Love Is Fear (38 page)

Jack might by dying but Lucas… She couldn’t look away from him, couldn’t stop touching him, needing to reassure herself that he was alright. 
Isn’t that kind of fucked up? Jack might be dead. Gone forever. 
Val knew she should care more, be worried for him. And then the thought slipped away and she looked back at Lucas, feeling compelled to touch him again.

“
To what end?” Lucas called over Valerie, angrily speaking to Rachel. She’d never heard him sound so human. So angry and impassioned. 
Cruel
. “You think he would thank you for it? Forget what you are? You do this and you only give him the power to kill you. Do not Rachel. It is Marion’s life, and more, if you do it.”

But even as he said the words, Val heard Jack gasp and cough. She turned, keeping her hand on Lucas’ chest, as though he might disappear at any moment. The shimmering glow was fading, and Jack lay on the ground, clothes still bloody but skin healed.

“
Why is he still unconscious?” Val asked.

“
Tell her what you’ve done,” Lucas said darkly.

Rachel bit her lip as she slumped to the ground, her head in her hands. Her voice was muffled. “He’ll survive. But… not as a human. He’ll become a wolf. But he’ll live.” She looked up, her face pale, with that dehydrated look that she’d had before, when she’d made the wolves out of thin air. Whatever she’d done had taxed her.

“
If we are going to bind him, it has to happen before he wakes up,” Rachel said tiredly. She got to her feet, hands braced on her knees as she took deep breaths.

Valerie felt her own breath hitch, her ears ring a little. “What? What do you mean 
bind
 him?” She had a flash of an image—a wolf and Cerdewellyn, children walking into flames. She blinked.

Rachel was looking only at Valerie, ignoring Lucas completely. As if Val was the one with the power. “Werewolves are no better than animals. Mindless and driven by animal urges unless they are bound to another. They need a pack. Jack won’t have one. If there is no pack, he needs the emotions of someone else to restrain his beast.”

Lucas stood, and she felt his presence behind her. She turned to see him, his facial expression so cold that Valerie knew he was furious.

Would he have let Jack die? Was that what she’d just seen? Her heart pounded. She thought she knew the answer but wasn’t sure. Had to do 
this
 first, then she would worry about Lucas and whether or not he would have let Jack die.

Are you stupid? He totally would have let Jack die!

Valerie remembered her history and what she’d read, “Empaths! An Empath was bound to a Werewolf! You can bind him to me, right? How do you do it?”

Lucas took a few steps forward, walked around Val and Jack, and stopped before Rachel. Her head went back, and she swallowed, looking up to him. He reached out a finger, gently placing it under her chin, forcing Rachel to look him square in the eyes.

Rachel flinched, blinking through tears.

“
Take him to the room, Rachel. We will meet you there.” Val could barely hear him as he said, “I know what you love. Do you hear me? It is not Marion, and it is not him. I know of 
her
.”

Rachel nodded jerkily, tears coursing down her cheeks as she stumbled backwards, dropping to the ground. She scooped Jack up in her arms, turning and walking down the hall, opening a door and disappearing inside.

Lucas turned back to Val, enveloping her in his arms. She buried her face against his chest, letting him comfort her, enjoying his solidity and strength. Had he tried to kill Jack? Had he? She knew it mattered, but it felt unimportant.

“
Why did you threaten Rachel? She was trying to help.”

“
Do not trust her. The wolves are not dead. They are healing too. Do you see them?”

She pushed away from him and looked at the animals, saw their chests rising and falling, their wounds shrinking. One of them had its eyes open.

“
They will attack again. They are Cerdewellyn’s, and he is healing them. Listen closely to what I must tell you and then go into that room and wait for me. You cannot bind yourself to Jack, Valerie. The tie must be strong. Only the strongest Empaths could bind themselves to a wolf. You are half Empath at 
best
 and have no notion of your abilities. You cannot bind yourself to him. It would not work.”

She pulled away from him, not touching him at all. “What do you mean, it wouldn’t work?”

“
I mean, that if the wolf was stronger than your ability, he would be no better than a feral animal. If his anchor is strong enough, he will be Jack. Perhaps a little quicker to anger. Stronger and more intense, but the urges will not rule him. He will only succumb to his instincts and change at the full moon. If he binds to you and you are not strong enough, not only could he harm you, but he’d be gone forever.”

“
What’s the other option?” she said and felt like she already knew. Her mind was screaming a warning at her that this was a bad, bad idea. She took a step back. One and then two. Distance. Like she could take a few more steps and go back in time too. How far back would she go? Before Roanoke? Before Hawaii? Before London?

“
Me,” Lucas said.

Valerie laughed—a rattling sound. “Yeah, right. Jack bound to you. How bound would he be? You know how much he hates you. I mean, you 
have
 to know. It’s really frigging obvious. Like he’d rather stab his eyes out than have a connection with you. It would destroy him.” She looked at the ground. Saw her hands fisted, shaking, felt like she needed to sit down. 
No, I need to get to Jack.

“
Being bound to me does not need to affect him negatively. I am strong enough to shut down the connection. He would not feel it. The advantage is that he would not try to kill me anymore. He would be stronger and less likely to die by a vampire’s hands. As long as I live, so would he.”

He’d be at your mercy. 
She shook her head, felt like her head was filled with sand. “Wait. You’re making it seem like this is not a big deal and it is. It must be.”

Lucas looked at her as if she was naïve. 
I hate it when he does that
.

“
There is no other option. It needs to be done immediately, or he will die from his wounds. I can leave him unbound, but if I do, he will be lost to you. He already hates me, nothing of that will change. Would you rather he died? Or bind to you and become feral? Aside from the physical toll it would take on you, would Jack want to live as a beast—unknowingly acting depraved? Committing the sins he's always fought against? That is your decision. He binds himself to me or he dies.”

