Love in the Time of Zombies (4 page)

All is wrong with a world where the dead don’t rest.

All is right with a world with a graceful woman beheld.

It is wrong to blame God for men’s mistakes.

It is right to ask God to right men’s errors.

— Seth Ripley

By the time dusk fell, fires sprang up in trashcans evenly spaced the length of the mall. Small puddles of glowing red and yellow highlighted the overwhelming darkness of no light pollution. More than two hundred people gathered to remember Nick Cruz. Commander Canida stood in front of the theater with Beth and her father, Jim Evans. They were the closest thing to family that Nick had. He’d lost everyone to the virus and the flu before.

Silence filled the area except for a few crying babies. The crowd stood with bowed heads as Canida told all of Nick’s sacrifice. Beth’s sobs rolled over the group.

I bowed my head but I refused to pray to a God I no longer believed in. The God of my childhood didn’t bring us zombies and he didn’t seem to be rescuing us from them either. The commander’s words were just mumbles in my head as my own memories of Nick played across my mind. The tales of playing football in this small town, of his family and friends before the world went to hell. His telling of the legends of a local bandit and hidden caves. I smiled at the remembrance of my friend’s stories of playing Joaquin Murietta and of a little brother being the law officer to catch the bad guy, trapped in his cave hideout. His stories brought this middle of nowhere town to life for me.

A warm hand settled on my shoulder. I jumped and opened my eyes. Seth stood beside me, his arm across my shoulders. Snuggling in closer, I caught Canida’s last words, as he raised a cup.

“Live life to the fullest. We all only have today. Raise your glass for all those lost at the Safeway Center. Raise it for Nick.”

“For Nick,” murmured from hundreds of throats. “For today.”

The crowd broke up and several women went to Beth with soft, whispered words. The young girl stood taller and her tears dried up. The girl became a woman before my eyes. A woman who’d lost her man. Childhood washed away in an instant. The pain of it ripped across me. I moved away from Seth and stood in line to try to say something that didn’t sound trite and overused. I’m sorry seemed meaningless as it always has. Just words, but I used them anyway.

“Beth, I’m so sorry. Nick was my friend. If you need anything. Anything at all.”

Her smile broke my heart. As if the earlier yelling had purged her anger. “Emily, Nick talked about you all the time. You were his friend too. I’m so sorry. I know you had Nick’s back just like he had yours.”

She rubbed her stomach. “I’ve told my father, so it’s okay to tell you. I’m having Nick’s baby.”

My mouth dropped open. Her smile fell at seeing what I’m sure was disbelief and condemnation on my face. “That’s wonderful news, Beth. I’m so happy for you.” The lies died on my tongue. The words refused to continue.

“Thank you, Emily,” Beth’s voice lost its happy tone.

I moved on, at a loss for words. Beth was sixteen and alone. Well, not totally, she had her father and the community here. A baby who would be a remembrance of Nick. A helpless baby, in the middle of hell on Earth.

Music started up in the center of the green, grassy swath in the middle of the mall. A guitar and banjo softly played Nick’s favorite song; the one about a boy and a girl and young love. Beth took her father’s hand and they slowly swayed to the soft melody. He bowed his head over her and she pulled herself tight into his chest.

Seth held out a hand. I grabbed it and pulled him to the impromptu dance floor of plywood sheets. The music struck a chord deep inside. I’d never had a young love. The commander’s words echoed in my head. We only had today, tomorrow might never come. We had no guarantees, not anymore; if we’d imagined we had them before, it had all been a lie. It’d taken the zombie apocalypse to make me see that the future was an ethereal dream of impossibility.

Dance after dance flew by. Seth’s arms held me gently as a slow song started. I looked up into eyes shining in the moonlight and with something else—passion. His fingers caressed my back as we moved around the other couples, tingle running up and down my spine. The area was packed with people, the only ones missing were the guards on the rooftops, and someone would spell them later so they could enjoy some food and company.

