Love Is in the Air (86 page)

Still, Regina searched his face. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and tugged her farther down the trail. “I want to show you something.” The woman dug in her heels, and her eyes had misted over. Quinton desperately wanted to reassure the woman of his intent but could not yet articulate it to himself. Instead, he hoped she could sense in the tone of his voice that all would end well this night.

“Remember, you said I could drive.”

Even this play on words did not bring a smile to Regina’s face. Quinton gave her hand a squeeze. “Please. It’s important to me.”

The woman sniffled a bit but followed him, although with far less urgency. Quinton thought hard on his feelings. It would not do to have Regina worrying while he meandered through his boggy thoughts. Quinton realized that there was still so much more to tell her about himself. He wanted Regina to make love to him, the whole person, warts and all. Quinton did not want her to share her body with a man she thought she knew, only to find out later how flawed he truly was. Suddenly, it made all the difference in the world to him that she knew his tainted past. He could not kiss her again until the woman knew of his burdened heart.

“Regina. I have to tell you something. This may be hard to hear—”

“Don’t. I know what you mean.” Quinton tried to interrupt, but Regina pulled away from him, crying as she ran back down the path. “Just don’t.”

Quinton rushed after her and caught the woman in his arms. He had expected many reactions but not this one. “Regina, please. Let me explain.”

Tears brimmed in her eyes. “I don’t want to hear it. Not again.”

“Again? Regina, I’ve never told you this.”

The woman began sobbing and shaking so violently that Quinton feared she would fall without his embrace. “Not you. Wayne.”

“Regina. I don’t understand. This has nothing to do with… with him. It’s about me.”

“And how you don’t want to kiss me again. How you don’t want to even touch me again!”

Quinton was shocked. How in the hell had she gotten that impression? For God’s sake, he was so aroused by her that he could barely walk. “No. Never. Regina, please, calm—”

But the woman only became more upset and tried to break free of his arms. There was nothing left to do to quiet her, so Quinton pulled her in tight and kissed her again. He wanted to leave absolutely no doubt in Regina’s mind about his passion for her.

As his tongue probed her lips for a break in Regina’s resistance, Quinton realized something that nearly made him break off the kiss again, but he did not. Regina deserved better than that. Despite his efforts, thoughts still swam in his head. For over a decade he had held Caitlyn in some kind of shrine in his heart. None other could compare to his deceased fiancée. Everything about her had taken on an almost holy glow. The way the young woman had laughed or even kissed. She was perfect in every way. He had thought none other could touch him in the way that she had.

Until now. A part of him had to let go of this idealized version of Caitlyn and admit that Regina stirred his blood and his loins more than his fiancée ever had. Quinton had never given himself over more to a kiss than he had upon the ridge.

That was, until this second kiss. There was no intent behind this gesture than to explain his yearning. He had no other agenda or thoughts beyond this kiss. It was the all. Finally, Regina relaxed in his arms, and it was her turn to pull away slightly. Just far enough so that their lips did not touch, but close enough so that Quinton could feel her breath upon his face.

“I thought you were disappointed in… in my… in me.”

“No,” Quinton said and pulled her close for another kiss, this time gentle and reassuring. “Exactly the opposite. I was feeling… Well, a little too ready…”

Wiping her eyes, Regina settled her head upon his chest. Quinton stroked her hair and let her rest there for a few moments, but he did not want to wait long. He needed to tell her the truth, no matter what her response might be. Quinton only hoped it was not as explosive as the last time he tried to explain.

“Regina. There is something that we have to talk about, though.” Quinton could see the concern in the woman’s eyes and rushed on. “Not about you. You are fine, beautiful, and perfect in any way I could imagine. It’s about me.”

Regina hugged him tightly. “Whatever it is, it can wait.”

Quinton pulled her face up so that he could look into her eyes. “No, it can’t.”

Now that the moment was at hand, Quinton had no idea where to start. With the awkward silence growing, Quinton decided to start with the worst news first. He might as well get it over with.

“Regina. Your husband has paid my company to sign off on the permits.”

