Love Inspired January 2014 - Bundle 2 of 2: Bayou Sweetheart\The Firefighter's New Family\Season of Redemption (27 page)

“How's life?”

Devon wondered what that meant. He eyed Clint a moment before commenting. “What's on your mind?”

Clint's grin couldn't be hidden. He shrugged. “Wondering about your patient, I suppose.”

“She's home and struggling.” He told her about Joey and the crutches, and then thought of the situation with Kaylee. “I had a little surprise from Kaylee—nothing I would have anticipated—but she's jealous of Joey, I think.”

“In what way? He's just a toddler, isn't he?” His brow furrowed.

“It's not so much the boy as it is my attention to him.” He ran his fingers through his hair, still feeling dampness from his shower. “I wasn't expecting her to act that way.”

Clint rubbed his jaw. “Kids are possessive when it comes to things and people that belong to them.” His gaze captured Devon's. “You are an important one to her. Her dad. And you don't have a lifetime with her. You have days when she's worked into your schedule.”

Devon's chest tightened, startled by Clint's comment. Days she was worked into his schedule. It sounded so crude.

Clint grasped his shoulder. “Hey, friend, I'm not criticizing. Not at all. You have no choice. It's your job, but she's with her mother more than with you, and once she's in school... Well, think about it. Scheduling visitations will get more complex.”

He blew out a stream of air. “I've thought about that, and I don't have an answer. I wish I did.” And he also wished he knew if she actually spent time with Gina. Or was Renee her main caregiver?

“What you need is—” Clint gripped his shoulder tighter and gave it a pat “—a wife. That's what you need. Problem solved.”

“Whoa. I'm not looking for a wife to solve my problems.” He rubbed the tension in his neck. “I know you're joking, but... You are joking, aren't you?” He did a double take and then grinned, seeing Clint's expression.

Clint grinned back. “Yes, and no. If you fell in love and married, that's what I mean.”

Devon studied him a moment, wondering how to tell him some of his deepest worries. The guy really listened, and he usually offered good advice. But opening his heart. He couldn't. “I'm not ready for that.”

“You've been alone for more than three years. Do you still have feelings for Gina?” Clint's expression grew serious. “I didn't think—”

“She's Kaylee's mother. I care about her for that reason. My love died when she turned her back on our marriage. One person can't keep a fire lit when the other one is pouring water on it.”

Clint nodded. “That's what I thought.”

The comment hung in the air, and Devon became tired of waiting. “What do you mean?”

“What's the problem? Do you think Kaylee couldn't handle a woman in your life, or are you afraid of marriage now?”

“I don't know how Kaylee would react. If her attitude with Joey is any sign, she could be resentful. But no, it's not her. It's me.” Whether he wanted to open up or not, Clint was dragging his feelings out of him. “I failed a marriage. How do I know I won't do it again? I believe when we stand before God and vow to love someone forever that's what we do, but...” No words came to him.

“I think we all feel that way, Devon.”

His head jerked upward. “Are you serious?”

“I sure am. Do you think that I don't question whether I can be a good husband. I have no idea how I failed my fiancée. I've racked my brains with a cootie comb and nothing comes other than my work. That's what she blamed the breakup on.” He shrugged. “I can't see that as failing. She knew that when we became engaged.”

Hearing Clint's honest confession helped alleviate some of Devon's fear. Maybe everyone asked these question when they failed. Can I do this again? Can I be successful? He asked himself these questions when they battled a fire. Can we succeed? Can we save people's lives? The answer was more often yes than no. Why not apply that concept to his life? “You've made me think, pal.”

“Good.” Clint chuckled and leaned back against the chair, taking a long swig of his cola. “I made myself think, too.” He set down the can. “It all comes down to hope.”

“Hope?”

“That's what the Bible teaches. We know the Lord is on our side. We look to Him for guidance and then we hope we heard Him right. That's all we can do.”

“That and pray.”

“Sure enough, pal. Prayer is the source.” He slapped his leg and rose, grabbing the cola. “And I better let you finish that report, or you won't be able to leave on time.” He gave Devon's shoulder a squeeze and ambled away.

Devon sat a moment, staring at the report in front of him, but his mind was on the conversation. Sometimes he let important tasks slip while he took care of less important things like laundry and grocery shopping. He could do those with his eyes closed, so why not be that close to prayer that it became second nature?