Overwhelmed with the mass of people, I pulled away and fell into a chair. My ears were humming with the buzz of the crowd. I was divided. One part of me loved the festivity, the celebration of Nick’s life. But the other part wanted to find a corner to hide in and cry. To mourn the loss of a young boy forced to be a man too soon, to die too soon.

The music’s tempo changed to a fast-paced country song. I looked up and spotted Seth line-dancing with Michelle. Even with the lack of a future to worry about, I don’t make split-second decisions. So why did I know right then where I wanted the evening to end. With my body wrapped around Seth’s in hot, passionate, sweaty, sex. My heart raced a million miles a second. If I could organize a gala event for hundreds at a moment’s notice, surely I could find some privacy for Seth and me for one evening.

My body sparked with electricity at the thought of Seth, privacy, and more. His eyes had said he would accept my invitation. Jumping up, I marched over to Mrs. Roberts.

“Bobbie, I need a tent for tonight. Please tell me they aren’t all parceled out.” I crossed my fingers behind my back.

“Sweetie,” she said as she touched my arm. “For you, I’ll find one.” Her glance shot to Seth. “If anyone deserves tall, dark, and handsome over there, it’s you.”

My face heated up and I thanked the darkness for hiding it. Mrs. Roberts had known me in our former lives. She’d been a shoulder to cry on many of times.

She pulled a notebook out of her pocket. “Looks like I’ve got a few left. I’ll have a couple of boys set one up in your spot.”

“Thank you so much.” I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed tight. I didn’t have my mother anymore, but Mrs. Roberts was an excellent grandmother-surrogate.

Thirty minutes later, the older woman pushed through the crowd to my side. She reached out and squeezed my arm. “All taken care of. You have a good evening.” She glanced over across the picnic table to Seth. “Hmmm, a very good evening.”

Like a whirlwind, she and Michelle faded into the shrinking crowd. A few dancers still slow-danced in the middle of the Green, but couples and families headed toward bed. My breath caught. Where I wanted to be with Seth.
How do you ask a man to come to your room, even if it is just a tent? Carl had been the cheater, going from affair to affair. I’d never even looked at another man, even once I knew about the infidelity.

I took a deep breath. “Seth, I know we’ve just met. But, I don’t want you to leave yet.” I stuttered to a stop. I sounded as if I was sixteen, instead of almost thirty.

He blushed. Did adult men do that? He looked deep into my eyes and I fell... hard.

“Emily, I would love to stay.” His deep voice sent a thrill down my spine and heat to places that hadn’t had any heat in a while. A long while.

Seth stood up, grasped my hand, and pulled me tight against his warm body. His lips brushed over mine and a fire roared in my blood. I closed my eyes and breathed in his male scent mixed with rich homemade beer. His skin was warm and musky from dancing.

A whisker-stubble cheek slid along my face, as he whispered into my ear. “Lead the way.”

He pulled back slightly and I pointed out the southwest corner of the compound and the breakaway stairs in the center of the building section. “Up there, with the clotheslines.”

His arm went around my shoulders as we walked toward the stairs. “Last time I was here, it was all rope ladders and crate pulleys,” he whispered.

“We have a lot of kids now. Lots of little ones. Canida ordered steps built. They just push away from the building and fall over if we got overrun.”

The steps swayed slightly as we walked to the rooftop. I pulled Seth over to the corner where a tent occupied the usual place of my cot and a tarp I’d fashioned into a lean-to with the help of the pole for the clothesline. Bending down, I moved inside and gasped. My cot was pushed against a canvas wall, with my stuff piled on top. In the middle of the tent was a mattress.

If my face heated any hotter, I would implode. The boys who set up the tent had to have known why I wanted a mattress. Seth bumped into me as he came through the doorway. As I fell I grabbed a hold of him and we both landed on the soft surface. I moaned. I’d forgotten how soft a real bed could be.

