Love & Loss (32 page)

‘I’m not being unfair am I?’ I asked as I looked at them both. ‘I don’t check his phone, why should he check mine?’

‘I wouldn’t do that with Lex, but this is Gabe we’re talking about and given his current situation …’ Doug stalled and shook his head.

‘I thought he was on the mend,’ I sighed. ‘He’s been doing so much better, I mean he even invited Milo to my birthday meal.’

‘Yeah that really took me by surprise,’ agreed Lexi.

‘My idea,’ Doug advised. ‘He wasn’t happy about it, but I told him it was a group setting and you’d appreciate it. I didn’t tell him I’d already tracked Milo down at the gym and invited him, but luckily he relented.’

‘Doug,’ I sighed. ‘You’re so good with him.’

‘Hey he’s my best mate and the last thing I want is to see the two of you apart again, my lip’s only just healed,’ he laughed as he pointed at it. I laughed and kissed his cheek and saw Robert and Gabe get out of the limo and walk towards us, Robert’s hand on Gabe’s shoulder as they talked. I looked nervously at him as they approached.

‘Sorry everyone, I was rude back there, please don’t let it ruin our last night with Dad?’ he asked and looked at me, equally nervously. I stepped over to him and took his hand and kissed him quickly.

‘Thank you, apology accepted, come on let’s go eat. I’m ashamed to admit that I’m hungry again.’ Everyone laughed and I looked at Robert and mouthed ‘
Thank you’
at him and he nodded. I bit my lip and put on my best fake smile as the Red head Chelsea came over quickly to greet us as we stepped out of the lift. I really didn’t like that woman. She obviously knew Robert well as he kissed her on both cheeks and enquired how she was. Her sideways glances at Gabe didn’t go unnoticed, by me or the others judging by the look on Doug and Lexi’s faces and I excused myself and headed to the toilets. When I went to wash my hands Lexi was waiting for me leaning against sinks.

‘Ok?’ she asked.

‘Yeah, sorry about earlier, he’s still a bit paranoid.’

‘A bit?’ she laughed. ‘Well thanks for not showing him the phone, I’d have died.’

‘Me too, if he can still react like that over an unknown text, what would he be like with the thought of me topless in the newspapers?’

‘What’s the deal with the red head?’

‘What do you mean?’ I asked as I dried my hands.’

‘You looked like you wanted to rugby tackle her to the ground.’

‘She was flirting with Gabe last time we came and I felt it was inappropriate, I mean sure flirt while he’s on his own, but not when I’m standing right next to him, that’s just asking for trouble,’ I grumbled.

‘That’s it?’

‘What else would it be? So I can be jealous too, it’s not just a man thing you know,’ I smiled. ‘Come on we’d better get back and join them.’

I sat between Doug and Gabe, with Lexi between Gabe and Robert and we started with champagne and I’d chosen scallops again for Gabe and I. As Chelsea cleared up, his hand found mine under the table.

‘Sorry,’ he whispered in my ear.

‘I know, but you have nothing to worry about ok? It’s just girl talk should be private. It would be nice if you apologised to Lexi though too and said thank you for your gift,’ I smiled. He nodded and turned to talk to her and I sighed as I saw Red eyeing him again as she took the last of the plates. She was coming close to getting one of my infamous slaps.

‘Got to say you’re handling it really well Mia,’ came Doug’s voice and I turned to look at him.

‘The phone thing? He’s apologised that’s good enough for me,’ I smiled.

‘No, Chelsea.’

‘The hostess?’ I asked as I looked over my shoulder at her disappearing back. ‘I’m not over the moon about it but it’s not the end of the world.’

‘Christ you’re so chilled. If a guy Lexi had fucked for years was serving me while still flirting with her, I don’t think I could sit there and act all calm.’

‘What?’ I asked as my heart stopped its steady beat.

‘Gabe and Chelsea,’ he said looking at me puzzled. ‘His long term fuck buddy since he was a teenager. He told you right?’

‘Does this look like a face of someone in the know Doug?’ I asked as I felt my mouth go dry.

‘O shit. Sorry Mia, I just …
shit
… I just assumed he’d told you. It’s over, it’s been over for ages,’ he stuttered. I suddenly felt sick, why
hadn’t
he told me? How could he bring me here knowing she still worked here, that she was gloating behind my back? I threw napkin down on the table and felt Gabe’s hand suddenly tighten around mine.

‘Baby everything ok?’