Somewhere along the line he'd let his faith take a backseat to everyday life. Faith had to be part of life, not an addendum. He could only guess prayer was a premier event in Ashley's life or how else did she get through the sorrow of losing a husband and raising a tiny son on her own? That took courage and strength. Those were things the Lord could give through prayer. All he had to do was ask. He needed to teach Kaylee about prayer, too...and about Jesus. He wondered if her mother still attended church.

Or Renee. Gina's sister had come into the conversation with Kaylee and that was another bug in his brain he couldn't let go. How much time did Kaylee spend with her aunt rather than her mother? He needed to know the truth.

Chapter Six

“D
addy.” Ashley shifted back from the
doorway as her father strode in, a smile on his face.

He gave her a hug and before he could take a step, he was
nearly bowled over by Joey.

“Papa.” He extended his arms, and her dad scooped him up for a
bear hug.

“How's my favorite grandson?”

Ashley always got a kick out of the question since Joey was his
only grandson. “Have a seat, Dad.”

Joey squirmed to get down, and when her father lowered him to
the floor, he grabbed his hand and tugged. “Come, Papa. Play.”

“Joey, let Papa sit for a minute.” Ashley motioned to a chair
and then made her way to the recliner where she lifted the footrest and leaned
back.

He noticed Joey's disappointed look. “I'll play later. Let me
talk to your mama a minute.”

With his hopes not totally dampened, Joey squatted beside his
toys and returned to his miniature cars.

“I'm glad you came, Dad. I miss seeing you.” She gestured
toward the cast propped on the footrest. “This is maddening.”

Her dad grinned. “Patience. You'll be back to your old self
soon.”

“That's exactly how I feel. An old self.”

Her father chuckled. “I don't do badly for an old geezer.” He
studied her a moment. “All silliness aside, can I do something for you while I'm
here? Anything.”

She thought of the laundry piling up, dust bunnies under the
furniture, but she'd never ask her dad. She should be doing for him not the
reverse. “I'm fine. Neely helps a lot, and Devon gave me his phone number in
case I needed help.”

“The firefighter.” He looked gleeful.

“That's him.”

“So he's still dropping by?”

“He comes by occasionally.” It seemed odd he'd just stop
visiting. A chill sizzled down her arms. Her first thought was always he'd been
injured in a fire or during a rescue. Hearing herself, she forced the thought
away, afraid that kind of concern would always be with her.

He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Tell me about him. He
has a job. That's good. What about—”

“What about nothing. I have nothing to tell. Devon is a good
neighbor, a caring man who's kind to old ladies and their dogs, rescues cats
from trees and brought over dinner a few days ago for Joey and me.” Heat rose on
her cheeks. “Spaghetti, before you ask.”

“Then I don't need to worry about your starving.” He leaned
back as his grin faded. “Ash, I know losing Adam was horrendous. There're no
words to explain it, but it's time you open yourself to the future. Joey needs a
daddy and—”

“Dad.” The heat grew. “Don't play matchmaker. I'm old enough to
know when I'm ready to—”

“Don't let the bad situation you had with your last boyfriend
darken your spirit. It's not easy to move ahead. But you're too young to be
alone.”

Tension knotted her spine. “I'm not alone. I have Joey,
and—”

“It's not the same, and you know it. I'm not telling you what
to do, but I want you to be open.”

“I am open.”

“Look how long it took me to venture out. Everyone bugged me
about getting a life. Finally I gave in and went to the seniors center. Look
what's happened. I have friends and interests. I just came from there before I
showed up here. I had lunch and then I played Parcheesi.”

She noticed the sly look on his face. “You won, didn't
you?”

“I did. Alice was right on my tail, but she broke her blockade
and I slipped past her.”

“Alice. That's your lady friend, the one who invites you to
church.”

He grinned. “She's the one. A lovely Christian woman, and
that's what you need, Ashley. A good Christian man to be a daddy to my favorite
grandson.”

Joey heard him and blotted to his side. “Favorite.” He patted
his chest.

“You are.” He gave Joey a kiss on the cheek.

“Come.” Joey beckoned to him. “Play, Papa.”

Her father gave a shrug. “I guess I'd better. I promised.” He
rose and settled beside Joey on the floor.

