Authors: Haley Hill
Jed forced a smile. âNothing,' he said, a bead of sweat dripping from his top lip. âGeoff is right,' Jed said, holding his arms out to us. âYou should stay for “Love Languages” part two.'
I looked at Dominic and shrugged my shoulders. I was here to learn after all. Dominic looked back at me and let out a deep sigh.
Following a horrendous buffet lunch, during which Dominic and I were bombarded with well wishes from fellow delegates regarding our breakthroughs, we were summoned by Geoff to reconvene back in the hall. I hadn't even had the chance to ask Dominic about what he'd said about his mother and fiancée.
The chairs had been rearranged theatre style, so we were all facing the stage. Jed was reintroduced by the movie voiceover and the stage effect flames reignited. The audience began clapping wildly, their enthusiasm clearly untempered by lukewarm coffee and stale sandwiches.
While Jed began loudly defining the different love languages and explaining what makes one of us feel loved might not do the same for another, I glanced to my side to see Dominic about to drift off. I nudged him in the ribs with my elbow.
âThe key to a happy relationship,' Jed said, while pacing back and forth on the stage, âis to discover
your
love language and that of your spouse.'
âDid he just say “spouse”?' Dominic asked, rubbing his eyes.
I jabbed him again. âListen. This is important.'
Soon after, we were instructed to pair off for a session entitled âFinding
Your
Love Language'.
Dominic sat opposite me and then grinned. âSo what makes you feel loved, Ellie?' he asked with a double eyebrow raise.
I bit my lip and thought for a moment.
âTime,' I said. âSomeone spending time with me, wanting to be with me.'
âSomeone?' Dominic asked, with another eyebrow raise. âOr Nick?'
I tutted. âNick, of course.'
He crossed his legs and smirked. âWell, you said “someone”.'
âWell, it's obvious I meant Nick.'
He shrugged his shoulders. âWhat else makes you feel loved? Flowers? Chocolates?'
I scrunched up my mouth. âI suppose I like presents, but it's more the gesture, the token, to show that he's thinking about me.'
Dominic smirked. âWho? Someone? Or Nick?'
I rolled my eyes. âAnd you, what makes you feel loved, Dominic?'
âBlow jobs,' he said.
I tutted. âAnything else?'
He let out a sharp sigh. âI don't know. I haven't really thought about it.'
âIsn't now the time to think about it?'
He looked down at the floor, then back up at me, a fleeting sadness preceding his smile. âWhat's the point?' he asked.
I cocked my head and stared at him for a while. âWhat you said earlier, about your mother and yourâ'
He interrupted me with a laugh. âI was just winding him up,' he said, then he laughed some more.
I continued staring at him, realising that the conversation had now reached a dead end.
âSo,' I said, gripping my workshop notebook and pen and adopting a Jed Tandyâstyle demeanour. âDo you have a
spouse
?' I asked, emphasising the word to make him laugh.
He grinned. âWhy? Are you interested?'
I rolled my eyes again. âI'm married, Dominic. Did I forget to tell you that?'
He sat back. âNo, Ellie, you didn't forget to tell me that.' He lifted his arms up behind his head. âIn fact, if I recall correctly, you told me approximately thirty seconds after we were introduced.'
I felt my neck flush. âNo, I didn't.'
He smirked. âYes, you did. You said: “Hi, I'm Ellie, I'm married and I've been a matchmaker for five years.”'
I frowned. âThat was a weird way to introduce myself.'
He laughed. âYes, I thought so. I found it odd that you
chose to prioritise your marital status over your profession too.'
I frowned.
Dominic laughed. âI just assumed it was an unconscious reaction to my good looks. “Wow, he's super hot. I'm married. Must not have these thoughts. I'm married. God I want him. I'm married. I bet he has a huge⦔'
I smirked. âYou're not funny.'
He grinned. âThen why are you smiling?'
I sighed. âYou want to know what I really thought?'
He nodded.
âI thought you were a privileged little prick who walked like he had a stick up his arse.'