‘No, no it’s not,’ I uttered without looking at him. ‘I don’t feel very well, please will you all excuse me for a while.’ I looked at Doug and pleaded with my eyes for him to let me out, he stood up immediately looking really upset as he ran a hand through his hair. I yanked mine out of Gabe’s, grabbed my bag and stood up.

‘Mia, I’m so sorry, I thought you knew.’

‘Don’t apologise Doug,
he
should have told me.’ I walked as quickly as I could and ran up the steps, turning left down the corridor towards the ladies and leaned back on the cool granite wall, covering my face as I heaved in some deep breaths of air. How could Gabe have done that to me? I bit my lip and fought back the tears, I was determined I wasn’t going to cry, I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of knowing she’d got to me. I heard the sound of shoes clattering on the hard polished floor.

‘Baby,’ came Gabe’s voice as I heard him approaching me. I held out one hand to indicate to him not to come any nearer.

‘Don’t, please go away. I don’t want to look at you right now.’

‘Mia, please.’

‘No,’ I bit back. ‘How
could
you Gabe? How could you bring me
here
?’

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t think, please look at me baby, we need to talk about this.’

‘No.’ I turned my back on him as I used my thumb and middle finger to stretch out the corner of my eyes to hold back the tears.

‘
Mia,’
he sighed and I flinched as I felt his hand on my shoulder and jerked it off.

‘Do you have any idea how I’m feeling right now?’ I whispered.

‘No,’ he said quietly.

‘Hurt. Hurt and angry and …
humiliated
.’

‘I never lied to you Mia, I never said there had been nothing between us.’

‘O that makes it all ok,’ I laughed and I could hear the edge of hysteria in my voice. ‘Please, carry on taking me round the city and not introducing me to all the women you’ve fucked while they gloat.’

‘Mia not here,’ he snapped.

‘You should have thought of that before you subjected me to this Gabe.’ I quickly turned, my eyes on the floor, I needed out of here and fast. I tried to bypass him but he moved in front of me. ‘Get out of my way.’

‘No, I’m not having you go and have another melt down like you did with Julie. I thought we’d dealt with all of this?’

‘Don’t you dare make out like I’m being unreasonable,’ I gasped as I finally looked up at his face and he winced as he looked into my eyes and saw how hurt I was feeling.

‘Fine, we’re going to talk, but not here.’ He grabbed my hand and pulled me alongside him to the door at the side of the lift and hurried me down two flights of stairs and out into a dimly lit lobby in front of some glass doors with AT&F etched into them. I tried to pull my hand out of his, but he tightened his grip as he keyed a code into a keypad on the side of the wall and the glass doors slid open. He pulled me through into a spacious reception area and the doors closed behind me as he taped another code in then let me go. I quickly turned and went to get out, but the glazed doors stayed firmly shut.

‘Let me out,’ I demanded, without looking back at him.

‘No. You want to run and hide and that’s not going to happen. We’re talking this out. I’m sorry ok? I didn’t think you’d want me pointing out every woman that I’ve had sex with before, making you feel like I was rubbing your face in it.’

‘I get that, but I knew she was flirting last time, I pointed it out and you said
nothing
.’

‘Because I thought you’d react like this, I didn’t want to upset you baby.’

‘Well guess what Gabe, I
am
upset,’ I yelled as I spun around to look at him. I could barely see his face, the office was only lit by the emergency lights.

‘I know that baby,’ he sighed. ‘I would be in your shoes too.’

‘Then why bring me
here?
It’s a massive city, why bring me here?’

‘Because I have a lot of happy memories here Mia.’

‘Of her?’ I gasped, the pain lancing my chest.

‘No, of Mum and Dad. We spent a lot of time in the office so we ate upstairs a lot. I wanted to share that with you, I’ve never brought anyone else here to eat, it’s personal for me.’

‘I bet, it’s also the place your long term girlfriend works.’

‘She’s not my long term girlfriend,’ he snapped.

‘Right,’ I muttered, feeling incredibly angry with him. ‘I get the rest of it Gabe but not you bringing me here, not knowing that she’s not over you and would be happily rubbing my face in it, without me even having a clue.’

‘She’s
not
and has never been my girlfriend Mia.’

‘She must be a fantastic lay then for you to keep running back to her between women. Did you fuck her when you finished with Julie, before our date?’

