Love Me If You Bear: Werebear/BBW Paranormal Romance (2 page)

I just stared at him. Where was this coming from? In the months we had known each other, I don't think the word “sex” had ever once come up. “Yes,” I said simply, and got out of the car. “Good night,” I said as I shut the door.

Like I said, I’ll talk to him about anything as long as it involves me staring at him. I just was not prepared for that question!

Then I remembered the tense atmosphere between him and my friends after I had been out of the room for a couple of minutes. Maybe they had said something to him about it. But that would've come out of nowhere! They had barely been talking to him, and then for them to just randomly come out with something about me being a virgin? It was too bizarre.

But what did it look like from their perspective? I had brought this guy over to one of our board game nights. They knew we had been hanging out constantly, and always one on one. He clearly didn't fit in with our group. So maybe they had been trying to warn him away from me.

Were they jealous? Did one or more of them want me for themselves? No, it was impossible - I was just a kid sister to them. And they could probably see as well as I could that Asher was much too good-looking for me. If they had said something to him, they would have been trying to protect me, to keep me from getting hurt.

I sighed as I waited for the elevator to my floor. I had to talk to them soon and let them know that there was nothing going on between me and Asher. Nothing to protect me from. Nope, nothing at all...

Now we're just about up to right now. The night I'm going to tell you about next was just last night. And I'll admit, that night is kind of the reason I decided to start keeping a diary again. It was a really big night. I mean a huge one!

Asher had suggested that we meet up in the evening and get a drink at a bar. I had been surprised because it wasn't our normal thing, but I was open to the idea. I don't mind having one drink with friends - I just don't get drunk.

Well, we met at the bar and got to chatting away as usual. He was looking particularly handsome for some reason, and I kept catching myself staring at his cute brown eyes or the thatch of chest hair that I could see at the V of his T-shirt. I almost thought he was looking at me differently, too, but I reminded myself that it wasn't possible.

As I sipped my drink and talked to him about everything and nothing, I almost felt sad that our friendship couldn't actually be more. We just get along so well, and he's so good-looking - but what could I do?

One vodka-cran turned into two, and I may have been a tiny bit tipsy by the time Asher began to ask me about some more personal subjects. “So, you’re a virgin...”

I stiffened. Were we really going to talk about this? I had never talked about sex with anyone. Even Ben, Luke and Mike didn't know anything about my sex life, other than that I didn't do it and wasn't going to. “Yeah?”

“Is it, uh...” He seemed to be having a hard time getting his words out. “Do you not do anything, or just not sex?”

“Well...” If I hadn't had those two drinks, I might have stopped him right there, but at that point I had loosened up enough that opening up to Asher a little bit didn't seem like such a terrible idea. “It's never really come up.”

I could see what looked like surprise again on his face, but he kept his voice neutral. “Do you plan to?”

“Hypothetically?” I giggled. It wasn't something I really thought about often. “I guess so, eventually. It would have to be with someone I really loved, though. Someone I trusted completely.”

He nodded, thinking about my answer. “What about, um... Do you do it to yourself?”

I had a vague idea of what he meant, but I played dumb anyway. “Do I do what?”

Leaning forward, he dropped his voice about as low as it could go while still being audible. “Masturbate.”

I giggled wildly. The look on his face was just priceless! He must have thought I had gone crazy - me, who's usually so calm and sane, laughing like a maniac after just two drinks and a couple of personal questions! At last I pulled myself together enough to answer. “I have,” I whispered back. “But it didn't really...” Now I was as tongue-tied as he was. “It didn't really do it for me.”

“How do you mean?”

“I don't think I ever really... got there. So I just stopped.”

“I see,” he said. Looking thoughtful, he took another sip of his drink. “Did you want to get another?” he asked, seeming to want to bring the conversation back to a normal territory.

“No, I think I've had enough!”

We sat and talked for a few more minutes, and then he suggested going for a drive.

“You shouldn't drink and drive,” I told him.

“I've only had two, I'm fine,” he said. He seemed so sure of himself that I didn't want to sound childish by protesting anymore. I didn't tell him my head was already spinning from the two drinks I had had. Of course his tolerance was higher than mine, though! He's a head taller than me, and with all his muscle he probably weighs even more than I do.

Once we were in the car, he was pretty quiet. Full of giggles, I tried to get him talking again, but he just gave me one-word answers to my questions.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“You'll see.”

Taking a hint from him, I stopped laughing and just sat quietly. The road before us was blurring a little bit, but not as badly as it had been before. I glanced over at Asher from time to time, taking in his handsome profile. He was just too good-looking.

I tried to keep track of the road ahead, but I had no idea where we were. We did seem to be going upwards, but that was all I could tell. The alcohol seemed to be wearing off, and I was finding this less and less funny. “Asher, where are we going?” I asked again.

“We're here.”

