Love & Loss (48 page)

‘Here or home,’ he mumbled into my mouth. I hesitated, part of me wanted to just do it, give into it and experience the thrill of someone watching Gabe’s big cock sliding in and out of me, but another part of me wasn’t quite sure. ‘That hesitation tells me it’s home, so let’s move. I need to fuck you, roughly.’

We stumbled through the door of his Dad’s apartment, grabbing at each other as we frantically kissed.

‘God I want you,’ I groaned as he hitched my dress up over my backside and lifted me onto the console table in the hall. I automatically spread my legs for him, exposing myself and his eyes went wide as he quickly tugged his zip down and wrenched himself from his boxers.

‘Damn it baby, you’re so wet,’ he sighed as he nudged his cock into place and thrust up into me and I squealed and grabbed his backside drawing him in closer. ‘You want more of me,’ he chuckled.

‘All of you Gabe,’ I sighed as I tipped my head back and took in a large breath of air as pleasure radiated through my entire body. I felt his lips kiss the hollow of my throat before his tongue ran up it and he lay a trail of kisses along my jaw as he viciously pounded me, the bowl on the table holding the keys rattling with every slam. It was our fastest sex ever, over in less than a minute. The second I screamed his name and started to judder uncontrollably, he roared and filled me before resting his head on my shoulder as we both caught our breath. ‘Wow,’ I sighed.

‘Yeah,’ he breathed. ‘Damn it, I wanted to fuck you for longer than that.’

‘We have all night. You’ll spring an erection again in another couple of minutes,’ I reminded him with a playful tug on his ear lobe with my teeth.

‘I think I promised to suck you dry baby,’ he replied with a smile as he straightened up.

‘You did,’ I nodded.

‘Well tonight your wish is my command,’ he winked. He grabbed my backside and carried me to the lounge, sat me on the back of the leather sofa and pulled out of me. He cradled the back of my head, kissed me gently, before suddenly leaning over me and lowering me down. I squealed and giggled as he set my head down on the sofa, my pelvis up in the air as my knees hooked over the top of the sofa back. He straightened up and slid my knees even further apart and ran the tip of his index finger through my wetness and slowly sucked it, making me groan.

‘O Brandon, you’re amazing,’ I sighed as he lowered his head between my legs and covered my hot wet flesh with his mouth as all the blood rushed to my head.

I swivelled off the pole gracefully as the track I was practising to came to an end and used the remote to pick a work out mix and danced my way over to the kitchen, adjusting my small knickers as I walked. I felt like I was walking on air. The last few months had been so amazing. Gabe was really on the mend now, he was back to only needing weekly sessions with Dr Jarvis, and now we’d worked out a routine that didn’t stress him, he was weaning himself off the sleeping tablets. My sessions were going really well too. I was starting to deal with my low self-worth and issues with trust. I’d upped my average percentages at Uni to the high seventies, and pulled Lexi up to the mid-fifties, though she was still really struggling.

It didn’t help that she was back into her old habits of picking up guys for one night stands. She had an arrangement going on with Sam from the band though, they’d had a full on night of sex, just like Gabe and I, on Valentine’s night. She’d seen him five times since and was now his regular booty call when he was in the UK. Even though we hung out with her and Doug a lot now, and it was nice to see them getting along so well, I felt sad every time I would catch Doug looking at her. I could tell from the look on his face that he wasn’t over her. Gabe said he hadn’t even slept with anyone since they broke up.

Robert had flown back from New York at the end of half term week and had invited Mum and Gerry over, with Gabe and I staying there in his old room. We’d had an amazing few days, they all got on really well and Mum had made me laugh when she turned to face me with a slack jaw and glazed eyes and went ‘
Wow
’ the first time she saw Robert. I’d even told her about moving in with Gabe and they’d all come to see the apartment and to pick up Lexi for lunch. Mum was actually more upset at the pole being in the lounge than the fact that Gabe and I were living together. “
It’s a new work out technique Mum,”
I’d told her, not quite ready to let her know about my extra-curricular activities.

I started preparing the sausages and bacon ready to do a big breakfast. Gabe had gone out for a run. He was really focussing on increasing his personal bests in that to start doing marathons. I was so pleased that he seemed to have finally accepted swimming competitively was going to do him more harm than good. Instead he’d been concentrating on whipping the swim team into shape and his running training. Not to mention all of the sex we were still having. After our night in London, at the 710 club where I saw all those people having sex in weird and wonderful, as well as the not so wonderful ways, I’d finally accepted that there was nothing wrong with
our
sex life. We had a healthy obsession with each other’s bodies and sexual pleasure that didn’t affect anyone else, and the need we had for each other obviously wasn’t abnormal. I was allowing myself to trust that Gabe loved me regardless of our sex life, and I loved him back just as much. I heard the key in the lock and ran over to the door and flung my arms around his neck and kissed him.

