Love Lost and Found (8 page)

“Oh. Right.” Was he expecting something else?

“I thought you’d be pleased. I’m ticking off things on my oh-woe-is-me-we’re-stuck-on-a-tropical-island
list.”

He laughed at that, and the intensity in his eyes faded, but Felicity still felt the
heat of his X-ray stare as she stood and brushed the sand from her bare legs.

A shaft of sunlight escaped a cloud and aimed its beam on her. Rick’s grin widened.

“Tropical storm creating dangerous currents and high humidity, but with intermittent
streaks of golden sunlight? Sounds like the perfect forecast for a secluded island
seduction. That’s two things off your list.”

She laughed at his boyish grin. “Careful. If I didn’t know it was impossible, it would
almost sound like you arranged this whole thing, weather and all.” She held out a
hand to him without thinking, and he scrambled up to his feet, only slightly limping
compared to yesterday. “Hey, your ankle seems a bit better.”

“Yeah.” He squeezed her hand. “Whatever you did with those leaves must have been magical
after all.”

She scratched her head and remembered the condition of her hair.
Great.
“Well, if you’re all fit and rested, you won’t mind gathering more firewood for the
fire. Seeing as we’re going to be here a bit longer. And if you’re
starving
, try smashing a coconut or two till we manage to get something bigger.”

He made a salute and clicked his bare feet together, then winced as his ankle obviously
flared with pain. “Sure.”

“I’ll start on making a water bowl, and then we’re going fishing.”

It took them the rest of the morning to gather water and wood, and find something
that would catch fish. Wading out into the still-churning lagoon hoping to spear a
fish with the two sticks she’d sharpened, or to find some shellfish, Felicity tried
to be happy, to enjoy the sunshine and beautiful surroundings, but the reality of
being truly stranded was a little too close to how discovering she had amnesia made
her feel, and she was snappy. “For goodness’ sake don’t stand on any coral and injure
yourself again. I’ll be in for it if I bring you back covered in infected cuts as
well as bruises.”

“Do you know much about healing infected cuts and bruises?”

“Only what I’ve been told by the ship’s medical officer. Coral is a nasty one, so
watch yourself. Really.”

He nodded, appearing appropriately chastised and almost uncertain in the water.
Damn.
She hadn’t meant to freak him out. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to tell you off like that.
Here, why don’t you have a go?” She handed him the other homemade spear.

Maybe his bluster was as big as hers and he was nervous as hell about being stuck
here, too. It was only a matter of time before the cruise ship sent someone for them,
but all sorts of things could happen on remote tropical islands. Bites, burns, bimbos.
She mentally slapped herself. What the hell had she been thinking, having sex with
him? Her heart dipped a little and she chanced a glance at him. He was staring at
the water, holding the other spear aloft, probably regretting the fact that he’d ever
touched her.
Familiar much?
So why did her heart feel so heavy at the thought of it not happening again? “They’ll
come and get us soon.” She tried for gentleness in her voice.

“I’m sure they will. And in the meantime, I’ll take care. I promise.”

She nodded and had to look away. As she did, a flicker, more of a shadow really, moved
through the water. Time to put sentiment aside. “Rick? Stay completely still.”

He froze.

“Come to mommy!” Felicity hurled her sharpened stick into the water and then waded
after it, diving into the water and coming up with a triumphant grin and a speckled
fish flapping feebly on the end of her spear. “I can’t believe that worked! Oh my
God. Look, I caught a fish. I caught a fish.”

His face looked as if he’d missed out on the last slice of pizza.

“What? Pissed that I’m the conquering hero? Sorry buddy, but only one of us can be
queen of the wild, and you’re too well-dressed.”

The laugh shook whatever it was that was bothering him.

“Oh, wait. There.” She pointed to another shadow and without hesitating, Rick threw
his spear and plunged into the water after it. Surfacing, he spat out salt water and
held up the fish. “I might be well-dressed, but that doesn’t mean I can’t channel
my inner caveman now and then.
Men
hunt, women gather, cook, clean, and raise babies. I’m taking you back to the campfire
where you belong and, if you’re not careful, I’ll have you sweeping this beach for
sand.”

She laughed at the triumph on his face. It was adorable. Pure and simple.

He went to scoop her up in his arms, then wobbled and straightened. “Sorry, I’ll have
to get you to cook and clean by willpower, since it doesn’t look like my ankle’s going
to let me carry you to your kitchen prison.”

“Nice try, caveman. I caught the first one, you’re cooking it,” she said, and the
lightness in her voice matched, finally, the growing lightness of her heart.

