Love in the Time of Zombies (32 page)

Joseff
rolled his eyes.  “This is
not
my best road trip ever, for those of you
keeping score.”  He reported from his seat.  There were only three chairs in
the cab, so Zeke, Caleb, and Brewer were sort squeezed in between them.  God
knew, king of the assholes wasn’t going to stand.

“What
is
your best trip then, beloved mate?”  Darcy challenged in a deadly
honeyed voice.  “For your own health and safety, it had better not include
another woman.”

Joseff’s
mouth curved.  “I stand corrected.  As I’ve
never
been on another road
trip, this one has taken the top spot by default.  …And it will obviously
retain
the title for decades to come, because I’m sharing this fun-filled and not at
all annoying journey with my beautiful queen.”

“Aw,
you always know just what to say, sweetie.”  Darcy praised.  “When prompted.”

“It’s
still the truth.”  Joseff assured her.

Several
zombies managed to scramble their way onto the running boards.  They looked
like they might have been fast food workers, their uniforms splattered with
blood and grease.  Leaning forward, they tried to break through the windshield,
their fists banging against the glass.  Darcy swerved the wheel, knocking them
loose and sending them careening onto street.  The truck roared over them,
never slowing down.

“Which
way do I turn up here?”  Darcy asked casually.  “I can’t tell through the smoke
and zombies.”

“Left.” 
Zeke and Scotlyn chorused.

They
both could’ve found TGW blindfolded.  Zeke realized that he was actually glad
for an opportunity to see the golf course again.  That tacky, irritating,
rundown business would always have a huge place in his heart.  It had brought
him to Scotlyn.  A part of him regretted that he’d never again go into the
office and see her frowning at him from behind her desk.

Of
course, a much
bigger
part of him was happy that now Scotlyn was smiling
at him and sleeping with him and prepared to marry him.

“I’m
going to miss Topless Golf a little bit.”  Scotlyn murmured and he knew she was
thinking along the same lines.  It didn’t surprise him.  For all their differences,
he and Scottie were surprisingly in sync about the important stuff.

Zeke
sent her a teasing grin.  “Even Mount St. Hot, Hot, Hot?”

“No,
not that horrible monstrosity, which you were too cheap to fix and which made
an endless racket.”  She gave him a smile.  “But, I have
mostly
good
memories of working there.”

He
caught hold of her palm and raised it to her lips.  “All of my memories are
good ones.”  He paused.  “Well, except for the part where I lived in a constant
state of fear that you’d quit and I’d be left desolate and alone.”

“And
the part where you worked at an
X-rated miniature golf course
.”  Joseff
intoned.

Caleb
nodded.  “I’m with Bram Stoker, for once.  X-rated miniature golf, Z.  Take a
step back and think about that.”

“
I
wanted to theme it to fairytales, again.”  Scotlyn said virtuously.  “Zeke was
the one who kept all the naked statuary.”

“We
were in the black.”  Zeke insisted.  “Why mess with a concept that worked?”

Brewer
made a face.  “I just can’t believe that no one told me Zeke owned a place
where topless chicks played golf.  Why am I always the last to know the
real
news?”

Scotlyn
scowled at him.  “That’s not the kind of topless that Topless Golf…”

“Shit!” 
Darcy slammed on the brakes, narrowly avoiding a sixteen wheeler turned on its
side.  Zeke caught himself on the dashboard, while Cale and Brewer were tossed
into the wall.  He had no idea what the truck was doing there, but it was
blocking the entire intersection like a barricade.

As
soon as the fire engine skidded to a halt, the zombies were on them.  They came
in waves of jerking, grasping, scrambling death.  Dead eyes stared at them
through the windows.  Fingernails scratched at the metal, trying to claw their
way inside.  Gore encrusted teeth gnawed at the door handles.

“Super.” 
Caleb pulled himself to his feet and reached over to engage the lock.  “What
was I saying about how much this idea sucked?”

