Love on a Dirt Road (The Roughneck Series Book 1) (8 page)

Chapter 8

  Mom and I were in the kitchen making brownies. She was wearing her favorite blue apron and her hair was in a messy bun. She was beautiful. She was humming "Jackson" by Johnny and June Cash. She looked over at me and blew me a kiss.

  "When did you know Dad was the one?" I asked as I licked the spoon of chocolate.

  "Oh sweetie. I think I loved your daddy the first time I saw him. There was just something about him. He was so handsome and he looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world."

  "That's because you were" Dad said as he walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around mom from behind. "Then our little Lainey came along and I had the two prettiest girls in the world next to me." He gave me a wink and then he kissed my mom’s hair.

  That's when I heard a loud explosion. I looked out the kitchen window and saw my dad's truck on fire.

  "Daddy your truck!" I screamed. I looked back but they were gone. I was in the kitchen alone.

  "NO! NO! NO! NO!" I kept screaming. I tried to run out to the truck but my legs wouldn't move. The tears started flowing and I couldn't scream anymore. I was frozen. My legs. My voice. Nothing. All I felt was pain.

  I jerked myself awake in the darkness. I was dripping sweat and my pillow was soaked with tears. All I could do was cry. I missed them so much. I hadn't dreamt of them in a long time. But every time I did, it ended badly. My therapist warned me it would happen. But I had hoped she was wrong. She wasn't. When my breathing calmed down and my tears dried a little I grabbed my phone. 3:54 am. There was no way I was going back to sleep. I knew what I needed to do. I'd been avoiding it for years, but it was time. So I got out of bed and headed to the shower.

6:45 am

  I sat in my car staring at the freshly cut grass. The sun was starting to peak into the cloudy sky.  It was a nice place. But I was waiting in my car until the sun was completely out. Nice or not, I wasn't walking through a cemetery in the dark.  So I sipped my coffee and tried to remain calm. To pass the time I sent an email to Dr. Weston letting him know I would be an hour late. I wanted to have enough time to get myself together after this. I knew it was going to be tough.  That nightmare had really shaken me up. I didn't want to have those memories and I hoped it would fade away. I wanted to remember the happy times with my parents.

  I opened the car door and slowly made my way to their resting place. I hadn't been here since the funeral but my feet knew exactly where to go.  When I spotted the adjoining headstone my knees almost buckled. But I kept walking until I was in front of it. There were fresh flowers in the vase. I looked around, they were identical flowers in front of almost every spot. Then my guilt set in. A stranger put flowers on my parent’s gravesite because I couldn't come here. But I knew they weren't really here. I knew they were in heaven. 

Luke and Sara Collins. Loving parents. Soul mates.

When I was forced to pick out their headstone, I didn't know what it should say. I was broken and those were the only words I could think of. But it fit them. Because that's what they were.

  "I'm sorry I haven't been here before" I spoke quietly.

  "I just miss y’all so much. I thought it would be too hard. It is too hard, who am I kidding?"

  I sat in silence for a while. I didn't cry. Maybe I had cried all my tears out this morning. I missed them terribly. So much it made my stomach hurt. I prayed that I would never forget my mom’s laugh or the way my dad would wrap his arms around me in his bear hugs. I thought about how much they loved each other. They really were soul mates. I don't even know if one of them could have existed without the other. As much as I missed them, I know they would have been lost without each other if this tragedy had ended differently. I had no doubt they were in heaven together, spending forever side by side.

  "I met someone" I finally whispered.

  "He's amazing. He's such a good man. I haven't known him long, but I think I'm in love with him." I prayed they could hear me.

  "You would like him Dad, he's a hard worker and he tells me I'm beautiful. He even took me fishing."

  "Mom, you always told me that you just knew Dad was the one. When you know you know, you would say. Well I definitely know. I love him."

  Just then a couple of drops of rain fell on my head. I didn't even think it was supposed to rain today. I ran my fingers over their names and kissed the cold stone. The rain began to fall harder.

  "I love y'all. I won't stay away anymore" I said after I stood. The rain continued and I ran to my car. Once I got in I put the keys in the ignition. It was cold, I needed heat. When the car started, the radio came on also.

  Baby Blue by George Strait was playing. I knew in that moment that they heard me. They were with me. And then the tears started to fall.

  As I walked into the clinic I felt all eyes on me. I got a little self -conscious. What were they all looking at? I had ran home and put on makeup and dry clothes. I didn't think you could tell I had been crying. The puffiness around my eyes was hardly noticeable with concealer.

  "Mornin’ y'all." I said as I looked at everyone.

  "Morning Lainey" They all seemed to say in almost unison. Each of them held their own little smile. Maddie and Lauren, two of the vet techs just looked at each other and giggled.