‘I missed you,’ I sighed. ‘Can we fuck before breakfast?’

‘Morning Mia,’ came a chuckle. My jaw dropped and I felt my cheeks flush as I peaked over Gabe’s shoulder as he started laughing and ran his hands up and down my back.

‘Shit, sorry Doug, I didn’t realise you were there.’

‘Obviously not. Sorry to mess up your plans. I can go.’

‘No don’t, please join us we have plenty of food. Can you just give me a second before you come in? I’m kind of not wearing much.’ Doug laughed and turned his back as I let go of Gabe.

‘You’re really not are you,’ he murmured as he ran his hands over my bottom and took in the small tight bandeau boob tube I was wearing.

‘Dance gear,’ I winked and turned to head back to the bedroom, giggling as he spanked my bottom. I had a quick shower and pulled on my yoga pants and a cropped t-shirt and headed back in to find Doug sitting at the island. I could hear Gabe in the shower. ‘Coffee?’

‘Please,’ nodded Doug.

‘You went running with him again?’

‘Yes. I know he loves running with you, but sometimes he needs someone who can keep up with him to push him a bit harder. We spur each other on, I did my best time this morning as well.’

‘That’s really good,’ I nodded as I made us both a coffee and set Gabe’s mug by the hot tap ready. ‘Here you go.’ I pushed Doug’s to him and started the grill.

‘So how are you really doing Mia?’

‘Great Doug, I know he had that blip at the end of February with the fourth body found on campus, but I think he’s doing so much better. Don’t you?’

‘Yes I do, but I’m not asking about him, I’m asking about you.’

‘What about me?’ I asked. I turned around to look at him as I nursed my coffee.

‘You’ve had a lot to deal with, looking after Gabe so well and you’re having therapy too.’

‘It’s not a chore looking after him Doug, he needed our help. He gives back in so many other ways I don’t begrudge the difficult times we’ve had, and therapy is going really well, I’m happier than I’ve been in years thank you. You’re very sweet to ask.’

‘It’s really good to see the two of you like this. That night I laid him out in the car park, I was worried you weren’t going to make it, but the love you have for each other is so strong.’ He smiled at me, but it wasn’t his usual goofy grin. I checked the grill then went and sat next to him and took his hand.

‘You still love her,’ I stated quietly. He sighed and nodded his head.

‘You don’t know how hard it is to see her leave Fazeleys on a Friday night with someone else Mia.’

‘Maybe you need to leave there with someone yourself Doug, maybe a one night stand with someone will help you start trying to get over her. Pining for her is going to make you feel worse. What’s holding you back?’

‘I keep hoping she’ll change her mind and want me back. We could be so good together.’ I held his gaze as I stroked his hand with my thumb.

‘You
were
so good together and she’s a stupid idiot for not realising that. I feel like slapping her sometimes.’

‘A hot girl fight, that I’d pay to see. I still can’t believe you both had a full on snog without me there to witness it,’ he grinned, snapping out of his slump. I took my hand away and pushed his shoulder with it.

‘Men,’ I uttered as I returned to check on our breakfast.

‘You performing tonight?’

‘Yes, a new routine as well. That was why I was a bit underdressed when you showed up, I’d been practising.’

‘Please stop talking. Now. I don’t need images of my best friend’s girl doing things like that,’ he laughed. I turned and pulled my tongue out at him as Gabe emerged from the bedroom with damp hair, in his sweats and a t-shirt. He padded over and dipped his head and kissed me as I made his coffee.

‘Good run?’

‘Amazing, I feel really invigorated and hungry.’

‘Well set up the island and we can eat in a few minutes. I have something I want to talk to you both about.’

‘O God, that sounds ominous,’ groaned Doug as Gabe looked at me puzzled.

‘It’s about Lexi and I need your opinions,’ I advised as I finished up cooking some eggs and plated up. We all ate quickly, all this physical exercise we were all doing had ramped up our appetites.

‘So what about Lexi?’ Gabe asked as he pushed his empty plate away and rested his elbows on the oak countertop.

‘I’m thinking of trying to track down her dad so I can set up a meeting.’ I looked at them both, stunned at the silence I was met with and raised my eyebrows. ‘No one has anything to say?’

‘You’ve just taken me a bit by surprise that’s all,’ frowned Gabe.

‘Me too,’ nodded Doug.

‘Well she’s back in old habits, seriously unhealthy bad old habits and I think a lot of it has to do with him having abandoned her. I think if I can find him and talk to him to get the reason for it, and if he’s willing to explain to Lexi, it might help her move on, even if he doesn’t want to be part of her life.’

‘What if she gets really pissed off with you for interfering?’ asked Gabe.

