Read Love Letters: A Rose Harbor Novel Online
Authors: Debbie Macomber
She found Jo Marie in the kitchen.
“I’m not early, am I?”
“Not at all,” the innkeeper assured her. “Are you ready for a cup of coffee?”
“More than ready.” Ellie didn’t feel like herself in the morning until she had a cup of coffee.
“There’s fresh-squeezed orange juice set out on the table, along with blueberry muffins.”
“My favorite,” Ellie said, heading in that direction. Happy as she felt, she nearly skipped into the other room.
“I’m fixing cream cheese–stuffed French toast this morning,” Jo Marie called out after her.
“Juice and muffins are all I need,” Ellie said. It wasn’t a good idea to go out on Puget Sound with a full stomach. She wasn’t sure if she was prone to seasickness or not, but it wasn’t worth taking the chance.
After a couple moments, Jo Marie joined her in the breakfast room. “I suspect the Porters won’t be down for quite some time yet,” she said.
Ellie sat and poured herself a glass of orange juice.
“Did everything go well last night?” Jo Marie asked.
Ellie couldn’t have held back a smile any more than the little Dutch boy could have held back the water from a leak in the dam. “It was an amazing night. After dinner we went to a movie and then we walked along the waterfront and went for coffee at the Pancake Palace and talked and talked and talked. We’ve spent part of nearly every day communicating in one form or another; you’d think there wouldn’t be much left for us to say.”
“But you did?”
“Yes. It shocked us both when we saw it was midnight.”
A faraway look came over the innkeeper, as if her thoughts had drifted to another time and another place. “It was like that when Paul and I first met.”
Ellie remembered hearing, although she couldn’t remember who’d mentioned it, that Jo Marie was a widow. Perhaps it was the handyman she’d chatted with briefly the day before.
“So you know what it’s like to meet someone and know right away that he might possibly be the one?” Ellie asked.
Jo Marie nodded. “I do. Paul and I met at a Seahawks game.”
“Do you enjoy watching football?” Ellie asked. She had never been excited about the sport until she’d learned that Tom had played football in high school and college. He was on the wait list to get Seahawks season tickets. It went without saying that if their relationship continued—and she prayed it would—she’d need to learn the basics of the game. Already Tom had volunteered to tutor her.
“Both Paul and I were football fanatics,” Jo Marie said, and then, as if it was painful to talk about the husband she’d lost in Afghanistan, she changed the subject.
“The Sounders are Seattle’s soccer team, and a lot of folks attend those games as well. I’ve never been, but I’ve heard it’s quite an experience.”
While talking over coffee the night before, Tom had mentioned the Sounders and his hope that one day they’d be able to see a game
together. Ellie was willing to give it a try, never having attended a professional sporting event.
“Tom’s athletic,” Ellie said, taking the first bite of her muffin. It was delicious, far and away better than any she’d ever tasted. “Wow, these are great.”
“Oh thanks. I got the recipe from a friend of mine, Peggy Beldon. The blueberries came from her garden, which reminds me, I need to pick up blueberries at the farmers’ market today.”
Ellie would love to visit the market, with its booths displaying homemade crafted goods, fresh fruit, and vegetables. She hoped they’d be back in time from their boating trip so she’d get the chance. She’d ask Tom about it.
Glancing out the window, Ellie saw Tom’s car pull into the parking area by the inn. She looked at her watch and saw that he was a few minutes early, which told her he was as eager to see her as she was to see him.
Rover must have heard the car door close, because the dog hurried to the front door.
“It’s Tom,” Ellie explained. “He’s a bit early.”
“Invite him in for breakfast,” Jo Marie told her. “I’ve got plenty.”
What a thoughtful thing to do. “I will, thank you.”
Tom hadn’t made it up the front steps before Ellie opened the door. For just an instant they stood and stared at each other as if even now it was impossible to believe they were together.
He broke the trance first. “Morning.”
“Good morning. Come on in. Jo Marie invited you to have coffee and a blueberry muffin. They’re really good.”
“Great. I was in such a rush to get here and didn’t take time to eat breakfast.”
Ellie had felt that same happy anticipation.
Tom joined her at the table, and she noticed that he had dark lines beneath his eyes. “Didn’t you sleep well?” she asked.
“I didn’t,” he admitted. “I was up practically the entire night.”
“Is something troubling you?” she asked.
His smile seemed forced as he shook his head. “Not a solitary thing.” Then he wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and touched her forehead to his own.
Something was troubling him, something he didn’t want to tell her, and Ellie didn’t have a single clue what it might be.
Roy was still asleep when Maggie woke Saturday morning. Their argument from the afternoon before kept circling in her mind. Years ago, while they were college students, Roy had written her a love letter. She’d kept it all these years and reread it from time to time. His letter had been the turning point in their courtship.
At the time they’d been dating steadily and were deeply in love. Maggie could easily see them marrying one day after she graduated. Roy had met her parents and she’d met his. The future seemed pretty much decided for them. Then Roy had gone out with some friends from his frat house. He’d told her it was a poker match and that he needed “guy time.”
It wasn’t a big deal until pictures of Roy with a couple of nearly naked women had turned up on the Internet. Apparently, there’d
been very little card playing that night, and then through the grapevine Maggie learned that this little “get-together” with the guys had happened at a local strip club. And it wasn’t the first time.
As far as Maggie was concerned, the incident settled their future. Roy wasn’t the man she’d thought he was. When the Internet photos made the rounds on campus, Maggie had been deeply embarrassed and equally saddened. She really didn’t feel she could marry a man who got his thrills in strip clubs. The fact that he’d lied to her about what he’d be doing raised a huge red flag.