Dominic sat back and laughed. âBlow me,' he said. âEleanor Rigby swears. I never thought I'd see the day.' He laughed some more and then his expression suddenly shifted. âJust for the record,' he said, leaning forward, âI wasn't asking you to blow me.'
I giggled.
âAlthough any offers would be gratefully received,' he added.
I raised my eyebrows. âSo you don't have a girlfriend then?'
âYou so want me, don't you?'
I sighed.
He was still grinning. âNo, I don't have a girlfriend. I'm saving myself for you.'
I sat back and stared at him for a while.
He rolled his eyes. âOh, don't even try to analyse me, Ellie. Poor Dominic had his heart broken and now he deflects any questions about love with crude innuendo and requests for oral sex.'
I laughed. âDominic, I've been matchmaking for ten years. I don't have to analyse anything. I can read you like a book.'
His eyes widened momentarily, then he sat back with his arms folded. âYou know every good book has a killer twist, don't you?'
I smiled and then nodded.
Once a now jaded Jed had concluded the afternoon sessions of the Love Languages conference, we took our goody bags, which comprised Jed Tandy branded materials and a signed copy of his
Master the Language of Love
handbook complete with DVD series, Dominic and I made our way outside.
The air was icy and I pulled my coat in around me.
âFancy a bite to eat?' Dominic asked. I could tell he was trying to be casual but there was an underlying awkwardness.
I shook my head. âNick and I are having a night in tonight.'
Dominic nodded. âNo worries,' he said. âI'll probably just head back to the hotel now anyway.'
I grabbed my phone as Dominic walked away and dialled Nick's number. It took twelve rings before he picked up.
âHey, babe,' he said. I could hear music pumping in the background and squealing female voices.
âWhere are you?' I asked.
âVodka Fusion. Work drinks.'
âOh right. Sounds like fun,' I said, realising he'd clearly forgotten our planned night in. Or chosen to forget it because he was still annoyed.
I held out for an invite, then the line began to crackle.
âIt will probably be a late one,' he said between crackles. âDon't wait up!'
I stood on the cold stone steps and watched my breath clouding into the evening air. Since we'd arrived in New York, not once had Nick and I even so much as gone out for dinner together. So much for our fresh new start.
I looked across the street and saw Dominic about to turn a corner.
âHey!' I shouted. âWait for me!'
âI
don't mean to criticise your husband,' Dominic said, as he took my hand and led me to the front of the queue, âbut I can't believe he hasn't taken you to Sushisamba yet. What's wrong with the man?'
I shrugged my shoulders. âWho's to say I couldn't have brought Nick here instead?'
He scrunched up his face. âA woman taking a man out for dinner?' Then he shook his head. âThat's just wrong.'
Dominic dragged me to the front of the queue and straight through the doorway. We were greeted by the front of house, who was six feet of Russian supermodel.
âTable for two,' Dominic said.
She glanced at the queue, then back at Dominic. âYou have a reservation?' she asked in a tone generally reserved for gathering military intelligence.
Dominic leaned forward and whispered something in her ear.
She nodded and smiled. âMy apologies, sir. Come with me, please,' she said before walking ahead.
As we weaved our way through the glitzy crowd, I leaned into Dominic. âWhat did you say to her?' I asked.
He smirked as we sat down. âI told her she could have my number.'
I frowned and then laughed. âMore like you told her your grandfather is the chief investor in the restaurant.' Dominic laughed.
âI told you I could read you like a book.'
âMaybe,' he said and then smirked.
Straight away and without ordering we were presented with cocktails. I took a sip of mine and looked around, suddenly feeling conspicuous in my dull grey work suit, which was creased from sitting all day. I glanced down and noticed there was a stain on the inside of my trouser leg: the result of an overzealous embrace from an empathetic delegate with an egg mayonnaise sandwich.
Dominic must have noticed me trying to rub off the stain with my napkin because he reached for my hand and lifted it back towards my drink.
âRelax,' he said, with a soft smile. âIt's not like you've got anyone to impress, is it?' He winked. âAfter all you're married, don't forget.'
I smiled. âMarriage doesn't save anyone from the humiliation of a greasy crotch stain,' I said, and then took another sip of my cocktail. It tasted like chilled lychee heaven.