“Oh no! When did you find out? What are you going to do about it?”

This was the awful part. “I’ve known about it for months. I helped broker the deal. I set the price that paid for me to rubber-stamp the plans.”

Regina looked like she had been physically hit. He tried not to let her slip from his embrace, but Regina stumbled back a few steps. “No. You would never do something like that…”

It was hard as hell to maintain his honesty, but Quinton knew he could not go back. “I did, Regina. I regret it more than you can ever know, but I did it.”

“How could you?” The woman seemed past her shock and sounded more hurt.

“I didn’t know. This job was just another job… Wayne offered the right price.”

Her voice was quiet and pained. “So he owns you, too?”

“No. Damn it, yes. But not anymore. I swear.”

“Was this another kind of deal you made?” Regina’s voice shook. “Did you do this… this with me to get back at Wayne?”

Quinton gripped her hand tightly and tried to squeeze every ounce of sincerity he had into his tone. “No. That’s why I had to tell you all of this before we… before we went any further. I wanted you to know who I was, and how I changed. The deal with Blue Mountain is off. I’m submitting a negative report to the EPA.”

Regina’s tone was hard and stiff. “That’s easy to say, harder to do.”

Quinton began walking back up the trail. “I’ll take you by the hotel and show you the report on my laptop if you don’t believe me. I’ll never sign another bogus report ever again.”

“Wayne will retaliate. He’ll never let you get away with this.”

Quinton felt near tears. He could not stand the tension between them. He wanted to shower her face with kisses, not argue. “I don’t care what he does or does not do. I only care about us.”

Picking up her other hand, Quinton drew her closer, but Regina held back. “There is no us.”

Taking a chance, Quinton let his tone drop, and he urged his voice to become thick and gravely. He wanted to remind her of the feelings they had just shared. “It felt like it just a moment ago.”

Regina’s tone was painful to hear. “Not anymore.”

Unconsciously, Quinton let the woman’s hands drop away. His distress was a physical reality. Quinton’s stomach ached, and his temples throbbed. How could this evening take such a disastrous turn? How could he salvage the intimacy that they had shared? It was clear that a simple kiss would not heal the wound this time. Regina was hugging herself as tears glistened just on the edge of her eyelashes. He wanted to reach out to her, but was afraid of the reaction.

“I need to get home,” Regina finally said.

“I don’t want it to end like this.”

The woman turned and began hiking back up the trail. Her voice was so quiet that Quinton barely heard her words. “Neither do I.”

Silently they walked side by side but did not touch. It felt strange to be this close and not have a physical connection with her. Quinton’s feelings for Regina had not lessened; if anything they had grown tenfold. To see Regina hurt and know that he was the cause only intensified Quinton’s desire to comfort her. Could she not see that it was her presence—her love—that had changed him? Could she not forgive him for his past?

None of Quinton’s questions were answered as they approached the bonfire. Even the resounding drums of his childhood did nothing to lighten Quinton’s heart. He so badly wanted to apologize again to Regina, but he knew by the set of her shoulders that she was not in the mood to hear it. They bypassed the festivities and headed straight for the parking area. Laughter carried on the wind as they reached Regina’s car.

“The keys?” the woman asked.

Digging in his pocket, Quinton gave the keys back to Regina. There was so much he wanted to say, but she was concentrating on getting the car door unlocked. Quinton placed a palm over her shaking hand. “Let me.”

“I’ve got it,” Regina said abruptly and shoved his hand off hers.

Frustrated, but not knowing what else to do, Quinton backed away as the woman jerked the door open. Her eyes were puffy, and her lips were pulled into a tight line. Her tone left no debate. “Can you get a ride home with someone else?”

Feeling completely defeated, Quinton tried to hide the hurt on his face. “Sure. I can get a lift from Black Feather.”

Regina got into the car, shut the door, and revved the engine in record time. She jammed the car into reverse so hard that the transmission squealed its complaint. Quinton was certain that Regina was going to tear out without another word, but the car window came down.

Voice choked by tears, Regina blurted out, “Thank you for… for telling me before…”

Quinton stepped forward. “Please, Regina, let me explain.”

