Love & Loss (55 page)

‘Feeling hot hot hot,’ Lexi sang at me as I threw myself on the recliner. ‘Wow, sexual TEN.SION.’

‘I’m so mad.’

‘Really? I’d never have guessed.’

‘Sod off,’ I laughed and threw a cushion at her head. ‘How dare he? I can’t cut my hair without permission or a stroppy fit that lasts for months, but he can go and shave all his off? I
loved
his hair,’ I sighed.

‘It’ll grow back,’ she shrugged as she flopped back on the sofa. ‘Plus he still looks hot.’

‘I know, but it’s double standards and what if he did that the day before we got married? I’d have been gutted.’

‘Well I guess we’d better have the talk then.’

‘What talk?’

‘The “O. My. God Mia’s getting married and we need to plan it all and get excited” talk.’

‘You think you’re so funny,’ I giggled.

‘Well we haven’t talked about it once since you got engaged.’

‘It’s not like there’s a rush.’

‘I may not be a “
girly dreamt of her wedding since she was nine”
girl either Mia, but weddings take time and lots of planning and preparation. You’ve really not thought about it?’

‘Ok, maybe a little bit since we got engaged.’ I smiled as I blushed a little bit.

‘So tell me, though I warn you if you try to make me wear some fucking girly dress with pompoms and tassels and big flowery skirts I won’t be coming.’

‘As if I’d go for that,’ I laughed. ‘I don’t know, I’d obviously want you and Georgie as bridesmaids, but I was thinking in a shift or bandage dress, something understated and elegant in black or maybe gold. I love a white and gold theme as that’s Gabe’s favourite colour combination on me.’ I looked at her and waited for her nod of approval. ‘I’m just worried that if Gabe has anything to do with it, it will be this big crazy day with horse drawn bloody carriages and releasing butterflies and the like.’

‘So what do you want?’

‘I’d just like it to be family and obviously you and Doug.’

‘Not even friends?’

‘Not for the actual event no, maybe we could have a post honeymoon party for everyone else, but I think I’d feel embarrassed having a load of people there. I know I’ve never really believed in marriage, but that was because I saw how easily people gave up on it. I don’t want that Lex, I want us to promise that we’re going to stay together forever, so I want it to be personal, heartfelt and intimate.’

‘Shit you’re going to make me all emosh and cry,’ she groaned.

‘Shut up,’ I laughed.

‘What about your dress?’

‘I guess we’ll have to start looking, I don’t think I’m going to be easy to please. I’d love to wear a gold one, but I think Gabe would prefer me in something more traditional, but you know me, I love sparkle, so it would have to have some sparkle in it. I can’t believe we’re talking weddings when I’m mad as hell with him and we have food to finish putting out.’

‘Come on then,’ she sighed.

The party had been in full swing for three hours and Gabe and I had kept our distance from each other. I chose to mingle with the guests and keep them topped up with drinks, but every time we were in the same room I could feel his eyes boring into me. When I did risk a glance his way, my whole body begged me to drag him to the bedroom and rip him out of his uniform. He was so
damn
sexy, but I was determined to make him suffer for a while. Why should he get away with doing whatever he wanted and I had to toe the line? The trouble was I could feel the sexual chemistry from across the room, see the fire in his eyes and I let out a soft groan when I saw the obvious tent in his trousers. I looked back up and caught the smug look on his face as he clocked me checking him out, so I scowled and turned on my heels and headed over to Lexi’s to get myself something to eat. I loaded up my plate with some chicken and mushroom vol au vents, prawn toasts, spring rolls and my favourite cocktail sausages and turned around to see him sitting on the back of the sofa with his arms folded as he stared at me.

‘What?’ I mumbled through a mouthful of food.

‘Your backside looks so damn sexy in that tight outfit, I think I’m going to fuck it later.’

‘What if I’m not in the mood?’

‘You’re in the mood.’

‘Cocky.’

