Love & Loss (18 page)

‘But I thought she was the love of his life.’

‘Who’s to say she wasn’t? Or that she still isn’t? You can love more than one person in a lifetime. What he has with this new lady may be love, but it won’t be the same as the love he had with your Mum. Be happy for him Gabe, I’d hate to think after eleven years without me you were still alone and pining after me. I’d want you to have someone else to love you and look after you. You wouldn’t want that for me?’

‘I can’t bear the thought of anyone else touching you Mia,’ he sighed pinching the top of his nose as he frowned.

‘But it wouldn’t be the same Gabe. What I feel for you is … I have no words. No one will ever compare, but to live a life without you, without someone else to help me get through each day, I don’t think I could do it. You’re my one in a centillion.’

‘A centillion?’

‘It’s the biggest number they’ve come up with,’ I giggled.

‘I like that,’ he smiled as he rolled to look at me and sighed. ‘I want him to be happy, I really do, it was just such a shock that’s all.’

‘I can imagine, but look at me with Gerry, we get on so well. No one’s ever going to replace your Mum Gabe, but it doesn’t mean you can’t get to know her and maybe even like her.’

‘She’s joining us tonight for dinner,’ he said with a roll of his eyes. ‘So I guess we’ll see then.’

‘Really? Wow. I’d better go and start getting glammed up then. Are you going to be ok?

‘I will be baby, thank you, you’re so sweet with me.’

‘Because you’re the love of
my
life Gabriel Austin and don’t you ever forget it,’ I smiled and clasped his face as I kissed him softly. He rolled over me, sweeping the hair away from my face and tracing his finger down my nose and around my lips.

‘And you’re mine. I’d love to make love to you now, but we don’t have time. I’m going to when we get home, slowly and gently and I’m going to make you come so many times you’ll beg me to stop.’

‘That’s a promise I’m going to hold you to,’ I replied as I looked up into his dazzling sincere blue eyes.

‘Go or I’ll keep you in here for the rest of the holiday,’ he sighed as he threw himself back onto the bed.

When I came out of the bathroom at just after seven, I’d put on my black and crystal dress, garter, and my black and hot pink underwear and crystal shoes. I’d done some grey and silver eye shadow with black liner and tucked my hair into a loose sexy chignon, that I knew he loved. I found him standing in front of the lounge glass wall staring at the city looking sombre. He was looking very sexy dressed in his dark grey suit three piece suit with a white shirt and black tie.

‘Hi,’ I called as I crossed the floor.

‘Hi,’ he replied as he looked me up and down. ‘Huh, you’re wearing that dress again,’ he said with a slight puzzled frown. I stopped in my tracks, wasn’t he happy with it? He must have seen the look on my face as he strode towards me and tilted my head up. ‘You look beautiful in it, I’m just surprised. I thought most women never wore the same dress twice.’

‘Gabe it’s very extravagant to do that, it was expensive and I love it, so I’ll keep it and wear it again many times. Anyway, can I tell you how gorgeous you look?’

‘Thank you.’

‘How are you feeling about meeting … I don’t know her name.’

‘Sofia. I think she’s Italian,’ he shrugged. ‘We may as well head down baby.’

I took another sideways glance at him, he didn’t look that happy about it at all. Antonio dropped us off at the restaurant and Robert was waiting outside with his arm around the waist of a tall slender lady with jet black hair. I studied her as he made the introductions, she was definitely foreign with her olive skin tone and her dark chocolate eyes. Her hair was sleek and shiny and cut in a sharp bob showing off her killer cheek bones. She was very attractive, but I couldn’t help but compare her to the picture of Gabe’s Mum and was pleased that Tabby was even more stunning. I hoped that would make it easier for him. Everyone was very polite, but I could feel some simmering tension and it all felt a little awkward as we shook hands and kissed cheeks. Robert ushered us in and I squeezed Gabe’s hand tightly as I mouthed ‘
Ok?’
to him and he replied with a sharp nod, he was just placating me. I was going to have to try to make this easier for him.

I steered the conversation to Sofia, asking her all about herself as Robert ordered champagne and caviar to start. She volunteered that she was thirty eight, divorced with no children and lived on the Upper East side. I’d seen enough episodes of Sex and the City on repeat to know that was a very affluent area, so she at least it seemed she wasn’t after Robert for his money. I squeezed Gabe’s hand under the table and asked him what he thought of the neighbourhood to try and get him to talk. I was incredibly embarrassed to find I hated the caviar, I knew it was expensive but I just couldn’t eat it and Robert laughed at the face I made on trying my first spoonful.