“Oh
shut-up.”  Zeke turned to Darcy.  “Get us around this.  We can backtrack and go
towards the freeway.  Come at it from the other side.”  That was the route he
and Scotlyn had taken the first night of the zombie invasion.

“That’s
where the fire is.”  Scotlyn reminded him.  “We can’t go that way.”

“Well,
we’re not going back.  Not now.  We’re only one street away, Trix!”

“Ladder.” 
Caleb said calmly.

Zeke
whirled around to face him.  “What?”

“We’re
in a fire truck.  It has to have a ladder.  We use it to get up on that roof.” 
He pointed to the blacked rear shell of a tattoo parlor.  “The golf course
should be just on the other side, right?”

Scotlyn’s
eyes widened like she was too flabbergasted by the idea of going outside to
even vocalize her horror.  Hopefully, it stayed that way for another couple
minutes because she was going to throw a fit about this plan and she usually
won their arguments.

“Getting
to a roof doesn’t get you to the map.”  Joseff reminded them.

“No,
but I can figure it out from there.”  Zeke grabbed the manual from him and
began searching for some kind of ladder instructions, only to hesitate when he
came across something even more interesting.  “Hey, what are the odds that
there’s still water in this thing?”

“Given
the way it corners?”  Darcy snorted.  “A hundred percent.  Why?”

Zeke
shrugged.  “Well, the bad news is, this kind truck doesn’t have a ladder.”

Caleb
rolled his eyes.  “What kind of firemen don’t have
ladders?
”

“Apparently
the kind that get hydraulic water cannons on their trucks instead.”

Bright side
to the zombie apocalypse:

You don’t
need to pay that gym membership to stay in shape

Zombies
didn’t like getting wet.

That
was the kind of firsthand observation you could only pick up in the trenches of
the zompocalypse.  Three thousand gallons of water and some kind of foaming
fire retardant sprayed out of the high-powered, roof mounted nozzle.  It
blasted the zombies away from the truck like tin cans caught in a tornado. 
Most of the remaining creatures scurried backwards, shifting from foot-to-foot
and eyeing the truck in undead alarm.

“Joseff,
I
soooo
want one of these for Christmas.”  Darcy called happily.

“Of
course.”  Joseff agreed like he was already planning how to fit it under the
tree.

Zeke
ignored them and smiled at Scotlyn.  “See?  I told you the water cannon would distract
the zombies.”  He popped the roof hatch and climbed up.  “I’ll be back in a
second.”

“Don’t
you
dare
go out there!”  She shrieked.  “Jesus, this is the worst idea
you’ve ever had!”  She rounded on Caleb.  “
Do
something!”

“Goddamn
it.”  Caleb sighed, following his brother.  “I could be touring in the Grand
Canyon right now.”

Scotlyn
had no idea what that meant and she didn’t care.  “Brewer, watch Pucci.”  She
ordered and clambered after them.

Zombies
were scaling the sides of the fire engine, their fingers grasping at her ankles
as she dashed along the roof.  Even with hose going full blast, it wasn’t going
to hold them back for long.  She watched as Zeke and Cale took running jumps
off the end of the truck and grabbed hold of a rickety looking air conditioner
poking out of a window.  From there, they boosted themselves up onto the
building, high above the fray.  No human could’ve done it, but they weren’t
human.

Neither
was she.

Scotlyn
raced forward and leapt after them, forcing herself not to hesitate.

…And
completely missed her target.

“
Shit!
” 
She obviously needed to work on her superpowers, because she misjudged the distance. 
Scotlyn slammed into the side of the building and plummeted straight towards
the writhing zombies.  Her hand reached up, trying desperately to grab onto
something
…

A
strong palm locked around her wrist like a manacle.

She
looked up, her feet dangling above the outstretched arms of the zombies.  Zeke
was leaning waaaaay over the side of the roof, holding onto her like she was
his lifeline.  He must have thrown himself forward to catch her.  Of course he
did.  The man was a crazy, heroic lunatic.  If she fell, he was going with
her.  There wasn’t a doubt in her mind.