‘Fine you want honesty? I’ll give you honesty. Yes, I care for Chelsea, she’s the person I lost my virginity to, upstairs in the women’s toilets as a matter of fact. Yes she’s the person I go to for a quick fuck when I’m between women because until you she was the best lay I ever had. I’ve fucked her hundreds of times but never while I was with anyone else, and from the moment I laid eyes on you I’ve not fucked her or
any
other women. If you ever broke up with me I’d probably run back to her because that’s what we do, we’re each other’s sexual crutches. Is that what you wanted to hear? Do you feel better now?’ he snapped. ‘Is that what I should have told you before bringing you here that first night?’

‘No,’ I cried as I dropped my handbag and covered my eyes again, I couldn’t bear the thought of him being with her like that, that many times.

‘Mia,’ he sighed and I heard him take a few paces towards me, I had nowhere to back off to and he quickly put his arms around me and hauled me up against his chest. ‘Baby I’m sorry, but it’s over with the two of us. I’m with you, I love
you.
I never loved her it was just meaningless sex, an outlet for us both. I promise I didn’t sleep with her when I was seeing anyone else, or between you and Julie ok?’ I nodded against his jacket and felt his hand running up and down my back. ‘What can I do to make it better for you? Do you want to leave?’

‘No,’ I whispered as I shook my head. ‘It’s your Dad’s last night, I don’t want to ruin it for him.’

‘So you want us to go back and carry on with dinner?’

‘Yes, but I need you to go and talk to her.’

‘What?’

‘Even though I get why you didn’t tell me about her, I can’t sit through another two courses of her flirting with you. Please don’t make me do that.’

‘Flirting with me?’ he sounded puzzled.

‘How can you be so clueless?’ I gasped.

‘What do you mean?’

‘She’s in love with you Gabe, it’s so obvious to me now. I can tell by the way she looks and touches your arm and she obviously still thinks that she has a chance with you. I need you to tell her it’s not going to happen, she either stops and behaves professionally, or she asks someone else to serve us.’

‘Baby I think you’re over reacting, it’s always been just sex, she knows that.’

‘She doesn’t Gabe,’ I laughed as I tipped my head back to look up at him. ‘She’s looking at me with an “I’ve been there first and I’ll be there again” look every time she comes over, I can’t believe I didn’t recognise it before. I’ll handle being here, but not if you don’t make it clear to her that it’s over.’

‘She’s in love with me,’ he said, as if mulling it over.

‘Gabe, it’s not the case with all women, but most of my girlfriends agree that sex with a guy tends to involve emotions for us and that the longer we have sex with someone, the more we feel for them. I recognise the look, I can’t believe you don’t.’

‘Fuck,’ he muttered. ‘I really thought she knew it was just friends with benefits.’

‘O Gabe, sometimes you’re so naïve. You’re an amazing catch, for any girl. I’m sorry I reacted like that, but it’s not so much your history with her, it’s her thinking it’s not over and looking at me the way she does, and you letting her, I can’t stand it.’

‘We’d better get back, we’re probably holding up the main course. I’ll go and speak to her now ok?’

‘Thank you.’

‘You sure you’re ok?’ he asked as he smoothed the hair away from one side of my face.

‘I will be. Come on, let’s go back and eat, they’ll be wondering where we are. Your Dad’s going to think we’re having sex on his desk.’

‘Not a bad idea, I’ve never done it on there,’ he nodded and I felt him swell against my pelvis.

‘Well that’s another fantasy to add to the list,’ I smiled. He bent his head to kiss me and I quickly turned my face so it landed on my cheek. ‘Sorry, I just need a bit longer,’ I said quietly.

‘Ok,’ he whispered and kissed my forehead. ‘Come on.’

As we exited the staircase Robert was waiting for us.

‘Mia, would you give us a minute please? I’ve asked Chelsea to send someone else to wait on us tonight and my apologies for putting you through that earlier. Had I known I would have chosen another restaurant.’ His eyes remained firmly fixed on Gabe.

‘Ok, I’m sorry if I’ve caused any problems,’ I said quietly and he turned quickly to look at me.

‘No problems at all, thank you for handling an obviously awkward situation so graciously. See you in a moment.’

I looked up at Gabe who nodded. He released my hand and I quickly ran down the stairs and over to our table. Doug immediately stood up as he and Lexi looked at me.

‘Shit, sorry again Mia. You ok?’

‘I am, sorry for bailing, it was just a bit much.’ I looked at Lexi and she smiled.

‘It’s ok, Doug told us what was going on and Robert was
furious
.’