Authors: Haley Hill
âNecessarily?'
âWell, you are married, so you would have a better idea than me.'
âNick and I have sex.'
He nodded and slathered some butter on the bread. âAs gorgeous as you are, Ellie, I doubt you have as much sex as you did when you first met.'
I eyed a boiled egg that was on the table. âIs this really a breakfast conversation?'
âMaybe not,' he said, spooning on the jam, âbut it's a valid question.'
I picked up the egg and put it on my plate. âWell, it sounds like more of a judgement than a question.'
âI apologise,' he said. âI was just wondering, that's all. I read something about how sex is essential to maintain a couple's bond. There's a hormone that is released during sex and that is how a couple bonds and stays bonded.'
I couldn't help but laugh. âOxytocin,' I said.
Dominic looked back up at me. âYou really have done your research, haven't you?'
I nodded.
âSo how does it work?'
âIt's released when you stroke your dog or have sex.'
Dominic coughed. âWith your dog?'
I frowned. âOf course not. Also when breastfeeding. Both the baby and the mother release it. It's basically physical contact or orgasm which causes it to be released.'
Dominic smirked.
I continued. âSo if a couple stop having sex, or have cuddles which last less than ten to twelve seconds, apparently the levels drop.'
Dominic hooted with laughter. âCuddles? Do grown-up people actually have cuddles?'
I sighed. âYou know what I mean.'
He stared at his bread for a while and then back up at me. âAnd friendship?' he said. âYou and I talking right now. We're bonding, aren't we?'
I laughed.
âBut we haven't had any cuddles, have we?' he said, smirking. âOr orgasms.' Then he leaned back in his seat. âUnless, of course, you count that dream I had about you last night.'
I felt my cheeks flushing. âStop it.'
He grinned. âI'm joking,' he said, his smile widening. Then he took a quick slurp of coffee. âCome on, eat up, I'm dying to meet this guy.'
The taxi ride to Dr Gunnarsson's office took us through the quaint streets of Reykjavik. I stared out the window as
we passed the rows of Lego houses. I envisaged their architect to be a four-year-old child armed with crayons and a naive vision of how a town should look. I sat back ready to take in more scenery but was distracted by my phone, which kept vibrating.
Dominic leaned over, glancing at the screen. âSomeone missing their cuddles?'
I batted him away, and scrolled through my messages. I hadn't checked any since we'd landed. Three were from Nick.
7pm: Hope you had a good flight x
11pm: Miss you xx
1am: Remind buttock twat you're married xxx
I laughed out loud at the last one.
âWhat?' Dominic asked. I wouldn't tell him, so he huffed and pretended to look out the window.
Then I noticed there were three voicemails and a strange text from Matthew. I called him straight away.
He answered on the third ring. âEllie, where have you been?' He was almost shouting. âI've been trying to get hold of you for days!'
âDays?' I asked.
He let out a sharp sigh. âWell, since yesterday. And now it's today, so technically, that's two days I've been trying to reach you.'
âI'm in Iceland. Are you OK?'
âNo, I'm not.' His voice sounded pained, like he was being held up at gunpoint. âIceland the country?'
I laughed. âNo, Iceland the frozen food store. I thought Sara Lee might help combat the rising divorce rate.'
Matthew sighed. âThis is no time to joke, Ellie.'
âI'm sorry,' I said, leaning across to slap Dominic, who was now laughing loudly at my joke.
âIs that Nick?' Matthew asked.
âNo,' I said. âIt's Dominic, my colleague. He's helping me with the research.'
âThe CEO guy?' Matthew asked.
I nodded, although fully aware Matthew couldn't see me.
âThe one you hate?'
âYes,' I said, glancing at Dominic to make sure he hadn't heard. âBut I thought we were supposed to be talking about you.'
Matthew took in a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. âShe's left me, Ellie.'
My stomach lurched. âOh,' I said. âWhat happened?'
âI don't want to talk about it on the phone.'
I sighed. âPlease not another Smart car Red Bull road trip,' I said. âYou can't leave your kids again.'
Matthew huffed.
