Love Is... (30 page)

‘I hope we're having sushi tonight,' I said, mostly to myself.

‘If you wear that orange dress, I'll eat gorilla testicles.' Dominic sniggered. ‘You done yet?'

‘No,' I said, stepping into the dress. As I slid it on, I remembered how different I looked with a few curves. Until now, the strain of the business expansion and the seemingly endless rounds of fertility treatment had left me flat bottomed and flat chested.

I readjusted the straps and looked in the mirror.

Dominic peered around the curtain.

‘Bloody hell, Ellie,' he said and then swallowed.

I looked at him, then back at my reflection.

‘You don't think it's a bit Kardashian?' I said, turning round and assessing the impact of the weight gain on my rear.

Dominic laughed, then shook his head. ‘I always knew you had a great body,' he said, ‘and I had a good eyeful in Iceland, but, well, all I can say is wow.'

I turned back to the mirror. ‘Maybe I should get the white shirt instead. I'm not sure I'm comfortable parading around Tokyo dressed like a Pussycat Doll.'

Dominic narrowed his eyes. ‘Ellie, this is Prada. It's classy. Besides, you couldn't look tarty if you wore pink
PVC hot pants.' He paused and then rubbed his temples. ‘Is it wrong for that image to give me a hard-on?'

I rolled my eyes and then pulled the curtain shut.

‘You're getting that dress,' he said. ‘And the shirt too, along with a few pairs of jeans so you look less like a homeless hobo for the remainder of our time here.'

Chapter 24

T
hat night we dined at Dazzle, a restaurant Dominic said was famed not only for its Michelin-starred food but also for its award-winning interior. He claimed it was the only venue worthy of my new dress.

By my second glass of champagne, I began to feel less exposed in the four square inches of satin.

‘Did you know Tokyo has more Michelin star restaurants than any other city?' Dominic said, taking a sip. ‘It would have been criminal not to come to one.'

‘Yes,' I said, taking a sip myself, ‘and it's vital to our research that we thoroughly immerse ourselves in a different culture.'

Dominic laughed. ‘Not sure we can fully justify expensing those Louboutins as well as the dress.' He gazed down at my shoes, pausing en route to glance at my cleavage.

Then he looked up at me and smiled.

My stomach tightened.

He leaned forward and placed his hand on top of mine. ‘I'm sorry,' he said.

‘For what?'

His smile softened. ‘Sorry about Jenna and Nick. That's a shitty thing to find out.'

‘I know,' I said, and then paused. ‘But it's not as though I've been entirely innocent, is it?'

Dominic laughed. ‘Oh, but you have, Ellie.' He squeezed my hand and then glanced back at my chest. ‘I wish you hadn't, but you have.'

I took another sip of champagne.

Dominic leaned forward and swept a strand of hair from my face. ‘You have to admit you've been tempted though, haven't you?'

I stared at him and then took another sip.

He grinned. ‘I'll take that as a yes.' He topped up my glass. ‘If I get you completely drunk, might I be able to tempt you a little bit more?'

I forced a laugh and then shook my head.

Dominic snatched the glass away. ‘Actually, on second thoughts, this might take longer than anticipated so best you pace yourself.'

I laughed.

He took my hand again and stared at me. ‘You know I'd be with you in a heartbeat, Ellie Rigby, don't you?'

I laughed again. ‘Didn't that booth sex get it out of your system?'

‘I mean
be
with you. Not just have sex. Besides,' he said, ‘that booth just made me hornier.'

I grabbed my glass back and took a gulp. ‘So what did you think of it?'

He screwed up his mouth. ‘A brilliant concept, but something not quite right about the whole thing.'

I nodded. ‘Me too.'

Dominic downed his champagne and then leaned forward. ‘I have to ask you,' he said. ‘The female bodysuit, did it have, you know, something attached to it?'

My face flushed.

Dominic closed his eyes and took a deep breath. ‘I never need porn ever again.'

I laughed.

He continued. ‘So are you going to tell me who it was?'

‘Who what was?'

‘The person your avatar turned into in the end, you know, at the crucial moment?'

I stared at him. His mouth was curled at the edges, ready to spread into a huge grin. He knew it was him.

