Love Is Patient and A Heart's Refuge (15 page)

Alex sighed and dropped into his chair. “Please sit down, Dylan.”

“I can’t stay too long, Dad. Lisa is with me. She’s busy in Gabe’s office right now.”

“Doing what?”

“Trying to find out whatever we can from his computer.”

“Well, I won’t keep you, then.”

And for the first time since he had come home, Dylan got a sense of what his mother was saying. Alex looked beaten. Tired.

“I’ve got to go.” But he stayed where he was, suddenly reluctant to leave. In two days he would be back in Toronto, and then in a few weeks finally free from Matheson Telecom.

What would happen to the company then? Ted didn’t want the responsibilities he had, nor was he capable of carrying them out. His father looked as if he was carrying too much himself. He looked broken and weary.

Dylan thought of pride. His own. His father’s. And he knew what he had to do.

“We’ll talk again, Dad,” he said softly. “I promise.”

“I’d like that,” Alex said, a faint smile pulling on his mouth.

And as Dylan walked back to Gabe’s office he felt as if events were slowly falling more heavily on his shoulders, pushing him in different directions. He had thought he had his life all mapped out before he came here. The company he would be working for was up-and-coming. Not direct competition to Matheson Telecom, but it had the potential to be. He would be in on the ground floor—a fancy term for starting over.

And he would be working the same crazy long hours he had when he first started the Toronto branch, trying to prove to his father and himself that he was worthy.

Was it worth it?

A few days ago he had gone sailing with a woman who was slowly becoming special to him. He was actually building a relationship with someone he cared for.

Because he had taken the time for it.

What would happen to him and Lisa when he left Matheson Telecom? When he immersed himself in a new job? A new place where he had to prove himself all over again.

“Hey, Dylan.”

Dylan spun around as Lisa walked out of his thoughts and into his line of sight. She was smiling. “I got what we came for. I want to have another look at it on the computer at home.”

Dylan looked down at her, his own questions about
her spinning around his mind, melding with the ones about his father.

He didn’t want to go to the computer at home. He didn’t want to think about crooked accountants. Fathers who made mistakes.

Decisions he had to make.

He wanted them to be together as they had been on the boat. As they had been for that magical moment in the gazebo. When all he had to worry about was how often he thought he could get away with kissing her.

Lord, I don’t know what to do. I’m too confused. Too mixed up about my father. My brother.

Lisa.

“Are you okay?” Lisa caught him by the arm and gave it a light shake.

Cast all your anxieties on him.

He certainly had enough to cast.

“Let’s go home,” he said, covering her hand with his.

She nodded and they left.

“Were you able to find anything?” Dylan asked as they got into the car. “You weren’t in there very long.”

“I only needed to copy the most recently used files, and I found those right away.”

“You didn’t want to look at them while you were there anyway?”

“Some of the programs I would need for that were taken off the computer.”

“I’ll be mighty glad when this is all over,” he said, starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot. “I sure hope whatever you’ve got on that disk will finish this once and for all.”

“I was so sure I copied the files properly,” Lisa said, staring at the error message on her computer screen, her heart filling her throat. How could this have happened?

She hit a key, shut down the program and started over again, trying to keep the panic at bay.

Dylan stood beside her, his arms crossed. “Do you remember the names of the files? I could get Dara to e-mail them to us as an attachment.”

“No. I don’t think that would work.” The last thing she wanted was for Dara to know that she had gotten into Gabe’s computer. Especially when Dara had given them the wrong password in the first place. “I think part of the problem is the programs. I might not have the right one on this computer to open it.” She opened up another window, trying to search for a program that might be able to read the file. Still nothing.

Dylan rocked lightly, then picked up the memo again. “You know what would make the most sense?” he said softly.

“What?” Lisa asked, turning to him.

He looked down at her, his mouth lifted in a smile.

Lisa felt the too-familiar push and pull of her longing for him and the reality of their situation.

“If my father would hire an auditor and stop trying to solve this thing internally.” Dylan crouched beside her. “But that won’t happen.”

Lisa looked down at Dylan, resisting the urge to touch him. Her affection for him grew stronger every day. And alongside her changing feelings for him had come a renewal in her faith life. This morning he had
read to her from the Bible, and for a brief and shining moment all was well in her world. She had felt close to him. Close to the Lord. The peace she had been seeking for so long, the love she had been waiting for was all there, surrounding her and holding her up.

But she knew that in the next day or so she had to choose. Obedience, or a relationship that had started with a lie.

“So, we can’t pursue that,” Dylan said, pushing himself up. “Let’s get out of here. I’ve spent too much time here already.”

He reached out to Lisa. She glanced once more at the blank computer screen, hope dying within her.

Tonight she had to find a way to contact Gabe and tell him that she had done all she could for him.