‘It’s ok Mia, it’s not for everyone.’

‘I’m so sorry Robert, I know how expensive it is,’ I blushed apologetically as I forced myself to swallow and shuddered.

‘Don’t worry, all the more for the rest of us,’ he smiled.

Sofia asked Gabe about how long we’d been together and how we’d met and at last he started opening up and talking. I looked at him, touched to see how animated and happy he was to talk about the two of us, finishing by turning my head and planting a kiss on my lips. Finally the table felt a bit more relaxed. Gabe let me order for him again, so I chose the yellow fin tuna with foie gras and the pan roasted lobster.

‘Please will you excuse me for a while,’ I said standing and putting my napkin down, smiling as Robert and Gabe stood up.

‘Of course Mia. Not joining her today Gabriel?’ Robert asked with a hint of a smile on his face.

‘Dad,’ Gabe protested, flashing him a disapproving look, making me giggle.

‘I’ll join you if you don’t mind Mia, excuse me gentlemen,’ smiled Sofia as she rose too and accompanied me to the ladies. As I stood washing my hands she smiled at me in the mirror, as she did hers.

‘Thank you Mia, for trying to make this easier for Gabriel and I. I was incredibly nervous.’

‘You’re welcome. Please don’t take his quietness personally, he only found out about you today and he was a bit shocked. He’ll come around when he realises that his Dad’s happy.’

‘I’ve been telling Robert for months that he should tell him. I wasn’t happy him dropping it on him today, the first time we were meeting. We had quite an argument about it earlier.’

‘I’m sorry. It’s been a really difficult few months for Gabe and he’s actually only just started therapy about his Mum’s death and I’m sure Robert told you about his accident and him suffering with some post-traumatic stress?’ Sofia nodded with a concerned smile. ‘I’m sure Robert would have told him about you sooner if he felt it was right. How long have you been together?’

‘We met at a party last New Year’s eve, so nearly a year.’

‘And you’re happy?’

‘Very much so, he’s a very intelligent and caring man. I know I’ll never replace Tabitha in his eyes, but I’d like to think I can try to make him as happy as he’s made me. My ex-husband was rather a womaniser, which I only found out rather late in our marriage,’ she said with a rueful smile.

‘Well I’m sure you have no worries with Robert straying. Like father like son, they’re both very loyal and moralistic about things like that,’ I said with a reassuring smile.

‘Then we are lucky girls to have found them. Please don’t feel pressured to say yes Mia, but Robert has two tickets to see the Knicks play at Madison Square Gardens on Saturday night and it’s really not my thing. How would you feel about Gabe going with him instead of me? We could go out for cocktails to get to know each other and meet them later and all go onto a club.’

‘I think Gabe would love that, I know he misses his Dad. You both go clubbing?’

‘Don’t look so surprised,’ she laughed. ‘We’re still relatively young. Wait until you get to my age, you’ll still feel in your teens I promise you.’

‘Then if Gabe’s happy I’d love to do that. I won’t be able to drink though, isn’t it twenty one for drinking over here?’

‘You can’t buy the drinks Mia, but as your legal guardian for the night I can buy them and you can drink them under my supervision,’ she smiled.

‘Then we’re on,’ I giggled.

We re-joined the table in time for our meal and agreed on our plan for Saturday and it was nearly midnight when we all bundled into the Merc. Antonio dropped Gabe and I off first and I was pleased to see him lean in to kiss Sofia goodnight without a prompt.

It was 2 a.m. when we finally got back in, after a trip up the Empire State Building and a hot chocolate on the way back and we hopped in the shower to warm up.

‘Are you really ok about Sofia?’ I asked as I wrapped my arms around his neck as the water cascaded down over us.

‘I will be,’ he sighed. ‘I just wish he’d told me sooner, given me time to adjust before forcing a meeting on me.’

‘I don’t think you’d have found it easy any time Gabe, no one would expect you to, but they seem really happy together. If it helps she told me she knows he’ll never love her the way he did your Mum, but she really cares for him.’

‘He seems happier than I’ve seen him in a while as well.’

‘Well you can grill him on Saturday night. I wish I was coming.’