‘Hugh Jackman,' I said, taking another sip. ‘Can you believe it? Like my bond with him needed strengthening at all.'

Dominic scrunched up his face. ‘You're joking, aren't you?'

I shook my head, laughing.

‘You seriously like him? I mean, he was OK as Wolverine but isn't he a chorus singer too? Don't you find that a bit camp?'

I laughed. ‘Not jealous, are you?'

He huffed and then refilled his glass.

I stared at him until he met my gaze. ‘So you're not threatened by my actual real relationship with my husband. You don't see that as a barrier at all? However, you are threatened by a Hollywood star who I have zero chance of ever meeting, let alone actually embarking on a relationship with?'

He laughed. ‘I like you, Ellie. I can't help my feelings.'
He took another sip. ‘And of course I'm aware that your real-life “colleague-shagging” husband is a barrier to our relationship.'

I took a deep breath. ‘We don't have a relationship, Dominic.'

He put his glass down and stared at me, his expression suddenly shifting. I noticed his jaw tense. ‘Then what is this, Ellie?' he said, pointing at us both. ‘What is it?'

I glanced down at the empty plate in front of me and tried desperately to think of something to say.

‘For fuck's sake, Ellie,' he said, loudly enough for the people on the table beside us to glance over. He stared at me, imploring me to speak. I could see his lips trembling.

I said nothing.

He stared at me some more, then eventually stood up, knocking over his champagne glass as he did, then stormed out of the restaurant.

I looked back at the glass, still spinning around on the table top. It fell to the floor and shattered instantly.

The waiter hurried over, and began clearing up the glass and dabbing the spill. I looked up to see the other diners staring at me in silence. I glared back at them, hurried after Dominic.

Outside, the air was heavy and hot, noises bombarded my eardrums: engines roaring, music booming, people shrieking, sirens blaring. It felt as though the city itself were trying to warn me.

I found Dominic hailing a taxi and felt a sudden surge of fury.

I reached for his arm. ‘So you were just going to leave me here in the street, were you?'

He turned round, eyes narrowed. ‘You can't have it all ways, Ellie,' he said. ‘You can't pretend not to care and then act like you do.'

I stared back at him. ‘I can't care,' I said. ‘I vowed not to care.'

He waved the taxi on and then walked towards me.

‘This is madness,' he said. ‘How can you pretend there's nothing there?'

‘Because I have to,' I said, my gaze dropping down to the pavement.

He came closer and gripped my arms. ‘Well,
I
don't have to,' he said, pulling me towards him. ‘And I don't want to.'

I looked up at him, at the intensity in his stare.

‘He doesn't deserve you,' he said, then pulled me closer. I could feel his muscles pressing against me. I tried to wriggle free but his grasp was firm.

Another siren came blaring down the street and it felt as though my senses shut down to the city around me. When his lips met mine, all I could hear was silence.

Moments later, Dominic lurched backwards. I opened my eyes to see that someone had him by the scruff. It took a few seconds for my brain to register what was happening, but when I saw Nick's wide eyes, staring back at me in disbelief, the realisation of what I had done bore down like a jackhammer to the cranium.

Without saying a word, Nick turned to Dominic and punched him in the face.

Dominic fell backwards, then quickly regained his balance. ‘Whoa, easy, mate,' Dominic said, rubbing his cheek.

‘Easy?' Nick said, grabbing him by the arms.

I stepped forward.

Nick looked at me again, before kneeing Dominic in the stomach.

Dominic staggered backwards, then when he'd caught his breath he held up his hands. ‘OK, OK,' he said. ‘Fair enough, I deserve it.' He walked towards Nick with his hand out as though he intended to make peace. ‘But,' he added, quickly retracting it, ‘you deserve this.' Then he punched Nick in the stomach.

Nick doubled over and then coughed several times before charging at Dominic.

‘Enough!' I shouted, waving my arms in the air.

They both turned to me.

‘This is my fault,' I said. ‘Be angry with me. Not each other.'

Nick glared at me. ‘Yes, it is your fault.' Then he glared at Dominic. ‘But this creep has been after you from the beginning.'