The woman shook her head violently as her lips trembled. The window was back up, and the car backed out of the parking space before Quinton could say another word.

Suddenly, Quinton was standing there alone. He stood there and watched Regina’s taillights until they blinked out of existence as she rounded the corner. She was gone. Just like that. Not even an hour ago they had been within a hair’s breadth of making love. Now Quinton did not know if he would ever see her again.

Damn, he never should have told her. Everything was going just fine until he had up and ruined the moment. Who cared what his intentions were? He should have kept his mouth shut. But even in this moment of despair, Quinton knew that he could not have done that. Tonight was not about sex or lust. This had been about love, and Quinton knew from experience that it did not always turn out how you wanted.

* * *

Regina could barely see the road through all the tears. Her eyes were nearly swollen shut, and her chest ached from sobbing so much, but still she cried. Regina was not sure if she could ever stop the tears. She was not even sure of what she was crying about anymore. There were too many reasons to choose from.

Despite her anguish, Regina’s body could still remember the heat of the evening and did not want to let go of the feeling. Regina felt torn. She had been on the cusp of breaking her wedding vows. Shattering them, really. Only to find out that the man she thought was sweeping her away from her miserable life was actually as bad as Wayne. Were all men such greedy pigs?

Quinton certainly had more finesse than her husband, but underneath it all, was the stranger really any different from Wayne? It would make life so much easier if Regina could believe that. If she could just throw Quinton into the category of lecherous bastard, Regina could go home and quietly nurse her wounds. Unfortunately, in her heart, Regina knew that the stranger was not so easily pigeonholed. She wanted to hate him, but even during this drive, Regina was worried about what he was doing. How hurt was he? Would he try to contact her again?

Even when her throat had been choked with rage, and she had asked Quinton to find another way home, Regina had secretly hoped that Quinton would refuse and insist on riding with her. Perhaps given the time, they could have helped one another process everything that happened this evening. It was all such a blur that the events were less clear than the road up ahead. Wiping her eyes, Regina realized she was nowhere near home. Somehow she had driven herself over to Natalie’s. The lights were off throughout the house, but Regina knew that she did not want to go home to her own house alone. She could not handle this much pain by herself.

Regina drove up into the Weavers’ circular driveway underneath the huge column-supported awning. She cared little who saw that she was visiting Natalie. The fog that Regina had viewed earlier was thick in this part of town, and the moisture clung to her skin. Knocking at the door, she was surprised to hear Natalie’s voice answer so quickly from the other side.

“Come in. The door’s open.”

Not bothering to wonder why Natalie was home alone with the door unlocked, Regina walked into the foyer. A faint light was coming from the solarium. Walking forward, she came upon Natalie. Only Regina was fairly certain that her younger friend was expecting a slightly different visitor. Looking away, Regina belatedly announced herself. “Natalie, it’s me.”

“Oh, my God! Regina!” Natalie exclaimed as she grabbed at a cover to hide her revealing red teddy. “I thought it was Ralph!” The blonde looked like one of those women on the magazines they kept behind the counter at the liquor store. Regina was beyond blushing, though. Her life was a wreck, and she did not care what kinky games Natalie might be playing with Quinton’s assistant.

“No. Ralph’s at the motel.”

Still scrambling to cover her nearly naked form, Natalie answered hastily, “I know. I was just hoping he might sneak out.”

Regina plopped down on the couch that Natalie had risen from. She was too exhausted to care about observing social protocol.

“You look like shit, honey. What’s happened? Did Wayne find out?” Natalie asked.

Right now that was the least of her worries. Without preamble, Regina spilled the painful contents of the night to Natalie. Every ounce of joy and despair came tumbling out. The blonde took it all in with barely a word. Natalie just rubbed Regina’s back and clucked in a consoling way every now and again. Time’s passage meant little to Regina as she told her story. Ten minutes might have gone by or three hours. She had no idea. Even though Regina feared she might never stop, the tears finally came to an end. They were replaced by wracking dry sobs, but ultimately even those died away. Not even anguish was forever.