Love Never Dies (12 page)

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Authors: Loren Lockner

BOOK: Love Never Dies
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Angie and Paul set their wedding date for the following September after Labor Day and J
ulia, who knew they’d originally planned to marry in June, blessed them quietly for their consideration, ensuring she wouldn’t have to survive a summer without work or a roommate. Her parents remained as strong and steadfast as they had always been, never pushing her to recover faster than her heart would bear.

One late afternoon, Paul stopped by the two
bedroom apartment on his way home from work.

“I need to talk to you about something,” he said quietly
, and Julia led him into a bedroom so painfully neat Paul winced. “Um, when I was going through the remainder of Seth’s clothing, I found this behind his chest-of-drawers. I think it slipped down the back somehow. Anyway, I think maybe, well... he had planned to give it to you. I’ve kept it for a while and after speaking to Mom and Dad, determined Seth would want you to have it; so here it is.”

He held out a small
red velvet case and Julia took it, knowing instantly what it was. Yet, when she opened it, she still gave an uncontrollable gasp; half in appreciation and half in despair.

The wedd
ing set was absolutely splendid. A deep channel-set engagement ring was highlighted by a beautiful one carat diamond glittering in a deep golden groove, surrounded by a circular band of deep-set diamonds. The matching wedding band, whose bright diamonds nestled in a thick channel of 18 carat gold, glimmered in the light.

“Seth always had great
taste didn’t he?” she said shakily. “Today’s Valentine’s Day isn’t it? You remember the night you proposed to Angie?”

“Yes,” answered her brother slowly, straightening his shoulders and peering wor
riedly down at her from his six-foot height.

“You
planned to propose to her on Valentine’s Day but were so impatient you couldn’t wait until then. Seth mentioned Valentine’s was a great time for doing something like that and I knew then this was the day he meant to propose. And here you are handing his engagement ring to me. Somehow, I feel that’s what he would have wanted. Thank you Paul for giving them to me.”

“Why don’t you come out with Angie and me tonight?
I don’t think it’s a good evening for you to be home alone.”

“I’ll
be just fine Paul. I promised Mom and Dad I’d share a glass of wine with them, and then I need to do something I should have done a while ago.” She patted his hand. “You’re not to worry; remember what I said a few weeks ago. Have a lovely dinner with your sweetheart. She deserves it. It’s been a trying time for her as well and she’s spent so much time being strong for me that Angie’s been rather neglected. I hope you can make up for some of that neglect tonight.”

“I’ll do just that,” promised Paul
, giving her a heartfelt hug. “Oh, I almost forgot. There was one other item behind the drawer, along with the box.” He handed her a plain white envelope the size of a postcard.

“It’s
just a little drawing. Maybe because Seth was an architect he sketched a logo or something for someone. See you later Julia.” He leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the cheek before enfolding her in another warm embrace.

“You’re the best brother
Paul and I mean it. Now go show your girl a good time,” urged Julia, placing the velvet box and envelope upon the top of her dresser. “I’ve got to run over to Mom and Dad’s; I promised them I’d be there by six. I’ll talk to you tomorrow then and it’s perfectly alright if I don’t see Angie again tonight.” Her brother gave her a wicked wink and departed.

 

 

Later
, when Julia arrived home at 9:30, she moved to the closet where she had stashed the sketch. She resolutely grabbed a hammer, and placing a single nail to the left-hand side of her bed, mounted the special painting of Seth and her. Julia sat gazing at the sketch, remembering how Seth’s lips had curved into that loving gentle smile. It was a long time before she rose and removed the single white sheet of paper from its envelope.

The sketch was delicate and lovely, depicting two rose
bushes, one pink, one red, whose interlocking branches mingled as if one. Upon the thorny trunk the initials SMH rested above the letters JAM, surrounded by the faintest outline of a heart. Seth Michael Hayes loves Julia Ann Morris; and she clutched the paper to her breast and allowed her tears to flow unabated. Later she carefully refolded the crumpled sheet and replaced it inside the envelope, stuffing it underneath the wedding set she’d hidden behind her socks. It was a long time before she was able to sleep.