Purple
eyes burned into hers.  “Whatcha doing, Trix?”  He asked calmly.

Scotlyn
let out a long breath.  “Helping you?”  It came out like a question.

Zeke
arched a brow.  “Thanks.”  He lowered his free hand so she could grab it and
pulled her up beside him.  “Couldn’t have done it without you.”

Since
he’d just saved her life and all, Scotlyn decided to forego punching him. 
Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and held tight.  “Nice catch.” 
She whispered.

He
kissed the side of her head.  “You can’t get away from me that easy, baby.”  He
herded her towards Caleb.  “If you’re going to be here, stay behind me,
alright?”

“You’re
always saying that.”  Scotlyn hurried after him.  “And anyway, I
can
help.  First, to keep an eye on you and also because you have no idea what a
Louis Vuitton handbag even looks like.”

“Sure
I do.  Your purse is brownish with --like--letters on it.”

Caleb
overheard that description and made a “God help me” sort of sound.  “It’s
hopeless, Scotlyn.  The man wears socks with sandals.”

“Only
when my feet get cold.”

The
three of them headed over to the opposite side of the roof and looked down at
the street below for a long moment.  Topless Golf World was directly in front
of them, but it was swarming with zombies.  They lurched around the parking lot
and chewed the statues on the miniature golf course.  It looked like a few of
them had even gotten inside.  She could see movement inside the main office.

“God,
I
really
don’t like zombies.”  Scotlyn muttered.  It was horrible to see
TGW infested with monsters.

Zeke
reached over to give her hand a squeeze.

“Where’d
you drop the purse?”  Caleb asked, trying to see it through the hoard of undead
bodies.

Scotlyn
pointed towards her Vespa, which was still parked near the front door.  It
seemed like a million years ago that she’d driven it to work.  “Over there. 
Zeke’s SUV was only a couple spots over from me.”

“Right.” 
He looked at Zeke.  “So now what?”

“Now,
I go down there and get that damn map.”  He was quiet for a beat.  “We just need
a distraction first.  Something that will draw some of the zombies away from
the parking lot, so I’m not bogged down.”

“Jesus,
what’s taking so long?”  Joseff demanded, coming up behind them.  “We’re going
to run out of water down there.”

Caleb
flashed him a glower.  “Did you come up here to nag us?”

“I’m
being
supportive
, dickhead.”  Joseff retorted.  “You told me I was a part
of this team, didn’t you?  It’s obvious you’re stymied and, in times of crisis,
team members pitch-in and bond… or whatever.”  He waved a dismissive palm. 
“Besides, Darcy says I have to lend a hand.  So, what have you bungled this
time and how can I fix it?”

“Fuck
off.”  Zeke and Caleb chorused.

“We
can’t get to the map until we get rid of some of the zombies.”  Scotlyn
explained, trying to avoid a rooftop feud between her in-laws.  “We need a
distraction.”

“That’s
easy.  The fire engine has a siren.”  Joseff shrugged.  “God knows, Darcy’s
been dying to try it.  That should work to get their attention.”

“Do
it.”  Zeke ordered.  “If you can thin the herd a little, I can do the rest.”

“See? 
Teamwork is so much simpler when I’m here to lead you.”  Joseff checked his
watch like he wanted to be sure they weren’t falling behind schedule, and
headed back towards the truck.  “Just hurry it up, boys.”  He called.  “The
city
is
still on fire.”

Caleb
made a face.  “Is it too late to
un
invited him to the team?”

Still,
Joseff did his part.  A moment later, the fire siren sounded in a circular
whhrrrr
of sound punctuated by
eeee-awwww-eeee-awwwws
at regular intervals.  Zeke
grinned as the zombies started shuffling towards the noise.  Sound drew them.  Like
a school of salmon, they moved away from TGW in mindless unison.  “Bingo.”  He
stood up.  “Wait here, baby.”

Scotlyn
quickly got to her feet, hating this plan.  “
I’m
the one who lost the
purse. 
I
can go down there and get it.  Since it actually belongs to
me, it makes a lot more sense than…”