Ashley took a deep breath, grateful Joey had ended the
conversation. How could she explain the fears she experienced and the guilt she
felt? He wouldn't understand. She leaned against the cushion and rolled her
shoulders, hoping to relieve the tension. Her dad had no idea how the same
thoughts filled her mind as she sat there, weighted down with the stupid cast.
Helpless. Sometimes hopeless.

Joey giggled and her dad slapped his leg with a big guffaw. She
hadn't seen the reason for the laughter, but she loved watching her dad and Joey
interact. Joey needed a male role model in his life.

The doorbell jangled, and before she could grab her crutches,
her father jumped up.

“Let me get that.” He strode to the door and pulled it open,
then glanced at her before turning back to the visitor. “You don't happen to be
the neighbor who rescued my daughter?”

The heat that had risen to her face earlier returned, rolling
up her neck and sizzling her cheeks. “Devon, come in.” Seeing him filled her
with pleasure, and the sensation unsettled her.

He stuck out his hand. “I am, sir. I'm Devon Murphy.”

“Fred Andrews.” He grasped Devon's palm and shook. “I'm
Ashley's dad. Come in, like she said.” He stepped back.

Devon moved closer, glancing at her, then her dad. “Sorry to
interrupt, but—”

“No interruption at all. I'm in a hot game of car races with my
grandson, and Ashley's just sitting there.” He motioned Devon to the chair and
moved closer to Joey's cars.

“I can't really sit. I dropped by to see if you needed anything
from the grocery store. I'm on my way, and thought I'd stop and ask.” He didn't
draw nearer.

Addled by her reaction to seeing him, Ashley tried to act
casual. Then seeing her father's sly grin, she wanted to scream. She wished she
could will her cheeks to cool down. “I can't think of anything, Devon. That's so
nice of you to stop.”

“Ice cream, Mama.” Joey scrambled from the floor and hurried to
Devon. “Ice cream.”

Devon picked him up and gave him a squeeze. “We'd better check
with your mama.” He looked at her, his eyebrow arched, waiting for her
answer.

“Okay, ice cream, and we can probably use more milk, too, if
you don't mind.” She couldn't help but see her father's gleeful expression.

“Got it.” Devon lowered Joey to the floor. “How about this,
pal? I'll make you a fancy ice cream treat later. Did you ever have a banana
split?”

“Split?” He looked quizzically at Devon and then turned. “Mama.
Did I have a split?”

“I don't think you've had one, sweetie. It's bananas with ice
cream and—”

“'Nanas and ice cream. Yummy.” He clapped his hands together.
“Papa, a split?”

“Not for me, Joey. I have to get home, but you and your mom
will enjoy it.”

Devon held up his hand. “Please, don't leave on my
account.”

“Not at all. I just stopped by to check on Ashley, and my
grandson tricked me into playing race cars.”

“Zoom.” Joey's sound effect accompanied his imaginary car
sailing through the air.

“Give me a hug, boy.” Fred leaned forward and gave Joey another
bear hug, then walked over and kissed Ashley's cheek. “I'll leave you in this
man's capable hands.”

Before Devon could protest, Fred headed for the door.

With his hand on the knob, he paused. “Nice to meet you, Devon.
I appreciate your help here. So does my daughter. Right, sweetheart?” He gave
her another silly look and opened the door. “Enjoy the banana splits.”

Devon watched him go, speechless, and Ashley wanted to muzzle
her dad. He played matchmaker no matter what she said.

“Don't pay attention to him, Devon. Dad's a joker.” She hoped
she sounded jovial.

“I like him. He seems like a great father.” He gazed at Joey,
and Ashley wondered what he was thinking. “How are you doing? Getting around
better?”

She told him the progress she'd made the past few days. She'd
learned a few tricks to help her survive. He listened with interest, and she
wondered if he was relieved that he didn't have to keep track of her as he
seemed to be doing.

“I'm glad to hear you're doing better. That's good news.” He
took a couple steps back. “I'd better get to the store.” He dug in his pocket
and pulled out his keys.

“Thanks for checking on the groceries. You're thoughtful as
always.” She eased her back against the chair, hoping he couldn't tell she was
flustered.

“You're doing me a favor. I should say Joey is. I've been
yearning for a banana split. I'll be back after dinner. Okay?”