I peered out the window. We were nowhere. Well, we were on a hill, and there was a beautiful view of the city before us. Tall buildings with lit windows spread for miles around us, peaceful and silent the way they never were in the daytime. No other cars were around.

“Where?” I asked again.

“I found this place a few weeks ago, just driving around for fun. I thought it might be a good place to take a special lady one day,” he said, looking ahead instead of at me.

My ears perked up for a moment, but then slouched down again. For a moment, I thought I could be the special lady he said he wanted to come here with - but he had said “one day.” Not today. Of course he didn't like me like that.

I was silent. He turned to me, spreading his hands as if begging me for something. “Aren't you going to say anything to that?” he asked.

“What am I supposed to say?” I said, looking at my lap.

“Eden...” Hearing his tone, I looked up at him. His usual confidence was gone. “I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to say it, okay?”

I stared at him, hoping against hope that what he was going to say was what I wanted to hear.

“Eden, I like you. I like you a lot. I know you have a lot of guy friends, and you probably just see me as another one of them. But I can't just keep sitting here pretending like I'm okay with just being your friend when every day I have more and more of a crush on you.”

My jaw had probably dropped open at that point. I gaped at him even more, unable to say a word.

Fortunately, he wasn't done talking. “You are, quite simply, beautiful, intelligent, funny, and one of the most fascinating people I've ever met. And you don't even know it.” He paused, waiting to see if I would offer some kind of response. “So there it is, Eden. I like you. That's all I have to say, and if you want me to take you home now, I will.”

“You...” I was at a complete loss for words. “I...”

“Eden?” Asher was looking at me with concern.

Unable to think of a single thing I could possibly say to explain how I felt, I leaned forward and kissed him.

Yes, dear Diary, I did!

I kissed him!

My very first kiss! Let me tell you, my heart was pounding like crazy when I leaned in and did that, but after what he had just told me, I knew he wasn't going to pull away. After a moment, when I was able to relax and ignore the beating of my heart, I even started to enjoy it.

To be honest, it didn't feel much different from when I used to squeeze my lips between two fingers to practice.

Well, to be very honest, it's not so much “when I used to” as it is “when I did last week.”

Anyway, his lips felt softer than my fingers ever did, plus there was the warmth of his face, and the taste of the beer he had been drinking... All in all, I’d definitely say kissing him was a lot better than kissing my fingers!

I moved as close as I could towards him on my seat, and he did the same, running his fingers through my hair as we kissed more and more passionately. He was the one to pull away first, actually. “Does this mean you like me, too?” he asked quietly.

“Of course I do!” I nearly shrieked. I wanted to restrain my emotions - half of me was convinced he was joking about liking me like that - but I didn't feel able to. “I didn't think you would ever like me.”

He stroked my face. “How could I not like you? You're perfect.”

I didn't want to tell him how I felt about me being so chubby and him being so attractive. So I just kissed him again - and then again. I was already starting to get the hang of it!

“Do you want to get in the back seat?” he asked.

I tensed up completely. What was he talking about? He knew fully well how inexperienced I was with sexual things - he had just asked me about that earlier that evening.

Seeing the look on my face, he said immediately, “Not for that! Just to be more comfortable. And, you know, whatever you're comfortable with.”

My heart was suddenly pounding again, but I reminded myself that this was Asher, the guy who had been my best friend for the past couple of months. I had nothing to be scared of.

The moments as we each opened our doors, got out, and got into the back seat were some of the longest moments of my life. But at the end, it was just me sitting in the back of a car with my friend.

We closed our respective doors, and Asher kissed me again. He took my long blonde ponytail in his hand and pulled out the elastic band, letting my hair fall around my shoulders. “I've wanted to touch your hair for so long,” he said softly.

“You could've touched it,” I said, kissing his cheek. “You never even asked.”

“There's a lot of things I want to touch...”

Getting braver, I kissed down to his neck. There was something happening within me, and I wasn't sure what it was. My private parts felt funny, and my panties were uncomfortably wet. Was this what people meant when they talked about “being turned on”? When I had experimented by myself, I had never felt like this.

I'm not so naive that I didn't know what he wanted to touch, but I wasn't sure about letting him do it.

As he stroked my hair and my back, I noticed again how hairy his muscular arms were. What was up with that? They looked even hairier than usual. Maybe if he was my boyfriend, he would be willing to go get manscaped for me. I almost laughed then - I was definitely getting ahead of myself!

For the moment, I had no idea what was going to happen in our relationship - but I knew how much I liked Asher, and somehow, incredibly, he seemed to like me back.

Kissing me again, his hands slid under the hem of my T-shirt. I made a noise without even meaning to, and my hands raced to find his and stop them where they were. Even just touching me there, I was sure he would get turned off by all my too-curvy curves and realize what a mistake he had made in finding me attractive. There was no way I would ever take any of my clothes off with him.