Authors: C.Y. Dillon
BARTENDER
The unforgivable?
Harmonia blinks as if the light was suddenly turned on.
HARMONIA
That's it. He's been lying to me.
Is he a midget?
Mike laughs and sucks on the lime. He laughs again.
CHIEKO, a young Asian American woman, sits next to Harmonia.
HARMONIA
Screw it all. It's all bull shit--
CHIEKO
--And it's bad for you. Carlin was
brilliant.
Harmonia smiles at her.
HARMONIA
Hi. I'm Harmonia. And I'm an idiot.
CHIEKO
Welcome Harmonia. I'm Chieko. A
former idiot. I've pretended to be
smart for nine months.
Harmonia laughs.
INT. CHIEKO'S CABIN G339 - NIGHT
Harmonia and Chieko laugh, facing each other, sitting on the bed of a premium cabin with a view of the river.
HARMONIA
That's what I told him! Most men are
just awful in bed. I refuse to fake
another orgasm.
CHIEKO
It's selfishness. Laziness. Nothing
more, nothing less.
HARMONIA
There's no excuse for it. Tell me
another story.
CHIEKO
Okay. I'll tell you about my Orion.
Chieko gets comfy. She gazes at the river.
CHIEKO
My Orion is a Native American. You've
heard of the Four Corners?
HARMONIA
I stopped there once.
CHIEKO
He's a ranger with the Navajo Parks
and Recreation. He lives in Window
Rock, Arizona, with a fat slob bitch,
shows him no respect. Disgusting.
HARMONIA
That bothers me more than anything.
A woman lets herself get repulsive,
withholds sexual pleasure, whines,
pisses, moans--
CHIEKO
--Nags, manipulates, clings. I
despise that sort of woman.
HARMONIA
Me too. No regard for the reputation
of Womanhood.
Harmonia and Chieko admire one another's beauty, the sort older women have when they care.
INT. ENGINE ROOM - NIGHT
The Bartender and the CAPTAIN, who looks about the same age, stand looking ahead. The paddle wheel churns.
BARTENDER
Do you think she could be?
CAPTAIN
This little game of yours could very
well turn her, if she isn't already.
BARTENDER
I wouldn't mind if they'd let me in
the middle.
The Captain chuckles.
BARTENDER
Did you see them?
CAPTAIN
I've seen everyone on this ship.
They'd make a pleasing sandwich.
BARTENDER
Asian women are hot.
CAPTAIN
Harmonia is the one I'd go for, if I
were you.
BARTENDER
What do you think I'm doing?
CAPTAIN
How are you going to approach it?
INT. DELTA QUEEN SUN DECK - MORNING
Harmonia and Chieko stand with coffee and soak in the scenery.
HARMONIA
Have you ever thought you could?
CHIEKO
Sure. Who hasn't?
HARMONIA
Did you try with anyone?
CHIEKO
Yes. When I was 23.
HARMONIA
Me too! We have so much in common,
except you got paid for it and I
never asked for a cent.
CHIEKO
Ask and ye shall receive.
The Bartender approaches the two women, holding his own coffee.
BARTENDER
Beautiful morning.
He leans on the railing, next to Harmonia, gazes out.
BARTENDER
You've found a kindred spirit.
HARMONIA
I have!
The sounds of the river and the paddle hypnotize the threesome. Eric invades their space.
ERIC
Ladies. Mr. Bartender.
He stands next to the Bartender.
BARTENDER
Enjoying your vacation?
ERIC
Things could be worse.
The Bartender laughs as if it's an inside joke.
HARMONIA
I'm getting off at the next port.
ERIC
Why?
HARMONIA
Figure it out.
CHIEKO
A woman who has made up her mind,
there is no turning it.
Eric and the Bartender take this in.
BARTENDER
Chasing the storm.
Harmonia looks at him as if he's said something most peculiar. She looks to Chieko.
HARMONIA
Interpretation.
They laugh. The two men look at each other and shrug.
CHIEKO
What doesn't kill you will make you
stronger.
ERIC
Nietzsche went insane, didn't he?
HARMONIA
Not because of that gem.
CHIEKO
Probably syphilis. Come on,
girlfriend, let's get some fruit.
The two women walk away.
BARTENDER
Bye ladies.
ERIC
Things don't seem to be working out.
BARTENDER
Nothing ever goes as planned. You
have to be like that.
He points to a leaf on the river. Eric watches the leaf collide with the paddle.
ERIC
Life sucks.
The Bartender laughs, pats the younger man on the back.
BARTENDER
You can't always get what you want.
He walks away.
EXT. PORT OF NATCHEZ, MISSISSIPPI - DAY
Harmonia disembarks the Delta Queen.
INT. PHONE BOOTH - MOMENTS LATER
Harmonia swipes her credit card to place a call.
Through the glass she watches an ELDERLY COUPLE. The woman pushes the man in a wheel chair. He has an O2 nasal tube
and oxygen canister.
INT. BARTENDER'S CABIN - DAY
A cell phone rings. The Bartender looks at the display. The number is "unavailable". He lets it go to voicemail:
ORION (V. O. )
(filtered)
Hi, you've reached Orion--
BACK TO PHONE BOOTH - CONT'D
Harmonia listens to Orion's voicemail and studies the elderly
couple.
ORION (CONT'D)
--I'm sorry I'm not available right
now. Leave a message.
The couple stops at a GREETING CARD STAND outside a GIFT SHOP. The man points at a card with difficulty. The woman smiles. She holds the card in front of him.
HARMONIA
Orion. Okay, first I hope you had a
happy birthday, whatever you decided
to do instead. I can't stay mad at
you, friends forever, right?
The old woman opens the card and reads it. The old man chuckles and nods. She puts the card back. They move on.
Chieko knocks on the phone booth and motions for Harmonia to meet her in the gift shop. Harmonia nods.
INT. PORT NATCHEZ GIFT SHOP - MOMENTS LATER
Harmonia and Chieko browse souvenirs of Natchez and the Mississippi River.
CHIEKO
What did he say?
HARMONIA
Nada. Voicemail.
The two women say "Whatever" at the same time.
CHIEKO
When I was finally able to retire
from my career as a Geisha, I rejoiced
that it was the last day I would
ever have to fake happiness.
Harmonia laughs.
HARMONIA
I don't have to fake anything with
Ri. That's one reason I need him.
CHIEKO
I've eliminated 'need' from my
vocabulary.
HARMONIA
Congratulations. I need Orion. I
only wish I could make him understand
that. I think he's scared out of his
wits that I'm going to break his heart.
CHIEKO
Are you going to stay on the boat?
HARMONIA
It's too much hassle to try to get
to Vegas from Natchez. Anyway, I
don't know where he is. It's making
me nuts.
CHIEKO
You're chasing the storm, like the
Bartender said.
HARMONIA
I don't care. I like twisters.
CHIEKO
Suit yourself.
INT. BARTENDER'S CABIN - DAY
There's a knock at the door. The Bartender opens it. Mike enters.
MIKE
She didn't come in last night. I
don't know where she slept.
BARTENDER
I know.
MIKE
Where?
BARTENDER
With the former Geisha.
The men ponder this with glee.