‘I am rather aren’t I,’ he grinned as he flashed a look down at his very obvious erection. I spluttered on my vol au vent, which made him smile even more.

‘Well don’t get too excited, because the only way you’ll be seeing any semen emissions tonight is if you head down to the dock and order shore leave with your new found rank as officer.’

‘Feisty girl’s back! I love feisty girl, but you know that resisting sex tonight is never going to happen.’

‘Well as you apparently have the right to exert free will over your hair, I think I’ll invoke my rights over non access to my backside, mouth or vagina thank you.’

‘You left out your big tits, I love to fuck those too.’

‘Well then the whole of this sensationally fuckable package is totally off limits to you tonight Commander Austin.’

‘Who’s cocky now?’ he raised an eyebrow in amusement, damn him, he looked even hotter when he did that, but I wasn’t backing down.

‘I learned from the best. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to get back to the party and swagger like Jagger knowing everyone’s eyes are on my hot tight little body. Knowing that they’re all lusting after me makes me so hot.’ I gave him a smile and went to leave, before I gave in into my desire to throw myself on him and went at it on the sofa. I was suddenly restrained by a pair of arms around my waist as he hauled me back against his body and kissed me right on my favourite neck spot.

‘You make me so hot. Damn it Mia, I need you now.’

‘I told you I’m not in the mood.’

‘Don’t lie, you know it makes me mad, I could see these from across the room,’ he whispered as he flicked one of my stiff nipples. ‘I’ve been watching you bending over and I can’t see any sign of VPL. What are you wearing under there?’

‘Nothing, totally commando, top to bottom.’

‘
Fuck,
’ he hissed as he bit my neck and I let out a whimper. ‘Hmmm not so immune to me after all eh?’

‘You can talk,’ I sighed as I pressed my backside against his erection and slowly ground against it.

‘Damn it Mia, you keep teasing me like this and I’ll be forced to take immediate action,’ he whispered in a sexy as hell deep tone as he kissed around my ear.

‘Would that involve corporal punishment Commander Austin?’

‘Yes.’

‘Of what kind?’ I asked breathlessly as I felt myself getting wet. Damn it he was breaking me, I wanted him so badly.

‘I think a good spanking with the paddle would be in order, then I’d have to tie you up securely to stop you escaping and I’d leave you trussed up like that until you begged me to come and finish what I started.’

‘And would you? Finish what you started?’

‘I don’t know. How much does your greedy little cunt want this big cock inside it?’

‘Badly,’ I sighed.

‘Maybe I could dig out my clone cocks and fuck you in each hole.’

‘O shit,’ I groaned. He’d been threatening it ever since we’d made them, but he kept dangling them like a carrot, never actually following through which frustrated the hell out of me.

‘You like that idea?’

‘Yes, yes I do,’ I groaned.

‘Well as you’ve been so badly behaved this evening, shutting me out and teasing and taunting me, maybe as punishment I’ll deprive you of three of me. I might even ignore all of your delicious holes and empty myself all over your face and chest. I’ll leave you tied and helpless and covered in me until you apologise to me.’

‘Apologise to
you?
Ooooo … you were just winning me around and then you go and say
that.
Game on Austin, let’s see who breaks first, but I’m betting it won’t be me.’ I slapped his hands away and stalked off with my plate of food to hear him laughing behind me. I shut myself in the kitchen, partly because I was starving and needed to eat desperately, partly because if I didn’t put a barrier between us I was likely to rip his trousers off and go at it right there, to hell with the guests. Gabe Austin drove me
crazy.
I heard the door open behind me and sighed. I stood no chance of resisting him when I was trapped in this confined space with him.

‘Mia, can I talk to you?’

‘Milo?’ I spun around surprised to see him, and watched him close the door. ‘What’s the matter?’

‘I really need to talk to you.’

‘Talk away,’ I nodded to a chair but he shook his head and let out a big sigh as he ran his hands through his hair.

