Love in Neverland: Book 2 in The Neverland Trilogy (17 page)

“You know,” Magda said, and she did not know why she was talking.  Talking led to revealing secrets, especially talking that she was not in control of.  Talking she was not thinking about beforehand.  Her voice had gotten quiet.  The background music consisting of the rolling waves made the moment much more intimate.  Magda was uncomfortable, but that did not inhibit her words.  She kept going, and she could not stop herself.  “In the moonlight, right now, you actually look beautiful.  Like a man any woman would be lucky to fall in love with.”

Nick’s eyes flashed to her, questions in them.  He looked hesitant, but Magda was not sure what he was hesitating about.  Almost like he was worried that what she said was not really true, as though she were making a joke and did not mean what she said.

Then, she did something even more stupid than talking.

As though her body knew what it was doing, she rolled up to the balls of her feet – Nick was not tall when compared to James, but he was a good six inches taller than she was – and wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled him to down until his lips were on hers and they were kissing.

Chapter 17

Remy hated ships.  Hated them.  There was nothing to do and only so much to see.  Back on board the Jolly Roger left her with nothing to do except explore the ship once more and reread all of James’s books and talk to her mother’s voice in her head.  More than anything, she missed her mother and her father.  She understood now that stowing away on the ship was the dumbest thing she had ever done.  She should have stayed put.  Perhaps she would have fallen in love with Charlie.  Perhaps she could have talked to her parents about marrying someone she did not love.  Perhaps she could have the love she longed for and the security her parents demanded.  Instead, she acted rashly and stupidly.  She was a petulant child and ran away from home.  If Nick had not saved her…

She shook her head, lying in her cot, staring up at the ceiling.  It was the same light brown it had been the last time she stayed here.  Had that been only a week ago?  It had been felt like forever ago.

Even more so when she thought about her life on earth.

Would she ever return home?  Did she want to?

She cared about Nick greatly, along with his crew.  Giselle, Edward, Calum, and even Adele.  She learned more here than she had in her seventeen years of life back in Port George.  She had been a child then.  Now, she felt like a woman.  A woman ready to confront her demons.  To right her wrongs.  A woman who knew she could not run away any longer.

The first thing she knew she had to do was figure out her feelings for Nick.  If she ever saw him again –
when
she saw him again, she corrected – she would need to address it, because he did not deserve to risk his life for someone who did not love him back.

Because she did not love him.

Perhaps the books she read in her time with James were filling her head with unreachable expectations, but the feelings she felt for him were akin to those she felt for John and Michael Darling, her friend Wendy’s brothers.  She felt the same way for Charlie.  Perhaps she could fall in love with him, but it was not love yet, and she refused to force herself to feel a certain way just to appease someone else.  Even if that someone was Nick.  It was the sole reason why she had run away from home in the first place.

The books spoke of this heart fluttering feeling, where the heroine’s stomach was light and it felt as though she were literally walking on air.  Every accidental touch of skin, every smile smiled solely for him, the fluttering eyelashes, the rosy pink blush when she caught him looking her way for no other reason but to look at her.  The countless hours spent agonizing over what to wear, knowing she will see him at some point during the day.  Finding nothing suitable but getting those butterflies in her stomach all the same simply because the anticipation was building and the excitement was flourishing.

Remy wanted that.  She wanted that for herself.  And it was not with Nick or Charlie or John or Michael.  She was certain that person was out there, but she did not know him yet.

If you did not love Nick, why risk your life for him?
her mother’s voice asked her mind, fluttering through the air in her airy tone. 
Why surrender your freedom for his?  Why do that for someone you do not love?

Remy knew the answer to that question as well.  Duty.  Compassion.  She cared about Nick fiercely, but after all he had done for her, she knew she needed to repay him in kind, even if he did not ask it of her.  Even if he did not want her to do so.

He did not have to ask her.

Perhaps the girl she used to be, the one on that ship about to be killed, would not have realized what to do but the woman Remy was becoming, the woman Remy was now, did.  And that made all the difference.

If she had been this woman before she was transported here to The Neverland, there was a good chance she would not have run away.  She would have stayed with her parents and married Lord Stybolt Huntington because he was a decent man, a good man, who would most certainly care about her and secure her and her family’s future.

Looking back on it now, Remy realized she had been lucky.  Her parents’ selection of Lord Huntington was a good choice in a husband.  He cared about her, he had a good title, and more than all of that, he was a good man.  He was older, yes, but he was still handsome for his age.  He would have made a worthy husband when other girls her age were forced to marry widows or trolls. 

She and Lord Huntington would not share passion, but Remy realized a type of love could have blossomed between them, if only she gave it a chance.

However, she wanted passion.  She wanted fights and kissing and insanity.  She wanted it all.  And now that she was free without that obligation any longer, she would settle for nothing less than what she wanted and what she felt she deserved. 

Her mind flashed back to the moment James reprimanded her for attempting to fight that man who had attacked her.  She supposed it was rather silly of her, now that she had a moment of clarity.  There was no way she could stand a chance against him.  No way at all.  If Magda were here, she had no doubt she would be able to take care of herself.  She would not have needed James to step in and take care of it.  Magda would be able to take care of herself.

“That’s it, Remy,” she murmured to herself. 

She sprung up from her cot and threw her hair into a sloppy ponytail.  It was the first time she did not care what she looked like.  Once that was taken care of, she walked to Magda’s wardrobe and pulled out a tunic and pantaloons.  Magda had plenty of these clothes in her wardrobe, and as Remy slipped them on, she realized they fit like a dream.  It would appear the petite woman preferred loose clothes, and as such, they molded to Remy’s body perfectly.