He might have been joking about wanting her to cook, but she was glad she’d pushed
him into doing it. After building the fire up to create a good bed of coals, Rick
barbecued the fish she’d caught as well as a handful of clams he’d dug up, and trickled
coconut juice over the lot. The result was the sweetest, most satisfying lunch she
could remember in a long time, and that was saying something given that the
Pacific Empress
boasted an army of chefs on board at all times.

“I might keep you on if you’re lucky,” she said, sitting back against a tree stump
and licking the last of the coconut milk off her fingers. “And now, seeing as I can,
I think I’ll take a nap.”

“Great idea. I might join you.” He shuffled closer and she rolled her eyes at him.

“Do you ever give up?”

“I’m not sure what you mean,” he said, mocking a wounded look and shuffling even closer.
“I’m pretty sure I’m the take-what-I-want-type.”

“I bet you are.” Felicity laughed and opened her arms for him to cuddle in. Ooh, nice.
She hadn’t cuddled in forever. She shut her eyes, breathed out, but Rick had other
ideas and her body was clearly ready for them.

The moment his lips touched hers, her body surged. She pushed a hand through his hair,
raked his bare back with the other, and as he rolled her on top of him, she straddled
him as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Whoa.
She pushed up off him and gazed down into his face. “What did you put in that food?”

He grinned up at her. “It was pretty close to oysters, I guess.” Putting a hand to
her face he stroked her jaw. “I don’t need to eat anything for my body to want yours,
though. You look so beautiful up there. The sun’s haloed your hair.” He touched it,
coiled one of the curls around a finger. “I’d call it angelic but you’d laugh at me.
And right at this moment, I’m miles away from laughing. I want you. Seriously.”

His hand in her curls tightened and his grin faded. Pushing his fingers farther into
her hair, Rick pulled her down to him and tilted her head so he could dance his tongue
with hers. Again. Looked like Rick was determined to make her live in the moment for
a change. Good.

Felicity’s body opened. Her heart sped. Her legs ached with the thrill of having something
to wrap around.

“Delicious.” His words were fairly purred. “This is what I remember.”

Felicity didn’t bother trying to understand the comment, and let sensation fill her.
After all her talk, now she wanted to dive into the man beneath her. Let the warm
wetness of his kisses fill her whole body. Let his hands get rid of her annoying clothing
and pull her against his hot skin. Not even the thought that he didn’t have any more
condoms could slow her down. She wanted…she wanted him.

“Just give in to destiny, remember,” he growled in her ear.

Magically her shirt was open and her bikini a puddle of fabric on the ground. He flipped
her on her back and held her pinned down while her pants went the way of the rest
of her uniform. Then his hot, hard length was inside her and she was tumbling through
an ocean of desire.

As if last night had never happened, Felicity was baffled all over again that he could
fill her so completely. The girth of his cock rubbed every inch of her, spurring her
on, demanding that she pour every ounce of energy into their lovemaking.

“God, you’re so hot and wet. It’s fantastic.”

So hot. And wet. Completely hot and completely wet, flooded by the need to pull his
cock farther and farther inside. He ground into her, rubbing her clit and sending
her nerve endings sparking all the way to her fingertips. “No, not yet.” Thrusting
with everything she had, she managed to unpin herself and roll on top. She slowed
the pace, just enough to skim along the edge of the world. Her almost-orgasm creeping
tendrils up her spine, she hovered, almost drowning in pleasure.

“Enough.” He gripped her around the waist and pulled her hard against him, shattering
her ocean of sensation with wave after wave of pleasure.

She collapsed onto him, amazed at her audacity, amazed at the height of pleasure that
was possible with one man.

“I might cook more often.”

She smiled down at him as he ran a lazy finger down her body. This time she quieted
the hands that itched to cover herself.

“That was just about the best dessert I think I’ve ever had,” he said.

“Oh, I’m not sure I’d go that far,” Felicity managed. “Now if you happened to have
a chocolate martini in that bag of yours to follow up, you might just be the best
chef in the universe.”

Rick bit his lip, but instead of it being a cute signal of disappointment, it made
her want to jump him all over again.
Gah. Insatiable much?
Well, if you were going to get over a sexual drought, might as well make sure the
hedges were well and truly watered.

“I don’t like to brag, but I’m pretty sure there are a few more courses on the menu.”

She made a face. “Cheesy, Cashypants. Complete cheese.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Not a fan of fondue?”

Felicity groaned and climbed off the slowly cooling man hunk beneath her.