 

 

That night Julia h
ad the strangest dream. She wandered through a huge white house, opening and shutting hallway doors at random, clearly searching for him. Julia knew she was getting close because the warm glow in her heart ignited and burned ever hotter as she approached a silver door at the end of the vast hall. The metal felt cool as she turned the knob. Seth, dressed in white, stood by a huge window, his ebony hair contrasting greatly with the bleached purity of the cloth.

He turned to gaze at her with silver eyes she’
d never forget and Julia noted his face was pallid and drawn. His hair hung long and stringy around his face as if he hadn’t washed or trimmed it in ages and a strange bandage covered part of his crown.

“Seth!” she cried
out, but he didn’t answer. Instead he just moved his too-thin hand over his chest, rubbing the painful spot.

“Seth!” she exclaimed again, demanding
he hear her, but no matter how loudly Julia shouted he remained deaf to her cries and she witnessed his head droop in sorrow. Seth leaned against the wall and using it for support inched toward a narrow bed. He limped badly, and finally grasping the cast iron headboard, lowered himself painfully upon the white-clad mattress, his unclosed eyes staring blankly at the ceiling.

His hand began to rub the
white shirt over his heart in earnest and Julia willed him to recognize she was there.

Finally the simple words burst from his lips.
“I love you forever my Julia and I will come back for you. Please wait for me my dearest, please wait!”

Julia bolted upright
among the damp covers of her bed, her head and heart throbbing. “Take back your soul,” she cried to the darkness, begging him to depart the sterile limbo he was trapped within. But no matter how she shouted into the darkness the burning knife in her breast only cut more painfully. “My poor, poor Seth,” Julia sobbed, knowing he’d chosen to wait for her; to wait until this life released her.

 

 

The days seemed endless as they plodded toward
the end of the school year, until finally in May something odd shook her out of her lethargic preoccupation. On that hot spring afternoon she noticed a tan sedan parked outside the school fence. Julia remembered seeing it there before and thought she recognized the muscular dark man slouching behind the steering wheel. He had a wide bushy moustache and reminded her of a photo she’d once glimpsed of an old Greek aristocrat.

J
ulia had originally surmised he was the father of a student, but he now appeared to just lounge about, lifting a cigarette to his lips as he took a nonchalant draw. The watcher appeared to be in his mid-to-late thirties and as she strolled past, heading toward the copy room, he totally ignored her, instead observing the front office intently. Two days later, as she pulled her blue Taurus out of the teacher’s parking lot, she once again noticed the tan sedan with its smoking occupant parked in the shade of a large eucalyptus tree near the east side of the school.

She reversed her sedan and headed back into the office intent upon telling the
secretary, Kerry Matthews, there was a man outside who might be stalking some children. Too many horror stories had been broadcast about child molesters and one could not be too careful. Kerry instantly phoned Connie, who was watching the sixth grade boys practice basketball in the gym and the principal immediately instructed Kerry to call their in-house security. Julia and Kerry watched the heavyset Jose Martinez stroll lazily up to the car and speak to the obviously put-out man, who gave a disgusted snort before gunning his engine and roaring down Hyatt Avenue.

“Thanks for alerting me,” said Connie, arriving just in time to witness the Chevy’s departure.
“As you said, one can’t be too careful when working with children.”

Kerry stepped outside the double glass door and
spoke earnestly to Jose, who’d just jotted down the Chevrolet’s license plate number and left to phone the police.

“And how are you doing these days?” Connie continued
, more softly.

“Fine,” answered Julia in h
er most normal tone of voice. She’d discovered most people wanted only a benign answer if and when they asked, but Connie was not so easily thwarted.

“Is it getting any better?”

“I’m able to work and exist on a fairly normal plane if that’s what you mean. I suspect that’s all I can hope for now. I recognize that there are all these stages of grief; shoot, my mother gave me the book and I’ve been reading it diligently.” Julia sighed and shrugged. “Sometimes I’m not even sure I ever went through denial, though maybe I did. I’m just hoping I can finally achieve the acceptance part and move on with my life.”