When she was finished, Remy headed out the door and over to James’s quarters.  She had an innate sense of confidence about her, and her nerves were giddy at the prospect of what she was about to do.  Remy did not hesitate.  With her fingers coiled into fists, she all but stomped toward James’s room. 

And this from someone supposed to be a woman rather than a girl?
her mother’s voice pointed out, and she could hear the sneer in the tone clear as day.

Remy clenched her jaw and stopped.  She was certain James’s crew looked at her rather oddly, but nobody came up and questioned her.  Now that she understood her importance, it was not likely anyone would think to upset her.  Not when she had so much sway with James.  Instead, she dug her nails into her skin as a way to remind herself that she was a woman, a grown adult, and if she wanted to be taken seriously as such, she needed to demand things in a way that came across mature.  She needed to make sure James would actually listen.

She cleared her throat, cleared her mind, and then proceeded to walk across the deck of the ship to James’s cabin.  Her fingers itched to throw open the door, but she bit the inside of her bottom lip in order to refrain.  It was quite hard to control herself; she had no idea how her mother did it.

She felt a growing pool of respect creep up over her heart, and the pain of her mother’s absence increased tenfold.

You can’t think about that right now
, Remy muttered to herself internally. 
It is essential you focus on the task at hand.

Remy stepped to the elaborately carved door that belonged to James Hook.  The carvings were thorough and brusque, very masculine.  She did not know much about Vikings, but she was almost positive the markings were part of his heritage.  If the situation were not as pressing as it was, she would have stayed and studied them, perhaps asked him if they meant anything to him in particular.  She wondered if he did them himself – before the loss of his hand, or maybe after.  If so, he was very talented.

She shook her head. 
Stop getting distracted
, she chided herself. 
Get it together, and knock
.

So she did.  Hard enough where James would hear her, and apparently where her knuckles would hurt.  She winced and shook them out as each digit tingled.

“Enter.”

Remy had to roll her eyes at his command.  Yes, he was a captain of the ship, and yes, he was ruler of The Other World, but did he really need to reek of arrogance?  She opened the door, stepping into his quarters for the first time since she came aboard the Jolly Roger the first time.  It was odd, how she had yet to visit this room before now.

Actually, ma chère, I’m quite pleased you have not entered this place until now
, her mother’s voice said. 
You are a lady, after all, and do not have an escort.  And James Hook is far too handsome to have pure intentions.

James was standing over his desk, looking down at various maps.  He was planning something, but Remy did not have the slightest idea what that was and found she did not particularly care.  He did not even look up at her when she walked through the doors.

“After everything that has happened, I would appreciate it if you could take the time to show me how to properly defend myself,” she said with a bright smile.

Now James did look up, and when he saw Remy, he did a double take.  “What are you wearing?” he asked.

Remy looked down at her outfit.  “You don’t like it?” she asked, somewhat surprised.  “Actually, to be honest, I had no idea just how comfortable these clothes truly were, and if I got them in the appropriate size, they really aren’t that bad.”  She continued to smile, even under James’s scrutiny.  “You did not answer my question.”

“I’m sorry, what is it you want?” James asked.  “How did this come about?”

“That man.”  Remy paused, looked away.  It was over and done with.  The man was gone, and there was a good chance he would think twice before attempting to come anywhere near Remy again.  “I want to be able to take care of myself just in case something happens and I don’t have anyone else to defend me.”

"Did Nick not teach you how to defend yourself?" James asked, raising an inquisitive brow.

Remy narrowed her eyes at it, annoyed at the fact that something as minuscule as arching an eyebrow made him look as handsome as ever. He did not need to worry about wrinkles on his face, it would seem.

"Yes," Remy said with a nod of her head. "But we went over the very basics of self-defense. I want to be able to react without thinking. I want to rely solely on myself and nobody else." She clenched her teeth together. "Do you not think me capable? Because I am."

"I believe you," he said, and he meant it. She could tell. The chip she had been carrying on her shoulder fell off and she found she could breathe again. "Where is this passion coming from? Our discussion from before?"

"I" -

"Because if you are trying to prove something to someone, I will not indulge that," he continued before she could speak. "If you are trying to prove something to yourself, you should not waste your time with unnecessary insecurities. You are more than your pretty face. You are capable. You are strong. You are incredibly important, and what's frustrating is that you don't see it. You see your value in the way others view you, and that is unacceptable. It's reckless, and those feelings might very well get you killed, depending on how you react to them. If you would like me to teach you what I know, I will. I taught Magdalena and I can teach you. But I will not indulge a child who wants to play with the big children. I will not let you start fights, especially ones you cannot finish. Do you understand me?"

Remy felt her entire face burn with shame. She knew she could not speak so she forced herself to nod her head.

"You are precious," he continued, his voice softening. "Rare. What infuriates me is that you take your life for granted. You are valuable down here to the point of danger. You still have a heartbeat. You still have breath inside of you. Do you know how many souls would kill to be in your position? Do you know what I would do to take one more breath?"

And then his mouth was on hers, and he was kissing her. His right hand gripped her face while his left snaked its way around her waist, ensuring his hook did not harm her in any way. And it felt good and right and it caused little explosions to go off in every nerve of her body. Her eyes closed and her head tilted back, allowing him full access to claim her lips. His hand dropped to her neck and he clutched it gently but firmly. Like he wanted to possess her but not harm her. For whatever reason, the thought gave Remy a thrill and she opened her mouth, as though she knew what she was doing, as though she had done this before.