  "What?" I asked. "Why are y'all being weird?"

  "You had a delivery." Mackenzie smiled and pointed to the far counter as she walked past me.

  My eyes glanced over in that direction. That's when I spotted what all the smiling was about. A dozen beautiful pink roses. My favorite.

  Jase.
I couldn't help but put my hand over my heart. They had to be from him.

  I walked over to the vase and took in that distinct aroma. I loved the smell of flowers.  Then I spotted a card and couldn't read it quick enough. A small part of me feared they would be from Derek, but I brushed that thought away pretty quick. He didn't buy me flowers the whole time we were together, he wouldn't start now.

  “You're turning me into a pansy. I miss you. Love, Jase"
I read.

  I couldn't help but giggle. He was so funny. He just left yesterday and he missed me. The feeling was so mutual.

  I ran to the bathroom so I could send Jase a quick text. Dr. Weston was a great boss but no cell phones during work was his biggest rule.

Me: Thank you so much for the flowers. They're beautiful.

Me: And FYI, you are definitely not a pansy ;) Ur alllll man! :)

Me: And I miss you too!

  I wanted to wait for a text back but I had to get to work. So I put my phone back in my purse and walked out the door.

  Once I got home from work, I got comfy and started cooking dinner. Sam wasn't feeling well so I decided to and make her soup and grilled cheese. I hadn't heard back from Jase all day. To say that I was disappointed was an understatement. But I knew he was working and didn't get off until 6 o'clock. I couldn't help but watch the clock as I was cooking.

  I was making Sam a glass of juice when I heard my phone go off.

Jase: Ur welcome. Glad you liked them. Gotta shower and eat. I'll call you in just a little bit.

Me: Ok. Hurry! :)

  "Do you want me to get you some medicine or something?" I asked Sam, who was sitting with her head resting on the arm of the sofa.

  "No, I'm ok. I just need to go to bed. I feel like shit." She said as she got off the couch and wrapped her throw blanket around herself. "Thanks for making me food"

  "Of course" I said and patted her on the back. "Let me know if you need anything. Get some rest."

  "Night" She mumbled as she walked into her room.

  I cleaned the kitchen and sat on the sofa flipping stations. Nothing held my interest. So I decided to go ahead and call Jase. Then I started second guessing my decision. He said he would call me when he could. I didn't want to be clingy. But I missed his voice. I missed him. Geez, it's been one day. Ugh. The sound of my phone ringing pulled me from my thoughts. There was that beautiful face.

  "Hey you" I said as I answered my phone

  "Mmmm… hey beautiful. I missed that voice today."

  "God, me too!" I said too quickly "How was your day?"

  "It was the first day, it always sucks. But it's better now."

  We talked for over an hour. Jase told me about work and even though I didn't understand half of what he was telling me, I didn't care. I just loved listening to him. I told him about going to my parent’s gravesite. He was so worried about me and if I was ok. He genuinely cared about my feelings. He apologized for not being home to be there for me after I went. He always said what I needed to hear. God, he was amazing.

Chapter 9

2 weeks later

   I spent the last two weeks in the same routine. Wake up, text Jase. Work. Go home, wait for Jase to call. Sam was sick for the whole first week, so taking care of her occupied part of my time. I made the comment that she was love sick. When she launched her Nike at my head I decided she wasn't ready to admit it and didn't bring it up again.  Once she started feeling better she convinced me to go out to JR's with her and Mackenzie. But the truth is, neither one of us was really into it. I missed Jase, he was all I could think about. And I know Sam missed Moon, even if she never said it. We were home by midnight.

  I'll admit it was hard, but I made it. I survived.  And today was the day! Jase would be home tonight. I had a feeling I couldn't even explain. I think I was so excited that it made me feel nervous. I had butterflies all day. Right after work I went home to shower and get myself ready for that beautiful man. I made sure to pick up a sexy new panties and bra set to wear for him. It was light pink and lace. Cute and sexy but not too slutty. But I missed Jase so much I was feeling a little slutty. I wanted him so much the weight between my legs was almost unbearable.

  I pulled into the guest house driveway and then walked over to the mailbox. I grabbed the stack and headed to the front door.

  Jason Foster. He never told me his name was actually Jason. I had always assumed it was just Jase. He didn't look like a Jason, he was Jase. My Jase.

  I walked into the house, put the mail on the counter and took my overnight bag to the bedroom. Jase should be here soon.  I took my jeans and T-shirt off and put them in the corner chair. I ran to the bathroom with my cosmetics back and put a little perfume on. I brushed through my hair and checked myself out in the mirror.
Not bad.

  I grabbed my phone from my purse and called Jase. He picked up almost instantly.