âShe
left me. And
she
took the kids. None of this was my choice. And it wasn't a Smart car. It was a Cinquecento.'
âWhatever,' I said. âI thought you two were sorting things out.'
âWe were.'
âWhat happened?'
âI told you, I don't want to talk about it on the phone.'
I sighed. âWell, you're going to have to. I'm in Iceland and you're in London.'
âI don't want the buttock clencher to overhear.'
âHe won't, don't worry.'
âNo. I can't. I have to go. I'll call you later.'
Then the line went dead. I tried to call back but it went straight to voicemail. I left a garbled message promising that next time the buttock clencher would be out of earshot. As soon as I said the words, I realised that just because Matthew couldn't hear me, it didn't mean that Dominic couldn't.
Dominic turned to me with raised eyebrows. âButtock clencher?'
I winced and then offered a smile. âHis words, not mine,' I said.
Dominic frowned. âBut he hasn't met me,' he said.
I shrugged my shoulders. âI'm sure he did one time.'
âHmmm,' Dominic murmured, eyeing me suspiciously.
It turned out that Dr Gunnarsson's office was based off campus on the outskirts of town. The taxi driver dropped us off in the car park, which was deserted apart from a man wearing a pair of micro shorts and a fleece. He had wild blond hair and a beaded necklace and looked like a hybrid of Boris Johnson and Bon Jovi.
He greeted us. â
Góðan daginn
,' he said.
Dominic and I looked at each other. The eccentric caretaker, or whoever he was, picked up a tatty-looking rucksack and gestured for us to follow him.
We took a small grassy path up beside a cluster of buildings, which led to another path along the side of a hill.
âIs Dr Gunnarsson's office up here?' I eventually asked, slightly concerned we'd been duped by a serial killer.
The man stopped and laughed heartily. Then he turned to me. âBore,' he said, holding out his hand. âBore Gunnarsson.'
I felt my face flush. âSorry,' I said, taking his hand. âI'm Ellie, lovely to meet you.'
Dominic laughed and stepped forward. âGood to meet you, Dr Gunnarsson,' he said, giving me a sly wink. âI've been following your research for some time now.'
âBore, please call me Bore,' he said, continuing up the path. âAnd as you've been following my research, as you say, you'll know precisely where we are going.'
Dominic glanced at me.
I shrugged my shoulders.
The path followed a river. Its grassy banks and misty turquoise water made me think that it too had been the brainchild of the four-year-old with the crayons.
Dr Gunnarsson stopped and turned to us.
âThis is known as Steam Valley,' he said, raising one arm out in front of him. âIceland lies in the middle of the continental rift, the point where the tectonic plates of North America and Europe join.' He pointed at the ground. âThe country was created by magma seeping out between the joining of the two plates. The plates continuously shift,' he continued, âcreating a weak point where energy can be easily released.' He paused and scratched his chin. âRather like a marriage,' he added. Then he unzipped his fleece and threw it to the ground. âThis results in what is known as a hot spring.' He whipped off his micro shorts and underpants, then ran and jumped into the steaming pool beside us. âCome on,' he said, before dunking his head under the water.
I glanced sideways at Dominic.
âI'm game,' Dominic said, pulling off his jumper. I stood silent and watched. His chest was broad, tanned and toned and his stomach flat and taut.
He looked at me and smiled. âYou coming?' he said, unzipping his jeans.
I quickly turned the other way, placing my hands over my eyes. âNo, I think I'll sit this one out.'
Bore laughed. âYou have to be at peace with your body to be at peace with your soul.'
âMy body is at peace. Thank you very much. It's just nice and warm in its fleece right now.'
I heard a splash.
âYou can look, I'm in now,' Dominic said.
I glanced down at him, leaning against the side of the spring, steam rising off his chest.
Bore turned to me, brow furrowed. âMy secretary informed you I conduct all my meetings here, didn't she?'
I shook my head.
âIt opens my mind,' he said, leaning back and closing his eyes.
âGreat,' I said. âI'll just perch on the edge and ask you questions from here.'