“Not hungry anymore?” He pulled her down beside him and wrapped his arms around her.
She curled into him, letting his heavy arm rest on her naked stomach, and soon his
breath dropped into a steady, even rhythm. So much for going another round.

Fingers to her lips, she felt the heat of his touch still there.
Delicious.
Had he really said that? And had she really responded as if her body was just waiting
for him to feast on it? When she’d looked into those eyes and felt the darting of
his tongue, it was as though she’d been there before. It had none of the awkwardness
of her brief onboard liaisons, nor any of the fraught tension she remembered from
her teenaged affairs. This was grown-up, hot, untrammeled passion and she hadn’t wanted
it to stop.

What was it about Rick McCashin that drove her to drop her usual barriers and…and
what? The memory of their lovemaking flooded through her. Just thinking about it pushed
the blood through her body faster, made her nipples harden, warmed the source of her
sex. Maybe it was that he was a stranger. To be a stranger with a stranger was alluring
and tempting, probably because it was so anonymous. Yet she felt anything but anonymous
with Rick. Felicity gazed down at his peaceful face. She didn’t
want
to be anonymous with him.

“Hey you. Wake up.” She poked him in the shoulder gently.

He muttered something unintelligible and tried to snuggle in and pull her closer.
Later.

“Rick.” She kissed him on the corner of the mouth and whispered in his ear. “Hey,
wake up. There’s something I need to tell you.”

His eyes flickered open. “Felicity.” He smiled. “It’s good to have you back.”

Back?
She sat up and the confusion must have been obvious on her face as Rick rubbed at
his face and sighed.

“What do you mean ‘back’?”

For a moment, it looked as if Rick was about to wave her off, but something changed
in his eyes. A flicker of—compassion? Acceptance? Resignation? “You really don’t remember,
do you?” he said.

That stopped her. “Remember?” Felicity sat dead still. “Is there something—it felt
like my body knew yours, but I didn’t think it could have, you’re not my type. I mean,
I didn’t think you’d be my type.” She blinked rapidly as if trying to see him somewhere
else in her life.

“We connected like we’d…shit, like we’d already connected. Of course we did.” The
warmth she’d drawn around her from being in his arms, from feeling so right there,
evaporated. Replaced instead by a sick rolling in her stomach. “I knew you, didn’t
I? I mean, I know you?”

“Yep.”

She waited, her mouth open until the gap grew too large. “Um, hello. You knew me?
How? When? Why the hell didn’t you say so?”

His face showed regret, but not apology. Not true remorse. “You left. Ran. Just after
you’d agreed to be my wife.”

She shuffled out of his reach, and her mouth formed the kind of perfect
O
that would have better fit a cartoon character.

“
I’m
the fiancée?”

“That depends.”

She gulped. Was this all going to turn into some terrible made-for-TV horror? “On
what?”

“It depends on what happens next. You’re my fiancée, we worked together. I need you
back.”

Felicity stood and walked a little way off before she turned. “There is no Richard
McCashin, is there?”

He shook his head. “My name is Rick McCarthy.”

Chapter Eight

As if someone had picked up an illustration of their Pacific Island paradise and screwed
it into a ball, the sky darkened and Felicity felt herself crumpling. “You lied to
me?”

“I had to. There was no way of knowing if you really didn’t remember anything, or
if you were running for another reason. You could have been selling secrets to the
Russians for all I knew.”

“What? You thought
I
was lying?” If she could have, she would have spat the words at him. She coughed,
trying to get the bitter taste out of her mouth, but it didn’t shift. Standing and
pacing up and down on the sand, Felicity couldn’t bring herself to look at the person
who had proved, again, that men were not to be trusted.

“Like I said, there was no way to know. You left. Didn’t tell anyone where you were
going. No forwarding address, no emergency contact details. No waiting for me to gain
consciousness.”

Felicity looked at him. That last comment was spiked with emotion. “I thought you
were just my boss. I thought we’d gone on some team-building exercise. Nobody at the
office told me anything, and then I was just—I had to get out of town.” She paused.
“Hang on. If we were engaged, why didn’t anyone tell me?”

“No one knew.”

She stopped her pacing. “No one knew? Why not?”

“We’d only just got engaged. Up there, on top of the cliffs. I climbed up with the
ring in my pocket. Felt like it weighed a ton all the way up.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, looking for deceit. “What sort of ring was it? Diamond?
Princess cut perhaps?”

“A diamond, yes. Simple and elegant. But an emerald cut, not a princess cut. It looked
good on you.”