  "Hey baby, I hope you’re at my house, I'm about 15 minutes out."

  "I'm here" I said through a smile.

  "Are you naked?" He asked.

  "Almost" I said as I looked down at my tiny pink panties and bra that made my boobs look amazing.

  "I'll be there as fast as I can" He said.

  "Be careful though."

  "Will do baby. See you in a minute."

  "Ok bye."

  I ended the call and grabbed the two candles and lighter I brought out of my bag. I put a candle on each nightstand and lit them. It sounded like a good idea beforehand but now I was worried Jase might think I was cheesy. Lingerie and candles? I was second guessing myself. Oh well. It's not like I was putting jazz music on. I wasn't going that far. I just wanted this to be perfect. But we could be in a field, or a couch or under a bridge and it would be perfect. As long as Jase was there, it was perfect. Besides he would be here in a minute. The butterflies started flapping around my stomach in full force. My plan was to try and lay on the bed in a sexy little pose and wait for him to walk into the bedroom. But as soon as I heard the key in the door I jumped off the bed. I couldn't wait a second longer to see him. I met him at the front door just as he opened it and put his bag on the floor.

He looked me up and down as I stood in front of him. I couldn't move for a second because he mesmerized me. He was so beautiful. The hair on his face was shorter than usual but it was scruffy already. Those eyes of his sparkled even in the dimly lit room. He was wearing the extra worn baseball cap that I loved with a flannel shirt. He had those worn out jeans tucked in my boots and my stomach did a flip flop. He was so sexy.

  "Fuck, I missed you" He said as he grabbed me around the waist and lifted me off the floor. He put his mouth on mine and his lips started to explore me. He tasted so good. It was minty mixed with Jase. It was heavenly.

  "I missed you too baby" I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. Then I was up against the front door and Jase grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head with one hand while he held onto my ass with the other.

  "So fucking beautiful" He whispered in my ear as he kissed my neck and shoulder.

  "Oh God" I moaned as I squeezed my legs around him tighter. I couldn't form any other words. I just wanted him closer.

  "I've been thinking about that pussy for 2 weeks. I want to taste it. I need it Lainey."

  "Take me to bed Jase" His dirty mouth would be my undoing. I needed him now.

  Jase didn't answer me, he just carried me to his room and slammed the door with his boot.

  An hour later we were sprawled out on the bed, naked, out of breath and completely helpless. The moon was shining through the window and the candles were still burning. This was perfect. I didn't think I could move and that was just fine with me, because I didn't want to. Ever.

  "I'm so glad your home" I whispered to Jase. He was tracing small circles on my stomach and it was so relaxing I could hardly speak.

  "Me too." He said and then propped his head up on his hand and looked into my eyes.

  We just stared at each other in the dim light. He was intoxicating. I could stare at him forever. He put his hand on my cheek and kissed my neck.

  "I love you Lainey" He whispered in my ear.

  Did he just say he loved me? I wanted to be sure.

  "Say it again" I said quietly.

  This time he looked me right in the eye. “I love you Lainey"

  "I love you Jase" I said and kissed him. "So much"

Jase pulled me closer so I could lay my head against him. I felt his chest rise and fall with each breath he took. It was comforting and peaceful. He was my haven.

"I think I started falling in love with you the first time I saw you. I've never felt so close to anyone and I sure as hell never said it." He said as he ran his fingers up and down my back. "I wanted to tell you weeks ago, but I was worried it was too soon."

  "Me too" I whispered. "But I didn't want to freak you out."

  I felt his chest twitch a little. Was he laughing? I raised my head and looked up at him. He was wearing a sleepy smile, those dimples still visible through the stubble.

  "What's so funny?" I asked with playful suspicion.

  "You actually did tell me a few weeks ago."

  "What?" I asked. I was really confused.

  "The night you drank the shine." He said and then paused.

  "Oh my god" I said and put my face in his chest. "Please tell me you’re kidding"

  "I was carrying you to your room when you started passing out on the couch. When I put you down on your bed, you told me you loved me. Then you apologized and passed out. I thought you were just drunk. I already knew I loved you and I prayed to God you were telling the truth."

  "Well as embarrassing as that is, it was the truth. Jase, I fell in love with you so fast it scared me."

  "Me too, Babydoll. Me too." He said as he kissed me on the head.

  We laid there in silence for a few minutes. I knew he must be tired. He had worked extra hours and then drove all the way home. He was probably hungry too. He had definitely worked up an appetite.

  "Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you something to eat?" I asked.

  "Nu-uh." He mumbled. He was almost asleep. "Just stay here"

  "I'm not going anywhere" I whispered in his ear and kissed his cheek.