But for now she took Dylan’s hand and let him pull her up into his arms. She allowed herself a moment to enjoy the warmth and strength of his embrace before she pulled away.

Dylan pulled Lisa a bit closer, brushing the top of her head with his chin. “You’re awfully quiet tonight,” he said.

“Most people don’t like to chat when they’re watching a movie,” Lisa murmured, pulling away from him and drawing her sweater around her.

Dylan picked up the remote as the credits of the movie started rolling and turned the television off. “Well, the movie is done—you can chat now.”

“Hard to do on demand.” Lisa curled on her side of the couch, looking everywhere but at him.

During the movie she had been more than content to cuddle up against him. Now that it was over, she had withdrawn as she had this afternoon when they had come back from the office.

He wished they could go back to this morning. That precious moment of connection he had felt with her. Short of pulling out the Bible again, he wasn’t quite sure how to re-create that.

Love is patient.

He knew what he had to do. Let go. Let God. Put everything in His hands. Even Lisa.

“Once we’re back in Toronto, Lisa, nothing has to change between us. Just because you won’t be my secretary anymore doesn’t mean…” He let the awkward sentence lie heavily between them.

Very suave, he thought, repressing a frown. What was it about her that turned him inside out?

Lisa moved closer, pulling one of his hands into hers. She pressed it to her cheek, and hope bloomed in Dylan.

“I don’t deserve this, you know,” she said softly, still avoiding his gaze. “You are the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. This morning…” She paused, her voice catching on the words. She drew in a deep breath and continued. “This morning I felt closer to God than I have since my parents died. This morning I felt a touch of the peace that I knew God could give me.” She looked up at him now. Dylan was shocked to see her eyes brimming with tears. “I want to thank you for that. And for so much more.” She leaned closer to him and touched her lips to his cheek. “You are an amazing
person, Dylan Matheson.” And as she drew away, three faintly whispered words tantalized him.

I love you.

But before he could ask her if he’d heard right, she was off the couch and running down the hallway to the stairs.

“L
isa, please open the door. We need to talk.”

Lisa hunched down on the floor, holding her arms over her head, praying Dylan would leave. She couldn’t talk to him now.

Dylan tried the door, the rattle of the doorknob sending a chill down Lisa’s back. He gave another knock, then stormed off.

Forgive me, Lord,
she prayed. Forgive me, Dylan.

She waited a few more moments, then opened up her cell phone, its outline wavering in her vision. Tears slipped from her eyes as she punched in Gabe’s number. As she clutched the phone to her ear she heard Dylan’s car spinning down the driveway, the sound an angry counterpoint to the shrill ringing of Gabe’s phone.

What had she done?

She had agreed to watch the movie with Dylan only because the girls were going to join them. Then one of the twins’ friends called. Something better was going on
somewhere else, and Amber and Erika were gone. Mr. and Mrs. Matheson had gone out for supper with some friends.

So it was just Dylan and Lisa alone in the house, which had proved to be too intimate. Too dangerous.

She hadn’t meant to tell him she loved him. The words had come out, pushed past the walls she’d been slowly trying to rebuild against him.

Lisa palmed her tears away, sniffing as she willed Gabe to answer. She had to talk to him. Had to connect and remind herself of her main purpose.

“Hello?”

“Gabe, it’s me. Lisa.”

“I’m so glad you called. Did you find anything? What’s the matter? Are you okay?”

“No. Well…yes.” She sniffed.

Her phone beeped in her ear and Gabe’s voice cut off.

“Gabe. Are you there?” Lisa pressed the phone closer.

Nothing. She glanced at the screen. Her battery was dead.

Lisa threw the phone down and pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes as if holding back the confusion of her thoughts. Now what? She needed to talk to Gabe. Tell him what was happening, then confess everything to Dylan.

Gabe. Dylan. Both bounced back and forth, each creating a mixture of emotions.

She loved Dylan.

She had lied to Dylan.

Gabe was innocent.

Lisa jumped off the bed and grabbed her coat. She had to talk to Gabe. This back and forth was wearing her down, confusing her more than anything she’d had to deal with before.

It wasn’t right to keep deceiving Dylan and it was wrong to go against what she knew God wanted for her. But before she told Dylan what was happening, she had to tell Gabe what she was planning.

She slipped downstairs and quickly called a cab, praying one would come before anyone came home. As she opened the door, the shrill ring of the phone echoed through the empty house. Lisa’s heart leaped into her throat.

She didn’t dare answer and quickly stepped outside. The cool evening drizzle dampened her hair and she shivered into her coat. She didn’t want to wait in the house.

Then twin cones of light swept up the drive and Lisa ducked back into the tall shrubs lining the driveway. As the vehicle turned around, relief made her legs weak. It was her cab.