“Well it’s evident to me
you’ve gained back a few pounds and maintain a little more color in your cheeks. Could you accompany me into my office for a moment? I think now might be the opportune time to relay to you something interesting I observed last winter.”

Julia sat down heavily
across from her principal, a middle-aged Hispanic woman whose full red lips constantly smiled, brightening a luxuriant head of long black hair coiled in an attractive braid at her neck. Connie was well-liked by her staff and students and had apparently been offered an administrative position higher up in the district, but had turned down promotions twice already.

“I don’t mind having a long tenure as an
elementary principal, so ask me again in five years,” she bade the District Office. Teachers and parents alike had breathed a big sigh of relief, Julia being foremost among them.

Connie cleared her throat and fingered her reading glasses
among the piles of paperwork littering her desk. “It’s about your boyfriend Seth. I saw him do something peculiar and hesitated telling you about it considering the timing. I was wondering; did he go in for tattoos?”

“I beg your pardon?”
stuttered Julia stunned, not remotely expecting anything like this.

“Well,” said Connie
, hurrying on, distressed by the undisguised confusion upon Julia’s face. “I was strolling on the promenade by some of those neat crystal and glass shops intermixed with the art galleries and restaurants. A few tattoo parlors are intermingled among the other specialty shops and I had ventured near them to visit one of our students, Carlos Ramirez, who’d broken his leg. I’d arranged a home tutor for him and was dropping off the paperwork at his parent’s; they own the taco shop right near the skateboard landing. Anyway, to make a long story short, I glimpsed Seth standing outside Ernie’s Tattoo Parlor. He hesitated for a moment and then ventured inside. That was on Tuesday morning, the day he died.”

“So you think he was going in for a tattoo?”

“He may very well have, but who knows? Perhaps the next time you’d seen him he’d have sported a big old tattoo on his bicep complete with a gaudy anchor and the inscription, ‘I love Mama.’”

Julia managed a half-grin.
“You’re right; that’s a very strange and peculiar story, but thank you for telling me. I enjoy other’s reminisces about him and add those little tidbits to my memory file. Sometimes people are too careful not to mention Seth so I’m very glad you shared that incident with me.”

Connie smiled understandingly and accompanied her
to the door, exchanging pleasantries before Julia once again headed for her car. She drove home feeling strangely unsettled and puzzled.

Once inside her room she fe
lt around the back of her sock drawer, her fingers ignoring the soft velvet of the jewelry box and reaching for the worn envelope instead. She pulled out the beautiful sketch of the entwined rosebushes so delicately drawn upon the small white sheet. Julia ran a trembling finger over the drawing and drew in a deep shuddering breath, realizing Seth’s commitment had been absolute. She only hoped he’d realized how much he’d meant to her.

 

 

In her free time that summer she helped Angie and Paul prepare for their wedding
, whose date was set for September
fourteenth. Both her brother and Angie managed to get time off work and her brother secretly told her he’d booked a week in Cancun for their honeymoon.

“Tell Angie I keep talking about
Yellowstone or Banff, or something like that.” Angie was an outdoor enthusiast and loved to hike and camp. The ploy might very well work, so Julia dropped a few subtle hints to her future sister-in-law about trees and bears and whatnot as her brother grinned conspiratorially.

She also taught summer school and
took a writing course in August to help pass the long summer days. During her free time she spent endless hours walking on the beach and collecting shells, helping her mother prepare for the wedding, and performing the simple maintenance needed for the oversized aquarium in her brother’s condo. The fish were doing nicely and her brother had added a silver eel and several anemones with their resident tomato clowns to liven up the beautiful tank where red and green algae covered the natural reef rock as the yellow tangs darted about. It was peaceful working on the huge tank, and she recalled the enthusiasm gripping Seth as he designed the perfect saltwater aquarium for the spacious living room.

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