Though she wanted to decline, she couldn't. She'd missed his
company. “Sounds good. Neely brought over dinner, so we're in good shape.”

He nodded and pulled open the door. “Milk and ice cream. That's
all?”

“That's it.” She managed a pleasant look, willing away her
jitters. She watched him step outside, then close the door.

She sat thinking about her father's lecture and, of all things,
Devon's appearance. She could almost hear her father's mind planning how to
encourage the relationship. Truth was, he didn't have to. Her own thoughts
headed in the same direction even when she was determined to thwart them.

A relationship with Devon would never work.

* * *

Devon swallowed the last of his sandwich. Nothing fancy
when he was alone. Grilled cheese and tomato soup. He'd grown up with that for
lunch, and he loved it. At the firehouse, he ate bigger meals. Too much usually.
But he enjoyed it, mainly because he didn't have to cook.

He rinsed the bowl and plate, shoved them into the dishwasher
and rubbed his belly. Great meal and still enough room for that banana
split.

As he gathered the ingredients for dessert, he kept thinking
about Ashley. She appeared more comfortable on the crutches and had learned to
balance on her good leg while keeping the other off the floor and that gave her
one arm. Knowing she had figured out how to manage some tasks on her own made
him less concerned.

Still, he liked being there for her. He loved Joey's happy
face. The boy adored him, and that always made him feel good. He wished Kaylee
smiled more. She'd become more serious, less carefree, and she was so young. He
juggled reasons—the broken home, living at her aunt's house and missing him. He
missed her more than he could say. Teaching her skills, watching her grow and
hugging her at night, those things were lost to him except for the few days she
spent with him for visitation. Visitation sounded like company, not his child.
Divorce was a horrible thing. Everyone was hurt one way or the other.

On one hand, he knew his life was easier without having to find
someone to care for Kaylee when he worked, but the inconvenience didn't warm his
heart. What did warm it was Kaylee. He drew up his shoulders, rousing the
stamina to continue his life feeling half-empty. Sometimes more than half. He
came home to an empty house, no fragrance of perfume or dinner on the stove, no
voice greeting him or lips touching his.

Devon rapped his knuckles against the kitchen counter. Those
thoughts got him nowhere but depressed. Leaning against the fridge, he rubbed
his temple. He couldn't change life. Or could he? He eased his back from the
door and opened it, pulling out the ice cream and milk. Once in the paper sack,
he turned off the light and made his way to the front door. He hoped the outside
air would blow away his sad thoughts.

Seeing a sliver of moon as he walked to Ashley's reminded him
that Kaylee could see the same moon. She wasn't far away. The majesty of the
evening sky flooded him, and he lifted a prayer that the Lord forgive him for
his negligence in giving Kaylee a strong faith base. He promised that would
change. Maybe his little girl would learn to be happy again.

When he arrived, Devon rang the bell and tried the knob. The
door opened, so he called in and heard Ashley's welcoming voice. He widened the
entry and strode inside. “I hope you didn't need this milk for dinner. I hadn't
thought.”

“We did fine. It's a backup.” She grinned from her chair. Joey
gave him a pleading look, his hand clutching a ball. “Play.”

Devon held up the grocery bag. “Do you want to play or have ice
cream?”

Joey dropped the ball, and it bounced across the room.

“That answer was clear.” He winked at Ashley and headed toward
the kitchen with Joey on his heels.

After slipping the milk into the fridge, he popped the Sanders
hot fudge into the microwave for thrity seconds, located dessert bowls and went
to work—sliced bananas, large dips of ice cream and the warm hot fudge. He
sprinkled peanuts on top of Ashley's and his portion, then shook the canned
whipped cream, gave a squirt to all three sundaes and added a cherry on top of
each.

Joey watched from his side, standing on tiptoe while clutching
the countertop to see the action.

“Ready, big boy?” He showed him the bowl.

Joey reached for it, but Devon knew better. It could easily
become ice cream on the floor. He managed to carry the three bowls into the
dining room and gave Ashley a call. While she made her way, he settled Joey onto
his booster seat. He darted back to grab three napkins and the spoons and
returned as Ashley had maneuvered herself into the chair beside Joey.

“It looks scrumptious.” She lifted the spoon and took a bite,
capturing a little of everything except the cherry.