‘You’d have wanted to see the Knicks play?’ he asked surprised.

‘Hell yeah, with one of those massive hot dogs and a root beer and popcorn. I’d love to see the Yankees as well. I may not be a massive sports fan, but I can imagine the atmosphere in those stadiums would be incredible.’

‘Then next time we come I’m booking tickets,’ he grinned.

‘Next time?’

‘We can come on Dad’s plane and stay in his apartment whenever we want, we have an open invitation.’

‘O God Gabe, I’d love to bring Lexi one time, she’d absolutely love it.’

‘Maybe we could come out together, all four of us, but for now I’d like to focus on the two of us and all those orgasms I promised you,’ he murmured as he bent into kiss my neck.

‘Thank God I thought you’d forgotten,’ I sighed as I tilted my head and closed my eyes.

‘Never baby.’

I woke up to the smell of maple syrup and hopped out of bed, groaning at my aching muscles and slight hangover. Gabe had kept me awake until 4 a.m. keeping his promise to me and I was really feeling it. I pulled on his discarded white shirt from last night and headed into the kitchen to find him.

‘How are you so awake and with it,’ I moaned as I kissed him.

‘I didn’t have six orgasms last night,’ he smiled proudly.

‘Hmmm there is that. Happy Anniversary Mr Austin,’ I grinned as I hopped up onto the counter to watch him making waffles.

‘Happy Anniversary Miss Page. I have a gift for you, but I’d rather wait for our meal tonight if that’s ok?’

‘Sure, what’s our plan today?’ I asked, frowning. He looked tense again this morning.

‘We’ve going ice skating at the Rockefeller Centre at eleven then I thought we could have a walk around Central Park and walk back down Fifth Avenue as you haven’t seen all the shops at that end. Then we have dinner tonight.’

‘Ice skating?’ I asked excitedly. I’d always dreamt of doing that in New York at Christmas, I loved that he didn’t mind doing all the touristy things with me.

‘Yes, you’re not going to tell me you’re a pro at that are you?’

‘I’m pretty good, dance training and all. Where are we eating tonight? What’s the dress code?’ I asked.

‘Nearby. Smart again.’

‘Ok,’ I nodded, biting my lip to stop myself commenting on the expense of it. ‘You ok? You seem a bit tense today.’

‘Do I? Sorry maybe it’s just lack of sleep,’ he replied kissing my forehead and pulling me down off the counter as he served up. He hadn’t even commented that I looked sexy, which he always did when I was wearing his shirt.

We dressed warm again and headed out and I refrained from telling him off when I realised he’d book VIP tickets for the ice rink to avoid the queues. He seemed to lighten up as I held his hand and taught him how to skate.

‘Wow I’ve finally found another thing Gabe Austin can’t do,’ I laughed as he fell over for the fourth time.

‘It’s only my second time,’ he grumbled as he tried to get up and went down again.

‘Grab my hand,’ I said extending it to him, hauling him up.

‘And what do you mean by “another thing,”’ he asked.

‘Singing,’ I shrugged.

‘Well yes, I’m pretty shit at singing, but how do you know that?’

‘You tried wooing me with Boyz II Men’s “I’ll make love to you” that night you were hammered with your Dad back home.’

‘Really?’ he looked at me in amazement.

‘O yeah,’ I nodded and burst out laughing.

‘And you found it funny,’ he frowned.

‘It
was
funny, you didn’t hit one note right and were slurring most of the words, but it was also really sweet and adorable and I loved it,’ I replied and kissed him. ‘Come on, hold my hand and we can go around together.’

‘You go and do a few laps without me, I’m slowing you down.’

‘I want to stay with you.’

‘Please Mia, I’d like to watch you, I’ll wait here at the edge.’

‘You’re sure?’

‘Yes, go for it, but no showing off with triple axles or whatever.’

I shook my head, led him to the side and kissed him before skating off. I weaved in and out of the less experienced skaters, enjoying the rosy glow on my cheeks as I sped around, waving to him each time I zipped past and on the sixth go I came skidding to a halt at his side, flakes of ice spurting up the sides of my skates, with a big smile on my face. ‘That was
awesome
, I’d forgotten how much I enjoy that.’

‘You look amazing out there, so confident and graceful,’ he said pulling me into him for a deep luscious kiss.