She slipped into the vehicle and gave the driver directions to Gabe’s place. Then she sat back and prayed as the cab drove down the hill, blending into the traffic heading across the inlet.

Vancouver was hard enough to navigate in the dark and the rain. Trying to follow a vehicle made it even harder.

Thankfully the light on top of the cab made it easier to spot.

Dylan knew he’d never make a spy or detective. After
almost losing the cab on Lions Gate Bridge, he opted for staying fairly close, hoping neither the driver nor Lisa would notice him following.

He felt heartsick and ashamed, but Dara’s phone call to his cell phone just before he came home from his aimless drive had fed his own confusion. And when he saw the cab pull out of his parents’ driveway just as he was returning, he knew he had to follow.

The cab finally pulled up in front of a dingy apartment building, and as Dylan drove slowly past the vehicle, he saw Lisa get out, pay the driver and walk over to the doorway. He kept going, pulled in to the nearest alley and turned off his car.

Now what? Follow her again? Try to talk to her again?

He locked up his car feeling more and more foolish, and strode down the wet sidewalk. What if this was all just an innocent mistake? What if the person Lisa was seeing was just an old friend? Maybe even a boyfriend.

I love you.

He was sure he hadn’t imagined that. So why had she run away? Again?

Dylan stopped in front of the doorway Lisa had gone through and looked at the names beside the numbers. Most of them were faded, but one had a fresh name printed beside it. Haskell.

Dylan’s heart dropped like a stone. Dara was right.

“I can prove that Dara put the money into that account, Gabe. I saw on the computer that the money was transferred after you left.”

Gabe leaned back in his chair smiling a tired smile. “If you can’t read the disk, you don’t have proof.”

“I was hoping you could have a look at it.”

“On what?” Gabe waved his hand around the sparse furnishings of the apartment.

Lisa chewed her lower lip, trying to think. “Is there some kind of Internet café around here? They’d have computers.”

“That’s not going to work. I left Matheson Telecom in the morning. If it was set up after I left, and you can get on my computer to prove it, then you might have proof.”

“I doubt I could get in again. If Dara knows I got in, all she would have to do is change the password.”

“Or corrupt the files. I’m surprised she didn’t do that anyway. And you said she’s getting a tech in to clean off the computer tomorrow.” Gabe sighed, leaning back in his chair. “May as well give up, Lisa. Things just aren’t working our way.”

Lisa sank into the chair across from Gabe. “So what do we do?”

“I guess I just take that other job.”

Lisa shook her head and held her hands up. “No. Gabe. Don’t do that.”

Gabe banged his hand against the table, his sudden anger startling Lisa. “You’re so full of advice on what I should and shouldn’t do.” He ground out the words. “You haven’t done a thing for me. Nothing.”

His words shot straight to her heart, plunging in like a knife. “How dare you say that, Gabe?” she asked, squeezing her hands together as if holding back her hurt. “Everything I’ve ever done has been for you,” she
said softly. “Getting the job. Coming out here. Pretending to be Dylan’s girlfriend.” Her voice caught on Dylan’s name.

Silence dropped between them, broken only by the muffled sounds of traffic outside. Feet walking down the hall inside.

Lisa drew in a long slow breath, willing her own erratic emotions to soften. “I’ve put a lot on the line for you, Gabe. More than you can know.”

She felt Gabe’s hands on her shoulders and she reached up to cover one with her own.

“I’m sorry, Lisa. You’re right,” Gabe said.

A light knock at the door was her only warning.

“It’s open,” Gabe called.

And Dylan walked in.

Lisa dropped her hand and pulled away from Gabe, shock sending ice through her veins. Too late. Too late.

The words echoed mockingly through her head as she stood to face Dylan, her red cheeks condemning her more than anything she could say.

Dylan’s eyes flicked from Lisa to Gabe and back again, the dim light of the apartment casting harsh shadows across his face.

“How long has this been going on?” His voice whipped through the air.

Lisa wet her lips, trying to find the right words, the right way to explain her subterfuge. “I’m sorry, Dylan. I should have told you.”

He took a step back, as if trying to keep as much distance between them as possible. “Didn’t your
boyfriend
mind all the time we spent together?”

“No. You’ve got this all wrong.” Lisa held out her hand to him, entreating him, realizing how the scene Dylan had stumbled on must have looked to him.

“Lisa is my stepsister. She came here to help me,” Gabe said, anger edging his voice.

Dylan’s sharp laugh stripped away most of the hope Lisa still held on to. “Why don’t I feel relieved about that?”

Lisa could say nothing in her defense. Nothing that would change the bitter reality of what he was saying. She felt Gabe’s hand on her shoulder. A small comfort.

“Is this why you took the job?”