No hesitation. He didn’t seem to be lying. And what guy would really know the difference
between an emerald-cut and a princess-cut diamond unless they’d bothered to do some
serious engagement ring shopping? “So where is it?”

He shrugged. “You fell. We fell. I don’t know what happened to the ring.”

She paused, trying to remember. Trying to see the flash and sparkle of an emerald-cut
diamond. Nothing. She looked down at her naked ring finger. Still nothing. “But why
didn’t anyone even know we were together? Why weren’t there any photos of us in my
apartment? Or any e-mails, even? Everything between us was about business.”

“You didn’t want to tell anyone. Said it was unprofessional. And you didn’t like photos.
Your work was your life and we were only allowed to be together once we’d put the
project we were working on to bed. But after you said yes, when you slid that ring
onto your finger, you agreed to share it with everyone. We were going to announce
it to the team on Monday.”

“Very convenient.”

Now it was his turn to look confused. “What do you mean? It was hardly convenient.
You left, without a word, and you managed to hide well enough that it took my private
investigator months to find you.”

“You had a private investigator looking for me?” Felicity was floored. First she was
stranded on a tropical island, now she had someone sending out private investigators
after her. “This is all just way too Hollywood to be true.”

“You’ll just have to take my word for it.”

She practically spluttered. “You what? You want me to take your word for it? That
is beyond rich. That’s…oh my God…that’s just perfect. I don’t
have
to believe a single word that’s come out of your mouth while we’ve been here—in fact,
I’d be crazy to. You’ve already told me you’re not who you say you are. You have no
proof you’re who you say you are now. For all I know, you could be an ax murderer
who likes to prey on vulnerable women with no memory.”

“That’s a bit of a stretch, don’t you think? It would be a pretty costly way of getting
victims.”

“Okay. A rich, crazy ax murderer then.”

He studied her, his head tilted to the side. “Finished?”

“No. Not even close. If you think I’m going to believe anything you say from now on
you are
most
mistaken. In fact, I’m not sure I want to hear anything else. Don’t talk to me.”

He stood up and started toward her.

“And don’t try to touch me.” She took a step away from him. “I can’t believe I had
sex with you. You’re even worse than Brendon. A thousand times worse. At least I knew
his real name.” Rubbing her forehead in dismay, Felicity started toward the beach
and held up a hand as she felt him start to follow. “Just give me a moment. At least.
You owe me that much.”

By the water, out of view of Cashypants, the world was strangely still. The wind had
dropped, the ocean eased in and out rather than thrashing the shoreline, and the birds
seemed to be taking a midafternoon nap. “Shitballs.” Felicity collapsed onto the sand
and let herself cry. Just when she’d allowed herself to enjoy this time. Just when
she’d begun to look forward to being in a man’s arms, even if it was only short-term.
“Good one, Williams. You forgot to add
isn’t a big fat liar
to your Prince Cashypants prerequisite list. Should have known he was too good to
be true.” If life had taught her anything, it was that if something seemed too good
to be true, there was
not
going to be a peppermint chocolate at the end of it all.

But now what?

“Do I believe him?” Shutting her eyes, Felicity fought her way through the whitewashed
fog of her memories, searching for something, anything, that might offer a clue as
to whether Rick was a real part of her past, or a flickering fantasy.

Nothing. As always.

So?
So. Did she believe that she’d been engaged to Rick McCarthy? Did she believe that
in the last five years she’d gotten over Brendon enough to fall in love with someone,
her boss of all people, have a secret relationship with him, and then agree to be
with him forever?

Pretty big ask.

Yes, but it was a pretty big ask for someone to go to all the trouble of pretending
to be someone else and seducing her before he came clean.

And what about the sneaky little sparkly butterflies when you think about being married
to him?
That was the crux of it. She could contemplate what-ifs until the ships came in,
but she still had to deal with right now. With what came next. She looked out over
the ocean, and the image of her parents on their boat flashed into her mind. They’d
taken on ocean crossings, huge storms, challenges that were way bigger than confronting
a guy who may or may not be her fiancé. Her parents wouldn’t want her moping. They
never moped. Never.

She stood and started back toward their makeshift campsite, her shoulders straighter,
her tears dried. Just because the thought of being engaged to him wasn’t exactly at
the top of her worst-things-in-the-world list, didn’t mean she was going to roll over
and accept everything Rick told her. Cashypants better have something else in that
bag of his that gave her a good reason to believe him, or she was calling the happily-ever-after
police. Or at the very least, she was calling security when they got back on board.

“You came back.”

Damn if he didn’t look relieved.