‘Come on, I’m not going round again without you. I’ll teach you if it kills me.’ I tried not to giggle as he wobbled holding my hand, it seemed to have wounded his pride that I was better than him, but another thirty minutes later and he was getting the hang of it and managed a circuit without falling over.

‘Next time we come I’ll keep up with you,’ he grumbled.

We eventually got off and warmed up with a hot chocolate and cookies before exploring the centre then browsing the shop windows and I groaned in front of the Jimmy Choo store.

‘Get some,’ Gabe said as he saw me eyeing up a gold pair for over $800.

‘They’re too expensive, I can’t justify that on a pair of shoes.’

‘I’ll get them for you.’

‘No you won’t,’ I glared. ‘That’s just madness.’

‘Call them an anniversary gift.’

‘Gabe it’s three months, it’s not
that
special an occasion.’

‘You don’t think three months is worth celebrating?’ he glared back, stiffening up.

‘I didn’t mean it like that, of course it is Gabe. It’s my longest relationship, I just mean you normally only celebrate annual anniversaries with gifts once you’re married and $800 is a lot of money.’

We had a rather heated debate over it, with me striding off and him running to follow me. We spent most of our walk around the park in silence. I decided I was going to make him have a sleep when we got home. Dr Jarvis had warned that getting over tired could affect his moods.

‘What time do I need to be ready tonight?’ I asked as we walked into the Penthouse.

‘Eight. I’ll get ready in Dad’s room so you have the bedroom and bathroom to yourself.’

‘Thanks, come on it’s nearly five. Let’s go and have a couple of hours sleep, we’re both tired.’

‘I’m fine. Do you want a drink before you go?’

‘No I’m good thanks.’ I looked at him and realised I’d need to change tack to try and get him into bed. I headed to the bedroom and stripped down to my underwear. I had my red lacy set on that he loved so much. I set my phone alarm for quarter past seven and ruffled up my hair, slicked some Vaseline on my lips and went and leaned on the bedroom door frame and watched him, sitting on the sofa looking out of the window with his tea.

‘So you really don’t want to come to bed?’ I called. He looked over and I saw him react as his eyes raked up and down my body, still tanned from my spa weekend with Lexi. He flicked his tongue over his lips and put his tea down and subconsciously grabbed his crotch.

‘I thought you wanted to sleep,’ he said hoarsely, not taking his eyes off my chest.

‘Well you’re the best insomnia cure Gabe. Are you just going to sit there staring or join me?’

‘Come here,’ he ordered and patted his knee. I shook my head, turned and winked at him over my shoulder as I sashayed back into the bedroom, hoping he’d follow me. I lay in the middle of the bed on my back, propped up on my elbows waiting and it didn’t take long for him to appear, stripping off his jumper and t-shirt in one easy move to reveal his toned torso. I closed my eyes and groaned, I wanted him so badly, but I knew it would get him all worked up and we’d never sleep, so I decided to stick to my plan. I watched as he dropped his jeans and boxers and crawled over me on all fours.

‘O baby you look so sexy. I love this set,’ he sighed as he traced his finger along my stomach, from hip to hip where the lace stopped and my flesh began.

‘I know you do,’ I said taking him by surprise and flipping him onto his back quickly straddling him. ‘I think it’s my turn to take charge,’ I added putting my fingers over his lips as he went to protest. ‘I want to do two things for you.’

‘What?’

‘First a slow blow job,’ I winked and slowly worked my way down his body, running my lips over every inch of his perfect flesh. It didn’t take him long to flood my mouth with a loud groan.

‘You’re too good,’ he sighed as I sat back on my heels and smiled down at him. ‘Give me a minute and I’ll be good to go again.’

‘Actually, there’s something I’ve wanted to try for ages and I want you to promise to do it with me, my second thing I offered.’

‘Name it,’ he smiled.

‘I want to spoon you so I can cuddle you and have you to go to sleep in my arms.’

‘
What?
’

‘That’s what I want Gabe, you always hold me, you rarely let me do it to you,’ I said.

‘Are you serious? You just want to cuddle? What about sex?’

‘I can have sex later, right now I want you to have a sleep. You’re really tense and on edge today, I want you to relax and be in a happy mood for later. It’s our anniversary and I don’t want you to still be grumpy. Please do it Gabe, cuddling can be just as intimate as sex. Do it to please me.’ I lifted his hand and kissed his fingers as I fluttered my eyelids at him.