“I wanted to help my brother. Yes.”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

Lisa fought down the panic that threatened to choke her. She could feel her future crumbling beneath her feet, but even as she struggled to salvage the tiniest step, the anger and betrayal in Dylan’s eyes showed her it was doomed. She said nothing.

“I’ll bring your things tomorrow on my way to the airport.”

The icy finality in his voice cooled any shred of hope she had clung to.

“If it’s okay with you, I would like to come to the house to pick them up. I’ll come after you leave.”

“I don’t want you to bother my family.”

“She just wants to get her stuff, Dylan…” Gabe began.

Though thankful for his defense, Lisa shook her head. “I want to tell your parents and family myself what I did,” she said to Dylan. “I believe I need to confess to them.”

Dylan caught her pleading glance. Hesitated.

“Why did you lie to me, Lisa?”

He was still talking. A flicker of hope. “I had to do it to get the job. To get close to your father,” she said, the truth sounding even more stark spoken aloud.

“All necessary for your role.”

Lisa couldn’t reply; her actions condemned her as much as Dylan’s words did.

“So everything that happened, all the things we shared were fake? Just part of this role you were playing?”

“Those were real, Dylan,” Lisa cried, her heart breaking at the angry hurt in his voice. “I meant everything I ever said to you.”

Dylan lowered his hand, his eyes now cold. Sharp. “All the secret phone calls, the mysterious trips were about helping out someone who stole from the company—the company I’m a part of?”

“I didn’t steal anything,” Gabe snapped. “And if Lisa lied to you, it was because of me. I’m the one you should be angry with. Not her.”

“I wanted to help Gabe,” Lisa said, wishing he could understand at least a small part of her reasons.

Dylan’s gaze stayed on Lisa, his anger directed solely toward her. “You know, I really thought we had something,” he said. “For the first time…” He stopped there.

“I think we did, Dylan.” Lisa fought down her panic at the words they were using.
Had. Did.
Past tense. “I care for you. And I was going to tell you about Gabe. But I had to take care of my brother first.”

“Why?”

Lisa drew some small sliver of hope from even that one word. From the little she knew about Dylan, he didn’t stay to talk when he was angry. He left.

“Gabe is all I have in the world. Everything I’ve ever done has been for him. So when I found out he was fired, I knew it couldn’t be true. And I had to help him.” She willed the right words to come. Prayed for the right thing to say. “Family takes care of family. We help and take care of each other. And make sacrifices.” Lisa took a small step closer to Dylan, holding his eyes, praying he would understand, even though she knew she didn’t deserve even that. “I’ve struggled more than you can know about what to do. I’ve prayed about this….”

“Prayed? Pardon me while I try to work my head around this. You prayed about how you were going to lie to all of us?”

Lisa pressed her hands to her chest, struggling to find the right words.
Please help me, Lord. I know I was wrong, but I’m trying to make this right.

“When I first started working for you, my faith didn’t mean much. So it was easy to deceive you. But going to church with your family, watching them and listening to them brought me back to the faith I used to have. I knew I was wrong, but didn’t know when to tell you.” She felt Gabe come up beside her and lay his hand on her shoulder as if to give her strength. She looked up, holding Dylan’s angry gaze. “I found something precious with your family, Dylan. Their faith is an example to me. But more important, I found something precious with you. When we read the Bible together, for the first time in my life I felt something pure and true
and right happening in my life. I’m not perfect, Dylan. My faith is weak. But I discovered something important in the time we spent together. Something I don’t want to let go of.”

“That seems convenient, Lisa.”

Hurt, she pulled back, closer to Gabe. Her brother. “You know it’s true, Dylan.”

“What do you know about truth? You’re no different than Dara. Actually you’re better. At lying. You certainly had me fooled.”

He spun around and left, the click of the apartment door sounding like a gunshot in the silence.

Dylan rested his hands on the steering wheel of the car, staring at his parents’ house, rain pattering on the roof of the car. His anger had had a chance to cool, but his frustration and mistrust still simmered below the surface.

I trusted her, Lord. I believed in her.

As he trudged up the walk, rain slipping down his neck, he wondered what his next step should be.

Give it all up?

And leave Lisa behind when he left for Toronto tomorrow?

The thought spun through his mind, bringing sorrow and hurt in its wake. But what else was he going to do?

He shook his coat off and hung it in one of the massive cupboards just off the foyer. The house was eerily silent. A thin sliver of light slipped out from under the door of the study and Dylan walked toward it. He didn’t want to be alone.

His father sat in one of the chairs, the light beside him creating an intimate atmosphere.

As Dylan came in, Alex looked up from the book he was reading. “I thought you and Lisa had decided to stay home.”

Dylan sank onto a couch and massaged the back of his neck. “We did. Then we had a disagreement.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know what to say.” He laughed shortly. “I don’t know what to think.”