‘O I guarantee she’ll get pissed off with me,’ I nodded. ‘But what if it helps? Isn’t it worth a try? I mean I may find him and he has no interest in talking to her or meeting her, if that’s the case I don’t have to let her know. Nothing ventured nothing gained.’

‘Why exactly are you asking our advice again? It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind,’ laughed Doug.

‘That’s my girl,’ smiled Gabe. ‘She wants to do something, she does it no matter what anyone says. I can already tell that there’s no point in trying to talk you out of this baby, so what can we do to help?’ I beamed at him, pleased that he understood me so well. I wanted their reassurances that I wasn’t crazy to be thinking of doing this, but even if they thought I was, I’d already decided I was doing it anyway.

‘I tried Rowleys and they have no address on file for him, but gave me his last known one, which was eight years ago. Her mum was too pissed to even hold a conversation with me, so I think I need to hire a private detective to try and trace him, but I don’t know where to start.’

‘What do we look like, the bloody Hardy Boys?’ laughed Gabe.

‘Come on dude, at least go for something macho, like Danno and Steve from Hawaii 5-0,’ ribbed Doug.

‘I’d have gone with Sherlock and Watson from Elementary, so think yourself lucky one of you doesn’t have to play Lucy Liu,’ I grinned. ‘I just thought as your fathers are both successful businessmen, they might have some contacts. Surely Robert uses someone for his corporate espionage cases?’

‘Yeah, I think he does,’ nodded Gabe. ‘I’ll ring him for you. It won’t be cheap.’

‘I know,’ I nodded. ‘But she’s worth it.’ I cleared up as Doug headed off and Gabe sent a message to his dad. He came up behind me and grabbed my hips, so I twisted my head for a kiss.

‘I’ll pay for this PI baby, it’s going to cost a lot.’

‘Thanks you’re so sweet but I can afford it. Come and sit down I have a present for you.’

‘Hmmm sounds interesting. It’s not an anniversary that I missed is it?’

‘No,’ I laughed as I took him to the armchair, sat him down and hopped into his lap with an envelope in my hand. I kissed him as I smiled, recalling our romantic weekend in the Lake District for our six month anniversary in March a few weekends back, I’d sat on him like this in a rocking chair which really added to the sex we’d had. ‘Will you promise to accept my gift graciously and without argument?’ I asked as he frowned at me.

‘What are you up to?’

‘Never you mind. I’ve stopped complaining and trying to control your spending, let me give you gifts without complaining,’ I advised. I was earning over £500 a week with my dancing, after setting aside twenty percent for tax. I’d tried to get Mum to stop paying me the monthly allowance she sent, but without telling her how I could afford to manage without it, she refused saying they’d done the same for Georgie so it was happening until the day I finished my degree. So I was letting Lexi have it all, so she could pay all of the bills and have a top up to her wages and now she could afford to buy her own food, clothes and go out. With all the spare money I had from my wages each month I’d built up quite a nice nest egg already.

‘Fine you stubborn little mare, surprise me’ he laughed and kissed my arm. I handed him the envelope and he pulled out a thank you card and frowned, then opened it and quickly caught the slip of paper that dropped out of it. I’d put a receipt in there to show a transfer of £4,500 to his bank account, made yesterday. ‘What the hell’s this?’ he uttered as he looked up at me confused.

‘You paid for my operation when I had no money, this is to pay you back, with interest and a bit extra to say thank you.’

‘Mia,’ he sighed.

‘Please don’t, I can see you starting to pull a face. We’d only been dating a couple of weeks, you went above and beyond for me,’ I reminded him as I traced the edges of his pouting lips with my fingers.

‘I could afford it Mia, trust me, I don’t need repaying.’

‘I can afford it now too Gabe and you said you’d accept it.’

‘Before I knew what it was.’

‘Semantics.’

‘You’re so frustrating sometimes woman,’ he uttered as he looked up at me. I smiled and shrugged.

‘You still love me though.’

‘I do,’ he nodded and kissed my arm again. ‘But an extra £500 is way too much baby.’

‘Well it’s too late, you accepted it before you saw it.’

‘Which I’ll never do again.’

‘So we’re agreed then?’

‘I’ll accept it on one condition.’

‘Gifts shouldn’t come with conditions Gabe,’ I sighed. ‘Besides you already agreed.’

‘I agreed I’d accept, which I will, but I want to transfer it to a joint savings account and I’ll match the amount myself.’

‘What do we need a joint savings account for?’ I asked puzzled. He lifted one of his hands and swept my hair over my shoulder and gently tugged on my necklace and hauled up my platinum and diamond ring, then held it up for me to see.

‘Our wedding fund,’ he whispered as he looked at me intently. I gulped as I looked back and forth between him and the ring, but was surprised to register that I didn’t feel panic when he said the word “wedding.” Only a few months ago I’d have probably freaked out, I
was
doing well.