Love Me ~ Like That (21 page)

He stares across the street. I follow his gaze, which reminds me I need to call Bailey and explain things to her. I can’t believe I blew her off like I did. I should have taken a couple of minutes and at least texted her. I hope she isn’t too pissed.

I go and grab us a couple of beers, and we talk for a while. I notice Lizzie’s little bug pulls into the Jacksons’ driveway. That girl is a trip, but she is sweet. Not five seconds later, Bailey pulls in behind her. I need to just go over there, and let her know what’s going on.

“Who are the fine ass chicks?” Clay points with his beer bottle.

“One is the girl of my dreams and the other is her friend or cousin, I think.”

“Which one is the dream girl? Please don’t say the blonde.”

My eyes are glued on Bailey. “Come on, I’ll introduce you. The blonde is Lizzie, and Bailey is mine, so don’t get any ideas.”

I push off the side of the house. Now that things have settled down, I can focus on Bailey again. A little TLC might be in order, but I want to give her more than a little. Clay follows me across the street. We step up on the porch and knock on the door. Lizzie opens it.

“Hey, Cash.” She pulls me in by my arm, “I’m glad you came over. I think I’m going to need your help in a big way. She has lost her mind and you’re the only one who can fix it right now,” Lizzie says in a hushed tone.

Bailey is sitting on the couch with her legs drawn to her chest. She has her right cheek resting on her knee. Tears stream down her face and I can hear the soft sounds of her breath catching from all the crying. Her beautiful face is reflecting all the anguish she is feeling inside, and I would do anything to take this heartache away from her.

I don’t bother introducing Clay. I go straight to my girl. I hear Clay talking.

“Do you know what this shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.” Clay tells Lizzie.

Please tell me he isn’t that cheesy.

My girl is upset, and she needs me. “What’s wrong with my Sweet Cheeks? Is it your Granny? Is she okay?” I sit on the couch with her and she crawls into my lap and curls into a little ball. I kiss her hair and just hold her. She isn’t crying, now, but something is weighing heavy on her mind. “What can I do to make everything all better?”

She lifts her head and looks at me then she nips at my lips hungrily. She puts her hands in my hair and kisses me with full on passion.

We need to take this somewhere else. I look over to tell Clay, signaling I will be back. I stand back up with Bailey wrapped all around me. “Let’s go talk, Sweetheart.” I carry her outside to our picnic table. I sit her on the end and stand between her legs, still hugging her. I pull her chin up to look at me, “Tell me, what has you troubled? Please? I can’t help you if I don’t know.” A fear washes over me, something tells me this isn’t going to be good.

“Cash, I don’t think you can help me.”

I wipe away a tear that runs down her cheek. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”

“Granny’s not getting any better and she is going to need a lot of experienced medical care. Even with her insurance and Medicare, I don’t see how I can afford it. Their Social Security checks aren’t that much and it takes most of my current income to pay my car payment and insurance. My family will help out some, but they really can’t afford it all either.” Her cheeks redden.

I see the shame in her eyes and she ducks her head. She has nothing to be ashamed about. Everybody struggles from time to time. “Hey, you will make it through this, I promise. I won’t let you suffer. I’m here for you, all of this. We can handle it, one step at a time. You have me to lean on now.”

“Hendrix has offered to take care of Granny with around the clock medical care,” she blurts out.

Is she telling me our relationship is over before it’s even began?

“I don’t want to take his help, Cash, I really don’t. I don’t want to be with him, but he’s promised he’s changed and Granny needs the care.”

She is bawling now. She is torn up over this.

“What exactly does she need, Bailey? Is she really going to need around the clock care? What has the doctor suggested that you guys do? Have you looked into that?”

She shakes her head. “I don’t even know what she needs. They put her back into the ICU with pneumonia. She has a long road ahead of her.”

She proceeds to tell me a very interesting conversation between her and this prick. She is clearly wanting to do what she can for her grandparents because she has a devotion to them which is real. But she told me last night all of the reasons she wanted out of the relationship.

“Why don’t you call and make an appointment to talk to the doctor? Find out what your granny is going to need before you make any kind of decision like that.” She isn’t thinking logically right now. She can’t see through her pain that the prick is trying to manipulate her. I can’t allow that to happen, but is she going to listen to reason?

“I don’t know, Cash.”

What in the hell is there not to know? Her eyes are all puffy and her face is blotchy, but she is still the most beautiful woman in the world to me. How am I going to make her see this? “What is that you don’t know, Bailey? You tell me you don’t want to accept Hendrix’s help. I offer my help and you won’t accept it either? Are you too proud for a man to help you? Is that it?”

“Noooo,” she wails. “Cash, he is offering financial help, don’t you see how hard that is for me to pass up? This will not only help them get better, but have a better quality of life, too. How do I turn that down?”

I can’t help it. I’m pissed off that she is even considering going back to that prick. She is putting her own needs and happiness last because of money. I really get that she wants to take care of her grandparents. I do, but I don’t want to lose her before we even get started. I am infuriated that prick is using his wealth to control her.

“The way I see it, Bailey, is that you can go through your life and let people like Hendrix manipulate you this way, or you can grow the fuck up and start living for yourself. Do you really think your grandparents would want you to sacrifice your own happiness for them to have a better quality of life? Does money mean that much to you?”