Valerie looked at him sharply. That sounded like a threat. “No…but there has to be another option. How do you know I can’t—”

She heard a growling sound and turned. Two of the wolves were coming to their feet, stalking closer.

“
Go. I will follow in a moment,” Lucas said, already turning away from her as he went to finish off the wolves. Val hesitated for a moment, looking at them. They were evil. Had almost killed Lucas and Jack. Attacked them. And yet, she looked at them and felt a connection. 
That doesn’t matter. Jack matters.

Val opened the door to the bedroom and saw Rachel inside, standing over Jack. Rachel’s backpack was on the bed, her hand dripping blood, Jack’s lips red with it.

“
Shut the door,” Rachel said agitatedly, throwing her a brief look. “Where is Lucas?” Rachel asked, pouring some herbs into a bowl positioned next to Jack’s head.

“
He’ll be here soon. He said the wolves were still alive.”

Rachel stroked the back of a finger down Jack’s cheek familiarly.

“
He wouldn’t want you to touch him,” Valerie said, even as she knew now was not the time to worry about that.

“
Oh, please.” Rachel rolled her eyes. “There are bigger priorities here. For example, this Werewolf binding is a big fucking problem.”

“
Go on, tell me what you really think,” Val said sarcastically.

“
Okay. Listen, fast. Lucas wasn’t straight with you. You can totally bind yourself to Jack. He’ll be fine, you’ll be fine. Lucas just doesn’t want you to have that connection with Jack. It’s intimate. You’d spend more time with him, care for him, be drawn to him. And he would be drawn to you. You know that’s the last thing Lucas wants.”

If felt like a physical punch. “He’s lying to me?” She knew she was shaking her head. “He wouldn’t do that.” 
Yes, he would.

“
Yeah. He would and he is. I can get the procedure going. I just need some of your blood. You need to distract him for a while, and then you can come back, finish it and, voila, you’ve got the pet you never wanted.”

“
Wait. Why do you care? Lucas will kill you if you do this.”

Rachel looked worryingly at the door. “I’m sort of counting on you making my continued existence part of your demands. Cause yeah, he is definitely thinking of killing me. If Lucas binds himself to Jack, it’s over. Jack will be his bitch for eternity. This is your last chance, and it has to be now. I need ten minutes, tops.”

“
What am I supposed to do? How do I distract him for ten minutes?” This was stupid. There was no distracting Lucas unless she what? Tried to fuck him in the hallway as they rolled around in a pool of cold wolf blood? 
Man, I wish I hadn’t thought that.

Rachel grabbed Val’s hand, and she caught the glint of a knife, felt a sting of burning pain as Rachel cut her flesh open, shoving a cup under her hand to catch the blood. The cup filled quickly— she’d cut deep.

“
Gee, your blood 
does
 smell really good,” Rachel muttered, eyes focused on the gushing blood. “How do you distract him? Are you kidding? You’re an 
Empath
. He’s desperate to get into your artery and you’re 
dripping
 with blood. Give him a taste. I can guarantee you that will distract him for more than a few minutes.”

“
What? 
No
. He said it’s dangerous.”

Rachel set the bowl of blood on the wooden table next to the bed, then closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as she turned back to Val. “You want to know the truth and how much he’s been lying to you, don’t you? 
This
 is your chance. Maybe your only chance.” Her eyes burned into Valerie’s, trying to convince her of her sincerity—and it was kind of working. Val made sure to look at Rachel’s forehead, rather than her eyes, so she wouldn’t be compelled.

“
I need a distraction or he’s going to bind himself to Jack. Nothing except your blood—which is dripping on the floor, by the way—will keep him occupied.”

Val looked down. Shit, she’d bled through the towel. How fucking deep had Rachel cut? Rachel grabbed Val’s wrist, swiping blood from Val’s palm and slapping it on Val’s injury-free hand, then her neck, even her lips before Val could do much more than swear. “I look like fucking Carrie at the prom! Get off me!”

Rachel licked her lips but took a step back. “Yeah, you’ve got a definite birthday cake vibe going on. Go! I need ten minutes, that’s it.”

“
Wait, wait.” 
This is happening way too fast.

“
He’s coming. Now or never!” Rachel went back to the little bowl, stirring the ingredients with her pinky as she started speaking in Latin.

Val opened the door, stepped outside, and shut it behind her. Blood. Her hand still dripped. She wiped her palms together like a satanic version of Patty Cake, noticing how tacky the blood was. Her stomach roiled as if she were on a ship in a choppy ocean.

Lucas came down the hallway and froze. His gaze sweeping her bloody form from head to foot.

I 
am
 a birthday cake!

His clothes were ripped, his hair matted with blood. Dark with it. His injuries were almost healed, and she wondered where he’d been. The wolves were in the same spot, but their heads were chopped off in a clean strike. So why was he coming from down the hall?

“
What happened? Are you all right?” His gaze was riveted on her hand. She knew the moment he breathed in the scent of her blood because he staggered backwards a step. His nostrils flared with desire, and he made a sound— half despair, half longing, then he slapped his hand over his mouth and nose like that would keep him from ripping into her jugular.

This is a big mistake. WWJD? What would Jack do? He’d keep going. Risk death for what was right. Dammit!

“
I’m binding myself to Jack. Rachel is getting it set up,” Val said, studying him carefully.

Lucas looked her over, his gaze roaming her from head to toe. “No. You cannot.”

“
She says I can do it.”

“
She is wrong. Get out of the way. Or I cannot be responsible for my actions. ”The words were a growl.