They’d argued. Roy claimed it was all in fun and didn’t mean anything. As for the lie, it was a little white one he told so she wouldn’t get upset. In actuality, he was protecting her. It didn’t mean anything; he was letting off steam after cramming for his finals. He downplayed his role as if it meant nothing and she was making an unnecessary fuss. His friends weren’t having problems with their girls, so Maggie should be willing to let it go, too. Yes, the photos were embarrassing, but all the hoopla would die down soon enough.
Maggie had been shocked by his attitude. He simply didn’t get it. In his eyes, he’d done nothing wrong. It was all supposed to be in fun. His rationalization had stunned her. Rather than argue, she knew what she had to do, and that was to end the relationship. To that point, it was the hardest decision she’d ever made. With tears in her eyes, she broke up with Roy.
At first he didn’t believe she meant it. He sent her flowers and met her after class, sang to her in public, and bought her a huge teddy bear. It took almost a month for him to realize she was serious. It about killed her to walk away, but she felt she had no choice. Roy had showed her a side of himself that she could never condone or accept.
Then Roy’s letter arrived. He didn’t use flowery language or attempt to convince her to reconsider their breakup. He’d basically written to say good-bye.
Dear Maggie
,
I hope you’ll read this letter. It’s taken me nearly a month to write it. I’ve forgotten what version this is, not that it matters. What is important is that you believe me when I tell you that I mean every word
.
When you broke up with me, I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t sure what I thought. You were angry. I understood that
.
Frankly, I was angry, too. Those pictures embarrassed me, but I didn’t let anyone know because it was too important for me to be cool about it. So I pretended it wasn’t any big deal, only it was. It was a very big deal
.
It took me a couple weeks to realize you were serious about breaking up with me. We were finished. That made me angry, too, and then sad and sick with what I knew I’d lost. I wasn’t easy to live with during that time. In fact, if it wasn’t so close to graduation, I think I might have gotten kicked out of my fraternity
.
You’re well aware of everything I did to get you to change your mind. You stood by your word, though, and that took courage and determination on your part. I assumed, at first, that you were simply being stubborn. It took me far longer than it should have to realize there was much more involved than your pride
.
When all my efforts to convince you to take me back failed, I was at a loss. It was time for soul searching. I spent a lot of time in my room, basically feeling sorry for myself, before it hit me what you’d been trying so hard to get through this thick head of mine
.
You love me … loved me, past tense. I screwed that up for good and I don’t have anyone to blame but myself. I know you’ve moved on and are dating other guys now and I accept that. It’s what I deserve
.
The point of this letter is to say I get it now. I understand
why you made the decision you did, and I realize it couldn’t have been any easier for you than it was for me. I lied to you about where I was and what I was doing. Not just that one night but multiple times. It’d seemed innocent enough. What you didn’t know wouldn’t hurt you. I was with the guys and we were doing what guys do, which is stupid, I know. But it’s far more than me misleading you into believing I was playing poker. It’s a matter of character. You expected more of me and I failed us both
.
In a few days I’ll graduate and be leaving WSU to join my dad in his construction business. Thank you for everything, Maggie, and I mean that. You’ve encouraged me to be a better man, a man of integrity and principle. The kind of man who would make a good husband and father, the kind of man you deserve. You are wise not to accept anyone less
.
These have been painful lessons because of the high price I paid to learn them. They cost me losing you
.
It’s unlikely that we will see each other again, and that’s probably for the best. And while it’s hard to accept your decision, I want to thank you. It might not mean anything to you now, but it’s important that you know I genuinely love you. I will always love you. If at any time you need help
,
I’ll come. You can count on me
.
If you’ve gotten this far in reading my letter, then I want to thank you for taking the time
.
Good-bye, my love
.
Forever yours
,
Roy
When the letter had first arrived, Maggie had read it through four or five times without stopping, taking in every word, soaking it into her heart. Then she’d started to weep. Her friends didn’t know what had happened or what Roy could have said to cause this reaction.
He had no idea how miserable she’d been, how heartbroken. Maggie had contacted him and they had sat in Starbucks for two hours talking. Following their talk, Maggie felt that Roy had been sincere. He’d meant what he’d said in his letter. Even then, Maggie wasn’t sure reconciling would be right for either of them, and said so. When they left the Starbucks, they’d gone in opposite directions. As she left Roy, Maggie had a change of heart. She loved Roy and he loved her. She wanted them to try again. By the time she reached Roy, she was astonished to find that he had tears in his eyes. He didn’t speak, and she didn’t, either. They simply reached for each other and hugged, both weeping, overwhelmed with emotion. By the end of the summer, following graduation, they were engaged.
Roy’s letter had changed everything. If ever she needed reassurance of his love it was now, which was why she’d brought the letter with her on this trip.
Her husband stirred and he rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.
“Morning,” Maggie whispered, and bent down to kiss him.
He moved his head so that her lips bounced against his cheek instead of his lips. So that was the way it was going to be. She stiffened and climbed out of bed.
Bracing herself, she decided she had no option but to face this head-on. “You told me yesterday that you didn’t want to talk about what happened.”
“You’re right, I don’t.” His words were unyielding, as if written in stone.
“I don’t, either …”
“Good, then it’s a closed subject.” He rolled over and presented her with a clear picture of his back.
Maggie debated how far she should press the matter. It was clear that unless they addressed this open wound, their marriage would never heal, never recover. It would be only a matter of time before it disintegrated entirely.