The head of house, seemingly having abandoned her post as door monitor, placed menus in front of us. She leaned in extra close to Dominic so he had an uninterrupted view of her sculpted cleavage.
Dominic did a double eyebrow raise as she walked away. âShe's really angling for my number, isn't she?'
I laughed. âSo what did you really say to her?'
He shrugged his shoulders. âIt was as you said, I reminded her my grandfather paid her salary, of course.' Then he grinned at me.
I looked at him for a moment, trying to read his expression but I failed to glean anything other than genuine amusement.
âRight,' he said, suddenly breaking eye contact and picking up his phone. âThis trip we're going on.'
He began scrolling through his phone. âOK, here it is. The travel plans.' He looked at the screen, mumbling the destinations as he read. âTexas, Long Island, Icelandâ¦' Then he paused.
âWhy on earth has Mandi booked a retreat in Bali for a week?' He glanced at me as though demanding an explanation. âWe're not here to find ourselves. We need to get results.' He scowled at me. âWhat happened to the list I sent you?'
I glanced to the ceiling and then back at him. âMandi said it was too Western-centred. She insisted we balance it with some Eastern philosophies.'
Dominic rolled his eyes. âMost Western practices are based on Eastern principles anyway. It's not as though we've managed to come up with anything new.' He sighed and then scratched his head. âUs Westerners just choose to evidence our research rather than rely on generations of inherited assumptions.' He continued to read. âAyahuasca,' he said facing the phone to me. âWhat is that?'
I squinted at the screen. âOh yes,' I said. âMandi said it's
a therapeutic tea that the Peruvians drink. Apparently, you get to see inside yourself and it makes you a better person.'
Dominic tapped on his phone. He frowned at the screen. âAyahuasca is a hallucinogen, one which is illegal in most countries, it seems.' He looked up at me. âMandi wants us to take some crazy trip so we can hallucinate the answers on how to prevent divorce? What is wrong with her?'
I narrowed my eyes. âHer? What's up with you? How come this is all suddenly
us
?'
Dominic shifted in his seat and then took a gulp of his cocktail.
âYou clearly need some supervision,' he said.
I frowned, wondering why everyone seemed to think I was incapable of conducting this research alone.
The supermodel reappeared at our table.
âI take your order?' she purred at Dominic.
Dominic glanced at me, then back at her. âWe'll have the fifteen-piece sashimi, lobster rolls, rock shrimp tempura and the pork belly lettuce wraps.' He handed her the menus. âOh, and the Moqueca Mista.'
She nodded, her gaze lingering on Dominic, almost implying the threat of suffocation between her thighs if he didn't reciprocate.
He waved her away and then turned back to me. âI'm quite surprised you've been so passive in this whole process,' he said. âYou've got such strong opinions about everything else.'
I frowned. âIt's not my fault I'm unfamiliar with the menu.'
Dominic laughed. âI'm talking about the research. You were the one who was all gung-ho about finding a cure for divorce and developing advanced training for matchmakers.
And now it's come to it, it's as though you're delegating the process to everyone else.'
âOh I am, am I?'
He nodded. âWhy else would you let me and Mandi arrange your trip?'
I took a breath. âI didn't let you and Mandi arrange my trip. You foisted it upon me.'
He leaned back. âOh, come on, Ellie. You're hardly the sort of person who lets things be foisted upon them.' He paused for a moment. âIf you were that way inclined I would've ordered the sea urchin.'
I sighed.
âLook,' he said, âit's common knowledge that you and I haven't seen eye to eye.'
I raised my eyebrows.
âOK,' he said smiling, âit's common knowledge that you hate me.' He leaned back and smoothed down his shirt. âAlthough I stand by my hypothesis that you're deeply attracted to me and you're unconsciously attempting to drive temptation away.'
I rolled my eyes.
He continued. âAnd you're letting me and Mandiâ¦' he paused ââ¦who's a raving loon at the best of timesâ¦' he paused again â⦠and now fuelled by hormonesâ¦' He looked down at his plate. âShe's positively mental. You should've seen the outfit she was wearing last week. My God.'