Love Is Fear (41 page)

Rachel twined her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, spreading her legs wider to make space for his hips. His hand went to her thigh as he twined her leg around his waist, adjusting his stance so he was lower, could notch his erection in the vee of her legs. They both moaned at the same time, as though he’d found the right spot for them both. His other hand went to her ass, hauling her closer as his mouth stayed latched at her neck.

Cerdewellyn had moved next to Valerie, and she hadn’t even noticed, was so dismayed at the sight before her that she wouldn’t have noticed if the whole damned castle was burning to the ground.

Tears blurred her vision.

“
Come. There is nothing for you here,” Cer said, and he took her hand, just as Jack lifted Rachel up, turning, carrying her to the bed as he kissed her deeply.

Val blinked and felt a bone-deep displacement as Cer shifted them from the room, taking them outside, wind whipping her hair across her face. Her eyes stung, adjusting to the harsh light of day.

“
How could this all have happened? It’s everything…upside down and wrong.” Her voice was crackly, and she was staring into the distance with glassy eyes. Where were they? The castle was in the distance, and she could hear the pounding of the ocean around her.

“
Your day is not yet done. I must insist upon collecting my debt,” Cerdewellyn said calmly.

She laughed, a tinge of hysteria making it loud. “
Now?
Really? And what do you want, O Mighty king.”

“
My people are dying and you can save them,” he said.

“
Are you kidding me? Everyone wants something from me. And, okay, your reason for wanting me is particularly compelling, but— I really, 
really
, just want a normal, boring life.”

He frowned. “There are so many people in the world. And yet, no more than a few are actually needed on a fundamental level.”

“
That sounds like a compliment,” she said.

“
Only you can save us. Be glad you are needed. There are people who would kill to have what you are born with. In fact, there are many of my kind who would sacrifice everything one could name to have your gifts.”

“
Huh. No chance you can give 
them
 my gift, is there?” she said waspishly, knowing she was hanging on to her sanity by a thread.

Cerdewellyn looked into her eyes, tilting her chin up so she could see into his black depths. “I can give you the power to defend yourself and start anew. I can make Lucas and Jack rue the day they chose other than you. Can make revenge your toy, laughter and pain your coin. But perhaps most importantly, I can take away your naiveté, grant you immortality so that you need never fear again.”

“
Immortality and power?”

He nodded.

She grimaced and shook her head. “That sounds like the sort of promise that includes some seriously fine print at the bottom. But, thank you. That’s super nice of you.” Val looked around, needing to get off this rock. No, not a rock. A cliff. 
I’m on a fucking cliff?

He acted like she hadn’t spoken. “No more fear, no more bumbling about in the dark. You will know the answer to every question you have. I can bring you into the light.”

An alarm bell went off in her mind. He sounded pretty fanatical. “What’s the catch?” she said, squinting.

He looked at her in confusion.

“
What’s the downside. Why 
wouldn’t
 I want to do this?”

He smiled at her radiantly, then laughed. It made the ground tremble and some scraggly bushes that were growing out of the rock, bloom, the flowers opening and stretching towards his voice.

“
This could be the last time you ever ask someone that question and not know if you are getting an honest answer.”

Now 
that
 was tempting. No one ever told her the truth. For a moment she took his offer seriously. “I won’t die, and I’ll have lots of power? People won’t be able to lie to me and, with these gifts, I probably won’t be afraid or naïve anymore?”

“
Yes,” he said and gave her a gentle smile.

“
I want to think about it.”

He shook his head. “I am afraid that is not possible. You promised me that you would grant my favor, despite the fact that it would change the balance and alter lives. This is my favor, a gift you 
must
 accept. To become my consort, a full Empath, and help my people thrive again.”

She took a step back, a gust of wind, pushing her back into Cer’s arms.

“
Another step and you will fall.” He held onto her. “Accept,” he said quietly, his words carried away on a gust of wind.

“
Will you kill me if I say no? You just said you needed me!” she said, desperately gambling that he wouldn’t kill her and was bluffing.

“
I do need you, and you are now in my world. Look around you, look at the barrenness. The hard desolation. Below us is the magic sea and, in it, you will find your power. You shall go in no matter what. I am a King first. You will obey. The only question is whether you obey and enjoy it, or obey and have it break you to pieces.”

She tried to struggle.

He took a step backwards to the edge, dragging her with him. She couldn’t think, was afraid to fall, knew she wouldn’t survive the drop. She could hear the ocean pounding far below.

“
It will hurt if you are unwilling. I will not ask you again.”

She was deathly afraid and didn’t care what she promised, just didn’t want to die, would find a fix later. She wanted to accept. 
I always say yes. That’s what gets me into this bullshit.

“
No,” 
she said and then louder, her conviction growing.

He took a deep breath, his grip on her arms relaxing. He shook his head as if her answer created a problem he had not anticipated. “Never say I did not warn you.” His arms wrapped around her, her chest to his as he took one step, then two. The ground fell away and she was falling, screaming, as they fell towards the raging sea.

Acknowledgements

As always, a surprisingly large number of people helped to get this book done. My husband and children who deserve a home-cooked meal if we can ever find someone to make it. My parents, who helped out so that I could write and go to conferences. My friend Melissa who kept me sane and made me exercise—I like you anyway. And to Lauren, who defies description and is the best writer I know.

Also, I need to thank my writer’s group, Witchy Writer’s, who have read more scenes and revisions than they ever wanted to. Will I ever buy enough pancake puppies to make it up to you? Thank you Mertianna Georgia, R. A. Gates, Roxanne Price and Lauren Stewart. Laura, Melinda and Sarah, can’t wait for your books too!

And finally to my first fans whose enthusiasm and willingness to give opinions has kept me going. Keren Kiesslinger, my cheerleader. Jessica Porter who gave me detailed notes and to Mandy Norrell, who not only gave feedback but made a LIF soundtrack for me.

Thank you!