“Let me zip up the door,” he whispered with a quick kiss on my lips, tasting hot and sweet. Too quick. I wanted more. I fed on his lips. His kisses grew blistering. Heat pooled between my thighs. I wanted him now.

Seth moved away and the sound of the zipper on the tent filled the space. The silence filled me with doubts.
What was I doing? My friend died today. This was wrong.

Looking up, I saw the same doubts in Seth’s eyes. I bit my lip and started to talk. “I’m—“

He sat beside me on the mattress, his arm going around my shoulders. “We don’t have to do this. I’m not an animal in need of sex.”

I giggled. I couldn’t help it. His warm body and eyes full of life and kindness was the furthest thing from the renegades we’d heard about. The rumors of men roaming the wasteland, taking what and who they wanted swirled through the camp weekly.

“I read somewhere that the most sex happens after a funeral. Most people think it is after a wedding, but weddings just usually scare guys off. Worried about the ball and chain thing. But funerals remind everyone that they are still alive.”

His hands cupped my face. “I can believe that. We honor those we’ve lost by continuing on, by living life to the fullest.”

His lips touched mine. His breath caressed my face. “Nick is only gone for a while. He has friends to remember him and Beth’s baby to carry on his life.”

A pang ripped though me at the thought of Nick and Beth’s baby. I tossed the regret aside in a second. At least I didn’t have to worry about birth control on top of everything else in our torn-apart world.

I wrapped my arms around Seth. “Let’s celebrate life.”

He fell back to the bed, taking me with him. The few clothes between us were too much. My hands grasped for his shirt and mine. I tossed them aside and ran my fingers over his warm chest. He pulled me close and I reveled in the feel of skin-to-skin contact.

Seth removed my bra and caressed my breasts. Tremors shot through my body. I flung my head back, letting his hands run wild. His fingers skimmed over my nipples. Something between a gasp and a sigh escaped my lips until his mouth found the sensitive peaks. Then, I bit my tongue to hold back the scream of pleasure.

Our fingers fumbled together on our belt buckles. We continued kissing as we each ripped off our pants, only stopping to remove boots and denim.

I rushed back into his arms. He took off my panties and his own underwear. I glanced down with half-closed lids. Seth Ripley was all male. From his taut muscles, to his erection springing from his curly-haired groin, he was hard and tight. Pale flesh pulsated against inky black.

My fingers grasped the firm flesh and I delighted to his gasp of pleasure. Arms wrapped around each other, we again fell to the bed. He kissed me, whispering my name as he found my hot center. My back arched off the mattress as he entered me, every nerve ending firing off pulses of heat, movement, and slick wetness.

Never like this.

Never such heat.

Never such passion.

Never.

Never.

Never.

We moved together as if we’d been making love for years. His mouth found the sensitive spot where neck meets shoulder. I moaned deep. His mouth moved to mine to capture my groans of passion. Electric pulses traveled my skin wherever he touched. His lips. His tongue. His fingers.

I wrapped my legs around him and urged him on; faster and faster. My whispers repeated the command. I dug my fingertips into his shoulders as the rhythm slowed down and sped up, in a tempo guaranteed to make me scream at the apex. In the last seconds, he slowed down and moved deeper, as if that were possible. Closing my eyes, I saw lights dancing behind my lids. The explosion came and took me over the edge. Seth’s moans mixed with mine.

“Damn.”

My heart stuttered to a stop. Was he regretting our impetuous act? Was he regretting the best sex I’d had in my life?

He rolled off me and covered his eyes with his arm. “I can’t believe I was so thoughtless. I didn’t even stop for protection.”

I propped myself up with an elbow and looked over at him. “Don’t, Seth.” I pried his arm away from his eyes. I wanted to see his face. I wanted him to see mine.

“I would have said something if it mattered. And you seem like an upstanding guy. I’m sure you would have said something if we had anything to worry about.”

He sat up, pulling me with him. “I didn’t think about that for a moment. But there are other considerations. Unless you want a baby in the middle of this mess we’re living in.”