Dominic laughed. ‘Creep?' he said, tucking his shirt back in. ‘I'm the guy who's been here for Ellie while you've been shagging the office slapper.'

Nick's face contorted and he squared up to Dominic. ‘You know fuck all about me or my life, so why don't you just fuck off.'

Dominic shrugged his shoulders. ‘I know that you're a bloody idiot for neglecting Ellie.'

Nick pushed Dominic away and then turned to me. ‘Oh great, so you've been crying on this twat's shoulder, have you? Telling him I'm neglecting you. You're the one who wanted to go on this ridiculous trip.'

‘Well, you're the one who wanted to drag me away from my friends and my life to go to New York.'

Nick glared at me.

I glared back at him. ‘I never wanted to go,' I said.

Nick stepped forward. ‘Well, I never wanted to live in a dusty old house with carpets in the bathroom.'

I narrowed my eyes. ‘It was a beautiful house.'

‘It was a shithole. And we didn't have the money to renovate it.'

‘I loved it.'

Nick continued to glare at me. ‘Well, I didn't.'

‘But you said you were happy there.'

Nick sighed. ‘I never said that, Ellie. You were so busy making plans for the both of us, you forgot to ask.'

I scowled at him. ‘You should've told me you weren't happy.'

Nick raised his eyebrows. ‘I did but you never listened. You were too preoccupied trying to create the perfect life for us.'

‘Great, so it's all my fault.'

‘Yes, it is,' Nick answered.

‘What about your part in all this?'

Nick threw up his arms. ‘My part? So now you're going to tell me I drove you into this bellend's arms?' He gestured at Dominic. Then glanced back at me. ‘Nice dress, by the way,' he said. ‘Can't remember the last time you wore something like that with me.'

Dominic stepped forwards. ‘Don't blame Ellie,' he said. ‘It was mostly me.'

‘Mostly?' Nick said turning to me, eyebrows raised.

I raised mine back at him. ‘What did you expect?'

‘What did I expect? I expected my wife to be faithful to me.'

‘Really? While you had Jenna in our bed every night.'

Nick laughed loudly. ‘That's what you think, is it?'

I folded my arms. ‘That's what I know. Victoria told me.'

Nick nodded slowly. ‘And you believe everything she says, do you?'

I shrugged my shoulders. ‘I do actually.'

Nick forced another laugh. ‘You wanted to believe it, didn't you? It gave you the perfect excuse to jump into bed with this idiot.'

Dominic stepped between me and Nick.

Nick backed away, shaking his head slowly. ‘I think we're done here,' he said.

I went to follow him but he turned to me and shook his head again. ‘We're done, Ellie,' he said. ‘We're done.'

I looked at Dominic and then I looked at the place where Nick had been standing. I could hear my heart beating, feel it pounding into my ribs and squashing my lungs. I tried to breathe but only mustered a thin gasp of air. More sirens came blaring down the road. I looked around. I wanted to go home, but I had no idea where home was any more. Dominic slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me towards him.

‘It's OK, Ellie,' he said. ‘Everything will be OK.'

Chapter 25

T
hat night I slept alone. I dreamed I was on a bridge between two continents. They drifted further and further apart, stretching the bridge until it grew so narrow it eventually split and I plunged into the ocean. Then I woke, rushed to the bathroom and vomited.

It felt good to purge, although I was unsure whether it was guilt, anger or Michelin-star dining that I was trying to expel. Afterwards, I drew back the curtains and slid open the door to the balcony. It was nearing 1 a.m. but the sounds of the city hadn't waned at all. I looked out at the buildings and bright lights sprawling to the horizon and I wondered where Nick was, or if he would even stay in Tokyo. I glanced down at my phone, hoping for a clue. There were three new messages from Dominic.

I felt a throb in my chest as I deleted each one. Then I sent a message to Nick.

Where are you? We need to talk.

I wasn't expecting a reply but my phone buzzed thirty seconds later.

I'll be there in five. Room number?

When I heard him knock on the door, my stomach flipped. My hands were trembling as I pulled the hotel robe over my negligee. Although he'd seen me naked more times than my mother, given the circumstances, it felt inappropriate to greet him dressed like Belle du Jour.