

“
He said I killed your Dad. What the hell is he talking about?”

Cutter lets out a hard breathe. “I guess it’s time you knew.” He rakes his hands through his hair. “The day my Dad died you were down at the barn. You were five, maybe six years old. You were watching my dad off load the hay. Something went wrong and the bales tipped. You were right there. The bales would have crushed you. They would have killed you, but my Dad knocked you out of the way. He saved you. The bales fell on him instead, killing him instantly.”

“
What are you talking about?” I’m in shock. I have never heard this. Surely my parents would have told me. I don’t want to believe the things he his telling me.

“
I know it wasn’t your fault now, but when I was a kid it was hard not to hate you. I wished it had been you that died that day and not my Dad” His head is still hung low refusing to look me in the eye.

My legs give way underneath me and I fall to the ground. Cutter’s words are swirling around my brain but I can’t make sense of them.

My fall must trigger something in Cutter and now he is panicked. “Paige, please you need to breathe. It’s going to be okay baby.” He kneels down next to me.

His words jolt me into awareness. Cutter knew all of this all along. He hated me for years because he believed I killed his Dad and he wished I had died instead. Does he still think that? He must, because that level of hate is not something you can just let go of easily. And if he hates me, that means all of this was a lie, a horribly cruel lie.

“
Don’t! Don’t you dare tell me it’s going to be okay.” I surge of adrenaline hits me and I stand up. “You knew all of this, and you knew I didn’t have a clue, didn’t you? Did you sleep with me just to torment me some more? Was this just revenge? Does that make you feel better?”

Cutter looks shocked at my sudden burst of strength. “Paige…”

“
You knew I didn’t know, didn’t you?” I scream at him.

“
Yes.” He looks at the ground refusing to look at me.

“
Well it all makes perfect sense now. I should have known this was way too good to be true. You hate me. You have always hated me.” I turn and madly start running through the woods to my car. I know he is behind me but I have a significant head start on him. I reach my car and hop inside and tear off through the gravel.

The tears start streaming down my face making it hard to see. My Range Rover is flying down the gravel road, I know I should slow down but I don’t. Instead I press harder on the gas. I don’t slow down or look before I pull out onto the main road.

The second I see the semi-truck I know I have made a horrible mistake. My car launches through the air. I hear the glass breaking around me. I know I’m upside down and I feel the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. I taste blood and I see it running down my arms and legs. I know I’m going to die. I know the darkness is right there waiting to take me; all I have to do is close my eyes and accept it. I don’t want to die. I want to fight. I want to make it. I want to be tough. I don’t want to leave my parents; I know this will kill them. I say a silent prayer for forgiveness and close my eyes. The pain is just too great for me to withstand. I don’t have the strength to fight it anymore and I let the darkness take me.