‘You think I’m grumpy?’ He looked at me surprised.

‘Well you’ve been in better moods. You said to name it, this is what I want. Don’t you want to please me?’ I asked, turning the question he often asked me around on him.

‘All the time baby,’ he sighed knowing he couldn’t win this one.

‘Get under the covers then,’ I ordered and he did as he was told.

‘I told you that you’ve got me wrapped around your little finger,’ he said softly, reminding me of our two month anniversary where he’d been so pissed off at me taking him on a surprise date and paying. I tucked in behind him, pressing my chest and hips against his smooth back and bottom and curled my knees up into his before sliding a hand under his arm to hold him around the chest. I kissed the back of his neck and shoulder and felt him kiss my forearm.

‘Now sleep baby, I’ll wake you up when it’s time to get ready. I love you Gabe.’

‘I love you too Mia,’ he sighed. I stayed holding him, listening to his breathing slow as I kept laying gentle kisses on him and snuggled up even closer and smiled as I felt him drift off and followed him soon after.

I was still holding him as the alarm went off and went to move my hand to turn it off and he grabbed it.

‘Don’t go,’ he sighed. ‘This is nice. Can we lie here a bit longer?’

‘Sure, let me turn it off though.’ I reached behind and silenced the ringing and moved back kissed his neck and put my fingers into his hair and gently massaged his scalp and he let out a contented little sigh. I smiled happily, he felt more relaxed, he was always so busy looking after me, this was nice. I wondered if any woman had ever held him and made him feel safe, loved and secure since his Mum died and figured probably no one had, which made me clutch him even tighter and kiss his shoulder again. ‘You’re my favourite boyfriend ever Gabriel Austin. I love you and I love taking care of you. Let me do it more often,’ I whispered.

‘If it makes me sleep that well I will. Thank you,’ he replied lifting my hand and kissing it.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

‘What?’

‘About what had you tense in the first place?’

‘Nothing,’ he shrugged and wriggled out of my arms and headed to the bathroom. I mentally kicked myself, I’d just chilled him out and then gone and ruined it by prodding him too quickly. I couldn’t think of anything I’d done to upset him and I wondered if it was still over meeting Sofia. He strode out of the bathroom, still naked and semi erect and I propped myself up in bed to look at him, trying to gauge his mood. ‘Bathroom’s all yours. I’ll grab my clothes and get out of your way. See you in the lounge at ten to eight?’

‘Ok.’

‘Do you want a drink? Dad has a stocked cabinet.’

‘I’d love a glass of white wine if he has something that’s not too expensive?’ I asked. Gabe just laughed and shook his head.

‘Everything he has is expensive Mia, but he won’t mind. I’ll put it on the bedside table for you.’ He stood watching as I peeled the duvet back and stood up, still dressed in my red underwear and I watched as his eyes darkened. I tiptoed over to him and cupped him in my palm and nuzzled in his ear.

‘I’m looking forward to some anniversary playing later. I can still remember our first time up against the wall, it was
very
hot.’ I heard a low groan escape his throat and felt him stiffen in my hand before he swung me around, pinning me to this bedroom wall with my hands above my head as he put his forehead on mine and pierced me with his eyes.

‘
Exceptionally
hot and I’ll make it even hotter later. We won’t be making love this time, but neither will there be any toys, or games. It’ll just be straight up fucking baby.’

‘O God,’ I groaned, closing my eyes and he leaned in and kissed me making my skin tingle.

‘Go and get ready,’ he ordered, releasing my hands and slapping my bottom. ‘I want that body in something sexy that I can slowly take off.’

I walked slightly unsteadily to the bathroom and blew him a kiss as I closed the door. I emerged forty minutes later with freshly painted sparkling black nails, tumbling tresses and a hint of highlighter on my cheekbones and cupids bow with just mascara and a very thin line of black eyeliner.  I knew he preferred me to have less make up on. I sipped some wine before I slipped into my black and red Basque, back to front so I could do it up, then nearly had an asthma attack as I struggled to twist and pull it around with the laces at the back. I put on my suspender belt, lace stockings and crotchless knickers. I had a black bandeau dress, cut just above the knee with a panel of white lace around the midsection and a black ribbon belt and topped it with my lace heels and bag and some silver jewellery. I headed out into the lounge a few minutes early with his gift and there was no sign of him.