‘Don’t do it.’

‘Don’t do what?’

‘Don’t marry
him.
He’s not right for you.’

‘Milo,’ I warned as I stiffened up. It was ten months since he’d acted inappropriately with me and as he seemed to have no memory of it, and had not acted that way since, I’d set it aside and forgotten all about it. Right now though I had a horrible feeling he was about to screw all that up.

‘Please hear me out, I’m one of your best friends Mia, don’t I deserve an opinion?’

‘Are you drunk?’

‘No, but why does that have anything to do with it?’

‘Because last time you cornered me like this you were drunk and came onto me.’

‘When?’ he gasped. I watched him carefully, for any signs that he was acting dumb, but I just couldn’t see them.

‘Our New Year Party.’

‘O God. What did I do?’

‘You grabbed me in an inappropriate hug, told me how lovely my hair was, called Gabe a cocky twat who didn’t deserve me then kissed my neck while you refused to let me go.’

‘Shit. Seriously?’

‘Yes. How do you think you got the bruise on your foot? I stamped on it to make you release me.’

‘O my God Mia, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.’

‘Why don’t you want me to marry him Milo?’

‘I think you know.’

‘Until right now I didn’t believe it, I’m still not sure I do. You were pissed and lonely last time and I put it down to that. So I need to hear you say it, why do you hate Gabe so much?’

‘O so suddenly it’s all about
me
hating
him
? He’s hated me from the moment he met me. He tried to stop us being friends for Christ’s sake Mia, or have you forgotten that?’

‘No, but we are still friends despite his feelings about you Milo, because I enjoy my time with you. Why do you hate him?’

‘Isn’t it obvious?’ he frowned at me as he watched my face for a reaction.

‘No it’s not, so make it clear for me.’

‘Fine, I can’t carry on like this seeing you throwing your life away on someone who doesn’t deserve you Mia. Do you know his reputation? He’s a bloody player. Do you know how many women he fucked before he met you? He won’t commit, you’re going to get your heart broken. Why can’t you see that?’

‘He
is
committed Milo and yes I know about his past, he’s been completely honest with me about it and I’ve accepted it. He’s changed, he changed for me because he loves me.’

‘How sure are you Mia? I mean how do you know he’s not still fucking around behind your back?’

‘Milo you’re crossing a line now. I won’t stand here while you make unjustified allegations about my fiancé. I was willing to hear your concerns, but not if you’re going to keep putting the man I’m in love with down.’

‘I’m just being a concerned friend that’s all Mia, what’s so wrong with that?’

‘A friend? Is that all it is Milo?’

‘I don’t know what you mean,’ he looked at me holding my gaze until I gasped and he quickly looked down at his feet and shoved a hand through his hair again. I swallowed hard. I was as if someone had removed a mask that had been shielding his real face from me, suddenly I could see it, his feelings for me were blindingly obvious. Why had I not seen it before?

‘You’re in love me with?’ I whispered.

‘Yes,’ he said quietly.

‘How long?’

‘Does it matter?’

‘How long Milo?’

‘Pretty much since I met you.’

‘What about Jenny?’ I asked, the disbelief in my voice palpable.

‘We’ve hardly have a relationship since I moved up here. I’ve loved her most of my life, but I spend more time with you and we get on so well I just …’ he broke off and looked back up at me.

‘We get on so well as
friends
Milo. I thought we were clear on the fact that we were great friends without any sexual or emotional issues. I’m with Gabe, I
love
Gabe.’ I watched him wince as I said the words. ‘Why have you never said anything? Why hang out with me knowing it could never develop?’

‘Because I love you Mia. We’re so compatible and the time I spend with you is so … easy. I love everything about you but I tried to squash it down because you were infatuated with him, blinded by his bloody looks, physique and money.’

‘Don’t even go there,’ I hissed. ‘It’s nothing to do with his money.’