  I got up and blew out the candles and then grabbed the comforter at the end of the bed. I covered us up and snuggled against Jase. This was the best feeling in the world.

  "Get some sleep" I told him.

  "Love you" He whispered.

  "I love you" I said as I kissed his chest.

  His breathing evened out and he was sleeping in less than a minute.

  Dawn was breaking and I knew it was almost time to get up for work. But I didn't want to move. I was so cozy wrapped up in my Jase blanket. I don't think he moved all night. He must have been exhausted. "Walk the Line" by Johnny Cash started to play from my phone. My alarm.
Damn it! I knew it was that time.
Jase started to stir.

  "I'm sorry." I whispered as I reached over and hit the snooze button.

  "Mmmm..." He nuzzled against me.

  "I gotta get up" I said

  "Nu-uh. Don't go."

  "I don't want to, but I have to."

  Jase put his hand over my forehead. "You can't" He said.

  "I can't?" I asked with a giggle

  "No, you’re sick. I think you have a fever. The doctor said you have to stay in bed naked all day. It's the only way to get better." He mumbled and wrapped me tighter.

  "That sounds wonderful but I have to work" I pouted. "Go back to sleep, you need your rest" I said as I kissed him on the cheek and slid out of bed. I grabbed my overnight bag and headed to the bathroom.

Friday afternoon

  I was at home getting ready for Moon's bonfire when Sam came busting through my door.

  "Shit, you scared me" I said.

  "Moon wants to date!" She said with wide eyes. I couldn't help but laugh. She looked scared to death.

  "Um. Ok." I said dramatically.

  "Like, not just sex. Like exclusive. Me and him. What the fuck is he thinking?" She said, honestly confused.

  "Sam." I said sternly. "When is the last time you actually went on a date with a guy? Or had sex with someone other than Moon?"

  "I don't know" She said quietly.

  "Yes you do"

  "I don't know, like 3 or 4 months ago, I went out for coffee with a guy who brings his dog to the clinic."

  "And?" I asked.

  "He was ok I guess. He was kind of annoying. And he was wearing slacks and a polo. Ew." She said with a look of disgust. I couldn't help but laugh.

  "And he wasn't Moon." I said very matter of fact.

  "And he wasn't Moon." She repeated quietly.

  "Finally!" I clapped. "You finally admitted it!" I said and hugged her.

  "You're such a bitch" She muttered as she hugged me back.

  "So what did you say?" I asked.

  "I told him I had to think about it and I ran out" She said.

  "No you didn't!"

  “Yes I did. I panicked ok! Fuck!"

  "God, Sam. He asked you to date him not have his baby you nut job." I said through my laughter.

  "What do I do?" She said as she flopped down on my bed face first.

  "Um. You're going to get yourself sexied up. We're gonna go to Moon's and you’re going to tell him you're sorry for being an idiot and you love him."

  Sam jerked her head up so fast she could have given herself whip lash.

  "Ok, scratch the last part." I said before she started throwing things. “I don't know Sam, tell him how you feel."

  "Fine." She said as she stood up and headed towards the door.

  Jase and I walked out of the guest house hand in hand and headed to the Man Barn. There were a few people inside playing pool and some others outside gathered around the bonfire. It wasn't terribly cold, but it was November and I couldn't help but shiver at little.

  "Come here baby" Jase said as he pulled me to him. "I'll warm you up."

  I wrapped my arm around his waist as we walked into the barn. Luckily Moon had central heat in here so it was comfortable. I scanned the room for Sam. She was in the corner talking to Moon. She had her finger linked in his belt loop and he had his hand on the small of her back. They looked cozy. I was so glad they were admitting they had feelings for each other.

  "Finally huh" Jase whispered in my ear.

  "I know!" I said with excitement.

  Just then I heard "Come a little closer" by Dierks Bentley start playing on the surround sound.

  "I love this song" I said as I wrapped my arms around Jase. "Ya wanna dance?" I said half kidding because I already knew the answer.

  "I love you baby, but I don't dance. You don't even wanna see it" He said with a chuckle.

  "I know, I know." I grinned. "Maybe one of these days" I said with a wink.

  "Maybe" He said and gave me a kiss.

  "How about a game of pool then?" I asked.

  "That I can do" He said as he grabbed me by the hand and led me toward the pool table that just became free.

  I could feel someone staring at me so I looked to my left. It was Moon's cousin, Seth.  I hadn't seen him since high school and that suited me just fine. I never really liked him, he always gave me the creeps. He was that one guy in his 20's that always like to hang out at the high school parties. But he was Moon's family so I never really said anything. But I really wished he would quit staring. I glanced up at Jase and he had also noticed. I saw his jaw flinching as he watched Seth. I tried to distract him.