Bore opened his eyes again. âIceland is an equal country. To engage in an equal debate, we must all be equal. Besides,' he added, âto understand us, you must live like us.' Then he dunked his head back into the water.
Dominic was grinning. âIf it makes you feel any better, Bore and I will turn the other way when you get in.' Dominic flipped himself over. âThere you go,' he said. âCan't see anything.'
Bore did the same, after reminding me that it was my soul he was keen to discover, not my body.
âOK,' I said. âSo long as you promise no peeking, Dominic.'
He laughed. âOf course not. I'm a gentleman.'
I quickly removed my shoes, socks and both of my fleeces. Then my T-shirt.
âYou done yet?' Dominic asked.
âNo,' I said, quickly covering myself in case he turned around. Then I wriggled out of my jeans. I wrapped a fleece around my body and quickly whipped off my bra and knickers. Then. as quick as I could. I dropped the fleece and slid into the water.
âI'm in,' I said, instantly feeling the warmth spread around me.
Dominic flipped over and smiled. âWelcome,' he said, moving towards me.
It was cloudy but I could see the outline of his body through the water. I couldn't help but glance down.
Dominic caught me looking and grinned.
Bore turned to face us. âNow,' he said, leaning back against the side. âMake yourself comfortable and look up at the sky. When a question for me comes, don't filter it, just let it out.' His body was rising up and his penis began bobbing up on the surface. I screwed up my face and Dominic laughed.
Dominic leaned over and whispered in my ear, âIs there an eel in the water or is he just pleased to see us?'
Bore looked up and frowned. âLet's just get the silly toilet humour out of the way first. Any more comments to mask your deep-rooted body insecurities and suppressed sexuality?'
Dominic leaned back and dipped his hair in the water. âYou said no filtering.'
âI did indeed.'
Dominic sat up and ran a hand through his wet hair. I wondered if he was deliberately acting out an aftershave
advert. âSo my question to you, Bore,' Dominic said, âis, with all the goodwill in the world, how do we ignore the fact we're naked in a spring?'
I giggled.
âYou don't ignore it,' Bore said. âYou face it. Remove the barriers to intimacy to allow free-flowing communication. By being naked, I am making myself vulnerable to you and to nature.'
I lay back and stared into the sky, letting my thoughts flow around my head. I glanced up to see Dominic watching me. He quickly looked away.
I sat up to ask Bore a question. âSo Icelandic people,' I said, âare the happiest in the world?'
âWell, as far as it is reported,' Bore replied.
âYet they have the highest divorce rate?' I asked.
âYes,' said Bore.
I stared at him for a moment and waited for an explanation.
âWhy?' I asked, when it was apparent one wasn't coming.
Bore took a deep breath. âWe are yet to discover a universal measure for happiness, so we must rely on self-reported data,' he began. âThat being said, Iceland does have the highest reported levels of happiness. The divorce rate is high. Yet there is no proven link between the two. It's not cause or effect. And if it was, does happiness cause divorce? Or does divorce cause happiness?'
âWell,' I said, âin my experience, divorce certainly doesn't cause happiness.'
Bore raised a finger. âMarriage promises happiness. Have you considered, Ellie, that it is only unhappy people who pursue happiness? And therefore in turn, unhappy people get married, because they think it will make them happy?
And when it doesn't they get divorced and blame their unhappiness on a failed marriage?'
I looked down into the spring, while my mind processed what he had said. Then I turned to Dominic.
He was looking down thoughtfully too. Then he looked up and cleared his throat.
âSo you're saying,' he said, âthat just as happiness and divorce are not causal, neither is happiness and marriage.'
âPrecisely,' Bore said, sinking his shoulders into the water.
I did the same and then tipped my head back. I looked back up at the sky and watched a wispy cloud float past.
âIt's beautiful here,' I said.
Bore smiled. âI'm glad you've finally noticed.'
Dominic looked me up and down in the water. âQuite spectacular,' he said.
Bore glanced at Dominic and then at me and smiled.
âThe Icelandic people,' he continued, âbelieve in freedom and independence. We place a high degree of importance on self-sufficiency. This lack of dependence enables us to leave a marriage we no longer want to be in.'