She looks at me like I just slapped the shit out of her, but it’s the truth. Yes, I’m infuriated that he is manipulating her, but I’m beyond infuriated that she is allowing him. She is too bright not to see this for herself.

“Please leave, Cash, I need to be alone.”

She is going to be shallow and stay with Hendrix because he can make her life easier? “So this is it? You’re picking him because of his money, even when he treats you like shit?”

“I’m not picking anyone or doing anything, Cash. I just can’t deal with you doing the same thing he has been doing. He was trying his best to make me want to come back to him by offering me all the things I ever wanted in life. What have you been doing? Aren’t you doing the same?”

“No, Bailey, I was offering help. I wasn’t offering to fix everything for you. I think you’re capable of taking care of things yourself, but apparently you aren’t as mature as I thought. When you grow the fuck up, and decide to handle your own problems, why don’t you give me a call.” I turn and go back into the house.

Clay has moved in closer to Lizzie. That boy doesn’t waste any time. I’m glad that he can get his mind off the fucked up shit that is going on in his life right now. “Take your time, Clay, but I’m outta here.” I’m out the door and I’m not looking back.

I want Bailey, and I still think she is the woman of my dreams, but she needs to grow up. I thought the age difference wasn’t going to matter, but I guess I was wrong. Why the hell do I feel so bad for leaving her this way? Why can’t she see that prick for what he is? I should have never opened myself up, never let down my guard like this.

All I want to do is go back over there and take her in my arms and tell her I’ll take care of all of it. I have more than enough money to do that. She just made me so fucking mad with her thinking his money was the solution to her problem. I already regret my actions, but I need to cool down, and she needs to come to her senses. If she does choose that prick in the meantime, I’ll deal with my broken heart then.

Journal Entry:
I’ve spent the last couple of days in a fog, going back and forth to the hospital and talking to doctors and healthcare providers. I have enough information I could start my own clinic now. Cash telling me to grow the fuck up infuriated me as much as it tore my heart out. At first my attitude was, who the hell does he think he is? He doesn’t know who I am and what I’ve been through. I’ve been taking care of my grandparents almost by myself and doing a damn awesome job of it. The hell with him! I don’t need him. And fuck Hendrix too. I can do all of this by myself. I am Bailey Grace Reynolds, and I don’t need a man to fix anything for me.

Then I realize that was exactly what he was trying to tell me. I’m a strong confident woman. Look at who raised me. Granny taught me to take care of my family and myself. The Jackson family has always bonded and taken care of our own and hell if I’m going to let that change now.

Though a man to take care of my internal plumbing would be nice. I could use one for sex. Guys do it all the time. Why not me? Hell yeah! Ha! Ha! I hope I haven’t blown my chance with Cash because I do want things to work out with him. I’ll talk to him and offer him the “friends with benefits package” in hopes he is an all or nothing type of guy. I need to play this out to see where his head is.

First, I need to wash my hands of Hendrix so I can move forward in my life and not look back. I text him.

Me: Don’t bother doing anything for me or my family, Hendrix, I said we are over and I meant every word. I can handle everything myself.

Surprise, surprise. He texts back immediately.

Hendrix: Let’s still be friends at least. I want to rebuild your trust in me.

Me: I don’t even want to be your friend. You couldn’t treat me with respect before. Why would I think you would now? It’s over, that’s it—end of story.

Hendrix: Oh, Babe, you will come around. I still want to help and you can’t stop me if I pay for things on my own.

Me: Whatever. Just stay the hell away from me.

I refuse to respond any more to him, I block his number. I don’t know what I ever saw in him.

I haven’t worked on my real job or done any housework in several days, so I get busy. This will take my mind off of men. I put on my headphone so I can zone out while I do the books for the church. There is nothing as boring as mindless data entry. I can knock this stuff out in about an hour and move on to some housework.

I wish it were that easy to keep my mind off of Cash. I don’t need him to fix my problems for me, but I was really getting into him. Damn him. I want him to fill my sexual needs, but I also really like him. If I can’t have all of him, I’ll take just his body for my pleasure. He can be my boy toy. I shall call him Man Candy! Is that so bad? Guys do that kind of shit all of the time and no one ever says a word.

I haven’t been sexually satisfied by a guy until he got me off with his fingers. I mean never—ever! If his fingers can work that kind of magic, I bet his cock will rock my world—hard. I’m going to seduce the shit out of him, and he isn’t going to know what hit him. Time for this girl to take control of her needs and get what she wants. If I have to, I’ll tie him to the bed. I’m not above a little bondage. It can be fun with the right partner. Oh, I haven’t called Karen. I’ve been scatterbrained with everything going on.

Now to text Cash and move on to the next, and hopefully the best, phase of my life.

Bailey: I AM GROWN THE FUCK UP!

Cash: Typing me in all caps proves that.

Bailey: Come over here please, and let’s talk. I’m not going to let Hendrix help me. I told him we were done and I mean it.

Cash: I don’t play games. I’m too old for that shit. We can talk. I’ll be over there in a little while. How about an hour?

Bailey: An hour is good.

I want to shower before Cash comes over, but of course as always my phone rings. “Hey, girl!” I say to Lizzie.

“You sound like you’re in a better mood,” She says, giggling into the phone.