“Of course I came back. Hardly going to stay on this island forever now, am I? The
jetty is down there.” She pointed.

“Look, I’m sorry—”

“Save it, Cashypants.”

“Cashypants?”

“It’s what I’ve been calling you. All this time. In my head. Seeing as you may or
may not actually be Rick McCarthy.”

“I am. Truly I am.”

“Can you prove it?”

Rick narrowed his eyes at her. “Not right now, but when we get on board—”

“When we get on board you could whip up all sorts of fake ID. No, I’d like proof.
Just a little something, to show me you’re safe and not—”

“Some crazy, rich ax murderer, yes, I get it.” His wry smile diluted what she’d hoped
would be a stern speech.

“What the hell sort of name is McCashin for a big-time investor, anyway? Cheese factory,
Cashypants.”

He smirked. “I wasn’t really thinking. Glad you liked it.”

She scowled. “That’s not what I meant.” She spied the bag of food and grabbed a slab
of locally made flatbread, tearing a chunk out and stuffing it into her mouth.
Ladylike.
Why should she care? She stuffed another chunk in.

“Good idea. Mind if I share some?”

Felicity held the bread behind her back. “Not until I get some answers.”

Rick gnawed on a fingernail. For a moment he seemed uncertain, as if he really cared
that she didn’t believe him and wasn’t going to. Maybe not ever. Then his pupils dilated
as his eyes widened. It was as if she saw the idea hit his eyes before he opened his
mouth. “Phone.”

“What? There’s no phone here. We’re on a deserted island, remember?”

“No, my phone. My cell.” He ran over to his bag and pulled a smartphone out of a front
pocket. Tossing it to her he said, “There’s only intermittent reception, but we’re
close enough to Espiritu Santo that a bar or two will pop up. When the
Pacific Empress
was in the harbor I called the captain. To let him know we were okay.”

Felicity stared at him. “You called the captain?”

He nodded. “He made me promise. And sign a waiver.”

The implications crawled up the back of Felicity’s neck and she patted the hair to
calm it down again. “You arranged all of this?” She paused. “But your ankle… You faked
that? No, I saw the pain on your face, and you could hardly walk.”

“That was a real accident. I was going to pretend to get lost so we missed the tender.
The fall was just bad—but good—luck. You can check my call log. It’ll show up that
I called the captain yesterday. Ring the number if you like, you might get his voice
mail, though I doubt they’ll have reception now.”

Felicity stared at the man in front of her. Gone was any attempt at Prince Charming
overtones.

“The boat will be back shortly to take us to Espiritu Santo. It’s going to be a bit
of a trip to catch up with the cruise though.”

“Hang on.” She held up her hand. “You really arranged all of this?”

He nodded.

“You whipped up a fake personality and convinced the captain to let us get stranded
on a desert island? Is any of that even legal?”

“Oh, I checked it out with the company lawyers beforehand. As long as I don’t sign
anything as Rick McCashin I should be fine.”

Felicity felt her jaw drop again. She was going to catch some serious flies soon if
she didn’t cut it out. He’d planned this so long ago he’d had time to get his lawyers
to check out his crazyshitballs plan? And the company lawyers had just patted him
on the back and said, “Off you go.” What sort of company did the man own? And what
the hell had she been doing working there?

“What did you expect? I’m not the sort of man who likes his fiancée disappearing without
a word. I wasn’t about to let you run off without an explanation.”

“I didn’t
expect
anything. And I couldn’t explain anything either. I don’t remember it. I don’t remember
you.”

The look in his eyes was hurt. Real hurt, and her sparkly stomach butterflies started
up again. She
didn’t
remember him, but until this mad revelation, she’d been pretty keen on ensuring that
she made a few memories with him.

He looked down. “I believe you. I’d like a full explanation, though. So you forgot
some stuff, but was that really grounds for running off and practically joining the
circus—I mean, a cruise ship?”

“You believe me? Oh, so very generous of you.” Her anger threatened to reignite. “And
you want
me
to explain? After your crazy Hollywood hunting-down-the-girl extravaganza?”

“I’d hardly call it that,” he said softly.

“And what would you call it?”

“Man meets girl. Man and girl fall down cliff. Man can’t find girl. Man decides to
go get girl. Man finds girl.” He paused, then added gently, “I guess the rest is up
to you.”

If she could have painted the world with the mess of her mixed emotions, Felicity
would have gotten out a paintbrush right then and there. But she didn’t get a chance.

Rick turned and started toward the jetty. “Ah. There’s our boat, finally. Lucky you
packed light.”